Lovely misandry
by AiraSora
Summary: Being in love for the first time is never easy, but to Arnold, it's downright torment. Not only has he been in love with her his whole life, not only is she his best friend; she hates and distrusts men with her entire being. He is the only exception, but how much of an exception is he really? Can he win over the girl whose heart has turned to stone by the men in her life?
1. Accidental love confession

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **Summary:** _ **Being in love for the first time is never easy, but to Arnold, it's downright torment. Not only has he been in love with her his whole life. Not only is she his best friend. She hates and distrust men with her entire being. He is the only exception, but how much of an exception is he really? Can he win over the girl whose heart has turned to stone by the men in her life?**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Hey-hey-hey! Missed me? I know some of you missed me so much that you even wrote to me ha-ha x'D The messages have been much appreciated, but don't get me wrong; this hiatus wasn't due to stress or pain from gallstone attacks (those are mostly done, thank god) but simply because my attention shifts. Remember those times where I basically uploaded a chapter for a story day? Well, that's periods where I'm very focused on my writing and am totally forgetting my other hobbies, like editing for my YouTube channel. And other times, I'm more focused on editing and that was the case this time. I have, hopefully, entered an editing competition so you can root for me there if you're subscribed to me! Ha-ha xD**

 **Well, enough with that! This is the long term project I've wanted to start since… a year ago maybe? xD The document I have with notes for this story was created in January, but I think the idea is older than that. I can't say how long it will be, but it** _ **will**_ **be a long-termed project so hold onto your hats and your glasses (is that even an English expression too?) because this is gonna be a bumpy ride!**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 1: "Accidental love confession"

"Hey, Arnold."

The boy, whose name was just called, looked up from his phone and was met by the scrutinizing eyes of his male classmates. They all had those smirks on their faces that told him he wasn't gonna like what his best friend Gerald, who was the one who had called his name, was gonna say.

"What color are Helga's eyes?"

Arnold heard his phone give a complaining beep when he tightened his grip on it and misclicked on the keyboard. "How would I know?" he lied and looked down on his phone again, pretending he didn't know why they were asking him such a random question.

"I think they're brown." Harold said thoughtfully.

Arnold looked away from his phone. _What?_

"No, man! They're totally green!" Sid insisted playfully.

Arnold frowned. _Are you kidding me?_

"No, I think Harold's right. They gotta be brown. They're pretty dark, right?" Gerald asked, the smirk never leaving his face.

"Wait, I'm confused." Stinky muttered and scratched his head. "Aren't they pretty light and all?"

"I'd say so too!" Eugene interfered with his perky voice. "They are quite light. Like grass, I think!"

"No, they're not!" Arnold shouted, unable to listen to the nonsense anymore. "Helga's eyes are blue, they're freaking blue, they're the bluest thing I've ever seen! They're blue like the sky, blue like diamonds, blue like – "

Arnold's heated rant was instantly stopped when he noticed the grins on his friends' faces. It was then he knew he had walked right into their trap. He gave them a warning glare.

"Don't." he hissed and looked at his phone again, wishing he could crawl into a hole.

"Dude," Gerald said calmly and sat down next to the blonde, flustered boy. "you _have_ to tell her."

Arnold sighed and finally put his phone away in his pocket. "You know why I can't."

The boys looked worriedly at each other. They knew very well indeed. Helga wasn't the kind of girl you just went up to and confessed your undying affection to. Especially not when you were her childhood friend and basically the only boy she would give the time of day to. Arnold was already a million levels higher in Helga's book than any boy could ever hope to be so wishing for more was almost greedy. But Arnold had been in love with Helga since they wore diapers and hitting that wonderfully horrible age of 16 years old was _not_ making the hiding easier.

"Well, she's gonna find out on her own anyway." Harold insisted and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"How?" Arnold asked. "If I never tell her, she'll never know."

"Arnold," Gerald said comically seriously and put his hand on the shorter boy's shoulder. "you just described the girl's eyes as sky-blue diamonds…"

Arnold's eyebrows knitted together. He wanted to argue against Gerald, but the dark-skinned boy just kept looking at him with that piercing look. So Arnold sighed, unsure of what else to do. He let his oblong-shaped head, or Football Head as Helga had nicknamed it, fall onto his desk. Gerald patted his back soothingly, but it didn't bring much comfort. Arnold's situation as stagnant as it had his entire life.

"Helga probably won't ever figure it out though." Harold said, obviously changing his mind. "She doesn't even see Arnold as a boy."

Arnold visibly cringed at the reminder. It was true after all. One of Helga's biggest arguments to why she was hanging out with him was that he wasn't like other boys. It was true that he perhaps wasn't as masculine as most boys in his class, but he was still a boy and he was very much in love with her like only a stupid love-smitten boy could be.

"Is that why she still sleeps over at his place?" Gerald asked teasingly.

"What?!" Sid bellowed and slammed his hands on Arnold's desk, getting his attention immediately. "You let her _sleep over_? How do you stop yourself from touching her?"

"I have self-control and I care about her!" Arnold answered a bit angrily.

"Is that why you said no when she asked if she could sleep over yesterday?" Gerald asked, still with the smirk on his face.

Arnold looked guiltily at his friends before looking away. "I just don't feel like it."

The boys snorted in unison.

"There's no such thang as you not wanna hang with Helga." Stinky said while he laughed.

"I just…" Arnold said and tried to come up with an excuse, but he couldn't think of anything. He let his head fall down on his desk again. "I just can't take another sleepless night."

"Aww, the cry of a horny cat that's been rejected too many times." Sid joked and laughed loudly when Arnold glared at him.

"He's never gotten far enough to be rejected!" Harold said and laughed as well.

"I'm glad my pain is amusing to you guys." Arnold said a bit bitterly, but he wasn't truly angry.

Gerald patted his shoulder again. "Maybe you really should consider telling her. Before she finds out in a bad way."

"Any way Helga might find out I have feelings for her would be a bad way." Arnold argued. "I could show up with WrestleMania tickets, an autograph by Ronnie Matthews and a two pound bag with pork rinds and she would still bite my head off."

"Aw, come on. She wouldn't kill you." Sid insisted.

"Maybe smack you around a little though." Harold added and nudged his elbow against Sid's arm and they laughed maliciously.

"It'd be funny if it wasn't true." Arnold muttered sourly and rested his chin in his hand.

"It's still funny." Sid insisted as he kept chuckling.

"I think you're wrong though." Eugene interfered to everyone's surprise. "I think Helga cares too much about you to ever really hate you. I truly believe that if you just told her honestly how you feel, she'd understand."

"No way." The other boys stated blandly.

"Oh, come on, you guys!" Eugene insisted. "Arnold is the only boy Helga even talks to. Don't you think that means something?"

"She won't talk to _any_ boy if he tells her he sees her that way." Sid said as he crossed his arms, suddenly serious. "Naw, if you want my vote, Arnold, I'd say keep your mouth shut."

"You're kidding!" Gerald insisted. "What if Helga finds out on her own?"

"She won't." Sid insisted. "If she hasn't for 16 years, she's not gonna figure it out now."

"I say tell her." Gerald argued. "There's a bigger chance that she'll forgive you if just tell her honestly."

"He doesn't need to be forgiven! Love is a wonderful thing and shouldn't be excused!" Eugene complained.

"Problem is that's how Helga will see it." Gerald pointed out. "She'll see it as betrayal."

"And that's why I'm not telling her!" Arnold said, getting fed up with the conversation. "There's no way I could ever tell Helga how I feel! I don't want to lose her friendship, I can't risk that, it's not worth it!"

"So you'll just live in torment the rest of your life?"

"Living in torment would be living _without_ Helga."

The boys cooed teasingly. All except for Eugene, who was cheering for Arnold and Helga to get together, and Gerald, the one who truly knew how painful it was for Arnold to be constantly around the girl he was pining so much for. That he was willing to go through this year after year was testimony to the depth of his feelings. And it worried Gerald.

Outside the classroom, where the troubled blonde boy sat, the source of his problems was sitting completely unaware. She was sitting among the girls, but wasn't listening. She was pouting. Or rather, Helga Pataki wasn't much of a pouter, she was more of a scowler. Most of her friends hadn't noticed her sour mood because she wasn't a cheerful girl most of the time, but her best friend Phoebe noticed a long time ago. She had currently mustered enough courage to ask her what was wrong.

Helga sighed. "Arnold's angry at me." she said.

"Angry? With you? He's never angry with you." Phoebe insisted in confusion.

"I know!" Helga declared loudly enough for her other friends to notice her outburst. "But he must be! I can't think of what I've done wrong though."

"There's no way he'd get pissed _now_." Rhonda, the self-proclaimed fashion queen, stated. "You've been rude, obnoxious and vulgar for years. There's no way he suddenly grew some balls."

"Yeah, so what the hell is his problem?" Helga asked, deliberately ignoring Rhonda's snide comment.

"Are you sure you haven't done anything ruder lately?" Nadine asked.

"If I had, I sure as hell didn't notice."

"Whatever makes you think Arnold could be angry with you, Helga?" Lila asked sweetly.

Helga rested her chin in her palm. "He won't let me sleep over."

The girls blinked and turned to look at each other in perfect unison.

"Uh… sleep over?" Sheena repeated with a slight blush on her face and Helga nodded. "Isn't that… a little odd at our age?"

"Arnold and I grew up together!" Helga insisted as if her friends were insane.

"He's still a boy, Helga." Rhonda tried to argue.

Helga shook her head. "No, no, no. If Arnold even remotely resembled other boys I wouldn't go anywhere near him. Something else is wrong." She insisted.

"Not like a boy, huh…" Nadine mumbled and sighed with Sheena. "That poor kid."

"Patty!" Helga said and got the attention of the slightly older girl sitting next to her though she hadn't been listening so far. "Play hooky with me."

"Sure." The girl agreed sluggishly and stood up from the bench.

"Where are you going?" Phoebe asked worriedly.

"Bon-Bon."

"Oh, no. Helga!" Phoebe called and took the blonde girl's hand. "Please don't go there again!"

"And why not?" Helga asked and ripped her hand out of Phoebe's grip.

"Well, first of all, it's in the middle of a school day!"

"So? I'm ahead of everyone else anyway, and same with Patty."

"And second of all, they serve alcohol to minors!"

"That's why we're going. See ya, ladies." Helga said, waved with a two-fingered gesture and followed Patty out of the school yard.

"Helga…" Phoebe sighed and slumped back in her seat.

"Oh, come on. You don't think anything would happen to Helga and Patty of all people?" Rhonda said with a snide grin.

"No, I guess not." Phoebe muttered and sighed once more.

* * *

"So, you really think Arnold's fed up with you?" Patty asked as she sipped from her beer bottle.

Helga sighed before she paid for the beers and then shook her head. "No, it must be something else. Arnold's put up with me for years now. If something finally made him sick of me, it'd be big enough for me to know what it is."

"You think he found himself a girlfriend who doesn't want him to hang out with another girl?"

"If he got a girlfriend, I'd be the first to know about it! Or maybe the second after Gerald." Helga said before chugging down half the content of her bottle. "No, it's gotta be something else… You think her parents told him to give up on me?"

"Could be." Patty said with a shrug. "But his grandparents wouldn't let them do that."

"True. Arnold's parents still feel guilty about abandoning him after all so they wouldn't rock the boat, I guess."

"I thought they left for 10 years to save an entire civilization?"

"Same shit." Helga answered crudely.

Patty snorted before giving a hearty laugh. Helga laughed along with the bigger girl before clinking her bottle against hers and then chugging down the last bit of the beer. She ordered another one, thanking her lucky stars that the police hadn't found this rat hole yet. The sleazy old man served her another beer with a wink before walking away to serve someone else. Helga shivered and tried to distract herself by chugging from the bottle again.

"Men are disgusting."

"What, you don't find a man who willingly serves teenagers beers on a school day charming?"

"Am I being picky?"

Patty snorted. "Well, given that you don't find _any_ men charming, maybe a bit."

"Hey, baby." A male voice said behind the girls and put his hand on Helga's shoulder affectionately. "Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?"

Helga glared at Patty. "Picky?" she whispered in disbelief, but Patty just smirked. "No, hot-shot"—the blonde girl twirled around in her chair, successfully knocking the guy's hand off her shoulder—"but I did scrape my knee when I crawled outta hell."

The boy clearly got pissed when he heard his friends' snickering behind him. "Didn't Titanic bang into you?" he said snidely, trying to save what little pride he had left.

"Those words are the closest you'll be to banging me." Helga hissed and pushed at the boy. "Get away from me!"

"Helga—"Patty grabbed the girl's arm—"I really don't feel like fighting tonight."

"Oh, listen to her! Sounds like she's pretty sure she can kick your ass, mate!" one of the boys said challengingly.

"The hell she can!" the guy said and pushed his sleeves up his arms, clearly getting ready for a fight.

"Hey, no fighting in here!" the bartender warned. "If anyone calls the cops on you, it'll be the skin off _your_ asses too and then you can't drink here anymore! Don't make me kick one of you out!"

"You hear the man?" Helga asked and got in the guy's face, showing no fear. "He's not gonna kick _me_ out. I'm a regular. So if you wanna get banned, try and land a punch on me."

The guy's eyes showed a clear struggle between his pride and reason. It lasted a few seconds before his reason won and he went back to his friends who immediately started bullying him for letting a girl get the last word. Helga ignored them, until one of them said that she and Patty needed to get muzzled. She then grabbed her bottle and threw it at the boys. It smashed against the wall above them and its contents trickled down the wallpaper and some of it splashed onto the boys as well.

"Crazy bitch!"

"Helga—" the bartender said in horror.

"Don't worry. I'll pay."

"You'd better!"

"Let's get outta here!" one of the boys yelled and ran out with his friends in tow.

"Remind me again why it's so wrong to hate men?" Helga asked while she sat back down next to Patty and threw a bill at the bartender who grabbed it begrudgingly.

"Because not all boys are like that."

"Sure as hell feels like it."

"You know, I prefer to hang out with the boys most of the time." Patty admitted and Helga shot her a glare. "Except for you, of course. Girls care so much about gossip and make-up and cry if you tell them the truth and shit like that. With boys, you can say whatever the hell you want and they don't judge you for it."

Helga snorted. "What do you call what happened just before then?"

"That was different. Those boys were drunk."

"That's their alibi?"

"I'm just saying, you can't hate men the rest of your life just because your dad sucked."

"It wasn't just Bob, remember?" Helga said. "It was every man my mom dated after him along with all of Olga's boyfriends. The guy she's married to now beats her up every now and then and she just keeps smiling and accepts it like the fucking idiot she is instead of kicking his ass to the curb."

"How about _you_ kicking her husband to the curb?"

"Tried to, but Olga insists he's a blessing in disguise." Helga answered and snorted again. "A very good disguise."

Patty bit on her lower lip before she took Helga's new beer away from her. "Think about it, Helga. What is the common thing between Olga's relationships and Miriam's relationships?"

Helga blinked in confusion. "That they all sucked?"

"Besides that."

"They were all with men?"

"No! Olga is the common thing and so was Miriam!"

Helga blinked again before she got threateningly close to Patty. "Are you saying that all the shit that's happened to my family is their own fault?"

"No!" Patty shouted. "It's never the victim's fault, but they don't exactly learn, do they? They still date the scum of the earth, desperately trying to save men from their pitiful lives instead of finding someone decent!"

"So you're saying that my sister and mother continuously date the scum of the earth instead of finding _all_ the decent men out there?" Helga asked sarcastically.

Patty sighed before she gave her blonde friend the beer back. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't judge men on just the men your mom and sister have dated. Arnold's always treated you nicely, hasn't he?"

"He's an exception." Helga insisted and Patty gave her a smirk. "Well, he is! He doesn't think or act like a boy at all."

"Ok, so he might be slightly more feminine than the other boys in our class, but fact is that he _is_ a boy and your misandry can't change that!"

"My _what_?"

"Misandry. You are a misandrist."

" _I'm_ a misandrist?" Helga asked in slight horror. "Oh, whoa. That's really cool; calling your friend a misandrist."

Helga pulled out her phone and started tapping on it. Patty kept her face straight while her friend looked up the word she had just been called. After reading the definition, she put the phone back in her pocket.

"You're not denying it?" Patty asked.

"Nope, I do hate men." Helga admitted bluntly and chugged down the rest of her beer.

"Look… at least _consider_ seeing a therapist about it, for your own sake. It's unhealthy." Patty insisted.

"I am not gonna go to some brain twister—"

"I know someone. She's the one who helped me." Patty interrupted.

Helga looked her friend over. She knew Patty grew up with somewhat of an identity crisis due to the fact that her parents were little people, while she wasn't. It hadn't helped that she was in fact very tall, taller than Helga even. It was in 7th grade that they told her she was adopted as well and she ended up being held back two years back due to stress. It was a psychologist named Dr. Bliss who helped Patty cope with everything and Helga had gotten respect for the woman despite having never met her herself.

"Gimme your phone." Patty said and snatched it from the blonde girl as soon as she got it out of her pocket. "At least see her once. For your own sake."

Helga didn't have it in her to argue against her friend though she had very little interest in seeing a shrink of all people. She took her phone back and saved the number just to satiate her friend though. She then clinked her bottle against Patty's bottle and ordered another beer, having already lost count of how many she'd had.

* * *

"Goodnight, everybody." Arnold said tiredly before hugging his mom as the last one.

"Goodnight, Short Man!" Phil said and neighed teasingly.

"You really shouldn't call him short." Miles insisted.

"It's not my fault he's short!" Phil argued and stuck out his tongue childishly.

Arnold just shook his head in amusement before heading upstairs. He gave a sigh once he was safely in his own room. Phoebe had told him Helga had gone with Patty to that Bon-Bon place where they served alcohol to teenagers. He had honestly considered calling the police and tell them about the place a few times, not because he cared whether a bunch of minors were drinking, but because he was worried something would happen to Helga someday. Well, he was worried about Patty too of course, but he'd be lying if he said it was the same kind of worry. He couldn't bring himself to do it though because 1, it was none of his business and 2, Helga loved the place. In the long run, he couldn't do anything that would hurt her in any way.

Arnold threw his shirt off along with his jeans and went towards his bed, but stopped when his eyes caught sight of a framed picture on his desk. It was a picture of him and Helga back in 6th grade. Arnold couldn't help but give a bit of a dreamy sigh as he grabbed the picture and looked at it. Helga was resting her arms on his head, grinning from ear to ear while he was smiling goofily, trying to look up at her. Helga didn't smile very often so for him to have a picture with an honest smile on her face was basically a rare treasure.

A harsh knock against glass caught Arnold's ears. He looked around in confusion before he finally did the logical thing and looked up towards his skylight. Above him was a girl with her blonde hair wet due to the rain. She had a big, childlike grin on her face, much like the one in the framed photo, and she was holding her palms against the glass. Arnold could feel his heartrate speed up at the sight of the familiar girl. It felt like forever since he had seen her last, but it was only this morning. He was just so relieved to see that she was ok.

Helga moved her hands out, silently asking him why he wasn't letting her in. Arnold put the picture back and jumped onto his bed to open the skylight. The rain started trickling on his face while Helga threw her backpack onto his bed and then jumped into his arms. They fell onto the bed, Helga laughing and Arnold already blushing as he felt her wet clothes on him.

"Took you long enough!" Helga declared with the wide grin still on her face before she rolled off him and unzipped her backpack.

Arnold sniffed the air. "You're drunk." He stated when he detected the smell of beer.

"Yeah, why aren't you?" Helga asked sarcastically and turned around, showing several bottles of beer in her hands.

"Because you've been at Bon-Bon and I haven't." Arnold stated matter-of-factly. He could see that Helga wasn't very drunk though. She had a pretty big tolerance for it while he didn't. "I'm guessing you still want to drink?"

"Bingo! And I wanna do it with my best drinking buddy!" Helga insisted and pushed a bottle at Arnold's chest, which he accepted without question.

Arnold couldn't help but feel his heart swell at her words. It was a strange and bittersweet feeling being called her best buddy. It hurt because she didn't like him the same way, but it felt amazing because he was still someone important to her.

"Bottom's up!" Helga declared, clinked her bottle against his and let its contents travel down her throat.

Arnold had a hard time tearing his eyes away from her. The sight of her throat bopping whenever she swallowed did things to his body he didn't want to admit. When the bottle left her lips he quickly lifted his own bottle to his mouth. The taste hit him like a knock-out punch and he started coughing.

"You're never gonna get used to the taste, are you?" Helga laughed.

"Probably not." Arnold answered. _Yet, I'm still drinking it,_ he thought as he tried drinking it again.

Arnold didn't like alcohol. He didn't like feeling drunk and he didn't like the kind of parties most teenagers went to. But if Helga brought alcohol over, which she did occasionally whenever she was angry, sad or bored, he just couldn't say no to her. He couldn't deny anything she wanted and it scared him how much of a pushover he was around her. He could say no to anyone else but her.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

Arnold choked on the beer, but not due to the taste this time around. "What?" he asked before he coughed again. Helga started patting his back harshly and even that made him feel a little warmer on his cheeks.

"You have." The girl insisted once Arnold's coughing fit had stopped. "I asked if I could stay over yesterday, but you said no. You never say no."

"I—I had to." Arnold lied.

"Yeah, I know, but your excuse made no sense."

Arnold had said no to Helga when she asked him if she could sleep over yesterday. It was the first and only time he had ever denied her anything his entire life. He just couldn't handle yet another sleepless night of trying to ignore her sleeping right next to him as if they were still kids and there was no difference between sleeping with her or one of his guy friends. It _was_ different, but he couldn't tell her that. She trusted him too much or rather, she didn't see him as a threat at all. Not that Arnold ever would or could hurt her in any way. It was a compliment that he was the only boy she trusted at all, but she trusted him too much sometimes.

Helga lifted Arnold's bottle up to his mouth and tipped his head backwards, forcing him to drink from the beer. He gasped in surprise and almost choked on the beer once again. He pushed her hand away, holding it away from him as he coughed again. He glared at her as hatefully as he could, but she was laughing so heartily that his anger subsided immediately. He wiped his mouth before he smiled warmly.

* * *

It didn't take long before Arnold was thoroughly drunk. His tolerance level was way lower than Helga's so while she felt tipsy, she was 100% aware of her surroundings and could think logically. That wasn't Arnold's case. He had trouble even sitting still without swaying as if he were on a boat. He was also grinning inanely, in the way only a drunk man or man in love could, and he was both.

"You're 16, you should be able to drink more than three beers before getting like that." Helga insisted before Arnold giggled. "Criminy, you look dumb!"

Arnold giggled again while he started swaying from side to side. Helga shook her head in amusement.

"Your folks treating you well?"

"Huh?"

"I mean…" Helga said and then scratched her head awkwardly. She wasn't very good at showing her more caring side. "Are you bonding or whatever?"

"Yeah," Arnold said and grinned again. "they took me to Dinoland a few days ago."

Helga smiled. "That's good."

Arnold smiled back before his head fell down on her shoulder. "You really are sweet, Helga…"

" _Sweet_?!" the girl repeated in shock, thanking her lucky stars she hadn't been in the middle of drinking because she would have spit it out right then. "You're the first person who's ever called me that!"

"But you are! You really are." Arnold insisted and nudged his nose into Helga's neck.

"That tickles, you dumbass!" Helga giggled and tried to get away, but she ended up falling down on the bed with Arnold on top of her instead. "You're heavy!"

"You are so sweet…"

Helga groaned, realizing Arnold was beyond comprehending anything but the intoxicated sky he was floating on. She rolled him off her and placed him gently on the bed next to her. She plopped down next to him, looking at him as he struggled to keep his eyes open. She told him to go to sleep, but he wasn't done talking it seemed.

"I like hanging out with you, Helga…" Arnold said with a dreamy smile on his face before he hiccupped.

"Yeah, yeah…" Helga answered and closed her eyes, feeling the need to sleep wash over her as well. She had been drinking for quite a long time after all. She was barely listening to Arnold's drunken blabber at this point.

"I like you, Helga… Really like you…" Arnold whispered in such a low voice that only someone close to him would be able to hear it. "I'm in… love with you…"

If someone had been watching the two blondes, they would have thought they were both asleep by now. But only a second after Arnold's accidental love confession, Helga's eyes sprung wide open, showing a mix of absolute disgust and total horror.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: – Insert stock horror noise here –**

 **Yeah, we're off to a great star! As you can see, I'm experimenting with Arnold being in love with Helga and her not exactly feeling the same way in this one. The details of her hatred towards men will be specified more through the story, but I just want to say right now that this is not a femi-nazi story and shouldn't be interpreted as such. Helga has simply gone through some things from a very young age that has unfortunately twisted her view on men, but we all know Arnold will fix that! OwO**

 **This story will probably be a bit more angst-filled than most of my stories, but I've never been much for the gut-wrenching kind of angst so if that's not your thing either then don't worry! There'll be a good amount of sadness, anger and frustration, but the fluff and sweet moments will make up for it! Cx**

 **As always, if you're inspired to do some fanart for this, you're more than welcome to and I'd love to see it or maybe even use it as the cover for the story with your permission! :D**


	2. Miracles aren't real

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After telling his guy friends once more that he couldn't possibly tell Helga how he felt, Arnold decided to stick to his original plan of loving his best friend in secret. The girl herself was nowhere aware of his feelings, believing he was angry with her and that was why he hadn't let her sleep over the prior night.**_

 _ **While talking to Patty, Helga was given a visit card to a psychologist by her. Patty insisted living with her hatred for men the rest of her life would only harm her in the long run, but Helga had no intention of calling her though she kept the number to satisfy her friend.**_

 _ **Despite saying no the first time around, Arnold let Helga enter his room and started drinking with her. Something that would end in him running his mouth and saying things he, that very day, had insisted he never would.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Wow, I didn't expect such a warm welcome back when I uploaded the first chapter. You guys are the best! OwO**

 **There's a few things I have to point out though… I really love when people interpret things the way they want to and make theories, but please don't jump the gun or ignore what I, or any author, say about their story, ok? First of all,** _ **no**_ **, Helga does not have a drinking problem just because she went out to play hooky one day when she was pissed and a bit hurt because of Arnold. That doesn't make someone an alcoholic (believe me, I grew up with an alcoholic parent so I know what it really means) and I didn't specify in the story how often Helga gets pissed and goes to drink with Arnold to deal with it so please don't just assume I'm saying she has an alcohol problem in the story, ok? Also, she didn't get him purposely drunk just so she could stay over… She just wanted to hang out and drink with her friend. Not everything has to have some deeper meaning and people don't have to have ulterior motives all the time.**

 **Also,** _ **no**_ **, Helga does** _ **not**_ **have romantic feelings for Arnold at this point. Yes, she cares for him more than she knows, but it is** _ **not**_ **romantic in any shape or form. I understand some people might not like that, but it's a fact in this story so don't misinterpret it just because you don't like it or can't handle it. It's rude towards the author, ok? Thank you :)**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 2: "Miracles aren't real"

"Oh, god…" Arnold said and put his hand to his head, feeling it throb against his palms. "Did Helga visit last night…?"

Arnold sat up, only to fall straight back on the bed. Yes, Helga must have visited last night because this was definitely a hangover. He tried remembering what had happened last night, but all he could remember was his dream before he woke up. He had told Helga he was in love with her while they were on the bed. He often had dreams of him confessing his love, but it was usually done in a much more dramatic way. It often included roses, pink, heart-shaped balloons and a band playing some cheesy, love song in the background. This was the first time he had imagined saying it so randomly.

Arnold decided he didn't want to spend his Saturday in bed so he forced himself out and went slowly and groggily downstairs.

"Good morning—"

"Not so loud!" Arnold begged and put his hands over his ears.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Stella whispered and closed her book gently. She giggled for a moment. "Grandpa mentioned that he saw Helga last night."

"When will I learn?" Arnold said jokingly and gave a lazy laugh. Stella cooed affectionately and kissed his forehead. "Where is grandpa?"

"In the kitchen with your dad." Stella answered, still with a very quiet voice and opened her book again.

"Thanks." Arnold said and headed towards the kitchen.

"Good morning, Short man!" Phil said loudly and Arnold visibly cringed. "You look like hell! Helga forcing beers down your mouth again?"

"She's not forcing me." Arnold insisted and sat down on a nearby chair. "I really should learn not to drink so many though."

"Or say no completely. You are only 16 after all…" Miles muttered to himself, which caused Phil to glare at him.

Arnold gave a crooked smile at the exchange between his dad and granddad. Miles and Stella had behaved as guiltily as they possible could ever since they got home from San Lorenzo. They had showered him with love and gifts and almost never scolded him for doing anything wrong. If they did, Phil would joke about them leaving Arnold behind and remind them why _he_ believed they had no right to scold their son after being away for so many years. So despite having his parents back, it was still Phil and Gertie who took care of most of the parenting. Not that there was a lot of parenting left to do at this point and given that Arnold was mostly a well-behaved boy. _Mostly_. Not when Helga was involved though as his parents had noticed.

Arnold put his elbows on the kitchen counter and rested his head in his hands, wondering how much he had drank last night with Helga and when she had left. That was what puzzled him; why didn't she sleep over? Why had she decided to leave before he woke up and when? He knew she had come over just to hang out, but why not stay over? There was no way she had done it out of sudden respect.

"Did something happen between you two by the way?" Phil asked while he flipped a pancake on the pan.

Arnold looked groggily at his grandpa. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Phil said and looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "I was still awake because I had to go to the can because of grandma's raspberry tart from last night."

"Too much information, dad." Miles insisted, but gave a bit of a laugh.

"So I met Helga in the hallway when I was on my way to bed." Phil continued.

Arnold felt a sense of dread wash over him. "Did she say anything?"

"Nope, not even a goodbye _or_ a hello." Phil said with a frown. "I said hi to her and she just kept walking past me and straight out of the door! It was the weirdest thing! She's always been rude, but not like that!"

Arnold looked away, thinking as hard as he could with the hangover still looming over him. A fuzzy memory was floating around in his brain and he was desperately trying to catch it. He knew there was something he was forgetting, something very important. He remembered Helga confronting him about sleeping over, asking him about his parents… What happened after that? Arnold groaned in frustration and put both of his hands to his head, shutting his eyes tightly.

"You poor boy. Let me give you the first pancake." Miles said before catching the pancake Phil had just been in the middle of flipping from his pan.

"Hey!" Phil complained and looked at his pan sadly. "That would have been a perfect throw."

"Oh, come on, dad." Miles said with a big grin and put the pancake on a plate. "You know the boy is in love with your pancakes."

"That's true." Phil said proudly, took the plate and put it in front of Arnold. He was about to return to making pancakes when he noticed the wild expression on his grandson's face. "Are you feeling that sick? I'm starting to think it's not the beer, but the raspberry tart! You've inherited it from me, Short man!"

"What did you just say?" Arnold asked fearfully.

"Raspberry tart?" Phil suggested.

"N—No, not you, grandpa. Dad!" Arnold said and swung around in the chair, meeting Miles' confused stare. "What did you just say?"

"Um…" Miles mumbled and scratched his head thoughtfully. "The boy is in love with your—"

" _In love_ …" Arnold repeated and felt a very unwelcome memory enter his brain.

"Well, in love might be a strong word, but—Hey! Where are you going?" Phil asked when Arnold stood up from the chair and darted out of the room.

"Maybe he needed to throw up?" Miles suggested.

"Or maybe it's coming outta the other end!" Phil neighed. "You can use _my_ bathroom, Short man!"

Arnold wasn't headed towards any bathroom though. He was running up the stairs to his room, totally ignoring the dizziness and nausea it caused and jumped onto his bed. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, chose Helga's number and put it to his ear. It kept ringing until he heard a voice, that was definitely not Helga's, telling him the phone was out of reach. He tapped the number again and sent Helga a text, saying he wanted to go and throw rocks at a dumpster. It was a blatant lie of course, but it was something Helga liked to do on a lazy Saturday afternoon and he knew she didn't have any plans today.

After a few minutes, Arnold got the answer he feared. Helga wasn't interested. Helga was never not interested in hanging out with him. He tried asking her if she wanted to do something else, but the reply was the same. It didn't matter what he offered, she was not interested in hanging out with him. Even without asking her why, he knew it. The thing he thought was a dream wasn't; he had told Helga he was in love with her.

Arnold let his phone fall out of his hand and down on his bed. It felt too surreal. There was no way he had told her that, just no way. It was his worst nightmare coming true. He grabbed his phone again in total panic and called Gerald's number.

"Hey—"

"I told Helga I'm in love with her!" Arnold screamed and immediately groaned from the sound of his own loud voice.

"You _what_?!" Gerald screamed.

Arnold groaned again. "Please, Gerald. I have a hangover…"

"That explains it!" Gerald said loudly, but then sighed and lowered his voice. "Did she come over last night?"

Arnold nodded. "Yes…"

"And you two got hammered and you declared your undying affection?" Gerald asked.

Arnold was usually grateful when Gerald could figure out what he wanted to tell him without him having to say much. It was a trait he himself lacked; he needed things spelled out to him. This time though, he wished Gerald hadn't figured it out so soon because it just made it all the more real.

"So, what was her reaction?"

"She doesn't want to have anything to do with me…" Arnold answered. "I've tried inviting her to all the things she loves today, but she's not interested."

"Well… she must be surprised, right? Just give her some space and she'll probably talk to you herself."

"That's your great advice?"

"Hey, I'm not as good at this as you are."

Arnold chuckled. "Right now, I don't feel great about anything… Grandpa told me that Helga left last night and she didn't speak a word to him when he said hello."

"Ouch. That's… bad." Gerald admitted and hummed thoughtfully. "But my advice is still to give her some space. She's probably surprised and you didn't say it in a good way."

"What, you don't think drunk on my bed was a good way to tell a girl I'm in love with her?"

"Remove the drunk and it might have been the perfect opportunity." Gerald joked.

"Please don't make fun of me…" Arnold begged and fell onto his bed. "I'm realizing that I might just have ruined any chance I might have had with Helga."

"So you were holding onto a bit of hope?"

"Of course I was!" Arnold admitted and grabbed his pillow to hold it against his stomach. "How could I not…? I was the only guy Helga has ever hung out with, the only one she'd tell her secrets to or go to when she was sad. I was the exception, Gerald, and I blew it."

"Hey, you're still that guy. Helga just needs to remember that." Gerald insisted. "Want me to come over?"

"Yeah… if you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. I'll be over there in a few."

* * *

That weekend was the slowest and most painful Arnold had ever gone through. He felt his heart being torn in two difference directions. A part of him wanted the weekend to never end so he didn't have to face Helga on Monday. The other part of him wanted to see and talk to her so badly. He knew if he wanted a chance to get her back in his life, he was going to have to pour his heart out to her and beg for forgiveness. If she'd talk to him at all.

Arnold entered the school, looking for Helga immediately. He went towards her locker and saw her talking with Phoebe. She seemed tense and uncomfortable and he had a feeling it wasn't because of Phoebe she was like that.

"Helga!" Arnold called.

Helga didn't look up. She didn't have to; she knew it was Arnold's voice. He saw her speak a few words to Phoebe who had turned around to look in Arnold's direction, but looked back at Helga when she started running as fast as her long legs could carry her.

"That's odd…" Phoebe mumbled before she noticed that Arnold had approached her. "Oh, ohayoo gozaimasu, Arnold."

"Good morning, Phoebe…" Arnold answered sadly.

Phoebe looked in Helga's direction and then back at Arnold. "You wouldn't happen to know why Helga seems distracted, do you?"

Arnold flinched and looked guiltily at Phoebe. "It's my fault."

Phoebe blinked. "You told her you have feelings for her, didn't you?"

"How did you know?!" Arnold practically screamed.

"Arnold, it's quite too early for that volume." Phoebe said and nursed her ears for a moment. "Also, it's been quite obvious for years."

"Do the other girls know too?"

"I think the only one who didn't know was Helga." Phoebe answered. Arnold sighed and let his head rest against the locker belonging to the blonde girl. Phoebe patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Arnold—"

"How can I not worry?"

"Let me finish! Don't worry, Arnold. I think Helga just needs some time. She'll realize that this doesn't change anything. You've always been in love with her and she knows that now. She'll understand that you won't start treating her differently now."

"She knows I'm in love with her, not that I've always been." Arnold corrected.

"That's quite an important detail."

"Tell that to drunk Arnold."

"Drunk…? Oh, no." Phoebe said and sighed heavily. "That is _not_ a good way to tell her."

"Tell me a good one!"

"Anything would be better than drunk!" Phoebe insisted with a small frown. The two short people stared each other down for a moment before they both sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right." Arnold answered. "Gerald was right; Helga found out even though I didn't want her to… It would have been better if I had just told her honestly."

"I understand why you wanted to keep it a secret though. I'll try to talk to her for you." Phoebe said and patted his shoulder.

"Thanks, Phoebs." Arnold answered before the bell rang and they walked towards their classroom.

Arnold stopped in the doorway, looking at Helga for a moment. She was sitting at her usual desk. Of course she was, just because his whole world had turned upside down, simple facts like that wasn't going to change. Arnold was forced to walk past her and sit behind her at his own desk. She hadn't lifted her head to look at him at all, she was completely ignoring him. Arnold considered poking her shoulder, telling her he wanted to talk to her, but the teacher entered the classroom right then and he was forced to wait.

During class, Helga was scribbling intensely in one of her pink notebooks. Arnold, along with Phoebe, was one of the few people who knew that the pink notebooks were not for school notes, but for putting down her thoughts, usually in the form of a poem. Something told him he was the subject this time around and he felt equally curious and alarmed. She only ever wrote that fast if her thoughts were one big mess.

The boy was about to try to take some actual notes when the sound of a pencil hitting the floor caught his ears. A muttered _crap_ could be heard in Helga's voice and he figured the pencil near his shoe was hers. He bend forward and grabbed it just before she could. They both leaned back up and Arnold stared intensely at her, but was only met with her forehead. She quickly snatched her pencil out of his hand and turned her back to him without a word or a glance. She had acted as if he would burn her if she touched him for too long. And this was the girl who had been lying next to him on his bed only a few days ago.

Once class was over, Arnold leaned forward to tell Helga he wanted to speak to her. She didn't give any indication that she had even heard him while she packed her bags. He called her name once more before she jogged out of the door, her books hanging out of her bag because she hadn't taken the time to pack it properly. Arnold had known it would be bad, but it was so much worse than he had ever imagined. He wanted to crying.

"Ok, what is with you two?" Sid asked as he and the other boys approached Arnold.

"She found out…"

"What?!" the boys bellowed, all except for Gerald.

"That's great news!" Eugene said excitedly.

"Great news?!" Sid repeated. "It's horrible!"

"Yeah, did you see the way Helga totally ignored Arnold? How is that good?" Harold asked.

"She just needs some time to think about it. Even miracles take a little time." Eugene said dreamily.

"Ok, enough with the Disney quotes!" Gerald said in annoyance.

Ever since Eugene was casted as the prince in the school's musical of Snow White, he had been quoting one Disney movie after the other. To the great annoyance of the boys and the amusement of the girls. They had made a game out of guessing which movie he was quoting even.

Gerald sighed and sat down next to Arnold. "You _have_ to talk to her."

"I'm trying!" Arnold replied. "Did you not see me trying just before?"

"And I think you should give her some space!" Eugene said and nodded his head resolutely.

"She's had the whole weekend. How is that not enough time?" Gerald asked.

"How _is_ it enough time?" Eugene asked before he pointed at the boys. "Imagine your best friend telling you they love you and see how you feel."

Gerald looked at Arnold while Sid, Stinky and Harold all switched between looking at each other. They visibly cringed and looked away again.

"Ok, so it would feel a little weird—"

"A little?!" Sid repeated and hugged himself while he shook. "That was creepy as hell!"

"And that's how Helga must feel." Eugene pointed out and smiled at Arnold. "But she cares about your friendship, Arnold. She just needs some time."

Arnold gave Eugene a weak smile and nodded. "Maybe you're right… Maybe all she needs is to get used to the idea." He agreed.

But Arnold couldn't make himself believe it. He was too worried, too impatient, so it didn't take him more than a couple of hours, after school was over, before he headed to Helga's apartment. He stood outside the door, just looking it over. He could still remember the house she had lived in before Miriam had divorced Bob. It had been a nice, big house with lots of space. Now, they were living in a pretty small apartment, but with enough room for just the two of them. Most importantly, Miriam was doing a lot better. She was much happier, was taking better care of her daughter and had stopped drinking. There was no need for the foggy mind when there was no pain you were trying to forget.

Arnold took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He knew Helga would be home alone since Miriam had late shifts on Mondays. He could talk with her privately now or so he hoped. When he heard footsteps, he took another deep breath. When the door opened, Helga was in the middle of saying something to him about her not wanting to buy anything, but she stopped talking when she saw who had knocked on her door. She stared at him for a few seconds before she tried to close the door. Arnold had foreseen it though and quickly put his foot between the doorframe and the door.

"Helga, please!" Arnold begged and put his hand on the door to try to push it.

"I do _not_ want to talk to you!" Helga hissed, struggling to close the door. She and Arnold were very similar in strength though so it was a useless fight.

"But we _have_ to talk! At least hear me out!" Arnold begged.

Helga stopped struggling and resorted to glaring at the boy in front of her. He was pleading with her, she could see that and he could be very stubborn. Perhaps not as much as her, but enough to decide to stay outside her door until she let him talk to her.

"Fine. I'll hear you out then _throw_ you out." Helga said before she opened the door and stepped to the side. Arnold stumbled inside, clashing into the wall. He groaned a bit from the pain, but said nothing while Helga closed the door and then glared at him again. "Talk."

Now that Arnold was finally allowed to speak, he wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't just improvise this, he had to think before he spoke and he wasn't very good at that. He was better at passionate, inspiring speeches that came straight from the heart, but Helga wouldn't react positively to that. She needed logic, facts and a lot of begging on the knees.

"I…" Arnold started lamely, feeling even smaller under the scrutinizing eyes of his best friend. "I'm sorry."

Helga didn't say anything and that confused Arnold. "I assume you came to say more?" she asked angrily.

"Of course! I… I just can't think when you're scowling at me like that." Arnold insisted.

Helga sighed and then turned her back to him. "Better?"

 _Not a lot_ , Arnold thought sadly, but took a deep breath and forced himself to talk. "I'm sorry, Helga… I didn't mean to feel this way about you. If I could stop, I would. I didn't plan to ever tell you either because I didn't want you to feel hurt or angry or… threatened. I… _care_ about you, Helga, much more than you know. That's why I never told you! I don't want to lose you. I care too much about you. So please… just forget what I said while _drunk_! I don't expect you to like it, but just… can we just forget it? Can we pretend like this never happened? Please?"

The silence was deafening. When Helga finally spoke, it wasn't the words Arnold had hoped for. Not that he really believed she would turn around, smile at him and tell him that it didn't matter to her. He didn't believe she could just ignore something like this or that they could go back to the way they were, but he had hoped.

"Are you done?" Helga whispered.

"That depends…" Arnold admitted. "Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive—" Helga repeated in shock and turned around to glare at Arnold, but it wasn't the glare that made him take a step back. It was the tears. "Do you have any idea how this feels?! I feel _so_ betrayed! You were the exception, Arnold, the one boy who was supposed to be different! I feel so stupid for thinking that! You're not different at all!"

"No, Helga!" Arnold said and went to grab her shoulders. "I _am_ different! I've never done anything to you, have I?"

"Let go!" Helga screamed and pushed Arnold's arms away from her. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me…"

Helga was shivering at this point while hugging herself. Her eyes were shut tightly and her head was tilted downwards. She bend her knees and squatted on the floor, hiding her face from the world. Arnold sat down on his knees in front of her, gulping. He knew he had to phrase this right if he wanted her to believe him.

"Helga…" he said softly to gain her attention. "I… I am _not_ your dad."

Helga's shivering stopped, but she still refused to look at him.

"And I'm not any of Olga's boyfriends either… I am _not_ gonna hurt you, ever. Not for any reason… I'm not going to ignore you, yell at you, make you feel like you're not good enough or anything that could possibly hurt you… I am _not_ those men and you are _not_ your mother or sister."

Helga moved her face up, but her eyes were still directed at the floor. "Why should I be different…?" she questioned. "Why should it be any different for me? There's an effing curse on the Pataki women."

"You don't believe that—"

"That doesn't matter!" Helga screamed. "My mom who was so smart and could have taken the world by storm… reduced to a drunk housewife and my sister… my perfect sister with straight As in everything she did is getting beaten up every day by her piece of shit husband… Why should it go different for me?"

"Because you are _not_ them, Helga!" Arnold said and put his hands on her shoulder experimentally. When she didn't shake him off, he started speaking. "Not only are you your own person, you are totally different from them. You're self-assured, you're confident, you don't take lip form anyone and… and I'm sorry, Helga, but you're smarter."

"Smarter?"

"Yes!"

"How am I smarter?" Helga asked bitterly and glared at Arnold. He knew what she was trying to say and he couldn't help but get angry this time around.

"Helga, I am _not_ like your dad just because I'm a guy too." he said sternly.

Helga looked at Arnold and he recognized the look; she was confused. She felt frustrated because her brain and her heart were saying two different things. She _knew_ Arnold was different, it was only logical, but those painful memories were twisting her sense of reason and she couldn't think straight. She hid her face again.

"I just… can't."

"Can't what?" Arnold asked dreadfully, but Helga just shook her head. "Helga!"

"I just…" Helga muttered again, but she seemed to change her mind. "I just need time."

"Time? For what? Will you forgive me if I just leave you alone for some time?"

"I don't know."

"But—"

"I don't know, ok?!" Helga shouted and stood up from the floor. "I just… I just can't deal with this."

With those finishing words, Helga left Arnold alone in the hallway and entered her room. She closed the door after her, not harshly, but not softly either. Arnold stared at the door longingly, but decided against knocking on it. With heavy steps, he walked towards the front door. He looked one last time at Helga's room before he closed the door behind him and left the apartment complex.

Arnold stopped outside of the building though when he heard a heartbreaking sound. He walked around the corner and noticed an open window. He knew it led into Helga's room; he had climbed through it more times than he could count whenever they'd meet up in secret in the middle of the night just to talk about the future as if they had a clue. Usually, music would be pouring out of the window. Some kind of rock or punk, anything Helga could go crazy to. This time, Arnold only heard crying. And it was so painful to know that he was the cause of it.

Arnold wasn't sure how long it took him before he got home, only that it had started raining in the meantime. The irony of metonymy. When he entered his home, he could hear his family starting to fuss around him. He assumed he must have been soaked through because blankets were wrapped around him and he was placed on the couch with a cup of cocoa in his hand. He didn't speak a word, he barely noticed what was going on around him. Even when Phil jokingly smacked him on his head, he didn't react. He felt his mother wrap her arms around him, whispering words of concern to him, but he didn't hear what she said. He didn't see or hear anything.

It wasn't until he felt tears running down his cheeks that Arnold realized what had just happened. Helga had rejected him. He knew. He had known all along so why did it hurt so much? Why did it hurt so much to hear words his heart already knew? He knew she didn't love him like he loved her. He knew how disgusted, betrayed and angry she'd be, but he had still been as arrogant as to keep a bit of hope. He had hoped he meant more than anyone ever could. He knew now that his love confession hadn't been accidental. He had, on some level, known exactly what he was doing when he had uttered those sweet words to her. He had hoped so much that he had ignored reality. He hoped for a miracle. But this was the real world and miracles aren't real.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: *cough*Yes, I'm evil x]**

 **I'll tell you something else though! I don't believe I've told people here on that I have a tumblr! On my blog, by the same name, I usually post edits from my videos on YouTube, BUT I also post previews and teasers for my fanfics. I ask questions, talk about the process and from time to time, there might be a little poll for you to vote on ;D So please follow me there if you are curious, you can also do asks there and then I'll post them on my blog. Remember, tumblr gives the option to ask anonymous questions so if you're shy that's totally fine! 3**


	3. I got you

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After realizing he had accidentally told Helga he was in love with her in his drunken stupor, Arnold tried desperately to talk to Helga about it, but she avoided him. Arnold's friends still had very different advices to give, but Arnold ended up going to Helga's apartment to talk to her despite the advice of some of his friends.**_

 _ **Helga listened to Arnold this time around, but was still very angry and hurt. Arnold understood that her hatred and fear was still deeply rooted in her, but it didn't matter what he said to her; Helga wasn't able to accept his apology and asked him to leave her alone for some time.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I hate doing this again in an author's note, but I have to regard yet another reviewer.** **A guest reviewer has written a review for both chapters, but only to call Arnold a wimpy wuss.** **Nothing about those reviews are helpful, constructive criticism or gives me the sense that this person is enjoying the story. So my only advice to give you, dear guest reviewer, is to STOP reading the story. If Arnold is bothering you so much, just don't read the story. Your reviews are pointless and just plain annoying because all you're doing is calling Arnold wimpy and a wuss. Please just stop reading or at least writing reviews. It's people like you who make me not want to write and I don't want to give up on this story just because one person is being a jerk.** _ **Please.**_

 **To the rest of you, enjoy! xP**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 3: "I got you"

"This can't be a real thing…" Helga insisted while she read an article about stress-related eczema. "There's no way this is real."

Helga refused to believe it even though she was a perfect example of it right then. Since yesterday she had gotten some really bad eczema around her stomach and she was currently scratching it while trying to figure out where it had come from. Before this, the only skin problem she'd ever had was when she had eaten the occasional accidental strawberry and had gotten hives. This was totally different though. The internet, along with several articles, claimed that it was possible to get a rash from sudden stress. She didn't want to believe she was so weak-minded, but she could only think of one thing that could be the cause of it: Arnold.

Helga frowned at the name. She looked at the framed picture she had on her desk. It was one of her and Arnold, a picture he had on his own desk as well. The glass was shattered because she had thrown it against a wall a few days ago. She had done her best to save the picture later on, but the frame was totally broken. She wasn't even sure why she had tried to save it to begin with; she was still angry with the boy, more than she had ever been. Not that Arnold usually pissed her off. Now that she thought about it, he had always followed her on whatever whim she got without questioning it or complaining.

Helga sighed. "Now, I just feel worse…" she admitted to herself. She looked around her room for a moment, just to make sure no one had heard her.

"Baby sister!"

Helga visibly cringed at the familiar voice. Reluctantly, she got up from her chair and walked out of her room to greet her big sister. Miriam had told her she and her husband would join them for dinner tonight, but no amount of time could ever prepare Helga for spending long periods of time with her sister. She loved her, God knows why, but she was still the most cringeworthy person she had ever met.

"Hey, sis. How are—"

Helga stopped talking when she saw her sister in the hallway. She had one leg wrapped in a huge cast and needed crutches to keep herself steady. It took only Helga a second to put two and two together and she ran straight towards Olga's husband, ready to throw a fist at him. Olga knew her sister well though and grabbed her arm just before she could punch the man who immediately stepped backwards and out of her reach, a look of utter fear on his face.

"I'll kill you!" Helga screamed. "What did you do to Olga, you—"

"Helga, baby sister, please!" Olga pleaded. "Let me explain!"

"There's no way you can deny _that_ , Olga!" Helga said, ripped her arm out of Olga's grip and pointed at the cast. "Your leg is _broken_ and I bet this asshole is the reason why!"

"Calm down and listen!" Olga said with tears in her eyes.

Helga crossed her arms, mostly so she could literally hold her arms down. "I'm listening."

"Are you calm?"

"I'm listening."

Olga gave a bit of a sigh. "Can we go into your room?"

"What? You can't talk in front of your _husband_?" Helga cringed at the word and shot a glare at the man who looked away, an oddly guilty look on his face. That confused Helga enough to agree going back into her room with Olga. She helped her sister sit down on the bed and then sat down herself on her roll-chair. "What the hell was that look?"

"He feels so guilty, Helga."

"So it _was_ him—"

"Helga, that's not listening!" Olga interrupted with a childish pout on her face. Helga crossed her arms again, deciding to hold her tongue. "Yes, Robert is to blame for the cast."

Helga's blue eyes widened. "You're admitting it?"

Olga nodded. "I realize now how much in denial I truly was… I thought it was my fault that Robert was so angry all the time. I finally stood up to him and… he pushed me down the stairs."

Helga curled her hands into two fists, but she held her tongue like promised.

"The next thing I remember is waking up at the hospital. I had hit my head and fainted, but my leg was what had taken the worst of the fall… Robert was sitting next to me and… he was crying." Olga continued and tears filled her eyes. "He had been crying ever since he realized how much he hurt me this time, Helga. And I was passed out for at least an hour! He felt so bad. I've never seen him like that before. I think he… I think he really, _truly_ understood how much he hurt me then."

"That doesn't make up for the bruises before that." Helga asserted.

"No, it doesn't. Which is why Robert offered me divorce." Olga admitted. "He said he'd give me as much as I wanted in alimony and everything."

"Then why didn't you—"

"Because I love him, Helga." Olga interrupted resolutely. "He might not deserve it after all he's done and he might not love me the way I love him, but he _does_ love me and he's so much better at showing it now. He's been so gentle, sweet and caring ever since this happened. He helps me with everything without any complaints and he's been going to a psychologist and he is taking anger management classes and… and he really has changed."

Helga didn't know what to say at this point. She looked away from her sister, considering her words. Change? Was that really even possible? Did people change? _Could_ they?

"What if he hasn't changed?" Helga muttered. "What if… What if he goes back to the way he was before? What if he continues to be so… angry?"

Olga stayed quiet for a moment, giving herself time to think about her sister's question. "Well… then I'll put him in his place again."

"I'm serious, Olga!"

"So am I." the older blonde girl stated simply. "I'm not as naïve as I was when you were a child, Helga."

"You could have fooled me."

"I make mistakes and I trust people I maybe shouldn't… but I'm learning. I now understand that not everyone can change and not everyone wants to… but I see now that Robert is one of the exceptions."

Helga blinked. "The exception?"

"There are others like Robert who really do want to change, not just for themselves, but for the person they love… and I'm honored to be the person that has made Robert see the error of his ways." Olga said with a gentle smile. "Not everyone can be saved and not everyone deserves to, but I really believe that Robert is changing."

Helga felt an odd sensation run through her. It was guilt mixed with hope and confusion. Something was tugging at her heartstrings and that didn't happen very often. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt warm inside. Her sister took her hands and kissed them gently while she told her she loved her and hoped she could forgive Robert. Helga didn't get to answer before Miriam had knocked on the door, declaring that dinner was ready.

While Helga was having dinner with her family, she watched every single one of Robert's moves. Everything from him cutting Olga's food, pouring water in her glass and helping her to the bathroom when they were done eating. He was being totally overprotective and fuzzy, but it was a side Helga had never seen of him. Every time she had met him, he had been oozing of what she had believed he was; a cruel, selfish monster who got a kick out of hurting her sister. This was not the man she'd had nightmares about killing her sister. This was a sweet, considerate powder puff. And Helga hadn't seen her sister so happy in years.

When dinner was over and Olga and Robert had gone home, Helga laid down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her mind was running wild and yet it felt empty. She looked towards her desk. More specifically, at the picture of her and Arnold. It was broken, but she had tried to fix it. She _wanted_ to fix it; she just didn't know how. Then she sat up and took her phone from the nightstand. After looking through her numbers for a moment, she found the number Patty had added on her phone last week. The number to a psychologist.

* * *

"So, how was it, Helga?" Patty asked which the girl in question had hoped she wouldn't.

"It was… weird." Helga confessed. "But I'm trying."

Patty put her arm over Helga's shoulders. "Well, I'm proud of you." She said with a big grin. "Still bugs me why you won't say what changed your mind though."

"It's not really anyone's business." Helga replied curtly and looked away. "I might tell you someday, but… right now I really just need to… try and figure out what I want to do… or what I _can_ do."

Patty smirked. "Does this have anything to do with Arnold?"

Helga froze in her tracks, which caused Patty's arm to roll off her shoulders. "Why are you saying that?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Patty said a bit sadly. "Since last week you two haven't talked to each other so I guess the boy finally got some balls and told you how he feels."

"How did—Why do you—Did you _know_ all along?" Helga asked and when Patty nodded, she got angry. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Wasn't really my secret to tell." Patty said matter-of-factly and crossed her arms. Helga tried to argue against her, but she couldn't. "So, what did he say exactly?"

Helga scratched her neck. She didn't want to talk about it. She hadn't even talked to Phoebe about it, except that Phoebe had tried to get her to make up with Arnold. As far as Helga knew, Phoebe didn't know why she was angry with Arnold.

"He told me he was in love with me." Helga spoke the words as quickly and lowly as she could, but Patty still picked up on them.

Patty whistled. "Way to go, Arnold. Very bold. He could have stuck with just saying he had a crush, but I guess he decided to go all the way."

"He was drunk."

Patty blinked a couple of times before she smacked her forehead. "That idiot… but I'm guessing that's your fault." She declared. "Well, have you thought about it?"

"Thought about what?" Helga asked with her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"You've gotta be kidding me.'

"What?!"

"Did you even consider maybe, I don't know, giving him a chance?"

"To what?!"

"To let him try to make you fall in love with him! Or at least help you get over your fear of men."

"I am not _afraid_."

"Holding people away from you and denying yourself love, that doesn't make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you're doing it out of fear." Patty spoke formally. Helga gave her a quizzical stare. "Sara Dessen."

"Do you have a famous quote for everything?" Helga asked sarcastically and sighed. "Anyways, I _am_ trying. Why do you think I'm going to a psychologist?"

"But what are you trying to do exactly?"

"I don't know… I'm trying to find out if… I can feel differently about this." Helga confessed and ran her hand up and down her arm. She wasn't cold; she just felt awkward. It was bad enough having to pour your heart out to a stranger, she didn't want to do it to her friend too.

Patty smiled, put her arm over Helga's shoulders again and made her walk with her. "I'm proud of you."

"You already said that."

"But now I'm even prouder!"

The girls laughed together and Helga decided to tell Phoebe the truth as well when she got the chance. She was her best friend after all, she deserved to know. Right now though, she was on her way to acting class which she was mostly part of for the extra credit, but she also liked acting. That, and Arnold wanted to take the class as well for the extra credit. She still remembered the day they had gone through their options and finally decided on acting class because it had seemed like the most fun and casual. Their teacher was very passionate though so sometimes the classes would last way longer than they should.

Zandra had just given the class a dramatic performance of a famous scene before she declared it was their turn to be on the small, home-made stage. "I'm gonna ask a couple of you to come up here and do a little exercise. I want you to apologize to someone you have wronged."

"That's a little personal, isn't it?" a girl next to Helga asked her.

Helga wasn't listening though. She looked in Arnold's direction. She hadn't been expecting him to be looking at her as well though and she quickly looked away again. This time though, she noticed she wasn't looking away in anger, but in embarrassment. She had reached the point where she knew she had treated Arnold unfairly. He couldn't help how he felt, the same way she couldn't help how she felt. She had just never had to apologize to Arnold for anything so she didn't even know where to start.

"How about you, Helga?" Zandra asked and pointed at the blonde girl.

Helga looked up in shock. "Oh, no. I—I'd really rather not."

"There's no such thing in the acting world! Come up here!" Zandra said sternly, her former chipper attitude completely gone.

Helga knew better than to argue against Zandra of all people so she got up from her seat, walked past her peers and got up on the stage. She stood there awkwardly, but it was clear that Zandra was expecting her to just begin. Helga didn't have stage fright, but she preferred to have a script rather than improvise.

"Come on, apologize." Zandra said. Helga started stuttering unsurely. "Apologize to someone that you've treated unfairly. Just think about the pain you've caused, and tell that person you're sorry."

Helga felt an incredible sense of discomfort from those words. "I'm sorry…" she started and felt her breath hitch in her throat. She gave a small cough and then looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry that I'm so… difficult to deal with. I'm sorry that… I got so angry with you when you didn't deserve it… You… I, uh…"

"Go on, Helga. You're doing great." Zandra encouraged.

"You didn't deserve my anger… I'm not angry at you, I'm… angry at myself… for being so… stupid and… selfish, childish and… bigoted." Helga said as confidently as she could, but the knot in her throat only got bigger the more she talked. "I know you're not at fault even though I've never said it. I know I'm the idiot here and I'm even more an idiot because I just can't tell you without hiding behind something. You've always got my back even if I… I—I can't tell you how much I've… how much I want…"

Helga looked at Zandra and shook her head desperately. Zandra approached her, took her cheeks in her hands and praised her. After Zandra had let go, Helga jogged back down to her seat as if it was a secret haven where no one could see her and where everyone would forget the words she had just spoken. Patty caressed the blonde girl's back soothingly without sparing her a glance. There was no reason to say or do any more than she already was.

Eugene looked away from Helga and nudged at Arnold. "You _do_ understand she was talking about you, right?" he asked. Arnold nodded slowly and Eugene sighed in relief. "This is so good! Maybe now you two can become friends again!"

Arnold turned around in his chair and looked in Helga's direction. She looked completely shook up. To anyone else, she might have seemed silly. Apologizing wasn't that hard, was it? To Helga it was. It gave her a sense of being weak and of giving into someone who had angered her. This was the first time Arnold had heard Helga apologize in any other tone than sarcastic, and he didn't know what to make of it.

* * *

"So you apologized to him?"

"Kind of… Not really." Helga said uncomfortably. She couldn't even bring herself to look her psychologist in the eye. This was her second meeting with her and she was more comfortable with her, but it took more than one session of talking about random things and getting to know each other before she could pour her heart out to her.

Dr. Bliss nodded. "Has Arnold said anything to you since then?"

"No… He's keeping his distance, like I asked him to." Helga answered and gave a small smile. "He's always been very obedient."

Dr. Bliss chuckled with Helga. "Do you think he understood that you were thinking of him while doing that acting exercise?"

Helga shrugged. "He's kinda dense, always has been, but… I'm pretty sure Eugene caught on and he was sitting right next to him." She replied and shrugged again. "It seems like… everyone knew how Arnold felt about me except me. I feel left out."

"You weren't exactly happy to find out though, right?"

"No…" Helga replied and sat up straight. "You know what's weird?"

"What?"

"I was… _so_ angry when I found out… I really felt like Arnold had betrayed me and I was just… I mean, I really wanted to punch the kid, I've never wanted to punch _Arnold_ before!" Helga said dramatically. "But now, I'm just sad. Now that all the anger is gone, I… miss him."

"If you miss him, why don't you go and tell him you want to forget all this ever happened?"

"I can't do that!" Helga yelled and hid her face in her hands. "I said so many nasty things to him!"

"So you're ashamed of yourself?"

"Doi!"

"Or are you afraid he won't forgive you?"

"Both!"

"Helga," Dr. Bliss said gently and closed her notebook. "I don't know Arnold personally, but based on the things you have told me about him, he seems like a very forgiving guy."

Helga scowled at the reminder. She had told Dr. Bliss about all the things she had exposed Arnold to over the years, both good and bad, but mostly bad. Arnold had always forgiven her, no matter what she had done. She knew in her heart that this was no different. If she wanted to be friends again, all she had to do was say so. But something was holding her back this time.

"Helga," Dr. Bliss said again, noticing that the blonde girl had gotten lost in thought. Helga looked up. "do you think Arnold would forgive you and be friends with you again?"

Helga nodded.

"Then why are you holding back?" Dr. Bliss asked with a soft smile. Helga looked away, looking thoughtful for a moment, but Dr. Bliss knew that Helga was already aware of her own feelings. "You don't think you deserve to be forgiven, do you?"

Helga flinched at the words. She sunk back into the couch and nodded slowly. "This is the worst I've ever done to him…"

"But is it so bad that you don't deserve a second chance?'

"That's the thing, Doc, it's _not_ my second chance. It must be, like, my thirty-eighth chance."

"Thirty-eighth or thirty-seventh, I'm sure when the number is that big, it doesn't matter anymore." Dr. Bliss pointed out gently.

Helga still seemed unsure though. "But… what do I do if he forgives me?" she asked. "I can't just ignore that he… feels that way about me, can I?"

"You _can_." Dr. Bliss drawled. "Arnold offered you to just forget it, right? So I'm sure if that's the only way you can go back to being friends with him, he would accept that. But, if I may give my honest opinion—"

"By all means." Helga answered sarcastically with a small smile on her face.

"I'm not saying you should try to develop feelings for Arnold." Dr. Bliss and chuckled when Helga got a panicked look on her face. "But I do think it means something that despite your hatred and fear of men, you are still friends with Arnold to this day. He could be the key to help you get over your misandry."

"So… what _are_ you saying? What am I supposed to say to him?"

"You are supposed to say what you _can_ and want to say." Dr. Bliss answered. "But if you could find it in your heart to give him a chance, I think that would be very healthy for you. Remember though that even under normal circumstances, a friend confessing their love for another friend is still a difficult situation. You grew up together, there's a big chance you'll never be able to see him in a romantic way even if you do get over your misandry."

"But, what? It's worth the risk? Isn't that kinda like giving him false hope?"

"Not if you talk to him honestly."

Helga groaned. "I hate talking honestly!"

Dr. Bliss giggled. "I've noticed." She said jokingly and earned a tongue pointed at her. "No need for the cheekiness, Helga. Try though. If not for your own sake then his. You care about him, right? He's the main reason you came here, right?"

Helga shrugged. "It'd also be nice not to want to punch every man I see."

"Of course." Dr. Bliss said with a smile. "But Arnold's the main reason."

Helga scowled. "Fine, yes, he's the main reason. Happy?!"

"Very!" Dr. Bliss declared jokingly and looked at her wristwatch. "And just in time for the session to end."

Helga stood up and took a deep breath. "I always feel so heavy after talking with you."

"That's quite normal after seeing a psychologist."

"I'm assuming it's only when you're on duty though?" Helga asked jokingly.

Dr. Bliss chuckled and looked out her window. "Oh, dear. It's raining."

Helga looked at the raindrops. "Ah, crap. I don't have an umbrella." She groaned. "Guess I'll have to run home."

"Be careful." Dr. Bliss said while Helga walked towards the door. "I'd lend you my umbrella, but I don't have one either since I'm in a car."

"I should really get a driver's license." Helga replied and waved at Dr. Bliss. After saying goodbye, she left the office and walked outside to meet the rain.

Helga had said she was going to run, but she didn't feel like it. Even when the cold rain hit her hair and skin, she couldn't bring herself to even jog. She walked calmly through the rain, counting the seconds so she knew how long it'd be before she was home. The weather itself wasn't too chilly, but the rain made it feel much colder.

After a minute or two, Helga was starting to shiver. She sneezed and put her hand up to her nose. It felt frozen and she was sure it was all red at this point. She stopped walking and looked up at the sky. The raindrops felt equally cleansing and mocking. Was this some sort of weird punishment? It was a pretty weak one, but it still bugged her. She closed her eyes. There wasn't a single car nearby so all she could hear was the rain. And footsteps after a while.

Something changed suddenly. Helga couldn't feel the rain on her face anymore, but she could still hear it. She opened her eyes, expecting to be met with the gray sky again, but instead she saw some dark green fabric. She stared at it for a moment, a feeling of deja-vu overwhelming her. She turned her head slowly and was met with a smiling face.

"Deja-vu, right?" Arnold asked and gave a clumsy laugh.

Helga kept staring at him. She wasn't sure how to react or how to feel. She had just spent the majority of the last hour scrutinizing her feelings about their situation and then, there he was, holding an umbrella over her head to shield her from the rain. He was getting wet himself doing so. Arnold's smile faded and Helga could see he thought she'd prefer he'd leave her alone. He was about to move the umbrella away from her and presumably walk away, but she grabbed the handle of the umbrella to stop him.

"Yeah." Helga answered without looking at him. "You did the same thing at the first day of preschool."

The corner of Arnold's mouth twitched at the memory. "You were all muddy and wet."

Helga chuckled. "I'd had the worst morning of my life… and then there you were." She reminisced and looked up at him. "Why are you doing this?"

For a moment, Arnold wasn't sure what Helga was talking about, but then he remembered their acting class and smiled at her. "Because… I'll always have your back. Even if you hate me." he answered as emotionless as he could, not wanting to scare her away with too much love in his voice.

Helga's eyes widened at the words and she kept staring at him. She didn't know what to say or do, not that she knew before either. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She looked up at the umbrella, noticing its color and then she looked at Arnold's eyes. She just noticed that they matched in color. It was even the same umbrella he'd had since he was a kid. How had it not broken? There had been plenty of storms over the years so what was keeping it together? Sheer determination and love?

"Can I walk you home?" Arnold asked softly.

Helga nodded without thinking much before-hand. She let go of the handle and let him hold it above the both of them as they walked. Once or twice, she felt the stick poke her head and she was about to get annoyed and tell him to knock it off. When she turned to look at him though, she noticed that his left shoulder, the shoulder far away from her, was getting wet. She looked at her own shoulder which was wet from before, but wasn't getting rained on now. With a secretive smile, she moved her hand up to the umbrella and pushed it a bit to the left to cover Arnold with the umbrella as well.

"Helga?" Arnold asked softly and she looked at him on shock. "Sorry, did you get lost in thought?"

"I… I, um, R—Robert's stopped beating Olga."

Arnold stared at Helga in shock. "Um—"

"Criminy, what's wrong with me?" Helga mumbled and smacked her own face.

Arnold chuckled. "That's good though… What happened?" he asked, ignoring the temptation to tease her.

Helga let her hands fall back to her hip. "He hurt her really badly… and realized he would lose her if he didn't change." She answered.

"Oh…" Arnold said and looked ahead. "I guess, sometimes you've got to lose something before you appreciate it, huh?"

Helga stopped walking at those words. Arnold stopped in surprise and quickly held the umbrella over her head as if the rain was acid. She looked up at him, watching him getting drenched while protecting her. He was looking worriedly at her, silently asking her why she had stopped walking.

"I don't… hate you." Helga whispered.

"What?" Arnold asked and stepped closer. "I didn't hear you."

"I don't hate you." Helga repeated a little louder. She could feel Arnold's big eyes watching her in wonder even though she wasn't looking at him anymore. "Aren't you gonna ask what I'm doing here?"

Arnold still couldn't get over those simple words. He felt so relieved that she didn't hate him, but he asked her anyway. He had been wondering what she had been doing there since she lived in the other side of town. He himself was there because he was working at Bigal's café, but she had no business in this side of town. He didn't want to ask her if it was personal though. They weren't exactly talking at the moment after all. He had taken a chance just approaching her after all.

"I was at Hillwood Medical Center."

Arnold almost dropped the umbrella at that answer. "What… were you doing there?"

"Talking to a shrink." Helga answered and looked away. "Her name is Dr. Bliss. She's… the same woman Patty talked to. She recommended her to me."

Arnold almost sighed in relief when he understood that she wasn't sick. He didn't know what to say, but he wanted to say so much. Why was she seeing a shrink? For how long had she been talking to someone like that? What was she talking about? Her dad? Miriam and Olga? Him?

"It's my second time seeing her. I called her after Olga and Robert came to have dinner with me and mom." Helga explained. "I realized that if an asshole like Robert can change so can I."

"Change?" Arnold repeated and Helga looked up at him. "Helga, you have to spell it out for me."

"Because you're a moron."

"I know."

"I've been talking to her about my dad, Miriam and Olga's boyfriends… You… and men in general." Helga answered. "I want to change, Arnold. I don't want to be so angry all the time. I don't want my reaction to be anger when a guy tells me he likes me."

Arnold could feel his arm shaking and he let the umbrella fall down a little bit so it was only a few inches above their heads. "Helga, I still don't understand what you're saying to me."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Helga shouted in frustration. "I'm gonna try, ok?!"

"Try what?" he asked in desperation.

"I don't know!" Helga answered. "I'm just… gonna try, that's all!"

Arnold frowned at Helga in defeat.

"I don't want to lose you." Helga declared. "So I'm gonna try and see if… if I can change. I don't know what to call us after all this. We're not friends, but I can't see you as my b… b—boy… I can't see you like that just yet, ok? But I don't want to lose you so—"

Arnold dropped the umbrella to the ground and threw his arms around Helga in a tight hug. She gave a surprised gasp, but she didn't move away. It wasn't uncommon for Arnold to give her sudden hugs and it wasn't uncommon for her to push him playfully away. This time though, she let him hug her.

"Thank God…" Arnold whispered in Helga's wet hair. "I really thought I'd lost you… I thought you'd never want to see me again."

Helga huffed. "It takes more than that to get rid of me, Football Head."

Arnold chuckled happily at the nickname.

"I'm getting wet, moron!"

"Sorry!" Arnold gasped, grabbed the umbrella and held it above them again.

They looked at each other for a moment before they started laughing. The anger, the frustration and the fear were all let out through their laughter and Helga didn't feel as heavy anymore. A huge load was taken off both of their shoulders and they smiled at each other.

"Can we please run home?" Helga asked and sniffed.

"Sure." Arnold said and turned around and started running down the street with Helga, still laughing from the adrenaline. Helga slipped and almost fell, but Arnold managed to wrap his arm under hers and keep her steady. "I got you."

"I know." Helga answered with a smile and kept running with her arms still wrapped around Arnold's.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Anyone recognizing the drama teacher's name and her exercise? It's taken directly from an episode of Will & Grace where Will goes with Jack to one of his acting classes where a woman named Zandra is the teacher. My Zandra is less… bitchy though x'D**

 **Also, I think Olga's words have already stated my opinion on this matter, but I just want to say clearly that NO, I do NOT believe that everyone can change. If you're in an abusive relationship, get the hell out! It's** _ **not**_ **your fault if your partner is abusive, it never is and most of the time, people just don't change.**

 **Sometimes, a few times, they do though and I wanted this to be an important lesson to Helga. I felt like she needed to experience something big in order to motivate her to go and see Dr. Bliss and this was what felt the most natural. Also, we may find Olga annoying, but she doesn't deserve to be in an abusive relationships :P**

 **Oh, and Robert's name is directly inspired from Big Bob's real name. I wanted to name him after Bob's voice actor, but he's called Maurice and… I can only think of Belle's dad when I hear that so I couldn't bring myself to name him that x'D**


	4. I'm special?

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **Helga was still consumed with Arnold's confession when she found out her sister had broken her leg because of her abusive husband. The sisters had a talk and Helga realized that despite everything, it seemed like the accident had led Olga's husband to realize that he would seriously hurt her one day if he didn't change. Helga wasn't sure what to believe, but seeing Robert being so kind to Olga made her wonder if she could change herself.**_

 _ **During acting class, Helga was told to apologize to someone she had wronged and she apologized to Arnold in a way even he noticed. It made him wonder if there was a chance he could become her friend again and when he met her a few days later, he protected her from the rain. The blondes talked everything through and Helga admitted that she had started seeing a psychologist so she could get rid of all the anger and maybe, just maybe, give him a chance.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Sorry this one took so long! I suddenly had things to do. I know, crazy, right? X'D Enjoy!**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 4: "I'm special?"

Arnold couldn't remember the last time he had looked forward to a school day. It felt like ages ago, but really, it was only a couple of weeks. He couldn't wait to see Helga again, talk to her and just be normal. He hoped they could be normal at least. He entered the classroom and looked around for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. He almost felt sad before he felt something slap his back harshly. He gasped in shock and turned to be met with a grinning Helga.

"Morning, Football Head."

Arnold smiled while he watched Helga walk to her seat. "Good morning." He said in amusement and went to sit behind her. It was like nothing had changed; her slap was still as harsh as ever.

"What's this?" Sid asked, smirking while he pointed between the two blondes. "Have you two kissed and made up?"

If looks could kill, Sid may have died from Arnold's glare. He looked at him in shock and looked towards Helga who looked a little uncomfortable from the comment. She merely stuck her tongue out at the boy though and went to grab her books. Sid sighed in relief and shot Arnold an apologetic glance before he went back to his desk where he was safe from saying the wrong thing. Arnold sighed in relief. He and Helga might have made up, but he wasn't willing to take any chances just because of that. They still needed to get back on track and what would happen after that… well, only time could tell.

* * *

"A word, Arnold!" Sid said before he wrapped his arm under the blonde boy's arm.

"A word, Helga!" Rhonda said before she wrapped her arm under the blonde girl's arm.

While Helga was pulled out of the classroom, Arnold was merely pulled to the other side of it. They looked briefly at each other, both having a clear idea what this was about. Arnold was placed in front of the other boys and Sid sat next to them. They looked like a jury to Arnold.

"What?" Arnold asked, trying to hold his smile back.

"Come on. Give." Harold said and gave Arnold's arm a harsh pat.

"There's nothing to give." Arnold insisted. "Helga and I just talked and made up…"

The boys glared at Arnold for a moment before a love-smitten grin broke onto his face and they laughed with him.

"Congratulations, man. Didn't think you'd ever get that far." Harold said and wrapped his arm around Arnold's neck in a sideways hug.

"Thanks." Arnold said once Harold let go and he could breathe again.

"So, what are you two now?" Stinky asked while his head was tilted to the side questioningly.

"We're… uh… somewhere in-between?" Arnold suggested, remembering how Helga had said they weren't quite friends anymore, but she couldn't just go straight to dating him either which he was fine with. He never imagined even getting the chance to date her so he himself had to get used to that thought as well. He had admired her from a distance for so long, it was pretty scary that it was out in the open now.

"So you're not even dating her?" Harold asked in disappointment. "After all that?"

"But they haven't gone right back to being friends either." Gerald pointed out. "Helga isn't in denial about it or anything anymore so I think this is a step in the right direction."

"True, but what's the plan now?" Harold asked as he sat down on a chair, resting his arms over the backrest.

"The plan?" Arnold repeated.

"Yeah, Helga knows you're sweet on her now! You have to do something about that. Strike while the iron is hot!"

Just when he said that, Curly appeared behind him. "I have an idea!"

"Where did he come from?" Gerald asked in surprise.

"Make a big romantic gesture!" Curly said, bouncing with every word. "Go to her apartment with flowers and chocolates and gifts and thing she loves and—"

"Are you crazy?!" Gerald asked.

"Moot point." Sid muttered.

"The iron is _not_ hot." Gerald insisted. "It's more like tepid or something."

"Yeah, did you guys not see Helga's reaction when I joked about her and Arnold kissing and making up? That is _not_ someone who is hot and ready get stroked at." Sid joked. "Naw, I think just going to dinner should be enough."

"They always do that!" Eugene complained as if it was the most boring thing he had ever heard.

"Not at a real restaurant." Sid pointed out and poked at his nose as if he were a genius. "You guys always go to Bigal's café because you work there, right?"

Arnold nodded.

"Well, don't. Go to a _real_ restaurant this time, not a café or a burger joint. That way you're doing something you've done a million times before, but makes it more like a date. I don't think even Helga will be scared off by that."

The boys considered Sid's suggestion for a moment.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Gerald said as he looked at Arnold encouragingly. "I think you should go for that."

"But what restaurant?" Arnold asked. "I only know that French place."

"Chez Paris? What's wrong with that one?" Eugene asked.

"Their menu is _only_ in French." Arnold pointed out and the boys nodded in remembrance.

"Yeah, the owner is a really pompous asshole and so are the waiters." Sid said in disgust.

"I don't think even restaurants in France only have French menus." Gerald said in clear annoyance.

"Exactly. I can't take Helga to a place where none of us know what we're ordering." Arnold insisted. "What if we ordered something really bad?"

"Like cow brains." Sid joked and nudged at Harold who got all green in the face from the memory. "Yeah, going to Chez Paris is a bad idea."

"What about Chez Pierre though?" Eugene suggested. "That's a very relaxed and cozy place."

"The chairs are heart-shaped." Arnold stated simply.

"So? That's not really your fault." Gerald pointed out, but Arnold just shook his head. "You know, Arnold, I'm starting to think you're not being considerate towards Helga at all. You're just a big scaredy-cat."

"I am _not_ scared!"

"Oh, please—"

"I'm terrified!" Arnold corrected. "You saw what happened the last time! It took her weeks to get over that!"

"That means the worst part is over!" Gerald insisted. "You can't do any worse than telling her you love her, Arnold! We're talking about dinner here! You're not walking her down the aisle!"

"He'd be dragging her by the hair like a caveman." Harold joked and started snickering.

"And she'd bite it off during the wedding night!" Sid continued and started shaking with laughter.

"Arnold," Gerald said and put his hand on the disturbed boy's shoulder. "the worst part is over. She _knows_. You can't go back to the way you were anyway so you might as well try. Come on, be the bold kid I know you can be."

Arnold didn't get the chance to answer before the door sprung open behind them. They all turned to see Helga stomping inside, some girlish laughter in her wake. She seemed annoyed, but not downright pissed as she looked at them.

"This is your fault!" she said, pointing at Arnold, but she quickly looked at the other boys. "I hope you're giving him as hard a time as the girls are giving me."

"We are." The boys agreed in amusement.

"Good." Helga huffed and went to sit at her desk.

The blonde started thinking about the conversation she'd just had with the other girls. They had all been overly excited about the development between her and Arnold and the only thing that had kept her sane was Patty holding onto her shoulder through most of the conversation. Helga had decided to tell the girls about her seeing Dr. Bliss as well and they had all insisted it was thanks to Arnold's love for her which Helga had shut down immediately. She wasn't doing it for him, she was doing it for herself. She didn't want to be so angry anymore, she didn't want to look at a male and have her first thought be to knock him to the floor. She had told them all that and they had nodded in agreement, but Patty just _had_ to say that Arnold was the drop that made the glass spill over, making him a way bigger motivation than Helga wanted to admit that he was.

Of course Arnold was an incentive, how could she pretend anything else? She had said she was also doing it because she didn't want to lose him, but if she was 100% honest, she knew he wouldn't stop being friends with her even if she told him she just wanted to forget the whole thing. She didn't have to change for him, she knew that, but she had to change for herself. For the sake of her own happiness and mental health. Arnold wasn't asking her to change so even if she used him as an excuse, she knew that in the long run, she was doing it for herself.

Helga frowned in confusion when she heard muttering from the other boys. She looked over at them, watching as they seemed to be whispering heatedly to Arnold who was trying to get them to be quiet. She lifted a curious eyebrow, figuring out what must be going on. She took a shaky breath and then called his name. When they all looked at her, she knew she was right.

"You might as well just get over here." Helga pointed out. "They're not going to give up."

The boys all grinned at Arnold in triumph. He sent them a bit of a glare before he walked over to Helga and gave her a sheepish, innocent grin. She just waited for him to explain what was going on though and he gave a bit of a sigh as he took a chair and sat down next to her.

"So?' Helga probed when Arnold still didn't talk. "Is it that bad?"

"Um… n—no actually. I just want to ask if you wanted to have dinner together?" Arnold asked as normally as he could. They had dinner together before. This was no big deal. That's what he kept telling himself, but it _was_ a big deal. She knew about his feelings for her this time.

"That seems… oddly normal." Helga pointed out, not understanding why that would make him so nervous.

"Uh, well…" Arnold mumbled and started scratching the nape of his neck nervously. "I was thinking we could go to… an actual restaurant this time? And not a café or… a junk food place."

 _There it is,_ Helga thought and nodded as calmly as she could even though she felt an unfamiliar heat in her throat. "We could do that. Anywhere in mind?"

 _Here it comes,_ Arnold thought. "I was thinking maybe, um… Ch-Chez Pierre?"

Helga's eyes doubled in size at the mention of that kind of restaurant. She looked away from Arnold, staring at nothing in particular. Her brain seemed to have snapped or so Arnold believed. When she started talking, he tried to take his suggestion back, but her words surprised him.

"That place… has a dress code, right?"

 _That's it?_ Arnold thought in confusion. "Uh, yes… but I don't think it's very strict." He answered and calmed visibly down. "I think your blue dress would do just fine."

"My what?" Helga asked in semi-shock and looked back at Arnold. She knew what dress he was talking about, but she only wore that once. How could he even remember that she owned a dress like that?

"You know, the blue one. The one that has straps and where the skirt is ripped to shreds by your knees and you wore a black top underneath it—" Arnold rambled and realized what he was saying. He stared at Helga for a moment who looked beyond disturbed and then he panicked. "I—I mean it could be any dress really! I really don't think they care that much! I was just saying that I think that dress really suited you even though you've never worn it again and—"

"Arnold!" Helga raised her voice to get the flustered boy's attention.

"Yes?' he answered in a high-pitched voice.

"You're making it worse. Go back to the boys. I'll see you tonight."

"Got it. See you." Arnold said and then scrambled back to the boys who either snickered at him or openly mocked him for his rant.

Helga couldn't help the shiver that went through her. She felt a little sickened by what she had just witnessed. How could Arnold remember that dress? She wore it once to a class party and never touched it again. It was a dress Olga had bought for her, the first dress that didn't make her feel like a cupcake so she had tried wearing it. It showed way too much cleavage for her liking though so she had worn a black top with lace around the chest area under the it like Arnold had so creepily remembered. The dress was cut in triangles around her thighs which gave them that torn look that she actually liked. What had turned her off the dress was the comments she had received for it. Once or twice, maybe even ten times, a guy had tried to pull the skirt of the dress up, pull her top down or god knows what else they would have tried if she had been any other girl than the one with the iron fists. She had never even thought about the dress again, but Arnold had obviously imprinted the dress into his mind which disturbed her. It reminded her once again that he really was a boy, no matter how much in denial she had been her whole life.

* * *

When lunch time finally enrolled, Helga was starving and was trying to mentally prepare herself for what she could only assume was going to be more teasing from the girls. She took a deep breath and then headed towards the girls' table, but quickly noticed that a chair was missing.

"Who the hell took my chair?" Helga asked in disbelief.

"We did." Nadine said impishly.

"Excuse me?"

"This is an intervention." Rhonda stated. "Kind of."

"Huh?" Helga said comically dull.

"We think it might be a good idea for you to join the boys today." Nadine replied with a big grin on her face.

Helga blinked before she shot Patty and Phoebe a panicked look. "Are you in on this?!"

"It was _my_ idea." Patty said with a mischievous grin.

"Traitors!" Helga bellowed and glared at the other girls. "Why should I do that? I don't want to sit with them! I—"

"It'd be a good exercise though." Patty interrupted and the blonde girl glared at her. "Think about it. Being around Arnold is child's play even if he does have a crush on you. The other boys are different, right? If you really want to get better, you should get used to them as well. And it's not like they're strangers."

Helga blinked. She knew Patty had a point. She had hung out with Arnold her whole life, just being around him wasn't anything new. It might be more awkward now, but it wasn't like she was really pushing herself by still hanging out with him. She looked towards the table where the boys from her class were sitting and chatting. She then looked back at Phoebe, silently asking her if she really thought this was a good idea.

"I think it would really help you, Helga." Phoebe said encouragingly and pushed her glasses up her nose.

Helga gave a shiver of discomfort before turning away from the girls and walking towards the boys. She held onto her tray tightly, feeling dizzy just from walking over there. Sid and Harold noticed her and stared at her for a moment, wondering what she was doing. When they realized she was heading towards them, Sid called Arnold's name and pointed at her. Arnold barely got to turn around before Helga was right behind him and Gerald.

"Can I sit here…?" Helga asked in a quiet, timid voice.

While Arnold stared at her, Gerald quickly moved his chair to the side to make room for her. He grabbed the empty chair next to him and swung it between him and Arnold so she could sit next to him. She looked at him a little suspiciously as she sat down.

"Are you in on this?" Helga whispered to Gerald. He looked away innocently which was answer enough.

Helga looked awkwardly at Arnold who didn't know how to react to the current situation. Helga had _never_ sat with him and the boys, which wasn't that weird he guessed since the other girls stayed at their usual table as well, but he had a feeling he wouldn't have been as shocked if it had been Phoebe or Patty since they were dating Harold and Gerald. Arnold wasn't the only one who didn't know how to react to the surreal situation. Sid, Stinky and Harold were all switching between staring at each other or at Helga. Eugene was just grinning wildly and Curly was munching off his sandwich, mostly unaware of what was going on around him. Brainy was nowhere to be seen as usual.

"Helga," Harold tried awkwardly and the blonde girl looked at him. "were you kicked off the girls' table or something?"

The chunky boy snickered in slight fear from his own comment, but Helga didn't feel particularly insulted. "Something like that." She answered and looked at Arnold again. He looked behind him at the girls who were all flashing thumb-ups at him.

 _Is this their way of helping?_ Arnold thought and felt his cheeks flush a little bit and looked back at Helga who shrugged.

"Sid." Gerald said and got everyone's attention. "You were talking about a girl."

"Oh, right!" Sid said, immediately forgetting Helga's presence. "I tried to talk to Carla yesterday, but the girl is still as cold as ever."

"Why do you keep trying, man?" Gerald asked. "Why do you like her anyway? All she ever says is: _Stuff if, squirt_."

"Yeah, but she's hot." Sid countered with a sleazy grin.

Arnold looked at Helga who clearly looked annoyed, but kept her mouth shut.

"She has serious attitude problems." Gerald argued.

"I'd rather want a hot girl with a bad personality than an ugly girl with a good personality." Sid said and laughed with Harold who laughed back, but his laughter seemed a little forced. He _was_ dating Patty after all, a girl who had been bullied for her looks through most of her childhood.

"Seems fair," Helga said emotionlessly, a tone of voice Arnold knew too well. "since the girl dumb enough to date you gets neither."

Arnold snorted with glee, but quickly hit his face behind Helga's arm to conceal the laughter. Gerald started laughing loudly though with both Harold, Stinky and Curly. Only Eugene tried to hold his laughter like Arnold was. Sid himself was glaring at Helga, his lips pouting from the comment. She didn't seem affected by his glare at all though.

"Burn!" Curly declared loudly before going back to his maniacal laughter.

"Serves you right!" Harold said while punching Sid's arm.

"You didn't even have to think about that one, did you, Helga?" Gerald asked while removing a tear from his eye.

"No, it just kinda came to me." the girl replied and looked at the boys in wonder. If she had pulled a joke like that with one of the girls, she knew that they would either get angry or sad. They would never have just laughed at it like even Sid was doing now. Was that what Patty had meant when she said there wasn't any bullshit with boys?

"Look at that!" Lila said in glee to the other girls. "They love her, just ever so much!"

"She made them laugh." Rhonda stated in shock.

"Brilliant idea, Patricia." Phoebe said while smiling at Patty.

"Thanks, shorty." Patty replied before nuzzling the girl's head.

* * *

"I can't believe I'm wearing this dress." Helga thought as she looked herself over. She twisted her body to see herself from behind as well and straightened the dress a bit. She gave a sigh and grabbed a hair tie. "What is this feeling?"

Helga cringed at her own question; saying it aloud just made it all the more real that she _was_ nervous. For some unknown reason. It was just Arnold, why did she care? Sure, she was wearing the dress he had suggested, but she might have worn that anyway. Ok, that was a blatant lie, she could admit that much, but just because she took his advice didn't mean anything special. Arnold was the big advice-giver after all. She didn't always follow them, but it wasn't that special when she did.

"The fuck am I doing with my hair?" Helga asked her reflection, staring at the high ponytail she had just made. She ripped the hair tie out and tossed her hair until it became messy instead. She looked it over before sighing and reaching for the hair tie again. "It's no different than going to Bigal's café… it really isn't!"

But it was and Helga knew it. Not because of the restaurant, not because of the dress, but because she knew that Arnold liked her in a different way than she liked him. And that made it a sort of date. Her first date, she just realized. A date she never thought she'd go on.

Helga took a deep sigh and nodded at the high ponytail she had just remade and went to put on her shoes. It was a pair of black ankle boots with wedge heels. She wasn't comfortable in anything higher than that and she wasn't exactly a short girl so she saw no reason to wear anything else. She stood up and wiggled her feet around in the shoes to adjust them. She then went to grab her bag before she realized something.

 _Wait, are we meeting there? I don't know how to get there!_ Helga thought and scratched her head. _Arnold would know that, wouldn't he? So is he picking me up? I don't remember!_

Helga sighed in frustration and went to grab her phone. She was about to send Arnold a text when she heard her doorbell. She turned around in confusion, wondering if he really was there to pick her up. She put the phone down and went towards the door, but looked at her reflection in the small mirror on the wall next to her first. With a groan, she ripped the hair tie out once again before she opened the door.

"Hi!" Arnold said, clearly out of breath. "I—I just realized that we didn't actually agree whether we'd meet at Chez Pierre or if I'd pick you up so I came running over here. I know that I'm a little early, but better safe than sorry, right?"

 _He's rambling_ , Helga told herself and gave a crooked smirk. "I was about to text you asking about it actually."

"Oh, really?" Arnold asked and took his phone out of his pocket. "I didn't feel it vibrate."

"I said _about to_ , Arnold." Helga pointed out.

Arnold looked up at Helga and then laughed in embarrassment. "Right. Sorry." He said and shoved the phone back into his pocket.

"Arnold, you're making this worse than it has to be." Helga stated matter-of-factly. He had always been a very see-through guy, but this was ridiculous. He might as well be wearing a sign saying: _I'm going on my first date!_ It didn't help Helga's nerves at all.

Arnold smiled awkwardly and scratched his neck. "I'm sorry. I'll try to calm down." He promised.

"You'd better." Helga stated bluntly and turned around to go back and grab her bag.

Arnold sighed in embarrassment and looked at Helga again. "You're wearing the blue dress." He stated before he could stop himself.

Helga flinched and turned around to look at him again. "W—Well, it's the only formal dress I have so…" she excused and took her bag. _Couldn't he have pretended not to notice? Then again that might have pissed me off a little bit too_.

Arnold observed Helga while she walked back to him. He noticed that she was wearing the black lace top underneath the dress like she had before as well, but her chest had still definitely grown since then. Arnold immediately threw that thought way back in his mind; if he opened _that_ can of worms, he wouldn't be able to get through the night without making a total fool of himself.

The walk to Chez Pierre was mostly silent except for Helga asking if Arnold knew what they had on the menu to which he had to admit that he didn't. When they got to the restaurant, Arnold kept debating whether he should act like usual or more like he had always wanted to act around her. He wanted to hold out the chair for her, compliment her, flirt even. He had only managed to do the first one before he realized he was too nervous to do anything beyond that.

The first half hour of the dinner was in stifling silence, neither blonde knowing what to do or say. It wasn't until Helga finally had enough and declared loudly that she refused to say less than ten words this evening. She had then proceeded to complain about the essay they were supposed to write for next week. Arnold latched onto the subject desperately and soon, the blondes were having their usual banter. They were laughing and joking around like nothing had changed, but there was a little spark there that Arnold felt somewhere deep inside his heart. There was something about Helga's unrestricted laughter that seemed warmer than usual. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but he wanted to believe that he could still enter her heart a little more.

The walk home was, in contrast to the walk to the restaurant, filled with chitchat. They were in their own little bubble as they walked together, completely unaware of their surroundings. It wasn't until Arnold turned the key in the keyhole that he realized they were at his place. He froze in his tracks and Helga bumped into him.

"The hell? Why aren't you opening the door?"

Arnold turned around to look at the blonde girl. "We're… at my place."

"Well, doi." Helga stated, wondering if Arnold had laughed himself silly the last hour. She looked him over while he got a bit of an awkward blush on his face. She thought about it for a moment and then felt her own heart twitching. "Oh… we walked to your place."

Helga had taken longer to realize, but they had indeed walked all the way to Arnold's place. That was what they'd usually do after having dinner together. They'd go to his place and she'd sleep there for the night. That was the custom for so many years that they had gone straight to his place out of habit.

"Um…" Arnold said and looked at the door handle which he was still holding. "You could stay over if you want to? I—I mean…"

Arnold didn't finish his sentence, but Helga didn't need him to. "Naw." She replied casually and scratched her neck. "I've kinda realized why you didn't want me to sleep over back then."

Arnold looked at Helga for a moment before he moved closer to her. He spoke her name softly and she looked at him, ignoring the immediate urge to step away from him. "It's not like I… always have weird thoughts, you know?"

"Weird thoughts…?" Helga repeated as if she didn't know what he meant, but then frowned. "I know that!"

"Do you?" Arnold asked to make sure she really understood.

"Of course!" Helga said and put a hand on his chest to push him away a bit. "I see it clearly when you're with the other boys. Sid is way different than all of you for example."

Arnold hummed in realization. "Yeah, Sid can be a little—"

"Vulgar? Perverted? The sole reason some girls hate boys?" Helga suggested semi-jokingly. Semi being the keyword.

Arnold chuckled. "He's a good guy deep down though."

" _Very_ deep down." Helga huffed and looked down at her hand, noticing she still had it on Arnold's chest. She pulled it away and looked to the side. "Besides… the last time I slept over you kinda sprung some really big words on me."

Arnold blushed from the reminder, but it got him thinking about something. "What… did I say… exactly?" he asked awkwardly.

Helga got a wild look in her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, I know what I said, sort of, but what did I say _exactly_?"

"What the hell does that matter?!"

"I just… want to know, you know?"

"No, I don't know."

"I just want to know how much I told you."

"How much you…" Helga repeated while blinking and then clutched at her bag as if it was a safety strap. "Is there more?"

"What? No! I just… I mean… Can't you just please tell me?" Arnold asked, but Helga looked away from him, clearly uncomfortable with the question. " _Please_."

Helga looked back at Arnold as secretly as she could, but sighed and gave in. "You just… told me that you're in l… l—l—lo… with me. That's all." She said, skipping over the L-word.

 _That's all?_ Arnold thought. _So I really didn't tell her that I've always felt like that. Should I…? Just to get all the cards on the table?_

"What is it?" Helga asked since Arnold had gone quiet.

The boy shook his head and smiled. "Nothing. I just wanted to know. Thank you for telling me." he said, hoping Helga wouldn't be her usual observant self or at least not ask why he wanted to know so badly.

Helga looked Arnold over suspiciously before she shook her head in tiredness. "I don't even care, Football Head." she declared before yawning. "I'm going home."

"You don't want me to walk you?" Arnold asked as he watched her walking down the stoop.

"Arnold, I live like one block away. I don't think that's enough time to knock a guy into a pulp if he tries anything with me." Helga said with a sleek grin.

Arnold started laughing and shook his head in amusement. "Right. Still, text me when you're home, ok?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "Are you that worried about everyone else too or is it just because I'm special?" she asked with a different kind of smile on her face. There was a hint of something more playful in it and Arnold could feel his heart skip a beat from her words. The girl herself coughed awkwardly, realizing what she was suggesting. "Well, see you tomorrow, Football Head."

"Wait!" Arnold called and Helga stopped walking. She turned around slowly, almost as if she was expecting something as big as the last time she was at Sunset Arms. "That dress really does look good on you. You should wear it to Rhonda's party on Saturday."

Helga blinked in surprise. "Oh, right!" she groaned. "Rhonda's annual class party… I had happily forgotten about that. Screw you!"

Arnold laughed loudly at Helga's reaction and she couldn't help but join him. She had a feeling that the party this year would be different. What kind of different she didn't know.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: And that's the end! Of this chapter that is ;D I really don't have a lot to say in the author's notes this time, huh? xD**


	5. A little spark

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After Helga and Arnold made up, the boys decided that it was time for Arnold to ask Helga out on a proper date. After much debating, Arnold collected enough courage to ask Helga to join him for dinner at Chez Pierre. Not only did she say yes, but she even joined him at the boys' table – mostly because of the girls pushing her to do it. Her crude humor let her bond with the boys and she realized there was something good in the boys being more crude than girls.**_

 _ **While Arnold was excited and nervous, Helga was a total wreck. She didn't know how she was supposed to act or even if Arnold was picking her up or if they were meeting at the restaurant. Arnold wasn't in better shape though and that helped them both calm down to the extent of Helga following Arnold home out of habit. They said their goodnights and agreed to go to Rhonda's party together.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Hi everyone! I'm sorry that this chapter took so long once again. School just started and after 2-3 months of summer vacation, it's pretty hard to get back into the humdrum x'D**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 5: "A little spark"

"If the boys decide to play a prank on us this year like last year, I hope Rhonda will cancel the parties for good." Helga declared as she readjusted the blue dress on her thighs. She had decided to take Arnold's suggestion and wear it for Rhonda's annual class party, but she had decided to wear her cropped leather jacket along with it. One thing was going to a restaurant with just Arnold, something else was being around other boys as well.

Arnold chuckled. "Well, if they do they left me out of the prank this year."

"It's a miracle they let you in last year. You're not good at pranks."

"I'm not bad at them either…"

"You're bad at keeping secrets! You don't mean to, but you do kinda tell on people by accident sometimes."

"I do not—"

"Bunny pajamas."

Arnold kept his mouth shut after those words and focused on driving instead. He didn't miss Helga's gleeful laugh though. She looked out the window and smiled in triumph. Arnold really wasn't a very secretive guy no matter how much he tried. He was simply too honest. Now that she thought about it that was a pretty redeemable quality, how come no girl had snatched him up yet? He must have had offers, but he had never even been on a date before their date this week, not as far as she knew at least. But she saw no reason he'd keep a girlfriend a secret from her. If he did have a girlfriend, he would probably have brought her to Rhonda's parties instead of Helga.

Helga had never given it much thought, but now she was wondering why Arnold had never brought another girl to one of these parties at all. You know, an actual date. It made her wonder for just how long he had felt this way about her. It couldn't be for long, could it? She would have noticed, wouldn't she? Arnold wasn't that smart and he was usually pretty see-through so it couldn't be an old secret or anything.

"Hey, Arnold?" Helga asked and Arnold gave a small hum, keeping his focus on driving. "How long have you felt… what you've been feeling?"

Arnold frowned in confusion for a moment, but then felt his cheeks flare up. "W—Why do you want to know?"

"Uh-uh." Helga said stubbornly. "If I had to answer how much you told me that night, you can tell me this too, bucko. How long have you felt this way about me?"

Arnold gulped. "I'm… not sure you want to know."

"That long?" Helga asked in surprise. "A half year?"

Arnold chuckled and shook his head. He knew Helga wasn't going to give up so he might as well be honest. She had to guess it at some point as she extended the time.

"A whole year? Two? Five?" Helga guessed, but Arnold kept shaking his head, not even stopping for a second because he knew the next guess would be wrong as well. "What, are you telling me you've been in love with me our whole lives?"

Arnold just stayed quiet and didn't move a muscle. He could feel Helga's eyes on him and he heard her choke on nothing in disbelief. She looked away from him, staring on the road. She didn't say a word, he could barely hear her breathe.

"That's… some secret, Football Head." Helga said and Arnold sighed in relief from the nickname. "And here I thought you couldn't keep a secret to save your life."

"I can't… but I guess you get used to keeping _some_ things to yourself." Arnold answered. He looked Helga over for a moment, contemplating whether to speak his next words. "Besides… when you know what you can lose if you speak up it kinda motives you to keep shut."

Helga looked at Arnold again and he looked at her briefly before concentrating on the road again. Helga kept looking at him before looking away again. This was something she had noticed since they went to Chez Pierre together; Arnold seemed to be more comfortable talking about his feelings for her. She wasn't sure how she felt about it though. On one hand it was incredibly awkward when she couldn't even begin to understand how he felt, but on the other hand it was definitely better than pretending it wasn't there. She decided to just try and get used to that along with everything else.

Arnold parked the Packard and walked with Helga into Rhonda's mansion. A butler greeted them with a glass of champagne, but Helga shook her head.

"No thanks, bucko. I'm going for the real stuff."

Arnold chuckled while the blonde girl went straight for the bar. He muttered an apology to the butler, took a glass of champagne and headed towards the bar. Helga already had a whisky glass in her hand and was sipping from it happily. Arnold shook his head in amusement; it almost looked like a sippy cup when she was drinking from it like that.

"Well, there's our favorite blondes!" Rhonda said semi-sarcastically and approached Arnold and Helga. "You two were the last ones missing. Come into the living room."

As soon as Rhonda turned around, Helga made exaggerated, snooty expressions at Arnold who pushed scoldingly at her shoulder, but chuckled quietly. They followed Rhonda into the living room where the others were already sitting in a perfect circle around a bottle. The blondes stopped and gave each other an annoyed look.

"No."

Rhonda looked at the blondes. "Come on! Why are you two always so boring with this?"

"Do I really have to answer that?" Helga asked before drinking from her glass again and heading towards the balcony.

"Same." Arnold pointed out and gave his guy friends a pointed look.

"Aw, come on, you two!" Sid said jokingly and somehow, Arnold knew his next words would be significant. "It's a perfect chance for you to land a big smooch on Helga!"

Helga froze in her steps and Arnold looked at her worriedly, especially when she didn't start moving after five seconds. "Look, guys." He said and looked at the others who either looked worried due to Sid's comment or confused. "I've said it before… I don't want to kiss Helga because of a game. If we are going to kiss it's because we both want to."

Arnold walked towards Helga and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at it in surprise and then at him. She let him lead her to the balcony, both of them ignoring some of the others scolding Sid for his comment. The blondes leaned against the railing, both of them looking at the sky for a good minute or two in silence.

"What are you thinking?" Arnold asked as casually as he could and lifted the glass to his lips.

"Kissing you."

Arnold spit out what little champagne had entered his mouth. He choked for a moment and coughed, scarcely noticing that Helga was patting his back soothingly. She kept looking at the night sky thoughtfully while doing so. When he calmed down, she removed her hand and finally looked at him. He looked back at her, waiting for her to explain what she meant.

Helga chuckled awkwardly. "You know this is really weird… I mean, messed up even." She said and shrugged. "I hadn't thought about it."

Arnold's eyebrows knitted together in thought. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… Of course you want to kiss me. You feel… what you feel… about me, but somehow, I had totally forgetting the physical part of feelings like that. Which is really weird because it's the physical part that _really_ … um…"

"Makes you nervous?" Arnold suggested, but Helga shook her head.

"More like creeps me out." She admitted bluntly. "I mean, when I get the most angry is when guys grab my ass in a club. I get pissed when they make disgusting comments too or catcall, but the whole grabbing thing is—"

"Helga, don't you dare compare me to them!" Arnold said angrily and Helga looked at him in shock. "How I feel about you and how creeps like that treat you are totally different!"

Helga frowned. "I know that!"

"Then what are you saying?"

"I… I don't know anything else!" Helga answered in frustration. They stared at each other for a moment before their shoulders slumped and they calmed down. "You know that."

"Yeah… I know." Arnold answered sadly, remembering the times when Helga's father still lived with them.

Bob was a mentally abusive man who only cared about his job and, occasionally, his oldest daughter. All he ever did around Miriam and Helga was to yell, complain and scold them for not behaving the way he wanted them to. He would scold Miriam for her drinking and say it was her fault that Helga was such a rude brat and he would blame Helga for Miriam's drinking to begin with. The only contact Helga had ever had with her father was when he scolded her or her mother. So she grew up with the idea that getting close to a man only meant to be yelled and screamed at.

And when Olga started dating one screw-up after the other it only got worse. She learned about relationships from watching her mother and her sister and the toxic lessons she was taught was what made her so scared and angry. She had seen and met too many men who had done nothing but hurt her mother and sister to believe it would be any different to herself. It was too late when Olga finally helped her mother divorce Bob and he never came back, his pride hurt from his family turning his back on him. Helga could still remember the day Miriam told Bob she wanted to divorce him; it was the most horrible day in their lives.

"Helga?" Arnold said quietly.

Helga shook her head and chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry. I started thinking about Bob…" she admitted and looked at the whisky in her glass.

"Helga?" Arnold called her name again and she looked at him. She gave a wry smile.

"What I'm saying is… even though I understand how you feel about me… and have sorta come to terms with it… I kinda forgot what it also meant. I've been so focused on your feelings that I forgot the physical aspect of… dating someone." Helga explained and pointed at her head. "I know you're different from other boys up here,"—she pointed to her heart—"but my body just reacts on its own."

"Helga," Arnold said and grabbed her hand; she flinched in surprise, but didn't pull away. "I would never… ever do anything you wouldn't want me to… you know that, right?"

"I know that…" Helga said seriously before a grin cracked her face. "You couldn't even if you wanted to. I'd bite your lips off before you even got to enjoy it."

Arnold shivered at the image, but forced a smile. "And if I want to be neutered, I'll go to a doctor."

"Exactly!" Helga agreed and laughed with Arnold. She smiled at him for a moment and then looked at their hands. She could feel him looking as well and that he was about to pull away. "This is ok… somehow."

Arnold stopped moving and looked at Helga in slight surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah… but it feels a little weird." Helga admitted and chuckled awkwardly. "And… doesn't it look wrong?"

Arnold looked at their hands for a moment before he understood what she meant. He let go of her hand for a moment and then intertwined his fingers with hers. She blinked in surprise and lifted their hands, obviously studying it with interest as if it was the most alien thing she had ever seen. Arnold almost felt shy under her curious gaze.

"Huh… your hand is a lot bigger than I thought."

"I'm not hurting you, right?" Arnold asked out of his usual worry.

"No, your hand is not _that_ big!" Helga replied in incredulity and let their hands rest on the railing again. "Just bigger than I thought. That's all."

Arnold watched as Helga started drinking from her glass, still letting him hold her hand like it was nothing. She had no idea how many times he had imagined something as simple as this. He looked at their hands, marveling in the meek sensation. Her hand was slightly cool compared to his, but it was warming up the longer he held it. He had asked her if his hand was hurting her, but her fingers weren't stretched abnormally in order to let his in. In fact, it almost looked like a perfect fit.

"It doesn't take much to make you happy, huh?"

Arnold shook his head and stared at Helga who was grinning at him mockingly, but there was a hint of embarrassment as well. "Uh, no… I'm a pretty simple guy after all." He replied and rocked their hands a little.

Helga looked Arnold over for a moment, almost studying him, before she smiled curiously at him. "What is it you… imagine anyway?"

"Imagine?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to have to be more specific, Helga." Arnold probed softly.

Helga rolled her shoulders awkwardly. "I mean… you're a daydreamer, right? You must have some… fantasies or whatever."

Arnold frowned in discomfort. "Helga, what are you asking exactly…?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "What kinda fantasies do you have about me?!" she asked in frustration.

"What?!" Arnold bellowed in shock from the question. "You really want to know that?!"

"Well, the alternative is _not_ knowing and that creeps me out more! I need to know what goes through your mind!"

"Most people don't know that anyway!"

"You owe me that much from hiding this for almost 17 years!"

"I wasn't in love with you when I was a baby!"

"You know what I mean!" Helga screamed back and tried to calm herself down. She couldn't help but notice that through the whole thing, she hadn't let go of Arnold's hand.

Arnold took a couple of deep breaths, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Who could blame him? His fantasies were his business, Helga had no right to try to enter his head. She had made him feel a little guilty though when she pointed out how big a secret he had hidden from her their whole lives. He could easily tell her he just didn't want her to know, but he couldn't. If she really wanted to know, he'd tell her. He just wasn't sure if _he_ wanted to know what she'd think of it all.

"When you say fantasies… what do you mean?"

"Fantasies; something that is produced by the act of imagination." Helga stated matter-of-factly.

"I know what a fantasy is, Helga!"

"Then why are you asking stupid questions like that?! Don't think you can procrastinate forever."

"I'm not pro—"

"Oh, really?" the blonde girl interrupted in doubt.

Arnold groaned and looked at their hands. "This. This I've fantasized about." He said with a pout.

"You imagined us fighting on Rhonda's balcony?"

"No! _This_." Arnold specified and lifted their hands. "Holding your hand."

"Just that?"

"Well, there's other fantasies of course, but yeah."

"How simple."

"We've already agreed I'm a simple guy." Arnold stated, the pout staying loyally on his face.

"What else?"

 _She's serious…_ Arnold realized and felt his cheeks flare up a bit. He scratched his head thoughtfully. "Um… well, k—kissing you too of course."

"There's gotta be more."

"Just how many details do you want?!"

"Well, I don't wanna hear your dirty, perverted fantasies!" Helga specified and shivered at the thought. "Just the less… filthy ones I guess."

 _Filthy…_ Arnold thought in discomfort and gave a sigh. "None of my fantasies are filthy…"

"I—I know, I know, but to me they—"

"Yeah, to you they are, I know." Arnold interrupted and started chewing on the inside of his cheeks.

Helga squeezed Arnold's hand and he looked at her. "I just don't know how to feel about it yet… Like I said, I only _just_ realized that… _that_ is gonna be a part of this too at some point. I've never thought about stuff like that before, Arnold. At all. Not unless some asshole was describing to me in detail how he wanted to do me—And again, I know you're different!"

Arnold closed his mouth and smiled. He had been about to yell once more, but Helga beat him to it. They grinned at each other and he started rocking their hands. He knew Helga knew he was different, but he also knew she didn't know how different. It was true; her experiences with boys had been less than ideal ever since she was born. How could it not affect her view on this too? She was trying and she was doing it seriously. Her asking was her way of getting used to the idea, he knew that. It made him grateful because it meant she truly cared about him. And about getting better.

* * *

Once their classmates had finished playing _Spin the bottle_ , Arnold and Helga were called back in and they joined their friends in the partying. The music was blasting in the mansion and Arnold was reminded of one of the many moment where he had been mesmerized by Helga. Helga could dance; _really_ dance. She had taken ballet lessons as a kid so she had a natural elegance and beauty in the way she moved even if what she was dancing right then didn't resemble ballet at all. To spite her parents, mostly Bob, she had skipped out on the ballet lessons once she turned 10 years old though and started taking hiphop instead. Her parents thought she was still doing ballet for a long time, but Helga admitted it to Miriam once she had told Bob she wanted to divorce. Helga knew after all that Miriam didn't really care if Helga was doing ballet or not, she just wanted her daughter to gain some skills no matter what they were. It was only Bob who would have scolded Helga for doing something as unladylike as doing hiphop.

Helga still took hiphop lessons to this day and was good enough to compete if she wanted to, but she didn't. She never even considered giving competing a chance because then dancing would be about the prizes like Bob wanted it to be about. Helga refused to care about rosettes and trophies so she kept dancing just because she liked it. It was a good non-violent way to move her body and ballet just wasn't going to cut it when she felt aggressive.

Arnold could still remember the first time he had seen Helga perform. She seemed so carefree, a natural smile on her face through the entire thing. Not only had she moved fluently and perfectly to the music, she had just seemed so downright happy and it had made him happier than he could have ever imagined. He could still remember her running to him and hugging him, the adrenaline still rushing through her after the performance. He had felt so flustered and her happiness had been infectious enough for them both to just jump around happily.

Arnold was still in awe of Helga's dancing skills, like most of their classmates were. She really was in her right element even if the music didn't fit her dancing style. She also seemed to forget everything around her; like at one point during the evening, she had taken Arnold's hands and swung them both around to the music. She was always carefree when she was dancing, but never like that before. Holding her hand earlier had given her more confidence in being physical with Arnold and it was crystal clear.

The magical moment was ruined though when the music transitioned into a much slower song and the whole atmosphere in the room changed. The crazy lights turned soft and slow and people around Arnold and Helga were either finding their significant other or taking a break on the couches. Arnold looked questioningly at Helga, silently asking which group of people she wanted to join. Her taking her hand out of his was a very clear answer.

"Wanna get something to drink?" Helga asked as casually as she could, but everything about her was screaming how much she just wanted to get away.

Arnold was about to do what he always did; go with whatever Helga wanted. He didn't want to rock the boat after all, did he? She had already taken such a big step tonight, why did he still want more? But he did and he couldn't deny it.

"No." Arnold said almost quietly and Helga stopped in her tracks. She turned around to stare at him in surprise, but he looked at her with determination shining in his eyes as he lifted his hand towards hers. "Just one more dance. Then we can go get something to drink."

Helga felt an oddly electrifying feeling from Arnold's eyes that she didn't quite know what meant. "This is… not my kind of dancing, Arnold." she tried lamely.

"Not mine either." Arnold answered with a very small smile, but the unwavering look stayed on his face.

"I don't think I'd be very good at it."

"That's not true. You can do anything you put your mind to."

Helga gave a crooked smirk at that, but it disappeared quickly. "So… what? We're just gonna… step on each other's feet?" she tried to joke, but her voice cracked at the last word.

"Sure. Why not?" Arnold answered, this time letting his usual grin decorate his features so help her relax. It worked; Helga gave a small smile back before she looked nervously at his still extended hand.

"You're not gonna… move until I dance with you… are you?" the blonde girl asked in a sigh.

Arnold didn't answer and he didn't have to; Helga's question had been more of a statement. She gave another sigh and reached out for his hand. They stayed there for a moment before Arnold walked backwards slowly, pulling an obedient Helga with him. She stopped, neatly placing herself perfectly in front of him, but didn't look him in the eyes. She felt him lift her arm up in a proper dancing position and she closed her eyes tightly in discomfort. He held her arm there for a moment before she felt her hand being placed on his shoulder instead. She opened her eyes just as he placed her other hand as well and then wrapped his arms around her waist as loosely as he could.

"I thought you were going to be all formal and proper about this." Helga stated in slight relief, but mostly curiosity.

"I was… until I realized that I didn't know what to do after getting into that position." Arnold admitted and chuckled cutely. "This way we won't step on each other's feet after all. I wouldn't want to ruin your one pair of high heels."

Helga stuck out her tongue and shook her head from side to side, a very unamused expression on her face. "They hurt like a son of a bitch." She complained, but made no move to actually take them off. "This can barely be called dancing."

Arnold chuckled while he kept swaying them both from side to side, barely in sync to the music since it was hardly needed. "It gives us a nice break though, doesn't it?"

Helga looked Arnold over for what felt like the 17th time tonight. He kept surprising her and whether she liked the surprises or not, she couldn't answer that at all. She was seeing new sides of him every day ever since he had confessed his feelings to her. Had Arnold been hiding all these sides of him their whole lives? Had she unknowingly forced him to lie and pretend for all those years?

"Helga?" Arnold asked gently when he could see the blonde girl had entered a web of thoughts.

Helga kept looking at Arnold's chest rather than in his eyes as she started speaking. "I'm not good at this." She stated matter-of-factly.

Arnold blinked. "Dancing?" he questioned.

"All of this."

"You can't be bad at relationships, Helga."

"Oh, yes, you can." Helga argued in a bitter chuckle. "You, for example, are great at them. You're considerate, patient, give great advice and are way too fucking loyal… that's why you have so many friends who always come to you for help. I, on the other hand, suck at relationships. I'm awkward, crude, borderline violent and I keep pushing you away… It makes me wonder why… you're still here."

Helga hadn't noticed, but Arnold had stopped swaying them and they were now standing perfectly still on the dancefloor, surrounded by their friends who had noticed them talking, but didn't know what they were talking about. Arnold took Helga's hand and started walking with her. Despite her surprise, she followed the blonde boy obediently until they reached the kitchenette, far away from their classmates, but still within earshot of the loud music. He led her to the small couch and sat her down before he crouched in front of her and grabbed her ankle.

"Arnold, what are you—"

"I keep trying because I can't _not_ try." Arnold interrupted while he unzipped Helga's boot. He put the boot away and unzipped the next one, but looked intensely at the blue eyes above him this time. "I've been in love with you since we were children, Helga. To stop being in love with you is not an option; I just can't do that. Trust me, I've tried."

 _He tried?_ Helga repeated in her mind and felt a puzzling sense of disappointment and relief rush through her.

"You may not see it, but you _have_ changed. A month ago, you would have pushed me away if I tried to hold you like I did before." Arnold continued and put the other boot away. He took Helga's hands in his and smiled gently at her. "You think you're bad at relationships, Helga, but look how much you're trying. I know it's not just for my sake, but to know I'm even a small reason for it makes me so happy. You're trying and that's the most important thing and more than a lot of people do. Actually…"

When Arnold hesitated, Helga moved a little closer to him. "What?" she asked inquisitively.

Arnold gave an earnest smile. "I think I've fallen in love with you all over again."

Blue eyes widened in wonder at the sweet words. It was clear that the eyes' owner didn't know what to say or do with this new information. It took quite a few seconds before Helga's expression transformed back to a more mellow one and she stood up from the couch, pulling Arnold up with her in the process. After a few seconds, she let her head rest on his shoulder and stayed there. Arnold felt his heart leap out of his chest and come crashing back a couple of times before he calmed down enough to turned his head to the side and enjoy the feeling of her hair tickling his face.

"This… This I can do." Helga said in a muffled voice because she was hiding her face in the crook of Arnold's neck.

Arnold sighed in happiness, wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on her head. "It's perfect."

Helga nuzzled into Arnold's neck and closed her eyes. She felt her quickened heartbeat turn into a calming rhythm and she liked that feeling. A smell hit her nostrils and she inhaled the scent.

 _Fruit? Seriously, Football Head?_ Helga thought and rolled her eyes. After a moment, the calm moment disappeared like a rug from under her feet and embarrassment overtook her. She gave a cough and stepped back. "Well, I'm thirsty. You want some, bucko?"

Helga didn't wait for Arnold to answer and started jogging towards the living room. Arnold smiled in amusement from her embarrassment and followed her until she turned towards the bar. He stood there, just watching her for a moment before Gerald approached him with a wide grin. Arnold chuckled and did their secret handshake with him.

At the bar, Helga was already taking a swig from the next whiskey and tried to ignore Patty's probing smile. She glared at the girl and finally asked her what that grin as for.

"You two were having a moment." Patty answered and lifted her own glass. "Before you snuck off."

Helga snorted. "We didn't _sneak off_. Arnold just pulled me away so we could talk without having to yell over the music."

"You were close enough to whisper even with the music on."

"Would you shut up?!"

"Hey, it's a good thing!" Patty insisted. "Helga, the only time you've ever been that close to a guy is if you're wrapping his tongue around his neck or tying his balls around his waist."

"You're exaggerating."

"For effect." Patty joked and winked at Helga. "Come on, don't tell me you didn't feel a little spark?"

Helga scoffed at the idea, but looked over her shoulder in Arnold's direction. He was chatting with Gerald who seemed to be selling the same idea to him Patty was to her. Arnold seemed completely flustered, but in total bliss. He had that annoyingly happy grin on his face and it usually annoyed the living hell out of Helga, but not this time. She slowly turned her head to look at Patty who was wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at her.

Helga rolled her eyes and lifted the glass to her mouth. "Shut up."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Next chapter is gonna be fluffy as well, but beware of chapter 7! That's when shit is about to go down x'D And also the very ending of chapter 6, I guess… I'm gonna start being a little mean x'D**


	6. ICE number

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **Arnold and Helga went to Rhonda's annual class party together and it started off awkwardly when the others started playing Spin the bottle and Helga realized what dating Arnold would eventually mean; being physical. While assuring her he would never do anything she'd be uncomfortable with, he took her hand and she admitted that it felt ok.**_

 _ **Slow dancing with Arnold later on though made Helga confess how little confidence she had in her ability to be in a relationship with him. After pulling her away from their classmates, Arnold reminded her how much she had changed just these few weeks. He even told her he had fallen in love with her all over again.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I don't think I have too much to say about today's chapter! Except… how many of you know what an ICE number is? And are already afraid of what's gonna happen? xD**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 6: "ICE number"

"Alright, class. Please give our new students, Zac and Zoe, a warm welcome." Mrs. Oah said as she gestured to a boy and a girl next to her.

They both had curly, brown hair. Both had it cut to their shoulder, but the boy had it in a ponytail while the girl let it hang loose. They had dark brown eyes, a bit of freckles on their cheeks and were dressed to impress on their first day in the new class. The boy was wearing a pair of rigged jeans and a printed dark red t-shirt and the girl was wearing a white skirt and a bright red top. Boys and girls in the class were drooling on different levels. Except for Arnold and Helga.

Helga leaned backwards while Arnold leaned towards her. "Did you know we were gonna get new students?"

"I had no idea." Arnold whispered back.

"Hey." Gerald whispered and patted his hand on his desk to get the blondes' attention. "That's because Mrs. Oah announced it a week after school started."

"What does that have to do with—" Arnold whispered before he got eye contact with Helga. She gave him a reportedly look and he hummed in understanding.

It had been right when he had told her about his feelings and they were both distracted with their own miserable thoughts. Somehow, the reminder reminded him how far they had gotten since then and he couldn't help but grin goofily at the blonde girl. She gave him a confused frown, but then rolled her eyes in resignation, flicked his forehead and turned to face the blackboard again. Arnold nursed his brow, but the smile never left his face. He didn't even notice when Gerald stuck his tongue out in mock disgust.

"Well, I think we should use today's class to get to know our new students so… just kick back and relax until recess." Mrs. Oah declared before she sat down at her desk, took a magazine out of nowhere and started to read.

"Works for me!" Rhonda declared and beckoned the new students over to her. "You two are twins, right?"

Helga shook her head in amusement before she turned around in her chair to face Arnold. "So how does the birthday boy want to be celebrated this year? A big party like usual?" she asked with a crooked grin.

Arnold briefly looked towards the new students, feeling somewhat guilty for not joining the others in getting to know them, but he wasn't about to ignore Helga. "Actually…" he started nervously and scratched his cheeks. "I—I was hoping you and I could—"

"It's _such_ a shame that you didn't join us sooner!" Rhonda cried out, drowning Arnold's voice in her own. "I had my annual party just last week. It would have been a perfect bonding opportunity."

"I'm sure we'll have other opportunities." The boy, Zac, said.

"Yes," his sister agreed. "it's not like we won't see each other every day."

"No, this won't do." Rhonda declared stubbornly. "Tell you what, I'll host another party in your honor this Friday!"

Helga scowled. "Hey, princess!" she called and got the others' attention. "Have you forgotten Football Head over here? It's his birthday this Friday."

Rhonda looked at Arnold for a moment and then smacked her face. "That's right!"

"That's ok, Rhonda. Really." Arnold said, about to explain that he wasn't going to host his usual birthday party this year. Unless Helga hated the idea of going on a birthday date with him.

"No, Helga's right." Rhonda said and then gasped like she just had the most amazing idea ever. "It'll still work! We'll celebrate Arnold's birthday at my mansion this year and then we'll still get to party with our new favorite twins."

Helga scoffed. "If I needed an excuse to get hammered two times in one week your pathetic need to be the party queen is perfect."

While Helga got a few snickers from most of the boys, Zac seemed to have a hard time holding down his laughter. Helga assumed it was because he didn't know her and hadn't expected a comment like that, but she couldn't help but feel a little proud that he was literally shaking with laughter. His sister didn't seem amused though and gently smacked her brother's chest to make him stop laughing.

"So that's a deal then! Arnold's birthday party will be hosted by yours truly this year!" Rhonda declared after she was done glaring at Helga for her comment.

"She didn't even ask you." Helga whispered while the others celebrated the new plans.

"That's Rhonda for you." Arnold said with a semi-amused smile, but he couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. He had hoped that since he and Helga were almost, kind of, not really a thing he could have used his birthday as an excuse to get her to himself and celebrate alone with her. Not that he didn't want to party with everyone else, but this was the first reason for celebration since he and Helga had gotten together.

"Don't worry, Football Head." Helga said and leaned closer to Arnold. He could feel his cheeks flush from her being so close to him so suddenly. "We'll sneak off early or something."

Arnold blinked. "Uh… what?"

Helga rolled her eyes and rested her chin on her arms. "You were gonna ask me to celebrate with you, weren't you?"

"How… How did you know?"

"I know you. Also, your eyes were screaming it." Helga answered with a crooked smirk and swung her leg over the chair so she could face their classmates.

Arnold felt his whole body tingling and a loving smile spread on his face. "Thank you, Helga."

Helga simply waved at him, telling him it was no big deal, but to him it was.

* * *

When the school day ended, Arnold asked Helga if she wanted to join him in the park for an hour or two. It was soon going to get way too cold to enjoy the weather so he wanted to take the opportunity while he still could. He was still debating whether he could take her hand or not when they reached Mrs. Vitello's flower shop. She saw them and greeted them with a smile.

"Hello, Arnold and Helga."

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Vitello." Arnold said and awaited Helga's greeting, but her eyes were focused on something behind Mrs. Vitello. The elderly woman noticed it herself and turned to look behind her.

"Oh, you like the Gumamela flowers?"

"The what-a flowers?" Helga repeated in confusion.

"A Hibiscus, dear. But it's called a Gumamela by the Philippines." Mrs. Vitello said before she took one of the flowers and showed it to the blondes. "It's also the national flower of Haiti."

"It kinda looks like Helga." Arnold muttered before he could think.

"Yes, you're right!" Mrs. Vitello agreed and started chuckling.

Helga could feel the embarrassment flood through her. "Great. Now whenever I look at that flower, I'll think about that!" she huffed and kept walking.

Arnold chuckled for a moment, gazed at the pink and yellow flower once more and then waved Mrs. Vitello goodbye. He followed Helga who kept an unamused pout on her face through the whole walk and he decided it might not be the best time to try to hold her hand.

Arnold and Helga found a remote spot in Hillwood Park and lied down. Or rather, Helga lied down while Arnold went to a vending machine to get them some Yahoo sodas. The girl laid flat and unceremoniously on the grass while staring at the sky. She tried to turn the clouds' shapes into well-known objects, but her mind was elsewhere. She had a hard time getting over being compared to some silly flower. It was pretty and frail and those were not adjective she would use about herself. She knew it was kind of true; with her blonde hair and her pink dress the reason for the comparison was understandable, but she'd be damned if she was going to let Arnold think of her as some flower.

"Helga."

Helga shrieked in shock from Arnold's head suddenly blocking the sky. "Stupid Football Head, why do you always scare me like that?"

"You're jumpy, don't blame me." Arnold teased and gave her one of the cans.

Helga grabbed it begrudgingly, took a sip and then placed it next to the left side of her hip. Arnold sat down next to her, but facing the other direction and then lied down until they could face each other.

"Why do you wanna look at me upside-down?" Helga asked while she turned her head.

Arnold shrugged. "So we can see the clouds from opposite directions?"

Helga gave a funny look before shaking her head in abandonment and then looked at the sky again. "My creativity seems to be on a strike today. I can't see anything."

Arnold hummed and then pointed at the sky. "I see a cap!"

"I'll keep my comment to myself." Helga joked, flicked at Arnold's blue cap and then looked towards the sky, bending her neck. "Oh, yeah."

Arnold took his cap off and let it rest on his stomach. It was going to tip over and fall off anyway. It wasn't as well-glued to his head now as it was when he was a kid. He kept staring at the sky even when he noticed something even bluer looking at him. He felt shy under Helga's gaze and he wanted more than anything to ask her why she was looking at him instead of the clouds. For some reason, he felt too shy to do so. Also, she might stop if he pointed it out. It wasn't until some movement caught his eyes that he finally looked at her.

Helga had reached for Arnold, but flinched when his eyes met hers. She gulped and then reached for him again. Arnold stayed perfectly quiet, the same way you would if you were standing in front of something totally rare and amazing and was afraid to scare it off. Her hand touched his hair gently and she grinded her fingers against a lock of hair.

"Huh…" Helga said as casually as she could. "Thought it'd be rougher."

Arnold was completely frozen in place; he had no idea how to react. This was the first time Helga was touching his hair. The first time she was seeking physical contact that wasn't 100% safe and friendly. It was the weirdest thing ever.

"Please say something, bucko, it's awkward enough as it is." Helga begged, her teeth starting to chew on the inside of her bottom lip.

"Uh…" Arnold whispered, trying to think of something to say. "How long have you wondered about that?"

Helga shrugged. "It was just a random thought." She answered. "It smells fruity."

"Fruity?" Arnold repeated and then chuckled. "Oh, that's the shampoo grandma buys me. She says something about fruit being good for you."

"Yeah, if you _eat_ it… I don't know how hair feels about it." Helga argued, trying to chuckle, but it came out awkwardly and tensely.

"Coconut is good I think."

"Coconut could cure fucking cancer according to some people."

"You're exaggerating."

"For effect." Helga added with a smirk. "Seriously though, you should hear how some people sing its praises like if it's the pinnacle of every pseudo rock out there."

"Pseudo rock?" Arnold repeated and snickered. "I don't even know what to say to that."

"Then don't say anything. Better than saying something stupid." Helga answered, her eyes focused on Arnold's hair as she spoke. She kept playing with it, switching between twirling it between her fingers and rubbing her fingers on it.

Arnold gazed at Helga, enjoying the silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, more a nothing-needs-to-be-said silence. It was an oddly rare and tender moment and he could feel his heart swell with warmth and love. A dangerous desire entered his mind and he couldn't get rid of it.

 _I want to kiss her so badly…_ Arnold thought. _Can I?_

"Helga—"

"Arnold." Helga said at the same time and then looked at the blonde boy in surprise. They chuckled for a moment before she asked him if she could go first. "I've just been wondering something… again, I guess… Why is it that you… I—I mean, I'm not exactly very likable so…"

"Helga." Arnold semi-scolded.

"No, seriously, don't give me that. I'm really _not_. It's only people who have known me their whole lives who tolerate me." Helga argued with a bitter smile. "So I guess I'm just wondering… what the hell are you thinking?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean… I gotta wonder how much brain there's inside that big head of yours to feel that way about _me_. I've seen plenty of girls go cuckoo over your so I guess why me?"

"You're asking what I like about you."

"I guess?" Helga answered questioningly and gave a shrug. She looked at his hair again, still playing with it.

"Oh, my…" Arnold said, hid his face in his palm and grinned awkwardly. "Where do I even begin?"

"Very funny." Helga said with seething sarcasm.

"I'm not kidding." Arnold laughed, but Helga gave him a bit of a glare. "You're absolutely perfect to me."

Helga stared in mortification. "You're calling _me_ , of all people you know, _flawless_?"

"No, no." Arnold disagreed and waved his finger. "I said _perfect_ , not flawless."

"What's the difference?!" Helga asked in frustration.

"What we call flaws and imperfections are what makes us… well, _us_ and I think what makes you… _you_ is absolutely perfect." Arnold said nervously, but with an utterly loving smile on his face.

Helga could feel an unfamiliar heat flow around in her body and she didn't know what she was feeling. If it was horror, embarrassment or happiness or if it was all of the above. Her eyes squinted a bit and she didn't have it in her to look at him anymore. She knew he was going to continue talking. He had that look in his eyes he got whenever he was about to go into one of his longer speeches. He did that pretty often, but it was usually when he was going to motivate someone; not when he was listing the things he liked about that someone.

"Let's see… well, first of all I like your passion."

"You mean my seething anger?" Helga asked sarcastically.

"Well, sort of." Arnold answered honestly and gave a chuckle. "No, what I mean is that you don't do anything halfhearted. Everything you do you pour your heart into. You write poetry, you dance hiphop, you know so much about art and wrestling. You wrote, directed, composed and choreographed a musical, you won the Tri-City spelling bee, you tested the highest in the aptitude test, you went to the All-City Academic competition with Phoebe, you became the IT girl and _the most_ famous child model in USA in a week and all of that was in just 4th grade. Your heart belongs to so many things, but you love them all equally. Even if there's something you hate you do it well. Like the other day when Mrs. Oah told us to write that essay about World War II and you started cursing like a sailor. You hated every minute of it, but got an A+ for the assignment anyway."

"Well, I'm not gonna let some dumbass assignment take my GPA down!"

"Exactly!" Arnold agreed with a big grin. "And so many people in our class chose to do it lazily because they hated the assignment as much as you did. I think Phoebe's the only one who got an A+ too. That's something to be proud of; you tackle issues head on."

"Well… I think that says more about my stubbornness."

"Who says stubbornness is a bad thing?"

"The people who tell you to stop being so stubborn?" Helga suggested.

"Well, _I_ say stubbornness is a good thing because it shows how much you care."

"Spoken like a true cartoon hero." The girl replied sarcastically and resumed playing with his hair, mostly to distract herself from his next addition to the list.

"You love your family."

A glare was given.

"You love your sister and your mom." Arnold corrected. "Despite them annoying you to death, despite your mom's former drinking, your sister overshadowing you your entire life and how they both neglected you through your whole childhood… you love them. You're there for them and you get angry for them. How many times have you kicked out one of Miriam's abusive boyfriends?"

"You lose count at some point."

"Exactly. Miriam doesn't have the nerve to say stop so you do it for her even though you're the child. You were ready to kill Robert when you found out just how abusive he was towards Olga, and you still watch him like a hawk even though Olga insists he's really changed."

"People like that don't change so easily! I just want to make sure he keeps remembering how he used to be so he doesn't go back to that! I'm not gonna let him think he can go back to trample all over my sister!"

"And that's love, Helga. You wouldn't go that far for just anyone, would you?"

"It would be too much work." Helga argued.

"And speaking of too much work… have you ever counted how many times you've gotten me out of trouble?"

"You're Arnold Phillip Shortman, you've never been in trouble your whole life."

"Wrong." Arnold disagreed. "I've been in plenty of trouble and who have always been there to get me out of it? _You_."

Those words made Helga look into Arnold's eyes again despite having been avoiding them for the past minutes. She really didn't know why he was praising her so highly or how he even could. She sure wasn't as kind and amazing as he made her seem. She was violent, offensive and vulgar, she hated and mistrusted men, and she wasn't anything special. Why couldn't he see that?

"Remember when our class was gonna make a float and we were in need of money? You got us that. When your dad wanted to take down Mighty Pete and our treehouse you were there to stop it even though it would have been so much easier for you not to. Remember when I was looking for Mr. Hyunh's daughter? And who actually found her? You did. When I had the worst Thanksgiving ever, who came and pretended to be celebrating 4th of July with me and my family for my grandma's sake? You did. When Mr. Sheck was going to turn the neighborhood into a new mall, who got me and Gerald the information we needed to not just break into his building, but to get the document proving the neighborhood was protected? You did. And who went with me on a dangerous journey to find my parents in a jungle? _You_ did. And you have done all of those things and even more without me even asking you. You're an amazing person, Helga, and I wish you could see that."

Helga wasn't sure when she stopped playing with Arnold's hair, but she did. At some point she lost the ability to do anything else than just stare blankly while she absorbed every single word the boy in front of her spoke. He had listed everything he believed she should be proud of, things she had thought so little off. She had never done those things hoping to someday be praised for them. It hadn't even crossed her mind that they were worth praising to begin with. But here he was; the guy who saw all of her accomplishments and ignored all her misdeeds. He was the only person who had ever done that and that suddenly dawned on her like an anvil.

Arnold had been gazing at the grass, stuck in his own little bubble when he heard rustling from the lawn. He looked up and saw the way Helga was looking at him; it was a gaze he had fantasized about, but never thought he'd actually see. The rustling he could hear was from her moving closer to him and his eyes doubled in size when he saw the dark, pink blush on her cheeks. She had _never_ blushed in front of him before and he had a feeling she had never blushed, _period_.

"Helga, can I kiss you?" Arnold asked before he could think. Not that he was capable of using his brain anymore.

"What?" Helga whispered and tugged at Arnold's hair in surprise, but the pain was just a numb feeling to him.

"Please, can I kiss you?" Arnold begged and moved closer to the blonde girl who shriveled as if she was trying to hide behind her shoulders. She didn't move any further though, not even when she could feel his breath on her face. "Helga, if you don't tell me to stop soon I'm really gonna do it… I'm gonna kiss you… Helga—"

"Don't. Talk." The girl said sternly, speaking every syllable slowly while her breath was hitching in her throat. "And don't move… If you do I'll lose my nerve so don't say one single word."

Arnold closed his mouth and swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat within the last five seconds of him realizing that Helga was seriously considering letting him do it. She looked completely out of her comfort zone and like she might pass out at any moment, but she was really doing it; she was leaning in to kiss him. The lump he had just swallowed grew in his throat again and he decided to let it stay; his heart was already trying to suffocate him by planting itself in his throat anyway. What was a lump more or less?

Arnold stayed perfectly still like Helga had ordered, but she stopped and didn't move for the next 10 seconds. "You're… You're gonna have to go the rest of the way, Arnold. I'm way too—"

Arnold closed the space between them the moment he got the green light. Helga gave a gasp in total shock and moved back a bit, but stayed put once she felt his lips on hers. She stopped breathing and felt her muscles twitch under her skin. She had been kissed before, but never on her mouth. Not by her mother, not by her sister or anyone else. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and she wanted to roll around in the grass until she got this giddy, bubbly and scary feeling out of her system.

While Helga was having an inner war, Arnold felt like a man who had just been offered his favorite beverage after wandering the desert. Her lips were unbelievably soft against his and it was the most amazing feeling he had ever felt. Her mouth felt like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly against his. His heart finally settled back in his chest and he sighed through his nose, pressing a little more against her lips.

Helga was the one to pull away first, no surprise. Rather than being flushed, she seemed pale now. Arnold would have felt worried if he wasn't so consumed with his own happiness. He put his hand over hers, interlacing his fingers with hers and just smiled at her, hoping she would calm down soon. Color returned to her face rather quickly, but her lips stayed curled up and tense. After a while, she finally gave a sigh and hid her face behind her hand.

"Criminy… somehow, that's not how I thought it'd feel." She confessed. "Is my heart supposed to beat this fast?"

Arnold chuckled and put her hand against his own beating heart. "Mine is too."

Helga looked at their hands for a moment, feeling the rhythm of his heart against the back of her hand. "Cheesy." She commented, but visibly relaxed after that. A smile even grazed her features. "I need to get used to that."

"So… I can do it again?"

"Well, most people don't kiss just once, right?" Helga asked jokingly.

Arnold wasn't sure what came over him, but he leaned in and kissed Helga again. She gasped in surprise, but it wasn't as toe-curling as before. She moved backwards, said his name questioningly and was met with another kiss. She had a feeling that Arnold was having one of those moments where he was thinking with his heart and not his brain. It had happened before, just not around her. He usually kept his composure around her, but she figured he was feeling a little overwhelmed so she decided to let him have this moment. For about a ten seconds.

Helga tugged at Arnold's hair a little harshly and he gave a groan. "Calm down, bucko." She ordered and leaned back until she felt she was at a safe distance away from him. "I didn't say it had to be today."

"No, you just said you had to get used to it." Arnold joked and leaned back to show her he wasn't going to kiss her again.

Helga rolled her eyes and relaxed again. "That doesn't mean kissing until I get used to it. Everything in moderation, Football Head."

"So… a kiss a day?"

"Are we negotiating now?" Helga asked in disbelief. Arnold shrugged, unsure how to respond. "Um… a kiss a day sounds be ok. Just not in front of the others."

 _A kiss a day!_ Arnold thought and felt like he had just won the lottery. He tried to hide his happiness, but it was futile. He was a bad actor after all.

"You are such a dork, you know that?" Helga asked though it was more a statement than a question.

"Whatever you say, Helga." The boy replied, the grin never leaving his face. "You can say whatever you want right now, it won't make my smile go away."

"You're an idiot."

"Yep."

"A total basket case."

"You're right."

"And I hate you."

"I know you do."

"Whoa, you weren't kidding." Helga stated in awe before she started laughing loudly.

Arnold joined the laughing, holding his stomach while doing so. Who would have thought? After all those years of pining after Helga, of fantasizing about holding her and kissing her, he could finally see his goal in the horizon. For the first time in his almost 17 year old life, he felt like his dream might actually come true. He really had never felt happier.

* * *

Arnold was humming to himself while he drove to Rhonda's mansion. He hadn't been able to get this giddy feeling out his system ever since he shared his first kiss with Helga. His cheeks felt permanently red and when he got home that day, he had been interrogated by his family. He figured his happiness could have been seen from space because it took them five seconds to recognize something big had happened. Phil had thrown him into the air, Gertie had started a parade of marching cats and his parents had been smiling at each other in relief. It had officially been the best day in Arnold's life, right next to when Helga agreed to try to date him.

"Hey, Birthday Boy!" Gerald's voice called.

Arnold shook his head and realized he was already in Rhonda's mansion. "Hi there!"

"Happy birthday, buddy." Gerald said, hugged him and then did their secret handshake.

"Thanks. Is Helga here?"

"I'm never gonna be good enough again, am I?"

"Gerald, that's not what—"

"I'm kidding!" Gerald laughed and put his arm over Arnold's shoulders. "She's not here yet."

"She's not?" Arnold questioned in confusion. "She texted me and said something about coming here early to prepare some things with the other girls."

"You think she's got some big performance planned for you?" Gerald asked in a big grin. "Dancing? Comedy? Maybe even a poem?"

"I'm gonna faint if she does." Arnold said bluntly, but seemed happy at the thought. "It's weird she isn't here though. I'll go ask Rhonda if she's hiding somewhere."

"You lovesick puppy." The taller boy joked and patted at Arnold's back.

The birthday boy walked through the crowd of guests, politely greeting everyone while trying to find Rhonda. Once he did, he could see something was wrong. Rhonda was talking heatedly with the other girls who all looked worried. When they saw Arnold approaching they poked at Rhonda to stop her from talking.

"Hey, girls." Arnold said and frowned suspiciously. "What's going on?"

"Helga was supposed to come here earlier like the rest of us, but she hasn't come yet." Phoebe explained.

"And it's ruined the whole thing! We can't do this without Helga!" Rhonda complained. Nadine started patting her shoulder, but obviously just wanted her to be quiet so they could figure out where Helga was.

"That's really weird. She texted me and said she was on her way here like an hour ago…" Arnold muttered while looked at his phone. It suddenly started ringing, causing him to flinch and almost drop it. He asked Rhonda to turn off the music and once she had, he answered it. "Hello?"

"Good evening, is this Arnold Shortman?" a grown, female voice asked gently.

Arnold frowned at the unfamiliar voice and looked at his friends, who had all gathered around him, in confusion. "Yes, that's me. Who is this?"

"My name is Joy Knotz… D—Do you know someone named Helga Pataki? She has your number as her ICE number."

"I'm her ICE number?" Arnold asked in surprise, but when he saw the panicked faces around him, he realized what that meant. "Wait, what are you talking about? Why are you calling her ICE number?"

There was a pause at the phone and somehow, Arnold knew what the next words he was going to hear were. "Helga has been in an accident."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: … Don't hate me.**

 **Oh, and Joy Knotz' name is based on Nurse Joy from Pokemon and Knotz is the voice actress' last name.**


	7. Look at me like that

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **The class got new students, a pair of twins called Zoe and Zac, and Rhonda decided to turn Arnold's birthday party into a welcome party for them as well. Helga promised Arnold that they would sneak off later to celebrate his birthday privately.**_

 _ **Arnold and Helga went to the park while the weather would still let them and Helga asked Arnold what it was about her he liked anyway. His answer made her feel things she's never felt before and she let him kiss her for the first time and agreed for one kiss a day to help her get used to it.**_

 _ **Arnold's birthday party was lacking Helga's presence and they all realized why when Arnold got a call from the hospital.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I just got the funniest guest review ever; this person mocked Arnold for not** _ **even**_ **being able to protect Helga… OMG, I just can't, how stupid is that? X'D Sorry, buddy, but at this point you're just making yourself sound like someone without a brain ;D**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 7: "Look at me like that"

"How are you holding up, buddy?"

"How do you think?" Arnold mumbled, an empty look in his eyes. "I feel so guilty."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Sure feels like it. It was _my_ birthday she was going to."

"If you wanna blame someone, blame the guy who ran her over!"

"Gerald!" Arnold scolded and felt like crying from those words.

"Would you stop being so dramatic? It's not like she died." Rhonda stated while filing her nails.

"She _could_ have." Arnold argued and gave Rhonda one of his more hateful glares. As hateful as they could get coming from one of the kindest boys in town. "She's still at the hospital too."

"Yeah, but not forever…" Zoe interfered. "What was wrong with her anyway?"

"A really bad concussion."

"Do you usually have to stay at a hospital because of those?"

"Yes, if there's no one at home to take care of you or if there's a chance of cumulative concussions." Phoebe interfered. "And of course depending on how bad the concussion is. Helga was hit by a car, it's not like she just fell."

Zoe blinked in confusion. "Cum-a-what?" she asked, but Phoebe just shook her head. She didn't have it in her to explain it and Zoe didn't seem that interested. "Well, she'll be let out at some point, right?"

"Yeah… I think I'll go see her now." Arnold declared and stood up from the bench.

Arnold had already been to see Helga last night after he was called by the hospital, but he wanted to get straight back to her this morning. He decided he had to tell his classmates the details about Helga's health though so he had agreed to meet up with them first. Miriam had been beyond freaked out when he had called her as well and she was on her way home from the weekend vacation she had been planning for some time. She needed to get away from her job and Helga had suggested treating herself which also meant she got to have the apartment to herself so it was considered a win-win situation. At least until Helga needed someone to be around her 24/7, which was why she had been staying at the hospital since she got hit by the car. She was totally conscious, suffered no long-term harm and was totally pissed that she had to stay there. Arnold had calmed down the moment she told him to tell the dumbass nurses to let her out of the mental straitjacket they had put her in.

"Say hello from me." Phoebe said with a deer-like look in her eyes.

"From all of us." Gerald corrected and patted Arnold's back.

* * *

Arnold switched between having a spring in his step and dragging his feet on the sidewalk. He wanted to go see Helga as soon as possible, but he also felt utterly depressed. The fear he had felt when he got that call from nurse Joy Knotz was still so evident in his mind, but mostly in his heart. He had barely been able to tell the others what he had just heard because he had been so focused on getting to the hospital. When he finally got there and he saw that Helga was her usual, aggressive self, he had felt a sort of relief he would never feel again. After saying goodbye to her, agreeing he'd see her again tomorrow, he had stepped outside and started to sob uncontrollably. The panic and relief all washed over him at the same time and it took him a half hour before he finally got himself off the floor and to his car.

Arnold's family had been more than confused when he came home because he was supposed to be at his birthday party. Somehow he had forgotten that part too. When he told them what had happened, he had started crying again. While Phil and Gertie comforted him, Stella and Miles hadn't known what to do. It was no secret that they didn't care for Helga, but their son did and that made them feel sorry for him. It was different for Phil and Gertie though; they knew Helga in ways Stella and Miles never could and they loved her in ways they'd never understand. Arnold had felt so grateful for his grandparents right then. He couldn't imagine being alone with his parents at such a moment.

Arnold was about to walk past Mrs. Vitello's flower shop when his eyes were caught by the sight of a familiar flower. He halted and went straight towards the flower, smiling at it. It took him about two seconds to decide buying a bouquet of them. When Mrs. Vitello told him the price of a bouquet though he realized he had to buy just one. He didn't have the money for an entire bouquet at the moment, but the single flower would send the message just as well.

It didn't take Arnold very long to get to the hospital, both because it wasn't very far away and he was running. He found Helga's room easily and knocked on the door. A female voice told him he could come in and he was met by the sight of Helga in the hospital bed with nurse Joy next to her. He also noticed the amount of flower bouquets around her bed. They were all big, gorgeous and totally overshadow his tiny little flower.

"Hey, Football Head." Helga greeted and waved at nurse Joy. "Are we done now?"

"Yes, Miss Pataki." Nurse Joy replied with a smile and walked past Arnold, flashing him a warm smile as well before she left.

"What was that about?" Arnold asked while he approached the bed.

"She was taking some tests… my temperature… my blood… my patience, I have no fucking idea. These people come running like every hour. I've never gotten that much attention before."

"How does it feel?"

"It sucks." Helga sneered. "I can't believe I complained about the lack of attention as a kid. I'm gonna apologize to Miriam once she gets home. She calls all the time by the way. I finally had to tell her that I'll block her number so she can enjoy her freaking vacation already. I don't get the fuss."

"You were a hit by a car, Helga. It _is_ worth a big fuss and—Why are you looking at me like that?" Arnold asked when he realized Helga was leaning to the side to try to look behind him.

"What are you hiding?" the blonde girl asked.

Arnold remembered the Gumamela flower and started stuttering, trying to find an excuse, but Helga's reflexes were quicker than his brainpower. She grasped it out of his hand and gawked at it once she recognized what it was.

"I—I just… I saw it on my way here and I just felt like buying it… I didn't realize you already had your very own indoor garden." Arnold joked, trying to direct the attention away from the measly flower.

Helga kept gazing at the flower. "You're such a… I can't believe you… Cheesy dork." She finally settled with and clicked on a button. Nurse Joy came in a few seconds later and Helga showed her the flower. "Any chance you could find a small vase for this?"

Nurse Joy smiled brightly. "Of course." She said before leaving the room again.

"Can you move that bouquet for me?" Helga asked while bopping her head towards the most gorgeous bouquet of them all.

Arnold didn't know what to say so he just did what Helga asked him to. "Who sent these?" he asked while he observed the pink flowers. "Let me guess; Olga?"

"Ding-ding-ding." Helga said in a grin. "After you called mom, she called sister so sister came with her husband. Aren't they ridiculous?"

"They look big… and expensive." Arnold answered.

"Exactly. She bought me flowers _she_ would want. Even when she's being nice she's being selfish." Helga joked and twirled the Gumamela flower around.

Arnold couldn't help but smile as he pointed at a different bouquet. "What about those? Miriam?"

"Yep."

"What about all the others?"

"Oh, um, some of mom's colleagues mostly… and Dr. Bliss."

"Your psychologist? Why is she sending you flowers?"

"Well… I had to call her because Joy told me I wasn't going to be able to attend my sessions with her for some time and then I got these flowers like an hour later with a get well card." Helga explained speedily.

Arnold wasn't sure if he wanted to ask this, but he felt like he had to. "Has anyone… called your dad?"

"Who?" Helga asked without a hint of hesitation. When Arnold gave her a look she sighed. "Why the hell would anyone call him?"

"Well… he _is_ still your father. Maybe this would make him change?"

"And so what if he did, Arnold? Does that magically make everything he did to me, Miriam and Olga go away?" Helga asked, her eyes brimming with hurt and anger that was so familiar to Arnold.

"No… no, it doesn't." Arnold agreed.

Helga chewed on her bottom lip while she gazed at the flower again. "You know… sometimes when I think of him… and I don't do that very often… but when I do all I can really think about is… the last time I saw him."

"That's understandable." Arnold said softly and sat on the bed.

"Sometimes I even imagine what would have happened if I really had… if I had… gone through with it." Helga whispered, the words trembling on her lips. "If I had really killed him."

The silence felt thick with the heaviness of those words. Arnold knew all too well how close Helga had been to make that a reality. Bob never had a history of violence, but when Miriam told him she wanted a divorce that day, something inside him snapped. He hadn't just thrown a tantrum, he had thrown everything. Every piece of furniture that got in his way was thrown in random directions. Helga had come down from her room when she heard the spectacle and was met with the sight of Miriam being hit by a vase. Bob hadn't meant to hit her, Miriam told Helga that later, but something inside Helga snapped as well.

Miriam may never have been the perfect parent either, but she had tried in ways Bob never had. While Miriam's only flaw was being drunk and weak, Bob was indifferent and uncaring. What little love Helga had for her mother at that age bubbled into rage when she saw what she thought was her mom being attacked. She had jumped her dad, stopping him from throwing the next innocent furniture and he had tumbled to the ground. Helga could barely remember what happened after that, but she believed Miriam when she said she had tried to strangle him. All Helga remembered was the blind rage that came from all the years of misery.

Miriam had managed to pull Helga off Bob and he had stormed off, calling them both psychopaths and never came back. The divorce had gone smoothly after that, Bob getting everything easily from Miriam who couldn't afford a proper lawyer. Olga had helped them pay for an apartment while Miriam got sober and a job. Olga still paid a bit of the rent, but Miriam had taken over the majority as time went by. None of them had contacted Bob since then and he hadn't contacted any of them either. There was nothing to be said after everything that had happened.

"You don't mean that." Arnold whispered. "You don't wish you would have killed him."

"No, but I wish I could be 100% sure that I'd never have to see him again." Helga confessed, her eyes blank like a fish's eyes. "Just knowing that he's still out there… still alive and probably living like the king he thinks that he is… it's enough to make my blood run cold."

Arnold was about to say something when nurse Joy walked back in, holding a small vase in her hand. She put it down on the nightstand, understanding exactly where Helga wanted to place it without having to ask. She nodded her head at the blondes before she left them alone again. Helga looked at the flower once more before she put it in the vase. Arnold smiled at the sight of it being the closest flower to where she slept, but was pulled back to reality when he felt her rest her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so tired, you won't believe it…"

"Yeah?" Arnold muttered and started caressing her head gently, minding where she was hurt.

"I've vomited like three times… and I actually forgot my own name this morning."

"Wow… you sure you're not just hungover?" Arnold asked and was rewarded with a smack to his chest. He couldn't help but chuckle and Helga joined him. "I was so afraid when I got that call."

"I'm sorry."

Arnold flinched violently at those words and Helga gawked at him like he was insane. "I think that's the first time I ever heard you say that."

Helga blinked. "Huh?"

"You've never apologized to me before… for anything." Arnold said in wonder and made an awkwardly crooked smile. "Including when you threw me in the pool at the April Fool's dance."

"Oh, and this is coming from the same mouth that said I was an amazing person?" Helga said sarcastically. "One time's gotta be the first."

"Huh…" Arnold whispered and gave Helga's temple a kiss. "You just got even more amazing."

Helga felt heat puddle in her cheeks, but she didn't say anything. "I really am sorry for ruining your birthday."

"You didn't ruin my birthday!"

"Yeah, right. You got that call from the hospital while you were at your birthday party, as if that's not gonna haunt someone like you for the rest of your life."

"It was scary, but you're alive and mostly functioning so I'll be fine."

"W—W-What do you m—mean m—mostly fun—fun—functioning?" Helga said in a robotic voice.

Arnold chuckled, relieved to see Helga's usual humor. "Well, I think I should let you sleep. You look totally exhausted." he said, caressed her head one last time and then got up from the bed.

"Arnold." Helga called and he stopped walking. "Are you just gonna go?"

Arnold looked from side to side in confusion. "Yes?" he asked rather than answered.

"Haven't you… forgotten something?"

Arnold's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He looked around him, down at himself and then back at Helga. When he saw her biting her lower lip, he finally realized. He made a nervous chuckle and walked back to the bed. He leaned down to her level and put his hands on the bed. They gazed at each other nervously before they silently decided to just close their eyes and kiss before it got too awkward.

The shivering Arnold had felt from Helga's lips the first time he had kissed her was gone by now. She was still a complete wreck before and after a kiss, but during it she was almost calmer than he was. This time the kiss was interrupted abruptly though when she leaned unnaturally close to him. He leaned to the side and she almost fell forward, but he had enough time to catch her.

"Helga!" Arnold called in fear and put her back on the bed. When she opened her sleep-muddled eyes, he chuckled in relief. "Go back to sleep, I'm begging you."

"Ok…" Helga whispered before her eyes closed and she fell asleep almost instantly.

Arnold caressed her cheek gently before he left her to her slumber. He sighed in relief once he was outside. Helga was still her old self from before the accident, but she was still so weak from the concussion and the sudden dizziness and fatigue proved that. He was still worried, but he refused to let it overpower him. He had to be strong for Helga's sake. That and she would kill him if she found out he was as worried as he was.

* * *

Arnold was trying to be polite and listen to Zoe's tale of her and her family's trip to London over the summer. She was a nice girl, but she talked. _A lot_. And Arnold may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but even he could recognize a crush when he saw one. Helga hadn't been wrong when she had asked him if he didn't have girls crushing on him once in a while and that had made him more observant of the signs. Zoe definitely liked him though he couldn't understand why. He wouldn't consider himself her type, she didn't seem all that interested in getting to know him and her brother hated him. Perhaps _hated_ was a strong word, but it was obvious he didn't like him at least.

"Have you ever been to London, Phillip?"

Arnold frowned. "No, I haven't traveled that much… You know, Zoe, my name is _Arnold_."

"Yeah, but Phillip's your middle name, right?"

"Yeah, but no one calls me that."

"Then that makes me special, right?" Zoe asked and gave a crooked grin Arnold was sure would have been charming to someone else. But not him.

 _Not sure if that's the word I'd use…_ Arnold thought and tried to look towards Gerald so he could send him a secret signal to make him save him. Gerald didn't see him, but Arnold's eyes caught something else. His eyes went wide as he recognized the girl entering the classroom. "Helga!"

Arnold's outburst caused the others to turn and look at the door and see Helga there, wearing a weak smile. "Hey, guys." She spoke calmly.

Arnold got up from his seat, leaving Zoe totally forgotten and joined his classmates in saying hello to Helga. She seemed tired and while she never cared much about her appearance, it was clear that she hadn't even had it in her to style or comb her hair. She hadn't been there for morning classes and lunch period was over soon, but she was there. It was almost weird to have her back, but so relieving.

"Are you sure you should be here, Helga?" Phoebe asked worriedly.

"I need to start off slow and I think I can handle one English class." Helga replied and looked in Arnold's direction. "So _no_ fussing, got it?"

Helga wasn't even trying to be subtle about who she was talking to. Everyone even turned to grin at Arnold who felt his cheeks flush from embarrassment. So he was worried, sue him! He had never seen Helga physically weak before, it was the scariest thing he had ever seen. He didn't want to see that again and she clearly wasn't fully rested even now. He lifted a flat hand as if taking a vow, but he promised himself to at least keep an eye on her. It would be easy since she was sitting right in front of him.

Mrs. Oah entered the class right then and immediately noticed Helga. "Miss Pataki, good to have you back. You seem a bit tired though, are you sure you should be here?"

"Oh, I wouldn't miss your English class for the world, Mrs. Oah." Helga said sarcastically, but most people in her class knew it was true. English was Helga's favorite subject and the easiest A+ she always got.

"You're well enough to joke around so I'm going to trust you on that." Mrs. Oah said with a smile and headed towards her desk.

The rest of the class went to sit down as well and Arnold made sure to stay behind Helga to watch her. Once she was seated, he sat down as well, but not a moment before. When Mrs. Oah started the lesson, he did his best to listen, but his eyes never moved to the whiteboard even once. It didn't take the observant Mrs. Oah long to notice.

"Mr. Shortman."

Arnold flinched and finally looked at his teacher. "Yes, Mrs. Oah?"

"Please move your desk next to Miss Pataki's desk."

"What? Why?" Helga asked in disbelief.

"Because he keeps staring at you, Miss Pataki, instead of following the lesson." Mrs. Oah answered with a wicked grin, causing the rest of the class to start snickering.

"What?!" Helga bellowed in shock and turned around to gawk at Arnold. "Are you kidding me, Shortman?"

 _Shortman… She's really angry._ Arnold thought and felt himself shrink into his seat.

"Mr. Shortman, move your desk next to Helga's." Mrs. Oah ordered once more. "That way you can watch her and focus on class the same time. Frankly, I'll be more comfortable with someone right next to her too."

" _No fussing_ , I said, but does anybody listen? No!" Helga hissed to herself while Arnold moved his desk next to hers. As soon as he was seated she sent a glare his way before looking at the whiteboard again.

Arnold didn't like that Helga wasn't happy with him, but he was happy he was right next to her. It made him feel calmer. If she were to start feeling dizzy he could catch her easily. He tried to keep his eyes at the whiteboard, but his eyes automatically went towards Helga most of the time. He was actually following the lesson now, but his top priority was still her.

"At least _I_ couldn't see you when you were behind me."

"Huh?" Arnold whispered and turned his head towards Helga who was glaring at him.

"Don't think I don't see you looking at me, Shortman. It's distracting so stop it!" she hissed and looked back at the whiteboard.

"How do you know I'm looking at you?" Arnold whispered in surprise. He thought he had been so discreet.

"It's called peripheral vision, bucko, those of us with _normal_ -sized heads have it." Helga hissed and kept her eyes at the whiteboard the whole time.

Arnold flinched at the harsh tone in her voice, not that he hadn't expected it. Helga didn't like being fussed over; it made her feel weak and that was a feeling she hated more than anything. He decided to keep his eyes on the whiteboard as much as he could, but it grew more and more difficult as the lesson went on. At some point, he saw Helga not just roll her eyes, but entire head in frustration. She readjusted herself in the chair so her back was turned to Arnold. He sighed when he thought she was doing so to avoid him, but then she leaned down until her head was resting on his shoulder.

"Better?" Helga whispered in frustration. "I won't fall far if I'm already lying down so _please_ just look at the fucking whiteboard now."

Arnold's heart was practically pounding at his ribcage from Helga not just being this close to him, but while everyone in their class could see them. He looked around, counting the smirks he saw from his classmates and then looked at the whiteboard. He whispered a quick thank you to Helga and she snorted at him. The rest of the lesson went by smoothly, Arnold feeling much calmer knowing Helga couldn't fall far when she was resting on him. He had perhaps been too calm because when the lesson was over, he realized Helga felt very heavy on him.

"Helga?" Arnold whispered and shook her. She fell to the side to his chest and he realized her eyes were closed. "Helga!"

"Mr. Shortman, what's wrong?" Mrs. Oah asked and approached the blondes.

"Helga, wake up." Arnold begged and clapped her cheek. When she opened her eyes, he sighed in relief. "Did you fall asleep?"

"Um… not sure." Helga answered honestly and tried to sit up, but the room began spinning and she fell back in Arnold's arms. "But I might faint soon."

"I knew you got out of bed too early." Arnold groaned and moved Helga's arm over his shoulders. He helped her stand up and she almost tripped, but he kept her steady. "I'm taking you straight home."

"Ok…" Helga whispered and the lack of fight in her worried him.

"Gerald, could you please join them?" Phoebe asked and put her hand on Gerald's arm, her secret weapon to get him to do what she wanted. "I'm worried about her and I'd feel so much better if you both went with her."

"If Helga's fine with it?" Gerald asked, gesturing towards the blonde girl who were looking at them over her shoulder. She gave a sigh and shrugged. She clearly wasn't fond of it, but she had no fight in her at all. Gerald gave Phoebe a quick kiss and then followed the blondes out of the classroom.

"Ain't she lucky." Zoe said somewhat bitterly. "She's being walked home by the two hottest guys in class. Makes you wonder if she's really feeling that sick."

Patty smirked at Zoe. "I like you, Zoe, but don't talk about Helga like you know her. She's not the type of person to fake being sick, and especially not for something as shallow as that. She's not _you_."

Zoe sneered at Patty, but she kept grinning at her. Zac's shoulder were shaking with laughter, but he had seemed pretty unhappy with the situation before as well. He patted his twin sister's shoulder and she leaned back in her chair though she was still glaring in Patty's direction.

Outside in the parking lot, Arnold was still holding Helga steady while Gerald was following them dutifully. "Maybe we should take my car?" he suggested.

"Good idea." Arnold agreed even though Helga gave a grunt in disapproval. "I know you like the Packard, Helga, but Gerald's car drives more smoothly."

"And it's less noisy." Gerald added.

"Hey!"

"Fine, but Arnold sits in the backseat with me." Helga said.

"Uh… sure, that's what I figured." Gerald said in confusion and looked at Arnold who seemed slightly confused as well, but mostly flattered that Helga would request something like that. "Well, in you go."

Arnold helped Helga inside though she didn't seem happy about the situation anymore. She wasn't happy with it to begin with, but she felt weak enough to let it slide. Now she felt better and was more ashamed of herself than anything else. She hated needing help. It was bad enough getting help from Arnold, but from another person as well? She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Or better, get run over again and make it permanent.

 _Whoa, that was grim_. Helga thought and shivered.

"You cold?" Arnold asked while putting the seatbelt on her. "Come here."

"No, Arnold, I'm fine." Helga insisted, but was pulled into Arnold's embrace anyway. She scowled deeply, but didn't struggle. She decided to stay put for once and let Arnold do whatever the hell he wanted to. That didn't mean she didn't notice Gerald smirking at them in the rearview mirror. She stuck her tongue out at him, too tired to flip him off.

* * *

While they were driving, Arnold noticed that Helga was running a fever. Perhaps that was to blame for her faintness and had nothing to do with the concussion. It was a possibility at least and he'd love to think that was the reason because that meant she didn't have to go back to the hospital when she was finally out. He and Gerald helped Helga into her room and she sighed in relief once she was lying down.

"Want something to eat?" Arnold asked while he tucked her in.

"You're doing a great job at making me feel like a sick person."

"I'm sorry, I—"

"Kidding, kidding. Can you make me Gertie's raspberry pie?' Helga asked with a mischievous grin.

"Pie?" Arnold repeated in disbelief.

"Fine. Make me something healthy and disgusting."

"Coming right up." Arnold said happily and got up from the floor. "Watch her for me, will you?"

"She can watch herself." Gerald said in discomfort, but he stayed put in the doorframe.

Once Arnold left, they looked awkwardly at each other. Gerald and Helga had always tolerated each other since Gerald was dating Phoebe and Helga was friends with Arnold. Still, they had never really gotten along and had never been alone together either.

Helga snorted in threw her arms on the bed. "Are you just gonna stand there?"

"Are you just gonna lie there?" Gerald rebutted, but regretted his words instantly. "Sorry… It's just weird."

"I know. I think so too." Helga admitted. "But I refuse to let it stay that way, I'm sick of it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! I've known you for as long as I've known Arnold, you're dating my best friend, we're classmates… I—I'm sick of being awkward around you and… everyone else."

"Everyone else being the other boys?"

"Or whatever…" Helga said vaguely and sighed. "Look… if this… _thing_ between me and Arnold is going to work, I… need to make it work with you too."

To say that Gerald was in shock would be an understatement. Helga was less than thrilled when he started dating her best friend and even tried to break them up at the beginning. It took him months to really prove to her that he wasn't going to hurt Phoebe and she finally gave them their blessing. Which was something Gerald usually wouldn't care about, but given Helga's abrasive personality and how much Phoebe cared about her opinion, he was beyond relieved when she finally accepted them. It made life so much easier. Not that she ever cared for him, she only tolerated him. For her to say she wanted to get along with him was a huge step. One he just couldn't help but laugh at.

"Why are you laughing?" Helga asked, scowling as much as her energy would let her.

"It's just ironic… when Phoebe and I started dating, you did all you could to break us up and now, when you and Arnold are dating, you want to get along with me."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Helga said warningly. "Don't misunderstand me, Brown Sugar. I'm doing this for Arnold."

"Brown Sugar? Are you kidding me, Pataki?" Gerald asked in surprise, but the look on Helga's face told him she knew something he thought only he and Phoebe knew. He scratched his neck awkwardly. "Only Phoebe gets to call me that."

Helga laughed heartily, but started coughing right after. "I feel like hell…" she admitted.

"You look like hell." Gerald responded which Helga huffed at. "No, seriously. I mean, you've never cared much about how you look, but you look really sick right now."

Helga turned her head and looked at Gerald. "Really?"

"Yeah. You're pale, your eyes are bloodshot and your hair looks like a bird nest."

"Thanks for the list." Helga said in annoyance.

Gerald simply grinned at her before Arnold entered the room, carrying a tray. "How are you, Helga?"

"Do I really look that sick?" Helga asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

Arnold blinked at Helga in surprise while he put the tray down. "Um… well, yeah?" he answered, unsure what she was asking exactly. Helga frowned for a moment before she grabbed the duvet and hid herself under it. "What are you doing?"

"Could you… just leave the food and then go?" Helga asked in a muffled voice.

Arnold looked at Gerald in shock, who seemed oddly suspicious of the situation, and then back at Helga. "Why? Shouldn't I stay?"

"No, I'll be fine." Helga insisted.

"Shouldn't I at least help you eat?"

"I said I'd be fine! I just… don't want you looking at me right now, ok?"

Gerald gave a loud snicker. He muffled it behind his hand, but Arnold heard it and gave him a curious look. What did he know that he didn't? Arnold wanted to insist that he should stay with Helga. He had taken care of her before when she was sick; Miriam usually didn't have time to do that because of her busy schedule and back when she was still together with Bob, she was too drunk to do even notice her child being sick. Why was Helga being so weird about this all of a sudden?

"Helga, I really think—"

"Arnold, let's just go." Gerald interrupted. "Helga needs to sleep anyway."

"But the food—"

"She can eat herself." Gerald said and pulled at Arnold's arm. He got him up from the floor and dragged him towards the door. "We'll be in the living room, Helga. Call if you need us."

"Yeah." Helga replied under the duvet before the boys left her room. She threw the duvet off her and sighed in relief. "Too hot!"

Once they were in the living room, Gerald clapped Arnold excitedly on his chest. "Congratulations!"

"Are you kidding me?" Arnold asked in surprise. "How is this a good thing? I've always been there to take care of Helga, now she doesn't even want me near her when she's feeling bad."

"That's a good thing!"

"What is it I'm missing here?"

Gerald wrapped his arm over Arnold's shoulders. "Helga suddenly cares about her appearance, Arnold." he explained, but Arnold obviously still didn't understand. "She cares about what she looks like when you're looking at her. She's never cared about that before, right?"

"Right."

"So what does that tell you?"

Arnold blinked slowly. "Helga cares about… looking good around me?"

"Atta boy!" Gerald mused and shook Arnold's shoulders.

"Wait, wait, wait. This is Helga we're talking about. She doesn't care about things like that!"

"Oh, please. _Everyone_ cares about things like that… if they're around the person they like at least." Gerald said, wiggled his eyebrows and sat down in the couch.

Arnold felt a blush spread his cheeks. "You really think she's starting to look at me like that?"

"Why else would she suddenly care, bucko?"

Arnold frowned. "That only works when Helga says it."

Gerald started laughing wholeheartedly and Arnold couldn't help but join him. He felt so unbelievably happy. What if it were true? What if Helga really was starting to see him like that, even if just a little bit? Small steps. He'd been waiting for 17 years, he could wait several more if he had to.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: I have nothing to say! Um… I guess Zoe and Zac's reason for existing are starting to become clearer? xD**


	8. Personal Ragnarok

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **Arnold had been frightened to death when he had been called up by the hospital. Helga had been in a car accident, but had only suffered a bad concussion. She was to stay at the hospital under observation, mostly due to her mother being away on vacation and Helga refusing to let her come home to take care of her.**_

 _ **When Helga came back, she was still a bit weak and Arnold still very worried. When she either fainted or fell asleep on Arnold's shoulder, he and Gerald took her home together. While Arnold made some food for her, she and Gerald got to talk.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: A guest reviewer asked if Helga was acknowledging that she is dating Arnold. Um, not really as such no. She's slowly getting used to the thought, but the keyword is slowly. She's trying very hard and so far she hasn't been met with anything negative about dating Arnold since he's very patient and doesn't pressure her. That doesn't mean she fully sees herself as his girlfriend yet.**

 **I know people would like to think that Helga has been in love with him all this time and been in denial or that she's already falling hard for him, but the reality is that she is** _ **not**_ **. That's the purpose of this story, to have Arnold fight for Helga. The overall concept of this is to see a love story where one is so much more in love than the other. It's about the struggle of trying to get someone to fall in love with you. If Helga was already falling that much for Arnold, there wouldn't be much story left and trust me, this is a long-term story. It's not gonna be nearly as short as my former** _ **Strangers like me**_ **or** _ **Boring**_ **. This is going to be much longer so just keep that in mind. There wouldn't be much story left if Helga had already reached that point, right?**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 8: "Personal Ragnarok"

"What are you looking—"

Helga's shriek drowned Arnold's voice and he instinctively dropped to the floor before Helga's hand came swinging at him. She still swatted his head though and he leaned back up, grinning at her. She shook her head at him, silently scolding him for scaring her for about the millionth in their lives. She looked back at her phone while Arnold stayed on his knees next to her desk.

"What are you looking at?" Arnold finished his question and leaned over her shoulder to take a look. He read the title of a test out loud: " _Which pet would be best for you?_ You want to get a pet, Helga?"

Helga shrugged. "I'm not really sure yet… After my accident, Miriam apologized a million times for not being there for me. I told her it was no big deal, but she insisted I must feel lonely sometimes being all alone in the apartment. Long story short, she suggested I get a pet to keep me company. Seems more like extra work to me." she replied and answered the next question on the phone. "I don't know what I'd get anyway so I'm taking this test just to see what some random stranger thinks fits me."

Arnold thought about it for a moment. "I think you should get a cat."

Helga frowned, her eyes staying on her phone. "Why a cat?"

"Well, cats are cute, obviously."

"Obviously."

"They don't need a lot of attention so you can leave them home alone when you go to school without any problems."

"But cats are so unreliable!" Helga argued and forgot her phone for a moment. "One second they're all cuddly and sweet, the next they're clawing at you until you bleed."

Arnold shook his head. "Not if you make them trust you! And that's kinda what makes them great too. You need to win them over so once they love you they'll never let you go."

"I think a dog might be easier." Helga insisted, answered the last question on her phone and smirked. "Seems like this test agrees with me. I'm more fit for a dog."

Arnold shook his head. "It needs too much attention. The second you leave your home they're going to wreck everything."

"Same could be said for cats!" Helga argued. "I'd rather want an animal that'll break my things than _me_. Besides, it's about training. Dogs are easier to train so I can make it do whatever the hell I want. Cats are too independent."

"But that's exactly it; isn't it boring with an animal that'll just follow your every word?"

"You're kidding. Does it sound fun to have a pet you can't trust?"

"You _can_ trust it!"

"The hell you can't!"

"You know!" Phoebe interrupted in as loud a voice as she could muster. Arnold and Helga looked towards her, realizing their argument had gotten the attention of every classmate in the room. Phoebe smiled at them. "It's ironic that you're discussing this old argument about which is better between dogs and cats. Yesterday, I read a very interesting article about people who prefer one over the other."

"What did it say?" Eugene asked curiously.

"It said something about cat lovers being masochistic and dog lovers being sadistic." Phoebe explained.

Everyone in the room blinked twice before most started laughing. Arnold and Helga just frowned at each other. "What are you saying?" they asked in unison.

"Well, I just find it ironic that Helga prefers dogs and Arnold prefers cats." Phoebe explained with a bit of a mischievous grin.

"They're living proof that it's true!" Harold laughed

"I am _not_ a masochist!" Arnold yelled in embarrassment.

"And I… want to know the scientific studies behind that." Helga said. When Arnold looked at her in surprise, she shrugged. "I'm not gonna lie; I love bullying you, Football Head."

Arnold felt his cheeks redden and shook his head. "I don't think that's what the article meant about being sadistic, Helga."

"Actually, it was." Phoebe interfered. "It wasn't sexual, but more about personalities. Cat lovers tend to be kinder, more loyal and more submissive. While dog lovers tend to be more stubborn, aggressive and dominant."

"And what are the arguments for that?"

"Well, given that cats are indeed more unreliable than dogs then an owner of a cat has to accept the fact that they'll never be the master in their own house again. The cat usually takes over and forces its owner into submission. While people owning a dog might feel a sense of superiority because a dog will listen to their every command."

"Oh, what bullshit." Helga insisted, but couldn't help but think that those particular adjective probably fit her and Arnold in the long run. "Maybe I should think of a third option."

"There's plenty of other animals out there." Zac said and leaned over Helga's phone to look at what other answers she could have gotten from the test. "How about a pig?"

"No thank you, I have enough pig in Arnold." Helga replied bluntly.

"How rude!" Zoe said in disbelief.

Arnold laughed. "That's not what she means, Zoe. She's talking about Abner."

"Abner?"

"I have a pet pig."

"Oh, that's so cute!" Zoe cried out happily, her eyes practically twinkling. "Is it one of those teacup piglets?"

"No, it's a fully grown pig, not some underfed baby." Helga argued. "You do know those teacup piglets grow up, right? There's no such thing as a mini pig. It's all a big hoax."

"It is not!" Zoe said, clearly offended.

"Actually, it is." Phoebe interfered. "What you call teacup pigs are merely pigs who are so underfed that they stay small for a long time. It's very unhealthy for them and they will either die from starvation or grow into the fully grown pigs you know already."

Zoe looked totally heartbroken and glared at Helga like it was her fault. "Maybe you shouldn't get a pet if you don't know what to get anyway."

"Of course she should get a pet, Zoe. She just needs to figure out what suits her." Zac argued and pointed at a picture. "What about a hamster?"

"Too small. I'd end up crushing it by accident." Helga answered.

Zoe huffed. "By accident?"

Both Zac and Helga sent her a glare, but ignored her beyond that.

"What about a snake? Those are cool." Sid suggested.

Helga's nose cringed. "I'd prefer something that won't try to eat me."

"Pet snakes don't eat you!"

"Wanna bet, Big Nose?" Helga threatened and Sid glared at her.

"How about a bunny?" Lila suggested. "They are so cute and cuddly and pretty and—"

"No offense, Lila, but I have a feeling you'd come visit me a little too often if I got a rabbit."

"A bird." Arnold said quietly, but loud enough for Helga to hear him. "How about a bird?"

"A bird?" Helga repeated the word as if she'd never heard of birds before.

"Yeah. It's the right size, you can pet it and play with it and they're supposed to make great companions." Arnold listed with a smile.

"You know, I think that sounds great, Helga." Phoebe said. "A bird seems like a fitting pet for you."

"A bird…" Helga repeated again and smiled at Arnold. "I think you're right. It sounds perfect. Now I just need to read up on how to take care of one."

While Helga studied birds online, Arnold stayed next to her. They would occasionally comment on something they read about, laugh and joke about random facts they learned about the different bird species. Most classmates had moved on from Helga's pet problem and gone back to their own business, except for Zac and Zoe who were watching the two blondes until class started again.

* * *

Later, once lunch period had started, Zoe asked Helga if she could talk to her. Helga hadn't been remotely interested, having already gotten a bad impression of the girl, but she had practically dragged her away from Arnold and to a secluded place in the hallway. The girls stood across each other for a moment, waiting for the other to talk first. Zoe lost her patience first.

"What is your relationship with Arnold?"

The question surprised Helga. She had never been asked that kind of question since everyone in class already knew of their unique, complicated situation. Frankly, Helga didn't know how to answer at all. She told Arnold she wanted to try and get closer to him, that she wanted to see if it was possible for her to fall in love with him. So far, there hadn't been much success. She still felt generally the same around him, it was mostly just the fact that she knew about his feelings that was the big change between them. That, and that one kiss a day that she still felt uncomfortable with. What do you call a relationship like that? Helga didn't know so she decided it was none of Zoe's business.

"Why do you want to know?" Helga asked.

"Because while you were away… Phillip and I have gotten to know each other." Zoe said confidently.

 _Phillip?_ Helga thought in confusion. "How nice for you." She said and smirked. "I've known him since he wore a diaper."

Zoe sneered. "Listen to me, Geraldine. I don't know what kind of relationship you two have, but it sure does seem a little mismatched, don't you think?"

"My name is Helga and I'll tell you what seems mismatched; you thinking that your words mean anything to me at all."

"Oh, yeah? What if I told you I like him, huh? Still doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Not really, no."

"It should. You've seen the way the other boys look at me, right?"

"The keyword being the _other_ boys."

Zoe scoffed. "I can easily change Arnold's mind. I mean, look at me and then look at you. You wouldn't exactly win a beauty pageant, would you?"

"Does it hurt your back to kiss your own ass like that?" Helga asked with a crooked grin. "So you've been in beauty pageants or was that just an example?"

"I've actually won quite a few." Zoe said cockily.

"It's a good thing you don't need to be very smart to win those, isn't it?" Helga asked. "Your brain is so small that if a cannibal decided to crack your skull open there wouldn't be enough to cover a biscuit."

"You don't know anything about my brain!"

"I think the fact that you think that Europe is a single country says enough!" Helga rebutted and lifted her hand to stop Zoe from answering that. "I can feel my brain cells dying just from talking to you, so just tell me what the hell you want."

Zoe calmed herself down and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I want to have your seat at the boys' table today."

Helga snorted. "Be my guest."

"You sure are confident, huh?" Zoe asked, getting in Helga's face.

"It's got nothing to do with confidence. I know Arnold and I know that it'll be a cold day in hell before he'd go for a girl like you."

Zoe huffed. "You'd know all about hell, wouldn't you? Why don't you crawl back to where you came from?"

"Can't. I'm out of sick days." Helga sneered, turned around, smashing her hair in Zoe's face and went towards the cafeteria. She heard and fully enjoyed the sound of Zoe groaning behind her.

"Just you wait! I'm gonna steal him from you!"

* * *

Helga went to the girls' table after getting her food, briefly looking over her shoulder to see that Zoe was indeed heading for the boys table. She smirked confidently and sat next to the girls. Rhonda asked her why she wasn't sitting with Arnold and Helga explained Zoe's little speech from earlier. The girls were shocked that Helga hadn't fought more against the brunette, but agreed that Zoe didn't have a chance. She didn't know Arnold like they did. If anything, they felt a little sorry for her. Arnold too for that matter.

"Hey, guys. Mind if I sit with you?" Zoe said, wearing an incredibly cute smile on her face.

"Helga usually sits here." Gerald stated, but Zoe ignored him and went to sit in the chair between him and Arnold.

"She said something about wanting to eat with the girls today. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, not at all." Sid said with a wide grin. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you."

Zoe seemed clearly disgusted at the thought of talking with Sid, but she smiled sweetly at Arnold. He wasn't looking at her though; he was looking at the girls' table, more specifically Helga. He didn't understand. She had just gotten back and now she was joining the girls instead of him? He understood if she had missed the girls more than him, he had visited her every day after all, but the boys' table had become her usual spot for the past two months. Why would she suddenly change her mind? And without saying a word about it to him first?

"Phillip?"

Arnold cringed at the name and looked politely at Zoe. "Yeah?"

"I thought maybe we could use this opportunity to get to know each other a little more." She said, placing her shoulder on the table and placing her hand at the crook of her neck. It gave her an overly endearing look that almost made Arnold frown. "Where is it you boys go every day after school?"

Arnold gave Gerald a pleading look who shot him a look saying he knew that he should keep his mouth shut. Sid, unfortunately, didn't catch that.

"We go to Gerald field." Sid answered excitedly. "It's this really big empty lot we made into a football field when we were kids."

 _Sid, I'm gonna make Helga kill you!_ Arnold thought.

"Football?" Zoe repeated, clearly not fond of the sport, but she smiled nevertheless. "Sounds cool. You boys going today?"

"Yes."

"No."

Arnold and Sid looked at each other, one in confusion and the other in frustration. "You're not joining us today, Arnold?" Sid asked.

"No, I, um—I think I'll go somewhere with Helga. We haven't really been on a proper _date_ since her accident." Arnold said, putting emphasis on the word _date_ , hoping Zoe would finally understand.

She didn't. Well, she understood that they were dating, but she didn't _understand_. Why would a boy like Arnold, someone so sweet, generous and cool, be with a crude girl like Helga? To make matters worse, it didn't seem like she felt the same way at all. There was no love in her eyes when Zoe saw them together, not the same way Arnold looked at her. Zoe decided to see it as a challenge though not a big one. It couldn't be hard to win over a girl who showed little to no interest in the prize.

"When I talked to her earlier, she said something about wanting to go straight home after school though." Zoe lied.

"Oh, when you asked her if you could take her seat?" Gerald asked.

Zoe sneered at him, but forced a sweet smile. "More like she just mentioned wanting to sit with the girls today. I just mentioned that I might take her seat today then. Is that a problem?"

 _Yes, it is_. Gerald thought, but faked a smile and shook his head. _I'm gonna have to ask Helga what the hell is going on_.

* * *

"So, everyone, grab a partner and get started." Mrs. Oah finished and went to read her usual magazine.

"Helga, would you—"

"Arnold!" Zoe interrupted him and skipped to his seat, leaning over the desk to look at him sweetly. "Could you please be my partner? I'm not very good at geography."

"Color me shocked." Helga whispered to herself. "I'm gonna work with Phoebe."

Arnold wanted to stop Helga from leaving him with Zoe, but she had already left. He was starting to wonder if she was angry with him. He was wondering if she was taking advantage of Zoe to get her revenge. It wouldn't be below her to use that kind of trick to punish him. Problem was he couldn't think of what he might have done to upset her.

Nevertheless, Arnold was stuck with Zoe for the geography assignment and she hadn't been lying when she said she was bad at geography. She didn't have the slightest clue where anything was in the world beyond America and yet she still had trouble with the states. Arnold was a patient guy though and taught her as well as he could. In the end, time ran out because he had to teach her the basics and they didn't have time to do the actual assignment. It was embarrassing to admit to Mrs. Oah that they hadn't made the assignment. He heard Helga snicker to herself during that moment and his suspicions grew stronger from that.

* * *

"Come on, Arnold. Cheer up. We're at least going to play some ball before the weather gets too cold." Gerald said, trying to cheer his best friend up, but it was no use.

Not only had Arnold's plans of going out with Helga been ruined by Zoe dragging him with her, she was even joining them to Gerald field. He hadn't even had the time to talk to Helga, that's how fast the brunette had been. He looked at her over his shoulder. Sid was charming up a storm with her and she was so obviously uninterested that it almost hurt to watch. If only he was as good at showing his disinterest as she was.

The game began and Zoe was cheering loyally through the first five minutes of the game, but grew bored after that and took out her phone. Arnold almost felt relieved when she did; her cheering was obnoxious and she didn't understand the game anyway. He was running to catch the ball when someone caught it before him. He bumped into the person and fell onto the grass. When he looked up, he recognized the person holding the ball.

"Wolfgang?" Arnold asked in surprise. "Shouldn't you be in college?"

"Shouldn't _you_ be in surgery to get that head fixed?" Wolfgang asked, laughing loudly with his friends as they approached. He threw the ball backwards and Edmund caught it clumsily.

"Knock it off, Wolfgang. Aren't we getting too old for this?" Gerald asked while he helped Arnold off the grass. "Give us our ball back."

"Hmm, let me think…" Wolfgang said, putting on a mockingly serious face. "No!"

Wolfgang and his friends laughed before they ran past the younger boys and started playing football themselves.

"Is this seriously happening?" Gerald asked in disbelief before the ball flew over his head. "Guess it is."

"It was bad enough when we were kids, now it's just dumb." Harold said, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"Why aren't you throwing them off your field?" Zoe asked as she came running towards the boys.

"Are you crazy? Have you looked at the size of them?" Sid asked as he gestured towards Wolfgang and his friends. "They'll kill us!"

"And talking to them won't change a thing. It'll only give Arnold a black eye!" Stinky added.

"Why Arnold?" Zoe asked.

"He's the only one who was brave enough to actually walk up to them when we were kids." Sid explained and patted Arnold's shoulder. "Not that it ever changed anything."

"Thanks, Sid." Arnold said and looked towards Wolfgang and his friends. "I guess we'll just have to wait until spring comes to play again. Wolfgang will have forgotten all about the lot again by then."

"I'm so sick of letting them walk over us!" Harold said while they started walking away. "We're not kids anymore!"

"To Wolfgang we are and he's not afraid to beat us up if we go against him!" Sid said in a panicked voice. "No lot is worth that."

"But this is _our_ vacant lot, you guys." Gerald said. "And also, it's just not fair."

"What can we do? Short of getting Helga to beat the crap out of them?" Harold asked.

"Helga?" Zoe repeated in surprise. "She's a girl, what is she gonna do?"

"Careful not to use the G-word around Helga, Zoe. She'll just add you to the pile of bodies with Wolfgang and the others." Gerald said, hoping to somehow scare her away from Arnold.

Zoe shivered. "That's not very ladylike." She huffed.

"Being ladylike wouldn't solve something like this." Gerald argued in annoyance.

Helga's aggressive attitude had never been one he cared for, but Zoe's attitude was bugging him even more. Helga could at least fight her own battles. Zoe would probably run behind the nearest friendly guy at the sight of the smallest struggle, be it physical or not. Not that he could blame her for that, but it annoyed him to no end that she was talking down about someone who could actually save her ass when she herself couldn't.

"But Helga isn't here and I'm not going against those goons without her."

"Are you men or mice?" Zoe asked in disbelief.

"Are you gonna help us?"

"I can't!"

"Then shut up!" Gerald shouted, completely fed up at this point. "You're all talk. Want us to take Gerald field back? Then help us!"

"How dare you talk to me like that—"

Gerald gave a loud groan, threw his arms in the air and walked away. While Zoe crossed her arms and pouted like a child, Arnold ran after his friend. He walked next to him for a while, letting him calm down before he dared talking to him. When he finally asked him what had gotten him so riled up, Gerald sighed and stopped walking.

"I talked to Helga right before Zoe dragged you away."

"What did she say?"

"Zoe has kinda declared war against her. And you're the prize."

" _What_?!" Arnold bellowed in shock and embarrassment. "When did that happen?"

"Before lunch, which is why Helga sat with the girls. Zoe practically forced her to, it sure as hell wasn't Helga's idea like Zoe said."

Arnold couldn't help but smile. "I thought it sounded weird…" he said and sighed in relief. "What else did she say?"

"Uh… that Zoe was annoyed Helga wasn't nervous about her going after you."

"Why would she? I've been in love with Helga my whole life and even if I wasn't, Zoe is definitely not my type."

"Zoe doesn't know the first part and she is in denial about the second." Gerald pointed out, wearing a fake smile. Truth be told, Helga's indifference worried him.

When Gerald had talked to her, she hadn't just seemed calm, she had seemed totally unmoved. He knew Helga wasn't in love with Arnold, but he had hoped she would at least have a _hint_ of romantic feelings towards him at this point. When she had been embarrassed about the way she looked when she was sick, he had been so happy for Arnold. He really thought that meant something, but the fact that she was taking the whole Zoe thing in a stride… that worried him. No matter how much he trusted Phoebe and how much he knew she loved him, the thought of another guy being into her still made his blood boil. He could feel jealousy prickling at him just from the thought, and that Helga didn't feel anything like that worried him.

* * *

 _I can't believe I'm taking Zoe to Rhonda's Halloween party_. Arnold thought in disbelief as he parked the car outside Rhonda's mansion. He briefly looked at Zoe who was still doing her make-up in the mirror. He didn't get it; she already looked catwalk-ready when he picked her up, how could she still be adding to it? She was dressed up as a sexy angel, something he almost laughed at when he saw her. She looked good, but god was her outfit ironic.

Arnold himself had dressed up like a cowboy and all he did before he went out was to readjust his hat. While Zoe stepped out of the Packard as well, he thought back to how this had happened in the first place.

When Rhonda had handed out her Halloween party invitations, Zoe had leapt straight at Arnold and asked him to be her date for the dance. Arnold had been about to decline, but Zac had invited Helga right after and she had said yes. Zac hadn't invited her as a date, it had sounded more like a: "Why not?" kind of question. That didn't mean Arnold liked it one bit. So, somehow, he had ended up picking up Zoe instead of Helga and had seen Zac drive off to pick up Helga. What kind of twisted situation was that?

Arnold wanted to find Helga as soon as possible and tell her he was tired of this game of hers. She was punishing him, for what he didn't know, but he wanted to be done with this game. He wanted to be done with Zoe. He was reaching his breaking point with this girl, no amount of patience could let him keep being polite to her forever. Instead of finding Helga, he found Gerald and Phoebe. He forgot Helga for a moment when he saw them and he struggled to keep his laughter in. Gerald was dressed as a blacksmith and Phoebe as a Geisha. Something told him they were either trying to be ironic or had lost a bet to someone.

Zoe asked Arnold if he could get her a soft drink and he walked to the bar, mostly hoping Helga would already be there. After ordering from Rhonda's bartender/butler/servant, Arnold turned around with Zoe's Yahoo soda and saw Zac. He was dressed as Zorro, but Arnold didn't care about that. He knew that if Zac was nearby, Helga must be too. He looked around for a moment before he finally saw her. He almost dropped the Yahoo soda at the sight of her.

Helga was dressed like Harley Quinn, not from the original _Batman series_ or _Suicide Squad_ , but from the _Arkham City_ game. It was a form-fitted red-and-black leather jumpsuit with a waist cincher corset, long fingerless gloves and knee-high boots. She had even tied her blonde hair in pigtails and dip-dyed the ends in black and red. She had gone all out this year.

"Soda? Must be for Zoe."

Arnold shook his head, only just realizing he had approached Helga. "Uh… y—yeah." He answered and looked at the soda in his hand. "Harley Quinn, huh?"

"Yeah, after the joke that is her costume in _Suicide Squad_ , I thought I wanted to make a tribute to one of my favorite costumes of hers." Helga said and lifted her bat over her shoulder. "Kinda suits me, right?"

"Harley Quinn is perfect for you." Arnold said with a dazed look in his eyes.

"Somehow being compared to a lovesick psychopath isn't very flattering, but thank you." Helga joked and looked at something over Arnold's shoulder. "Looks like your angel is coming for you, cowboy."

Arnold turned around just in time to see Zoe going from angry to sweet. "Thank you, Arnold. How sweet of you." She said in an obviously fake, saccharine voice. She took the soda from Arnold and seized Helga up. "And what are you supposed to be?"

"Harley Quinn."

Zoe frowned. "Uh, how? Harley Quinn wears blue and red shorts, fishnet stockings and a white t-shirt." She said and looked at Arnold while she giggled at Helga. "You even got the hair colors wrong."

"That's only in _Suicide Squad_." Helga pointed out.

"Did she exist before that?"

"Only for over two decades." Helga answered and gave a cocky grin.

"Well, she only just got interesting." Zoe argued. "And her costume sure has gotten better."

"I disagree." Arnold interfered. "I think Helga chose the best Harley Quinn outfit of them all and there's been many."

Helga smirked while Zoe huffed. "Whatever. Come on, dance with me, Arnold." She said, put her soda away and pulled him out to the dancefloor.

Helga stayed back and used her bat to lean on. She watched Zoe and Arnold dancing together or rather, Zoe using every old trick in the book to seduce a very uncomfortable Arnold. He tried to keep a polite distance while she kept swinging her ass at him, touching his face and even grind on him at some point. Helga wasn't sure when, but her face cracked into a maniac grin. It was just too good; poor, sweet, innocent Arnold, victim to a vicious, sexually frustrated feline.

Arnold noticed Helga laughing to herself. He shook his head at her, trying to hold back his own laughter. He could suddenly see how it must look from her point of view. He was dodging Zoe's advances as if she were a dodgeball. She got more and more aggressive in her dancing and it was starting to look like a krumping battle. Arnold looked towards Helga again, but she was walking towards the hallway. She looked at him over her shoulder and wiggled her finger at him. He smiled, made sure Zoe was still in her own little world and then slipped past her. Helga grabbed his hand as soon as he reached her and they ran out of the living room and into the hallway.

Once they were away from the others, Helga rolled over laughing on the couch in yet another of the mansion's living rooms. "That was the most cringy thing I've ever seen!"

"Glad you're entertained!" Arnold answered, sitting down next to her. "It was the weirdest thing ever."

"You looked like a deer in the headlights…" Helga said, struggling to breathe while she was laughing. "And she was the oblivious predator!"

"Don't laugh. It's actually a little annoying…" Arnold confessed with a smile on his face.

Helga cooed sarcastically at him before she grabbed his cowboy hat. "And she wanted to steal you from me. Fat chance." She said while putting the hat on her own head.

Arnold sighed in happiness. "She can't take a hint… She also went with me and the boys to play football in the vacant lot." He told her. "Well, not that we played all that much."

"What do you mean?"

"Uh… Wolfgang and his friends showed up."

"Wolfang? Helga questioned and sat up properly. "Shouldn't he be in college?"

"Tell him that." Arnold joked. "He and his friends took over the lot. I don't think they'll give it up anytime soon."

" _What_? Again?"

Arnold shrugged. "It's winter soon anyway. He'll have forgotten the lot again when spring comes."

"Nu-uh." Helga said in annoyance and the blonde boy looked at her in surprise. "We can't just let them do that! Not again. They tried to take it from us when we were in 4th grade, but we're too old for that shit now. Did you talk to them?"

"Well, not really… You know Wolfgang, he's not really the listening kind."

"And I guess none of you had the balls to _make_ him listen?" Helga asked, clearly annoyed with her male classmates.

"It's getting too cold to play anyway, Helga."

"Not the point!" Helga argued. " _We_ turned that piece of crap into a sports field, we're not just gonna let some overgrown bullies take it from us. We're marching straight to Gerald field tomorrow and we're taking back what rightfully belongs to us."

Arnold had a feeling there was no talking sense into Helga. She was pissed and when she was pissed, she wasn't thinking clearly. When she had decided something, she would stick to it like glue. All he could hope that tomorrow wouldn't turn into their personal Ragnarok.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: To the reviewer who said that Zoe is a whore: I already wrote privately to this reviewer, jokingly answering that Zoe hasn't charged for having sex with anyone, but I just want to say this plainly: No, Zoe is not supposed to be a likable OC. You're not supposed to like her at all, that's not her purpose. But I don't care for slutshaming, especially if it doesn't make any sense. It seems that in today's society as soon as a girl misbehaves or is a "bitch", she becomes a slut or a whore as well. I deeply despise that kind of language and I don't mean any harm by pointing it out, I just want to say that I would really appreciate it if that kind of hateful and disgusting language was left out of the reviews, please. It first of all makes no sense to call Zoe a whore and second of all it's just despicable language. Please don't.**

 **On a different note, do people outside Scandinavia know what Ragnarok is? Because if it really is just a Scandinavian word for the world's end then I'll change it into something else xD**


	9. Everything was fine

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **Zoe admitted to Helga that she had feelings for Arnold and was going to try and hit on him. Helga didn't feel threatened by her though and let her take her seat at the boys' table during lunch. Zoe continued doing everything she could to get closer to Arnold, but he felt more and more uncomfortable the closer she got and he couldn't help but wonder why Helga was letting this happen.**_

 _ **Zoe joined the boys to Gerald field to play some football, but it was interrupted by Wolfgang and his friends who once again decided to make Gerald field theirs. While everyone was annoyed, they agreed they couldn't do much without it getting ugly and would rather wait until Wolfgang lost interest in the field again.**_

 _ **At Rhonda's Halloween party, Zoe had somehow sneaked her way in Arnold's Packard and he had to take her to the party. At the party though, he and Helga snuck off and left Zoe dancing alone. He told Helga about what had happened at the vacant lot and she grew angry at their lack of action and promised to take the vacant lot back herself.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Jam: "** _ **LOL it's very easy to ruffle your feathers. God, do you cry and whine about everything? You have a nasty attitude. You should work on that, along with your grammar**_ **."**

 **Easy to ruffle my feathers? That's a first. People have actually complimented my patience, but is there certain things I'm not just going to sit back and accept? Yes, I'll gladly admit that. I'm not 100% sure what you were referring to in your review so I'm going to have to assume it was about the whore/slut comment? I don't see how asking people not to use that kind of language in the reviews seems whiny. If it does to some people then fine, I can't do much about that. I'd say I even asked pretty nicely. It's not like I cursed at every other word or was practically screaming through the text.**

 **A nasty attitude? Gotta say again that's a first for me too, but then again you're an online stranger. You don't actually know anything about me beyond what I write here so your opinion is invalid to me. With that being said, I'd like to throw that right back at you. You can say what you want about me, but I'm not the one attacking a stranger on the internet. Were both my author's notes in the last chapter mostly about correcting two of my reviewers? Yes, but that's not usually the case. I'm not the kind of person to let people misunderstand my intentions. Could I just not care? Sure, there are probably plenty people out there who wouldn't, but that's just not me. I** _ **will**_ **correct you if you have misunderstood something about me or my story.**

 **And speaking of correcting, I have already admitted that English isn't my first language. It's written right down below as it has been for years. I tell people to notify me if they notice any grammar mistakes, but then there's people like you who just cry and whine about it – ironically enough. Want me to fix my grammar? Then tell me what's wrong with it. Don't just tell me to fix it along with my nasty attitude, that's not really going to fix anything.**

 **Thank god someone wrote to me and told me you're just one of those people who get enjoyment out of other people's misery. I** _ **almost**_ **took you too seriously when I read that review of yours. If you continue to review, I'm going to ignore you. I just wouldn't be happy with myself if I didn't answer you this once. People like you need to get something better to do than to harass strangers on the internet :P**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.**

* * *

Chapter 9: "Everything was fine"

"Helga, you really shouldn't do this!" Arnold called while he tried to keep up with Helga. His classmates were right behind him, all trying to stop Helga too, for different reasons. "Wolfgang will forget about it soon anyway! You know he can't focus on one thing for that long!"

"Not the point, Arnoldo, and you know it. I'm going to take back Gerald field and you're either with me or against me. Not that it matters." Helga replied as she kept jogging.

Arnold looked at his classmates over his shoulder. Some shrugged, others shook their heads and a few showed complete disinterest. Zoe was one of those and she was giving Arnold a bit of a glare at the same time. She was still pissed at him for dumping her on the dance floor last night and go do whatever with Helga. She hadn't had the time to give either of them a piece of her mind yet and this was gradually growing more and more interesting. Helga fighting three boys? This she had to see.

 _She's gonna kill them if she gets the chance_. Arnold thought and finally grabbed Helga's shoulder and stopped her. They could see Gerald field at the other side of the street at this point and the fight was growing closer. "Helga, please. You're making a big deal out of nothing!"

"Nothing?! We're still talking about _Wolfgang_ , right? The asshole who's given every single one of us at least _one_ black eye when we were kids, right?"

"I know, but—"

"But nothing!" Helga interrupted and put her hands on Arnold's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Arnold, but I'm going to do this. Patty's got my back if anything goes wrong, right?"

"Right." Patty answered with a smirk.

Helga continued across the street towards Gerald field and Arnold stayed back with the others. "She won't really kill them… right?"

"Hard to say." Patty replied bluntly. "Now that I think about it… she hasn't been in a fight since you two got together."

"She hasn't?" Arnold asked and Patty nodded.

"I think that might be the biggest change in her. Unfortunately that's not gonna do her any good right now."

Arnold gulped and looked towards Gerald field where Helga was finally approaching the boys. Wolfgang and his friends were sitting on chairs in the middle of the field, playing cards on a fold-out table. Wolfgang looked at Helga over his shoulder and smirked at her. Without being able to hear what they were saying it was clear that Wolfgang made a dirty joke because Helga kicked at his chair, sending him flying to the ground. Wolfgang shouted at her, calling her one profanity after the other. Helga demanded that they left Gerald field, but when Wolfgang told her no, she kicked his stomach.

Wolfgang's friends joined the fight and that was when the gang felt fear at their fingertips. Their fear was unfounded though because Helga wasn't just holding her own, the boys had a hard time keeping up with her. Arnold's fear was what came true though; he could see it in the way Helga was fighting. No hesitation and pure fury. He had only ever seen her in a fight once before and it had looked a bit like this, but the difference was clear.

"You know, I didn't wanna say anything in case I'd be wrong…" Patty whispered in Arnold's ear. "But you can see it too, right?"

"See what?" Arnold asked dumbly, but he knew exactly what Patty was talking about. There was something vicious in the way Helga was moving, something that told him she wasn't doing this just to take back Gerald field.

"Helga looks like a junkie who is getting her first fix in months… which isn't totally wrong." Patty explained and Arnold finally looked up at her. She bit the inside of her cheeks. "She's been holding back her usual anger and now she's taking it out on them."

"She's insane!" Zoe bellowed in absolute fear.

A sound caught Arnold's ears and he looked back at Gerald field. While Wolfgang's friends were lying on the ground, groaning from pain, Wolfgang was caught in Helga's arm lock. She was pulling at his arm while he was screaming that he could feel it snap from his shoulder. Helga didn't care, she didn't even seem like she could hear him. Arnold couldn't take it anymore and he screamed at Helga to stop. She shook her head, as if waking up from a dream and let go of Wolfgang. He whimpered, supporting himself on the arm she hadn't snapped and got himself standing. He and his friends scrambled away, running as if their lives depended on it.

Sid lifted his arms and started clapping. When the others stared at him in disbelief, he gestured for them to join him. Fear shone in his eyes and that made the others join his applause. Helga got up from the ground, barely noticing that her friends were approaching her. There was something empty in her eyes and Arnold could see it clearly.

"W—Way to go, Helga!" Sid praised, his voice stuttering.

"Yeah, that was really… something." Stinky agreed, giving a nervous smile.

"It was the scariest thing I've ever seen!" Harold cried out, earning two elbows to his stomach from Sid and Stinky. "Ow! Am I wrong?"

Helga looked at her classmates, gauging their reaction. The level of it was different depending on the classmate, but they all shared the same feeling; fright. She had scared her classmates and she never thought she'd care. But she did. She gave a brief thank you to her friends before she jogged away. They all looked after her, but no one dared following her; except for Arnold.

Arnold found Helga sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against the building behind her. She was hugging her knees, staring blankly at the ground. Arnold approached her calmly, hoping not to alarm her this time around. She didn't make a peep while he sat next to her. He knew she knew he was there; she was just collecting courage to talk.

"That was… crazy, wasn't it?" Helga wondered aloud.

"Well…" Arnold started and gave a sigh when he couldn't think of anything proper to say.

"I missed that."

"What?"

"I missed fighting." Helga confessed, the words feeling bitter on her tongue. "I missed feeling my fist connect with a chin, seeing the fear in their eyes and hear them beg me to stop… That's sick, isn't it? To enjoy something like that."

Arnold knew it; he had seen it after all, but to hear her admit it so bluntly… it scared him. "Helga, you—"

"I saw him in all of them." Helga interrupted, her voice still oddly quiet. "I saw Bob's face when I hit them… The stronger I hit the stronger the image of him became and… I just couldn't stop."

Arnold didn't speak, he couldn't think of anything to say that would make her feel better. He knew anything he'd say would be received badly. She'd disregard any comforting thing he'd have to say because she'd know he was talking out of love and not logic, and she didn't respond to that.

Helga finally looked at Arnold. "I think this goes beyond misandry…" she admitted, a hint of fear and sadness in her voice. He could even see her lower lip quiver a bit.

Helga was fighting her own feelings and it hurt him so much to see her like that; to see her realize such a scary fact about herself. He put his hand on the back of her head and pulled her to the crook of his neck. Part of him had been sure she would push him away, but she didn't just stay put, she wrapped her arms around him. He pulled her closer to him, hugging her tightly. If this would comfort her, even if only a little bit, he'd stay there until snow would come and the new year began.

"Helga." A female voice said calmly. The blondes looked up in surprise and saw Zoe looking at them. She seemed oddly nervous. "Could I talk to you?"

Arnold looked questioningly at Helga, wondering if she wanted him to tell Zoe to leave them alone for now. Not because Helga couldn't tell her that herself, but she wasn't quite herself at the moment. Helga simply nodded at Zoe though, looked at Arnold for a moment and then got up from the sidewalk. Arnold watched as the girls walked further down the street and he kept looking even when he couldn't hear them talk.

"I think I finally figured out what your relationship is with Arnold." Zoe stated. "You were best friends until he told you he has feelings for you… and now you're trying to see if you can feel the same way. Am I right?"

Helga looked at Zoe in surprise. She hadn't expected her to figure it out. She didn't know all the details, but she had figured out the gist of it. Helga crossed her arms and nodded.

Zoe bit on her lower lip and then looked away. "You're doing more harm than good, you know."

Helga blinked. "Something tells me you're speaking from experience."

Zoe nodded. "I am. I had a really big crush on one of my guy friends when we were in middle school. I told him how I felt even though I knew he didn't feel the same… and he told me he would try to date me to see if he could feel the same way. I was so unbelievably happy. I mean, it was a dream come true. I was dating the guy I had liked for so long…" she told, but then her face grew bitter. "But life isn't some fairytale where everything works out the way you want it to. I realized pretty quickly that he just didn't feel the way no matter how hard he tried and that really hurt. Even more than it would if he had just been honest from the beginning. It would have been better if he had rejected me from the beginning because what he did by trying to date me was giving me a taste of what I'd never have. It was cruel… and you're being cruel too."

Helga stayed quiet for a moment. "Arnold and I aren't you and your friend, Zoe."

Zoe chuckled bitterly. "Tell me, Helga, how long have you two dated?"

"About two months."

" _About_? You're not sure?"

"Two months." Helga corrected. "Maybe a week more or less."

Zoe shook her head. "Helga, do you really believe you can fall in love with him?"

"I don't know—"

"You can't." Zoe interrupted. "You two have always been friends, right? I'm guessing Arnold's always had feelings for you though. He never saw you as a _friend_ , but you saw him as one. You've seen him as a friend for _years_ , you can't just suddenly change how you feel!"

"I _am_ changing!"

"But are you falling in love with him?!" Zoe asked in frustration. "The answer is no, right? Do you feel any different about him now than you did two months ago?"

"I do!" Helga insisted. "I think so… I'm learning, I'm—"

"You can't _learn_ to fall in love, Helga." The brunette interrupted. "If you really had any feelings for Arnold at all, you would have felt scared and jealous when another girl started going after him even if you did trust him! That's what being in love feels like; it's insecurity, it's fear of losing them and it's jealousy! Love is agony and you felt _nothing_ when I flirted with Arnold. That wasn't confidence or trust, it was indifference."

Helga felt like she had been stabbed. She tried to scrutinize every moment she had seen Zoe spent with Arnold. She tried to remember if she had felt a hint of anger, fear or sadness when she saw them together. Nothing. She couldn't remember feeling anything like that at all. Only glee whenever Zoe was rejected. That said more about Helga's personality than her feelings for Arnold.

Helga looked back at the brunette. "I don't know what to tell you, Zoe. I feel like I owe it to him to at least try."

"And I think you owe it to him to be honest." Zoe stated. "You're giving him false hope."

Helga's lips quivered. She wanted to defend herself, defend her choice, but she couldn't think of any arguments. She suddenly felt very small in comparison to the girl she had laughed at so much.

"I'm giving up on Arnold." Zoe said, pulling Helga out of her thoughts. "I can see how much he is in love with you. I can't worm my way in when he feels so strongly about you. I'm giving up on him… but so should you. I'll say it again; you're only giving him false hope and that's just cruel."

Helga felt a cold sensation run down her spine when Zoe walked past her. She couldn't quite describe how she felt that moment. It was a sort of numb feeling, but she also felt a series of emotions and it was like her heart couldn't choose which one to focus on. It wasn't until she felt Arnold take her hand that she realized he had approached her.

"What did she say?" Arnold asked gently.

"Uh… something about giving up on you."

"Really?' Arnold asked and when Helga nodded, he sighed in relief. "Glad that's over… Was that it though? You look kind of weirded out."

"You could call it that…" Helga answered thoughtfully. "Um… could we go to Sunset Arms? I don't really feel like going home."

"Oh, s—sure, of course! Let's just say a quick goodbye to the others and then we'll leave." Arnold said and led Helga back to the others by her hand. She followed him obediently and gave a halfhearted goodbye once Arnold had told their friends that they were leaving. She could see the worry in her friends' eyes, but she wasn't sure what they were worried about anymore. For her or because of her.

The walk to Arnold's place felt unbearably long to Helga. She could feel her feet dragging against the sidewalk and Arnold's hand around hers did nothing to comfort her. She had gotten used to the feeling of his fingers tangled with hers, but that was it. She didn't feel happier because of it or giddy or anything she knew she was supposed to be feeling if she had feelings for him. Was Zoe right? Was she just fooling herself? Even worse, was she fooling Arnold? Was she really doing him a disfavor by trying to date him? She had been so sure that she was doing a good thing by trying. He knew it wasn't a sure thing, right? But this was Arnold after all, he would always be hopeful, always idealistic. Was it possible he expected everything to turn alright in the end as long as he hoped?

What if it didn't? What if Helga couldn't get over her misandry? What if she did get over it, but still couldn't feel that way about Arnold? Which would hurt him more? Would it hurt him less if she just ended it now? What if she tried getting better without dating him at the same time? Would that be less cruel? More cruel? Would it help her move on without any pressure or would she lose some motivation? She felt like she didn't know anything anymore.

"Careful!" Arnold suddenly yelled and pulled Helga close to him. She shrieked while the herd of animals ran outside of Sunset Arms and into the streets. She panted a bit as she watched them. "You ok?"

Helga looked at Arnold, finally noticing how close he was holding her. "Yeah…" she answered and leaned back. He had protected her loyally, like he always had. Somehow, it hurt more than anything.

Arnold took Helga's hand again and led her inside. He said hello to his family and told them Helga was with him, but he didn't spend more time explaining things to them. He had a feeling Helga would appreciate just going straight to his room and not chitchat with his family right now, even if she did adore his grandparents. So he led her to his room and the moment they were inside, she fell onto his couch and sighed.

"Tired?"

"Yeah…"

"Want to take a nap here?"

"Yeah." Helga answered before she closed her eyes. It took her about 10 seconds of continuing her web of thoughts before the exhaustion took over her and she was off to a thought free world.

Arnold tried to distract himself so he could let Helga sleep. It wasn't the first time she slept at his place, not for a nap either. She had often sought refuge at his place when her parents were fighting or if she just needed to be somewhere else. It wasn't unlikely she'd fall asleep those times so he was used to it. This time though, he felt a little extra worried about her. Her mood was so gloomy and he had a feeling Zoe had said more than what Helga told him. It worried him that Helga was affected by it. She usually didn't care what other people thought after all so what could Zoe possibly have said that could have affected her so badly?

Maybe Arnold was wrong, maybe it was the fight. That had upset her up pretty badly too. That look she had given him told him she had realized something she really hated about herself. He hated that part of her too, but his hatred came from how much it affected her. He liked that she could stand on her own feet, that she wouldn't let others walk all over her. He admired that, but she was taking it too far most of the time and she had realized that today. He wasn't sure what had triggered that epiphany, but he feared what it would bring.

After 10 minutes, Arnold gave up on doing something to distract himself. He looked at Helga and went to sit down on the floor next to the couch. Even in her sleep, she looked like she was in pain. He hated himself for not saying more earlier. He hated himself for not being able to do anything for the girl he was in love with. He couldn't hold her, kiss her or tell her it was going to be alright.

Arnold looked at Helga's face and mostly her lips. He lifted his fingers and touched them for a moment, in awe of their softness. He had kissed them before and by now, he couldn't count it on one hand anymore. It was such an amazing thought how far they had gotten… and yet they still felt so far apart. He couldn't do anything for her when she needed someone so much and it made him feel so useless.

Arnold leaned over and pecked Helga's lips softly. He felt much calmer already and it bothered him he couldn't calm her down the same way. He leaned back when he felt something flick his forehead and he realized Helga had just opened her eyes.

"Taking advantage of me while I'm sleeping, Football Head?"

"No!" Arnold insisted, but realized what it must have felt like. "Sorry…"

"I was just kidding. You're too good to do something like that." Helga said with a smile, but her voice seemed pained. She sat up on the couch and Arnold leaned back to look at her.

"Go back to sleep, Helga. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"No, no. Um… I don't think I can…" Helga said and was about to add something, but she couldn't say it.

"I don't know how to help you…" Arnold confessed sadly.

Helga looked down at him. "What?"

"I want to help you… make you feel better or anything, but I feel like there's nothing I can do."

"That's because you can't, this is _my_ problem." Helga spoke bluntly.

Arnold flinched at the words and gave a low chuckle. "I guess… but I just wish I could do _something_. Even if it's just a small thing. I want to be there for you, Helga, when you feel sad or angry… I just can't figure out how anymore."

Helga could feel her heart leap into her throat and it was the most horrible feeling she'd ever felt. She could feel something rumble in her throat and she tried desperately to keep it down, but the sobs came out of her like a gag reflex. She lifted her knees, put her elbows on them and hid her face in her hands.

"I can't do this anymore… You're just too pitiful."

Arnold looked up at Helga in surprise, not from her words, but because of her voice. Why was she crying? Had he said something wrong? He reached out for her, but she shrunk into the couch and out of his reach. Her shoulders were shaking and she was hissing in her attempt to stop herself from crying. It hurt. It hurt too much. It hurt to know how much she was hurting him. It hurt to know how much he cared for her when she didn't feel the same. She felt like a deceitful bitch and she couldn't do it anymore.

"Why haven't I changed? Why haven't I gotten any further?" Helga asked, her voice cracking from time to time. "It's been months and I still feel the same. I'm no different from before… I still love punching boys, I'm afraid of you touching me and I can't control any of these feelings. I haven't changed at all."

Arnold wasn't sure what it was, but he go a dreadful feeling from the way Helga was talking. "You _have_ changed, Helga. I—I told you at Rhonda's party back then, remember? Before all this, you—"

"But you're wrong, Arnold!" Helga interrupted. "I haven't moved an inch! You talked about how I wouldn't have let you hold me before, but so what? That doesn't change anything!"

"How does it not change anything?"

"Because I _feel_ the same! The only difference is that I'm forcing myself to pretend that you touching me, hugging me or kissing me makes me feel something I'm supposed to feel, but it doesn't! I don't feel happy when we do any of those things, Arnold, and it shouldn't be like that! I should feel _something_ , but I just don't! I want to, but I don't…"

"Helga, you don't have to—"

"Force myself?" Helga suggested. "You're right, I shouldn't… It doesn't help either of us. It feels like I keep walking two steps ahead and then one step back and it's going too slowly."

"The point is that you're moving, not that you're slow! And I don't agree, Helga. You—"

"It doesn't matter if you agree, Arnold!" Helga interrupted once more. "I can't love you! I can't fall in love with you no matter how hard I try! I can't fall in love with you and I can't change it…"

Arnold felt frozen to the spot. He kept looking at Helga who was shaking and sobbing, but he couldn't do anything besides staring. It felt unreal, like it wasn't really happening. He felt like he had been locked inside a dome and the sounds around him were locked away from his ears. It felt like his heart had stopped beating and that he was suffocating.

"I can't do this anymore…" Helga said and wanted to look at Arnold, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. "I can't keep letting you believe I'll change when I won't. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Arnold asked dumbly.

Helga gave a small huff. "If you can even call it that…" she said bitterly. She placed her feet solidly on the ground, ready to stand up. "Your parents are right, Arnold… You, Phil and Gertie have known me since I was a kid so you love me… but your parents can see how I really am. We should have listened to them… I can't change… and I don't want you to suffer because of it."

Helga stood up from the couch and walked to the door, half-expecting Arnold to grab her and beg her to stay. She thought he'd beg her to keep trying, but he didn't. When she opened the door and looked at him, he was still staring at the couch where she had just been sitting. Almost as if he hadn't seen her get up. She looked at him for a long moment before she left and closed the door behind her. What a perfectly bittersweet metaphor.

"Hey, Helga. You leaving already?"

Helga flinched and turned to look at Phil who was standing in the doorframe, looking at her. She felt an immense sense of guilt from seeing him and it must have shown on her face because he gave her an oddly worried look.

"What's with you? You look kind of pale." Phil said worriedly and reached out for her, probably about to feel her forehead or just touch her shoulders, but she stepped back. She saw the rest of Arnold's family gathering in the hallway and she felt even guiltier when she saw Stella and Miles.

"I'm sorry…" Helga whispered.

"What was that, dear?" Gertie asked with her usual happy smile, oblivious to what was going on.

"I'm sorry…" Helga repeated and started shivering. "I'm so sorry… Please tell him I'm sorry!"

Helga turned around, ignoring the people calling her name and ran out of Sunset Arms the moment she had opened the door. While Phil and Gertie went outside to call for her to come back, Stella and Miles ran upstairs to Arnold's room. Miles was the first one inside and he saw Arnold just like Helga had left him; sitting on the floor, staring at the couch.

"Son?" Miles called gently and crouched next to him. It wasn't until he touched his shoulder that his son looked at him. "What did Helga do?"

"She left." Arnold said in a monotone voice.

"Yeah, we saw that, sweetie… but why?" Stella asked gently and sat on the couch in front of Arnold.

"Don't sit there…" Arnold whispered.

"What?" Stella asked and moved to stand up even though she didn't understand.

"That's where she was sitting…" Arnold said and placed his upper body on the couch. "She was sitting here, just before… Everything was fine. She was still here and—"

Arnold stopped talking when reality came crashing down on him and his words were replaced with uncontrollable sobs. He was crying so hard that he couldn't breathe. He struggled to stop sobbing so he could take in air, but he couldn't. An overwhelming nausea hit him and he started gagging. He could feel himself being lifted from the couch and he would have complained that he didn't want to move, but he didn't get the chance to speak before he could feel a familiar sense of something rising from his stomach and to his throat.

Phil managed to get Arnold to the bathroom just before he starting vomiting. He patted and caressed his back while he puked into the toilet. He kept sobbing and couldn't see anything from the tears. He could hear the disgusting sound of his unsettled stomach mixed with his parents' worried questions about what had happened. The sensation of the acid spluttering from his throat and out of him was almost a welcome distraction, but it didn't change reality.

Helga had left him. Helga had given up on them. Helga had walked out his door and wasn't coming back. She said didn't want to hurt him anymore, but this was hurting him more than he could have ever imagined. The thought of never seeing her again, never talking to her again, never doing anything with her again made him keep vomiting. He had never felt so miserable and alone. Not when Helga had found out about his feelings for her, not when she had told him she didn't want to see him again and not when she pushed him away or cried because of him.

This felt like being torn into a million pieces. This felt like dying on the inside. This felt like being stuck in a nightmare and not waking up. This felt like shouting and no one hearing you. This felt like going numb just so you didn't have to feel anything.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note:**

…

 ***Cough***

 **xD**

 **If any of you still like me at all then I can tell you I'm doing a livestream on my YouTube channel this Tuesday at 9am US time (which is 3pm our time). It's going to be with one of my best friends and most loyal reader of my fanfics. We'll probably end up talking about ships, Hey Arnold! do a Q &A and anything else people think might be fun that we do. Hope to see you there and that you'll have some ideas or questions for what you want us to do! :3**


	10. A treasure

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After finding out that Wolfgang and his friends had once again taken Gerald field away from them, Helga decides enough was enough and despite Arnold's pleadings, she went to fight the boys. Her classmates watches as she didn't just fight them, but enjoyed it to the fullest. Helga confessed those feelings to Arnold and that her misandry might be worse than they imagined.**_

 _ **In such a vulnerable state, it wasn't surprising that when Zoe told Helga she was being cruel to Arnold by giving him false hope, she couldn't help but wonder if she was right. Helga ended up believing in Zoe's words and told Arnold she didn't want to hurt him anymore and thereby broke up with him.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Guest reviewer: "** **As much as that hurt (for Arnold at least, Helga seemed ok), I'm glad that happened so that they can begin to move on. They didn't have anything together and weren't going anywhere. I have hope that Zac is going to catch Helga's eye more. And Arnold may want to think about joining the Peace Corps. Or the Army."**

 **Oh, anon, I have a hate/love relationship with you xD I'm just gonna say this: If you hate Arnold so much, why are you reading fanfiction with him? No, he's not gonna join the army. No, he's not going to die. No, nothing bad is going to happen to him so don't hold your breath. Also, fair warning; you're gonna hate this chapter ;D**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 10: "A treasure"

"Come on in, Gerald."

"Thank you, Mr. Shortman." Gerald answered and walked into Sunset Arms. Miles closed the door behind him and turned to look at him. "I'm guessing he's still curled up like a shrimp in his bed?"

"Sounds about right." Miles said bitterly and crossed his arms. "Has Helga told you her side of the story yet?"

Gerald frowned. "Sort of… I mean, I honestly had a bit of a feeling that something like this was gonna happen…" He answered and backed towards the stairs. "I'm gonna go check on him."

"Sure. Try and see if you can get him to come down for dinner tonight."

"Ok." Gerald answered and hurried up the stairs. He gave a bit of a shiver once he was out of Miles' sight. He really didn't mean to, but he always felt uncomfortable around him. He wasn't sure why. He headed up to Arnold's room and knocked on the door. "Arnold, it's me… Again. Can I come in?"

"Yeah." A weak voice answered.

Gerald walked inside and saw what he had seen yesterday as well; Arnold lying on his bed, listening to some radio station. He still had the look of a dead fish in his eyes. Gerald sighed and went to sit on the couch.

"I talked to Helga today."

Arnold flinched at the name, but sat up and looked at Gerald hopefully. "What did she say?"

"Well… not too much, actually. Just that she felt like she had been deceiving you all this time and didn't want to do that to you anymore."

"She wasn't lying to me. I knew how she felt…"

"She knows that… Thing is, Arnold, I don't think she ever believed her feelings for you were gonna change. So she feels like she lied to you by trying to date you."

Arnold shook his head. "That's just stupid… I knew what I was getting into, that there was no promises."

"I told her that too."

"And?"

"And… nothing. Like I said, she didn't say a lot. It's clear she feels guilty though."

"She shouldn't."

"No?"

"No… I was the one who got my hopes up. She didn't do anything wrong. She tried and I expected too much." Arnold said and chuckled bitterly. "It's not Helga's fault."

"No, it's Zoe's." Gerald said and scrunched his nose.

"What?" Arnold whispered and looked up. "How is it Zoe's fault?"

Gerald crossed his arms. "I… kinda talked to Zoe too because Helga mentioned that they talked after what happened at the vacant lot. Helga didn't tell me anything, but I got a feeling Zoe said something that bothered her… so I went to talk to Zoe."

Gerald told Arnold about the conversation he had with Zoe at school just before he came to Sunset Arms. Zoe and Zac had been on their way home, but Gerald had managed to get to them before they got to their car. Zoe hadn't been too keen on talking to him, but Zac had the car keys and said he wasn't going anywhere until she talked to Gerald. So Zac had stayed behind while Zoe followed Gerald to the opposite side of the parking lot.

"What have you said to Helga?" Gerald had started out asking.

Zoe had blinked, obviously surprised that Helga had told him. "Only the truth… if she couldn't handle it, that's her problem."

"It's not Helga I'm worried about, it's Arnold."

"He'll realize it's better that she breaks up with him now than later when he had fallen even more in love with her."

"What are you talking about? Did you tell Helga to break up with Arnold or something?"

"I didn't _tell_ her to do anything! I just told her what it's like to be the one who has unrequited feelings!"

"You… _what_? What are you talking about?"

"I've tried being in Arnold's situation! If they kept going they were they were, it would just hurt him more! But that's all I'm gonna say! I don't want to have anything more to do with any of them! I'm done. See you tomorrow."

Zoe had then left Gerald who had decided to go straight to Sunset Arms.

Arnold blinked, processing the information he had just been told. "What the heck did she say to her?"

"Don't know. Wanna ask her?" Gerald asked.

Arnold looked at his phone, remembering that Zoe had forced her phone number on him some time ago, and grabbed it. "I need to know what she said to Helga." He muttered and called Zoe. She answered it after a couple of rings, but she didn't even get to say hello. "Zoe, what did you say to Helga?"

There was silence for a moment before Zoe sighed. "Look, Arnold… I know it hurts right now, but imagine how much more it would hurt in a half year when Helga still doesn't feel anything for you. The longer she pretends to like you the more hurt you'll be when you realize it's a lie."

"Helga wasn't pretending anything!"

"She was dating you, wasn't she?"

"Yes, but not really! She said from the beginning she didn't feel the same way and I knew that! I knew what I was getting into! I know Helga doesn't feel that way about me, I know she has trust issues, but I also know she's working on them!"

"And what if she gets over her issues, but still doesn't love you?"

"Then that'll be that. She won't love me. I can't change Helga's feelings for me, the same way she can't change the way I feel about her. I've been in love with Helga for so long that I can't imagine not being in love with her. It doesn't matter to me how she feels, it doesn't change how I feel about her. I will continue to love her and be there for her even if she started hating me. I won't leave her side until she tells me she wants me to. I just want her to be happy."

"… That sounds really masochistic."

Arnold rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm a cat-lover after all!" he argued and hung up. "I don't know what she said to Helga and I don't care anymore. I just want Helga to know that I'm not angry with her or feel like she lied to me or—"

"You love her." Gerald interrupted, his face shock-stricken.

Arnold looked up at him questioningly. "What?"

"You told me you liked Helga. You told me you were in love with her… You never said you _love_ her."

Arnold felt his cheeks flush red and he scratched his head awkwardly. "Well… I do."

"I know, but… you never _said_ it. Not like that." Gerald pointed out. "Did you just realize that you love her? Or have you started loving her since you started dating?"

"I'm… not sure, but… I did tell Helga I fell in love with her all over again some time ago." Arnold answered. "My feelings have definitely gotten stronger."

 _Then Zoe was kind of right…_ Gerald thought, but kept it to himself. It didn't matter if she was right or not.

"I don't know what to do, Gerald…" Arnold confessed. "I want to see Helga, talk to her and tell her she didn't do anything wrong. It was sweet of her to try… That means so much to me, but I feel like if I tell her that she won't believe me… so what should I do?"

Gerald thought for a moment and then went to sit next to Arnold, patting his back. "I wish I could answer that, buddy."

* * *

"You're miserable, he's miserable, so what the hell are you trying to do?"

Helga kept her face hidden in her arms, half her body sprawled on her desk. "I already told you…"

"Well, I think it's bullshit." Patty argued and turned the volume up on Helga's radio. "You don't want to hurt him, but now you've hurt him so badly he hasn't been in school ever since. Mrs. Oah is starting to ask about him!"

"Look, what do you want from me, Patty?" Helga asked angrily and finally showed her face, her eyes red from crying. "I already told you what happened! You saw what I did to Wolfgang and his friends! What if something like that happens again? What if I'm actually just some ticking bomb? What if I… hurt Arnold that way?"

"That's not gonna happen."

"How do you know?"

"For a million reasons! But the bigger ones would be that Arnold has never pissed you off like that and you care about him. Wolfgang is an asshole who's had a good beating coming for a long time. Who cares if it came from you or from some bastard in the jail he'll eventually end up in?" Patty answered and grabbed at Helga's arm to make her look at her. "Look, Helga, I get your fear, but I really think that you're making a mistake here. You were making progress and I don't think that breaking up with Arnold will make your progress faster. On the contrary, it was healthy for you to be social with him and the other boys."

"Yeah, look how much that helped!"

"You can't ignore the rest of your progress because of one minor setback!"

"Minor?!" Helga repeated.

"Ok, one major setback, but still." Patty insisted and watched as Helga hid her face again. "What I'm saying is that if anyone out there can handle your misandry and help you through it as a friend then it's Arnold. He's good for you, Helga. He's the exception."

"I'm not good for him though."

"Oh, be a little selfish, would you? Also, I think that's crap. Look what's happened now that he is without you. Gerald had to practically pull him out of bed just to talk to him the first day he visited him."

"He'll get over it… When I think about how better he would have been, if I had just never dated him to begin with, I feel so guilty."

"I don't think he would have been any better." Patty insisted. "Arnold can handle a lot more than you think, Helga. He's not some weak little boy. I know that's how he used to be, but he's grown up. Getting his parents back into his life did wonders to him even though I still kinda think his parents suck."

Helga chuckled. "They are right about me though. I'm not good for him."

"What the hell do they know about you or even their son? They left him for twelve years! Their opinion doesn't matter. Arnold knows you and you know Arnold." Patty said and put her hand on her arm again. "Helga, he _is_ the exception. If anyone can deal with your shit it's him. Don't think so little of him."

Helga was about to say something, but the song on the radio caught her ears. She turned to look at the radio in disbelief. Patty look at it too, smirking at the radio station's timing. Helga groaned and let her forehead smack onto the table.

"Oh, criminy. Turn that off, would you?"

"Hit a nerve?" Patty asked bitterly, but turned the radio off anyway.

"Shut up."

* * *

Little did Helga know that Arnold was listening to the exact same radio station at that moment. He hadn't turned off the song though even when he recognized it and felt his heart sting from the words.

" _The only exception_ …" Arnold mumbled and gave a bitter chuckle.

"Arnold, are you coming down for dinner?" Stella's sweet voice asked outside Arnold's door.

"Yeah." He replied and got out of his bed.

Arnold threw on some fresh clothes and met his mom outside. She kissed his forehead and walked with him downstairs until they reached the dining room. They all greeted him fondly and he gave a tired smile back. It wasn't like he hadn't seen them in weeks, but it felt like a very long time when you were as close to your family as Arnold was.

The dinner was quiet for a long time. Arnold could feel that his family wanted to ask him how he felt, if he was planning on going back to school tomorrow or if he had heard from Helga. He was happy they weren't asking, especially his parents. He had hated telling them in particular what had happened. He knew how they felt about Helga and he knew they would blame her for everything. His grandparents had been good at keeping them in check to make sure they didn't just salt his wound, but there was a limit to how long you could make two adults with minds of their own shut up. That limit was reached.

"I knew it was gonna end in heartbreak." Miles muttered, mostly to himself.

"Miles." Phil said warningly, but continued eating his dinner as if nothing had happened.

"No, dad, I need to say this!" Miles said and looked at his son who looked back at him. "I just want you to know that this is not your fault, Arnold. You never did anything wrong at all."

"That's right, sweety." Stella chimed in. "This is all on Helga."

Arnold frowned, but tried to ignore the comments. "You make it sound like Helga's to blame for everything." He couldn't help but argue though.

"Of course it is!" Stella said in shock. "Who else would be to blame?'

"Well, it takes two to tango." Arnold argued. "Also, you guys don't know all the details so just… please let it go, ok?"

Miles was quiet for a moment, but then he shook his head like he just couldn't control himself. "I've always had a bad feeling about that Pataki girl."

"Miles, Arnold asked you to shut up." Phil scolded.

"He did not!"

"He put it more politely, but it's the same thing! Also, he's right. You don't know Helga like he does, so don't talk like you've known her for 16 years when it's only been 3."

"Those 3 years was enough to show me that she does whatever the hell she wants!"

"Stop it…" Arnold begged in a whisper, but Miles didn't hear him.

"She drinks god knows how many times a week and pulls Arnold into those drinking habits. She shows no respect for the people around her, including Arnold, and she doesn't care about anyone but herself!"

"Stop it!" Arnold shouted and instantly started coughing. His throat had gotten a shock from his sudden outburst, but the coughing fit ended soon enough. "Don't talk about Helga! Grandpa is right; you don't know anything about her and you don't know anything about our relationship either!"

"Arnold, sweety—"

"No, don't _sweety_ me right now!" Arnold told his mom and glared at his dad. "Helga tried so hard to do something she was uncomfortable with for _my_ sake. Do you have any idea what she's been through and how hard it was for her to try and date me? No, you don't, because you weren't there! You weren't there when Helga came crying here because her parents were fighting, you weren't there when Helga helped me more times than I can count, but you _were_ there when she helped me find you in San Lorenzo and yet somehow, that doesn't mean anything!"

"Arnold," Miles said sternly. "a few good deeds doesn't make up for—"

" _A few_?! It was much more than a few! And who says you get to decide that anyway?!" Arnold shouted. He couldn't help himself. He just felt so much anger and rage all of a sudden and he wanted to be polite and keep it in, but he just couldn't. The words poured out of him before he could think. "You don't have any right to return after 12 years and then start telling me who I should or shouldn't be friends with! Don't pretend that you know anything about Helga, me or what we've been through! This is just as much my fault! Would you please just stop blaming everything on Helga all the time?"

Arnold stood up from the chair and walked out of the room, leaving his stunned parents behind him. He had never raised his voice at them, he had never dared. He had been so happy that they were finally back in his life and a part of him had feared that one wrong move would make them leave him again. This time, that fear was forgotten. They had blamed Helga for whatever they wanted before, but this hurt even more than before. He wasn't going to let them think they could say whatever they wanted. Parents or not.

* * *

Arnold had been about to fall asleep, with Helga's picture cradled in his embrace, when a knock woke him up. He said it was ok to come in and Phil and Gertie walked inside, wearing their usual, kind smiles. Arnold smiled back at them as they went to sit on each side of him on the bed.

"You know your parents just don't know any better, right, Short Man?" Phil asked.

"I know and I'm not angry or anything… I just didn't want to hear anymore."

"Don't blame you, Kimba." Gertie said and kissed the top of his head. "Human parents don't really know what to do with their cubs. That's why I've learned all my parenting skills from animals! They always knows what their cubs need!"

Arnold chuckled at his grandma's usual crazy banter, but it didn't cheer him up as it usually would have. "I don't know what to do… I want to call Helga, but I don't know if she even wants to talk to me or if I'll just make things worse."

"Actually, Arnold, Pookie and I have talked about going to talk to her ourselves." Phil said with his usual toothless grin. "Maybe she'd listen to us?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no, I'm afraid she'd feel put on the spot if you do that. Thank you, really, but… I don't think it would help."

"Don't be so sure, Short Man. We can be quite convincing." Phil said and grinned at Gertie. "Isn't that right, Pookie?"

"Yes, Popsicle Chin!" Gertie agreed and made an evil snicker while she pulled a rope out of seemingly nowhere and tightened it in her grasp.

"Oh, no, please, you two! Just leave Helga alone, ok?" Arnold begged, afraid of what his crazy grandparents had in mind.

"Ok, Short Man. We'll leave her alone." Phil said casually and stood up from the bed.

"Grandpa…" Arnold warned while his grandma followed. "I mean it!"

"Of course you mean it!" Phil grinned. "Goodnight."

Arnold was about to say something more, but his grandparents were already outside his door. He could hear them laugh to themselves and somehow, he had a feeling they were just going to do whatever they wanted. Like usual.

* * *

Helga yawned as she walked out of yet another day of school without Arnold. She was starting to get worried and had been debating all day whether she would be allowed to go and check on him. A familiar Packard caught her eyes though. She looked towards it and saw Phil and Gertie waving at her. She waved back in confusion before she headed towards them. She was about to say hello to them right before Gertie walked behind her and put a bag over her head. Helga shrieked in surprise, but didn't fight against the elderly couple as they threw her into the Packard and drove off with her.

When the bag was finally pulled off Helga's head she glared at Gertie. "What did you do that for?!"

"It was fun, Eleanor!" Gertie excused and put the bag away.

Helga waved her hand in front of her nose. "You could have chosen a cleaner bag though… Where are we?" she asked while Phil opened the door for her. She stepped outside and looked up at the big building in front of her. " _Circle Theater_? Why are we here?"

"Helga, have I ever told you the story about how Pookie and I met?" Phil asked while Gertie started running around Circle Theater.

"Uh… no?" Helga answered questioningly, wondering why Arnold's grandparents had kidnapped her to tell her an old love story.

"Pookie and I were actually classmates ever since pre-k just like with you and Arnold."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, but we were _not_ friends. Gertie used to pick on me a lot. Like calling me names, making fun of me, pulling pranks on me and getting me into trouble all the time!"

"You're kidding!" Helga bellowed and looked towards Gertie who was in the middle of stealing some _souvenirs_ in the form of the posters on Circle Theater. "Actually, that doesn't surprise me that much."

"I really hated her as a kid." Phil said with a far-off look in his eyes. "So when she told me that she actually really liked me when we got into high school, I couldn't believe it!"

"Don't blame you."

"But she was serious and stubborn so even if I told her I couldn't see her like that, she kept following me around. It was pretty annoying to begin with so I told her to stop. Then she apologized to me for the first time in our lives. She apologized not just for following me around all the time, but for bullying me when we were children, the whole shebang. And I was so shocked that I didn't get to move away when she kissed me. After that, I was hooked. It was only a matter of time before I fell for her too."

Phil neighed happily while Helga stared at him in shock. "So… just from one day to the other, you fell in love with Gertie?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, Helga. It wasn't until we were in our 20s that we went on our first date! To Circle Theater, actually." Phil said and looked back at the building. "I said I was hooked, but that's only because Gertie got me wrapped around her finger! She never gave up on me and she's the kind of woman to get what she wants. She's a good person and good things come to good people who are patient. She waited for me for 20 years… and look at us now!"

"You fight all the time though." Helga pointed out with a smirk.

"That's because she still picks on me!" Phil said dramatically. "Like when she decides to only serve us watermelon for three nights in a row."

Helga couldn't help but give a hearty snicker, but she still had one question left. "But haven't you hurt her a lot over the years? I mean… she was in love with you and you didn't feel the same way for so long. That must have hurt."

"Oh, it probably did." Phil agreed and grinned. "But I'd like to think I made it up for her with the love I've given her since then. You see, Helga, when people love you, they forgive you for your mistakes. That's just how it is. And some people love you unconditionally."

At that, Gertie came running back with the posters in her embrace. She showed them off to Phil excitedly, telling him they had to go and see every show this month in the theater. Phil agreed without question and she kissed him lovingly. Helga watched the entire display and a fond smile grew on her face. She looked at Circle Theater one more time and then asked if they could take her back to Sunset Arms with them. They agreed happily and then got into the Packard.

Once they returned to Sunset Arms, Helga was on her way up the stairs to see Arnold, but ran into Stella and Miles in the hallway. The three of them stayed still, Stella and Miles shocked to see Helga again and Helga uncomfortable in front of Arnold's parents after what she had done. She took a deep breath and smiled at them.

"I'm sorry for everything up till now… I'm young, stupid and I have my demons… but I want to try. And I want to try for my sake as well as for Arnold's. I can't promise anything because I'm not psychic and I can't see into the future… but for the first time, I really believe that I can do this."

Stella and Miles weren't given a chance to answer before Helga had run past them and up the stairs. She felt an odd sort of rush go through her and she didn't calm down until she was in front of Arnold's room. She took a couple of breaths before she knocked on the door.

"Gerald?" Arnold asked from inside his room.

Helga chuckled. "Try again." She answered. Instantly, she could hear scrambling from inside the room and she could easily imagine Arnold rushing to open the door for her instead of just telling her she could come in. The door was opened and the wind blew in Helga's face. She looked Arnold over; he was wearing a blue pajamas, his hair was tussled and his eyes were slightly red. He was a total mess. "Hey, Football Head."

Arnold took a couple of deep breaths before he answered. "Hi…"

The boy couldn't believe it; when he had heard Helga's voice, he would have sworn he was hearing things. Why would she be here after all? Now that he could see her, he suddenly felt very conscious about the way he looked. He ran his hand through his hair and gulped.

"Uh, why—"

"Can I come in?" Helga interrupted.

Arnold looked at her in shock, but nodded and stepped aside to let her in. The girl walked inside and looked the room over in surprise. It was usually so neat and right now it just was _not_. Still, it wasn't nearly as messy as most teenagers' rooms were on an everyday basis. Helga watched as Arnold walked past her to grab his robe.

"You embarrassed about being in your jim-jams, Football Head?" Helga asked sarcastically.

Arnold blushed at the question, but continued tying the robe around his body. Once he was done, he sat down on his bed. "Are you here to… um, did my grandparents—"

"Put a bag over my head and kidnap me? Oh, yeah."

"What?!"

"Relax, it was fun. Sort of."

Arnold sighed and smacked his face into the palm of his hand. "I told them not to do anything…" he swore. He looked up when he felt his bed move and saw that Helga had sat down next to him.

"Well, you might wanna thank them later." Helga said with a smile. Before Arnold could ask her what she meant, her smile faded. "Your eyes are red."

Arnold rubbed his eyes. "Um, yeah… I haven't been sleeping very well."

"I'm gonna choose to believe that." Helga said a bit sadly and sighed. "Arnold… do you know how your grandparents met?"

Arnold looked at Helga in surprise. "Um… no, I don't think so actually."

Helga smiled. "Well, they just told me the whole story and I gotta say… I don't really like mushy love stories, but that one really touched me."

"Yeah? W—Well, what did they say?"

"Phil told me how Gertie used to bully him a lot… and that he actually hated her for many years, even when she told him she really liked him when they were our age."

"Wow, I… had no idea."

"But Gertie is a stubborn woman so she kept following him around, hoping he'd someday forgive her and maybe even fall in love with her." Helga explained and looked into Arnold's emerald green eyes. "She never gave up on her love for him… even though it took her years. That's kinda amazing, right?"

"Yeah… grandma's amazing." Arnold agreed with a smile. "But, Helga, I'm confused… Why are you telling me this? Or rather, why did grandpa tell you about this?"

"As slow as ever." Helga said while rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry!" Arnold said dramatically and Helga looked at him in surprise. "I'm sorry I'm so stupid and can't control myself!"

"Arnold, I wasn't—"

"But I can't help it, Helga! I'm in love with you so I say and do stupid things sometimes!"

"What does that have to do with—"

"But it's not your fault and it's not your responsibility!" Arnold said and took a moment to collect himself. Helga also went quiet and waited for him to continue to talk. "What I say, do or feel it not _your_ responsibility, Helga. I have a mind of my own, I make my own choices and I chose to date you even though I knew you didn't feel the same way and might never do. I knew what I was getting into and I'm sorry for making you think you hurt me. You haven't hurt me, not once through all of this… It hurt when you gave up, but it's not something you should feel guilty about ever. You did something amazing for me, you tried to do something most people wouldn't."

"Arnold." Helga said gently, but he didn't hear her.

"I just want you to be happy, Helga… with or without me."

"Arnold."

"But I really hope you can still be my friend. It really won't hurt me to be around you just as a friend, it'd hurt me so much more to never be around you again, so I'm begging you—"

"Arnold!" Helga called again and put her hands on his face.

The boy looked up at her, flinching at her touch. She looked him over for a moment before she moved closer. She could see his eyes growing bigger in surprise, but he stayed perfectly still while she kissed him. _Perfectly still_ was even an understatement, he was terrified of moving. Somehow, he was sure it was a dream. He had to still be sleeping and this whole thing was the universe's cruel way of messing with him.

When Helga ended the tender kiss and leaned back, she smiled gently. "Would you listen to _me_ now?" she asked. Arnold nodded mechanically. "I figured that… if Phil can fall in love with someone who treated him like dirt… I can fall in love with someone who treats me like a treasure."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Ah, l'amour… Not sure why that was the only thing I wanted to write in this author's note xD**

 **Oh, and the song Arnold and Helga were listening to on the radio was** _ **The only exception**_ **by Paramore.**


	11. Disinfectant

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After Helga had officially given up on trying to fall in love with Arnold after Zoe convinced her that she was only hurting Arnold by trying, even Gerald had a hard time comforting the blonde boy. Even Helga seemed to be just as sad as Arnold was to Patty's frustration because what good did it do for both blondes to be so miserable?**_

 _ **Arnold's parents were now given yet another chance to show their disdain towards Helga, but Arnold still stood up for her even though she had hurt him as much as she had. His grandparents stood up for Helga as well and even went to talk with her after school. Phil told Helga the story about how it took him years to fall in love with Gertie, but that her love for him and her patience brought him to love her more than he could ever have imagined. Helga had never believed as much in love as she did after that.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Thank you to the random hate anon! You actually inspired some stuff in this chapter ;D**

 **Oh, and to another anonymous reviewer who asked why it takes me years to update: It's called a life, something you should get if you don't have anything better to do than complain why someone providing you free stories isn't working faster on something they aren't getting a paycheck for :P This isn't my job, sweetheart, and I have school and other hobbies to tend to. Don't wanna wait? Then don't and move onto a different author. It's people like you who make fanfic authors not want to write at all.**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 11: "Disinfectant"

"If Phil can fall in love with someone who treated him like dirt… I can fall in love with someone who treats me like a treasure." Helga whispered with a loving smile on her face while her forehead rested against Arnold's.

He couldn't believe it. He felt just as relieved and happy than when she had agreed the first time to be friends with him again and try to see if she could feel the same. This time, she said she believed in it. She truly believed it might happen. Arnold didn't care if she was giving him false hope. He didn't care if it would end in heartbreak later. All he cared about was her with him right now, sitting right in front of him and smiling that amazing smile of hers.

The happy image started fading, or rather it started melting right in front of him. Helga's face contorted with the background and he reached out for her in a panic. The sweet smile twisted into a Cheshire-like grin before she, along with everything else around him, faded into the darkness. Arnold called out for Helga, he didn't care about anything else. His entire room had disappeared, but all he cared about was finding Helga in this dark maze. He felt like he was running around, but getting nowhere. He felt exhausted, but hadn't moved an inch.

It was then Arnold woke up with a scream. While struggling to breathe, he looked around. The stars were shining brightly above him and he was lying in his bed as he should be at 3am in the morning. It had been a dream turned into a nightmare, but how much of it was just a dream? Helga's face turning into Play Doh he knew was a dream, but what about the part before? Had he just imagined that? He had to know.

Arnold grabbed his phone and called Helga without a second thought. He was too riled up to remind himself what the time was. It took a couple of rings, but finally a very groggy and annoyed Helga answered the phone.

"Helga, how much of it was a dream?"

"Huh?" Helga asked in confusion as she rubbed her eyes. "What the hell kinda nightmare did you have, Football Head?"

"W—Well, it was a good dream at first a—and then your face turned into, I don't know, something that looked like a model agency's worst nightmare!"

 _Interesting metaphor. I'll steal that,_ Helga thought and sighed. "Well, I'm pretty sure no agency would hire me even as my face is, but no, my face looks normal." She explained and quickly touched her face. "Yep, it's normal."

"What about… the first part?"

"The first part?"

"The part where you… um… where you—"

"Arnold, are you asking me if we're back together or not?"

Arnold gulped. "Yes."

"Yes. Yes, we are, bucko." Helga answered as if talking to a child. She heard Arnold sigh in relief, but her tone turned angry. "But if you wake me up in the middle of the night _again_ then we're over _again_!"

With that, Helga hung up. Arnold looked at his phone in slight surprise, but started chuckling. He whispered a quick _sorry_ to the phone before he put it back on his nightstand. He lied down, sighing happily before he fell back asleep.

* * *

"You look happy, boy. Something good happen?" Big Al asked.

Arnold was still whistling while he carried some glasses behind the counter. "Is it that obvious?" he asked before starting to put the glasses in the dishwasher.

"You look happier than a guy who thought a cat has done its business on his pie, but it turned out to be an extra big blackberry."

Arnold's face scrunched; he would never get used to Big Al's weird homebrewed sayings. "I think I might be even happier than that." He answered. He was about to explain why, but saw someone behind big Al's shoulder that made him forget anything but her name. "Helga!"

"Hey, Arnold." Helga greeted. "And Big Al."

"Hi, kiddo. You here to get something to eat?"

"Yeah, Miriam and I would like some BLT sandwiches." She answered.

"Coming right up." Big Al replied before going out in the back to make the sandwiches.

Arnold snuck over to the counter and leaned over towards Helga. "Hi."

Helga quirked an eyebrow at the sight of Arnold's dimwitted smile. "Hi, you big dope." She replied. "You look happy. Something good happen?"

"Naw, nothing special.

"Nothing special, huh? Yeah, I'll believe it when you wipe that grin off!"

" _You_ wipe it off." Arnold challenged. Helga instantly started rubbing his face with both of her hands. Arnold grabbed them and pouted at her. "Not what I had in mind."

"Control yourself. We're in public." Helga joked.

"Public?" Arnold repeated and looked around the empty café. "Whatever you say, Helga."

Helga shook her head in amusement. "Hey, wanna come with me to the pet store tomorrow after school?"

"You finally getting your bird?"

"Yep, just so I can flip people off with it." Helga joked. "I think I'm gonna get a green parrot."

"You sure you want something that'll talk back at you?"

"I'll teach it not to."

"Good luck." Arnold laughed. "Hopefully it will have your charm."

"Oh, shut up."

Arnold chuckled for a moment. "Of course I'll come with you."

"I wasn't _really_ asking, you know."

"Because you knew I'd say yes?"

"Exactly!" Helga replied and laughed with Arnold. Big Al came back into the café, carrying two wrapped up sandwiches. He grinned at the two teenagers. "Quick worker as always, Al."

"I aim to please." Big Al replied and gave Helga the sandwiches in a paper bag. "And I'm pleasing the environment too!"

"And we all appreciate it." Helga answered while taking the bag. "Thanks, Al. See you tomorrow, Football Head."

"See you." Arnold replied and waved at Helga while she walked away. Once she was outside, he could feel Big Al smiling at him. He looked up at the big man and tried to wipe his grin off. "What?"

"I do wonder if the boy is in love." Big Al said sarcastically in a saccharine voice.

Arnold could feel a blush creep up on his cheeks. "Guilty." He said without a care.

"Congratulations!" Big Al said and gave Arnold a sideways hug. "You look more twitter pated than a doe in spring."

"Can't disagree with that."

"Works out for me too, actually." Big Al said. "You know if Helga's looking for a job?"

"Uh… I—I don't know, actually. She hasn't mentioned it…" Arnold confessed and then looked at Big Al with big eyes. "You want to hire her?"

"Yes. She knows the place, I've known her for years and you two are dating. It seems like she would be a good first choice. Also, she seems happier lately. Like she doesn't want to tear me a new one."

"I guess… It would be pretty cool to work with her too." Arnold admitted, but he wasn't sure how good of a first choice Helga would be. "But, you know, Helga doesn't really have any working experience and I don't know how she'd be with customers."

"You can teach her." Big Al said and wiggled his eyebrows. "Wouldn't that be fun?"

Arnold blushed again and shrugged. "It would… I just wanted to warn you first. She might not want the job either."

"That's why I'm counting on you to convince her, little buddy." Big Al said, patted Arnold's back and went in the back.

 _Convincing Helga to do something?_ Arnold thought and chuckled. _Maybe I should get grandpa and grandma on the job._

* * *

"It's good to have you back, Arnold." Nadine said while smiling at the blondes. "And to see you two together again."

"Thanks." Arnold said a bit awkwardly as he scratched his neck. He peeked at Helga who seemed a bit awkward as well, but not nearly as much. "It's good to be back."

"And have Helga back I imagine." Sid joked and nudged his elbow at Helga's arm. "What made you change your mind?"

"Yeah, I'd like to know that too." Zoe said bitterly though she was sitting a bit further away from the blondes than the others were.

"I got a reality check." Helga answered. "I thought I was protecting Arnold by staying away, but I realized I was hurting him by giving up already. Besides, I don't like doing things halfheartedly. And Phil kinda told me some things that made me realize that I'm not a lost cause after all."

"So, you got manipulated into going back to Arnold by his grandpa?" Zoe asked.

Helga sneered. "With that logic then you're the one who manipulated me into leaving him to begin with, wasn't it?" she asked seethingly, and Zoe huffed and looked away.

Despite how happy Arnold was with Helga's reply, he couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't a little bit true. Helga had always admired Phil and Gertie. Perhaps that admiration had overshadowed her own feelings a bit? He didn't like that thought, but he didn't get much time to dwell on it.

"So, can we get a smooch then?" Harold joked and started making kissing sounds.

"Don't push it, Pig Boy." Helga warned.

Harold huffed. "Madam Fortress Mommy…"

"How is it going anyway, Helga?" Sid asked.

"What are you getting at?"

"No, I mean, with the whole… hating and beating on boys thing?"

"Subtle." Rhonda whispered while rolling her eyes.

"Well… um… that one's a little harder. I—I mean, I can't exactly work on it unless I'm put in a situation where I want to beat someone." Helga answered.

"I can be your test dummy." Zac offered and went as close to Helga as physically possible. "On a scale from 1-10, how much do you wanna punch me right now?"

"100." Helga answered while clenching her fist. "Get outta my face."

"She's got a long way to go." Zac stated with a smirk.

"But she can do it." Arnold insisted and smiled at Helga. "You can talk your way out of more situations than you can with a fist."

"Spoken like a true pacifist." Zac said and rolled his eyes.

"Like I always say." Helga agreed with a grin. "But Arnold's right, I have to learn to use my words instead. It's a pretty important step."

"I'd say!" Rhonda agreed. "I have to say, Helga, you scared me to death when you beat up Wolfgang and the others. You looked like a tank."

"It was awesome." Zac laughed. The others gawked at him in shock. "What? As long as we're not the ones she's beating up, who cares? I think it's cool that a girl can stand up for herself."

"There's a difference between standing up for yourself and going too far." Arnold interjected. "And that's the line Helga needs to learn."

"Could we change the subject?" Helga asked in slight annoyance. She was getting sick of the conversation. She knew Arnold was right, but they didn't have to keep reminding her. She knew what she had to do; it was the actual act of doing it that might be difficult.

"Sure." Arnold agreed. "Actually, I've been wondering, Helga, um… do you want to get a job?"

Helga looked at Arnold suspiciously. "What are you getting at, Short Man?"

"Nothing! Just, uh… Big Al kinda wants to know if you want to work at his café." Arnold explained.

The whole classroom was quiet for a moment before everyone, except the blondes, started laughing.

"You've gotta be kidding!" Sid bellowed, his eyes tearing up from laughing.

"Helga as a waitress!" Stinky agreed.

Harold was holding his stomach while laughing. "I'd pay to see that!"

"I guess you will if you go to Big Al's Café!" Sheena said, trying to keep her laughter down.

"Why is this so funny?" Helga asked, clearly offended. She had a feeling she knew what was so funny though.

"Well, you _do_ know that Big Al runs the _customer is always right_ rule, right?" Rhonda asked, her laughter dying down. "You'd have to smile and be polite no matter what people do or say."

"I know. When Arnold first started working there, I did my best to piss him off."

"I remember." Arnold said sourly. "But Big Al really wants to hire you, Helga. He said you're his first choice."

"You're kidding?" everyone asked in unison, including Helga.

"No! He said that since you already know the place you have an advantage. He also liked that we already knew each other so… you know, I could teach you."

Lila cooed. "I know why you want to work with Helga!" she sang in a sing-song voice. "It's so you can be even closer to her! That's adorable, Arnold, just ever so adorable."

Helga glared jokingly at Arnold. "Figures you would have some ulterior motive." She said and smirked. "I don't know… Big Al knows what I'm like, right?"

"He still insisted." Arnold answered. "But if you don't want to then that's that."

"I just don't get it. Why not Gerald? He knows the place and you've been best friends for years too." Helga pointed out. Arnold was about to answer before Helga gave an _I'm-about-to-make-an-inappropriate-joke_ smile. "Let me guess; it's because he's black?"

Gerald promptly smacked the back of Helga's head, but the blonde girl just laughed. "Funny, Pataki." He said sourly, but chuckled for a moment when he saw that Phoebe couldn't help but giggle as well. They knew Helga' humor was crude and horrible, but she didn't mean anything by it and that's why they could laugh too.

"He asked for you." Arnold said, skipping smoothly past the joke. "Maybe he wants a girl?"

"He shouldn't hire Helga then." Gerald said and was instantly rewarded with an elbow to his stomach. "Karma is a bitch, Helga."

"Indeed." She agreed with a wide grin before she looked back at Arnold. "I'll think about it."

* * *

"I already regret this."

"Regret this! Regret this!"

Helga groaned loudly and put her pillow over her ears. "How do you make a parrot shut up?"

"Stop talking yourself I guess?" Arnold suggested and chuckled with the parrot. "I think it's incredible that it's already copying you."

"I didn't think it would talk so much." Helga admitted and threw her pillow back on the bed. "Maybe some treats will make it shut up."

Arnold watched while Helga gave the parrot a stick filled with fruits and nuts. It squawked and started munching on it instantly. Helga sighed in relief when it stopped talking and only the sound of it pecking on the treat filled the room. She went straight back to her bed and lied down.

"That thing already has me tired. Maybe this was a mistake."

"You just need to get used to him." Arnold said and looked around, wondering where he should sit. He decided to stay where he was. "What are you gonna call him?"

"Hmm, let's see… he's obnoxious, won't stop talking and I'm stuck with him. How about Arnold?" Helga suggested with a cheeky smile on her face.

Arnold couldn't help but frown. "You're not stuck with me…"

"Oh, but you admit the other things?" Helga asked jokingly, but she could see something was bothering him. "Ok, Football Head, spit it out."

Arnold was almost surprised that Helga had seen right through him, but she had always been observant and he was always see-through. "It's just… You don't feel forced, do you?"

Helga quirked an eyebrow. "To get a pet?"

"No." Arnold said with a small chuckle. "I mean… to be with me. I don't know what grandpa said, but he didn't say anything that made you feel, I don't know, obligated, right?"

"Arnold, we're talking about Phil and Gertie here. As convincing as they can be, they're not cruel or particularly clever. Also, when have I ever done anything people wanted me to do?"

"Well…" Arnold said, unsure if he wanted to answer that question or not. "Zoe wanted you to leave me."

Helga scowled. "True, but she caught me at a bad moment. I was already afraid of myself and the thought of me hurting you scared the shit outta me. Her timing was rotten! Or perfect, I guess." She explained. "Also, and I'll deny it if you tell anyone else, I _did_ talk to Dr. Bliss about this."

"You did?"

"Doi." Helga scoffed. "I talked about everything; the fight, our talk, my talk with Zoe, that I broke up with you because I was afraid of hurting you even more… Now, Dr. Bliss isn't allowed to tell me what to do and she never would even if she was allowed… but she also said some things that made me reconsider my decision. That was the day before Phil and Gertie kidnapped me."

"What did Dr. Bliss say?"

"Nothing specific… she just spoke to my brain instead of my heart and made me do the same. People say to follow your heart, but your heart isn't always that smart. Thing is, Arnold, I'm following both my heart and brain this time by trying again. Before the whole Gerald field thing I was only trying to be with you because I felt like I owed it to you and to myself so I could get better… but now I'm doing it for another reason as well."

Arnold could feel his heart get stuck in his throat, but he managed to force some words out of him anyway. "And what's that?"

Helga looked at the floor, her feet kicking the air in a shy manner. "I don't wanna answer that."

Arnold looked at her in surprise and disappointment. "Oh, come on, Helga." He begged, but when he saw the mischievous look on her face, he laughed. "That's not fair!"

"Well, life sucks, darling." Helga argued snootily.

Arnold could feel his heartbeat quicken at the nickname. "It would give me some peace."

Helga cooed. "But I like you when you're all nervous!" she said and giggled.

"Helga, are you flirting?" Arnold asked before he could stop himself. He was just so amazed by her words. She had always been playful, but there was something in the way she was looking at him, the tone in her voice… something oddly sweet was there he hadn't seen before.

Helga's blue eyes widened. "Am I?" she asked. "Was that flirting?"

"Feels like it…" Arnold confessed, his cheeks reddening at the thought.

Helga scratched her neck nervously. "Maybe? I mean, it wasn't something I was doing on purpose or anything, but maybe?" she suggested shyly.

Helga looked up when she heard Arnold coming closer to her. He had a look in her eyes that made her feel nervous, but not afraid. Once he was right in front of her, he leaned down to her level and placed his hands on her bed. She swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes, expecting him to kiss her. When it didn't happen, she opened her eyes again.

"Sorry…" Arnold whispered. "I forgot… only one kiss a day."

Helga looked at Arnold's shy smile. "Well… there can be exceptions." She heard herself say. _Did I really just say that?_ She wondered. _Do I want to kiss him? Well, I did close my eyes when he got close, but… oh, I don't know! I'm such a basket case!_

"Really?" Arnold asked a bit hopefully and moved so close to Helga that she could feel his breath on her face.

The blonde girl nodded eagerly, but her heart was beating so harshly against her ribcage that it made her jumpy and she flinched when his hand touched her cheek. He was taking his time, caressing her cheek and looking deeply into her eyes.

"Arnold, why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Being so slow… you're just making me more nervous."

Arnold chuckled. "Sorry." He said and placed his lips against hers.

Helga gasped silently. She could feel her legs trembling and she was struggling to breathe through her nose while Arnold kissed her. It wasn't a particularly deep kiss, but it felt so emotional because of the whole atmosphere in her room. Not to mention that it was _her_ room; they had never kissed in her personal space like this and it made her feel strange. She didn't know what kind of strange though.

Arnold's hand, which had been resting on the bed a moment ago, went to Helga's hip. She instantly squirmed, pulled away and gave a giggle. Arnold looked at her in surprise.

"That tickles, you moron!" Helga reminded him and scratched the place he had tickled.

Arnold started laughing instantly. "That's right! You've always been ticklish."

"Yeah, and you always took advantage of it!" Helga argued and then thought about it for a moment. "Which seems oddly mean for you now that I think about it… Why did you always tickle me so much?"

Arnold blushed bright red and looked away. "Um… I like your laugh?"

Helga gave him a slanted look. "Arnold."

"I'm secretly mean?"

"Arnold!"

"It was an excuse to touch you."

"Arnold—wait, what?" Helga said, realizing Arnold's tone had changed. Arnold kept looking away from her, completely mortified by what he had just confessed. Helga felt a jumble of emotions before she settled on one; amusement. "You know, you're more cunning than I thought."

Arnold looked at Helga's smiling face in surprise. "You're not angry?"

Helga gave a thoughtful hum. "I probably would have some months ago… but not now." She answered, the smile staying on her face. "Things are different now."

Those words filled Arnold with so much joy that he couldn't help but jump into Helga's arms. She gave a high-pitched shriek when she landed on her back, but caught him easily. She was about to scold him for scaring her, but he silenced her with a kiss. She gasped again, the jumble of feelings beginning all over. The adrenaline from being surprised mixed with curiosity and anxiety. The feeling of Arnold's weight on her made her feel overpowered and she didn't like that. Subconsciously, she started shivering and put her hands on his arms. She wasn't sure if he had noticed her discomfort or not, but he stopped the kiss and removed himself from her, but he stayed above her.

Arnold gave a mischievous smirk before he started tickling Helga. "No!" she screamed in shock before she started laughing uncontrollably. "Stop, Arnold! I'm serious! You asshole! Arnold!"

Arnold stopped after a few seconds, laughing from the adrenaline himself. Helga was panting heavily, a chuckle still escaping from her lips every once in a while she regained her composure.

"Jerk…" Helga whispered with a smile. "I think I'll take the job at Al's café."

Arnold looked at her in surprise. "You call me a jerk and then decide to be my colleague?"

"You've always been a jerk." Helga said sarcastically and stretched on the bed. "I just figured that getting a job would be a good opportunity. I need the money so I don't have to sponge off Miriam and it might be a good idea to be forced to be kind to people even when I want to punch them. I'll look at it as practice."

"It's also a perk that we get to spend more time together, isn't it?" Arnold asked with a playful smile.

Helga hummed thoughtfully. "I think that's more a perk for _you_." She replied cheekily.

Arnold shook his head in amusement. "Oh, you really shouldn't have said that." He warned and wiggled his fingers at her before he started tickling her again.

* * *

"Well, Helga, you picked up on everything even quicker than I expected. You think you're ready to be on your own?"

"On my own?"

"Well, Arnold will be here, but I meant for you to _actually_ ring up customers."

"Uh… sure." Helga answered, but looked nervously at Arnold. She wasn't afraid of forgetting anything. She had memorized the whole thing quickly, years of ordering from this café helped with that and Arnold was a good teacher. It was the being polite to customers thing she was nervous about. "As long as no jerks come by."

"There'll always be jerks, Helga." Big Al warned. "The other day, some guy came in here and made some cruel joke about me."

"About you? What do you mean?' Helga asked. Al quirked an eyebrow at her. "Oh… I would have kicked his homophobic balls into his stomach."

Al gave a hearty laugh. "Hey, that's what you get when you are as fabulous as I am." He jokes and patted her shoulder. "The thing is that I held my head high and ignored him."

"Maybe you shouldn't have… Why do you take it?"

"Good customer service." Big Al replied, patted Helga's shoulder and walked away. "Get to your cute little ass to work, honey!"

Helga shivered. _Gay or not, that's still creepy_. She thought and quickly went over to Arnold. "What did that customer say about Al?"

"Oh, um… something about him looking like a real, uh… trooper for the soldiers."

"Oh, ugh…" Helga groaned. "And I bet it was a man?"

"Helga…"

Helga threw her hands up. "I'm just saying."

Arnold watched while Helga walked back to the counter. "You're not wrong, but it still hurts to hear that." He whispered before going back to one of the tables to clean it.

Arnold made sure to listen clearly to Helga while she serviced customers. She was doing well, really well actually. Big Al had even flashed Arnold a secret thumbs-up at one point. Arnold had meekly given one back, but only because he knew Helga still hadn't been met with her biggest challenge yet.

As if the universe had a cruel sense of humor, Arnold recognized the next customer walking in, the last customer before they'd close the shop. His name was Mr. Sheck and he wanted everything done fast and perfectly, and he would be sure to tell you if you weren't living up to his standards. Arnold almost considered walking up to Helga and ask her take care of one of the tables instead, but Al had foreseen his intentions and shook his head at him. Arnold sighed, but stayed where he was and started mopping the floor.

Arnold could hear everything being said between Helga and Sheck, and it wasn't pretty. Helga wasn't used to making the sandwiches yet and being yelled at made her angry and mess things up even more. Arnold looked at Al again, but he shook his head. He needed to see if Helga could handle it the way she should. When the sandwich was finally finished and wrapped up, Sheck made sure Helga knew she was making him run late and that he thought she was the most hopeless girl he had ever met. It was the G-word that made Helga lose it.

"You know what, Mr. Sheck? Kiss my—"

Helga stopped herself from finishing the crude comment, but Mr. Sheck's face had turned red. "What were you about to say, little lady?" he asked, clearly ready to throw a complete hissy fit.

Helga looked like a broken record; her eyes were flying around in her head while she was cranking the wheels in her head, desperate to figure out a way to get herself out of this situation in a dignified way that would also satisfy Mr. Sheck. She seemed to skip the part about her own dignity and leaned forward to plan a kiss on Mr. Sheck's cheek. Arnold's jaw dropped to the floor in shock before his face curled in disgust.

"K—Kiss as an apology. I'm very sorry, sir." Helga said with her face contorted into shame and biting on her lip to stop herself from showing her disgust.

Mr. Sheck blinked about a million times before he muttered something about her being the weirdest girl he had ever met. He then took his sandwich and left the shop without another word. Helga stuck out her tongue and gagged visibly while she jogged towards Arnold.

"Were you about to say _kiss my ass_?" Arnold asked with a chuckle in his voice.

"Yes." Helga answered indifferently before her hands grabbed his cheeks and she pulled him into a kiss. Arnold gasped in surprise and he almost snapped the mop in his hands. The kiss lasted for quite a bit before Helga turned around to head into the dressing room.

"What was that for?" Arnold asked dazedly.

"Disinfectant!"

Arnold couldn't help but rest his forehead against the mop while he laughed. They were about to finish up for the day so there were no one else in the shop, but to be kissed in public by her like that made him feel an odd sense of accomplishment. When he looked up, he could see Big Al smirking at him, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Arnold blushed profoundly, having totally forgotten that Al had been watching the entire scene. Al made kissing sounds before he walked out of Arnold's sight. Arnold kept blushing for a moment, but the dreamy smile stayed on for the rest of the day.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: How many of you recognized the scene where Arnold calls Helga in the middle of the night? ;D That was 100% inspired from the first episode in the season after Kim and Ron get together. I totally shipped them when I was a kid, still kinda do xD**

 **Oh, and Big Al is the owner of "Bigal's café" in the opening of Hey Arnold! It was supposed to be Big Al, if I have understood correctly, but there wasn't room or something so I made it into Big Al xD Bigal sounds good too, but still :P Yes, he's gay in my story and yes, his homebrewed saying is from Blackadder.**

 **Also, any ideas to what Helga should name the parrot? I don't have any ideas for that really, only that I want the name to give Arnold some love in one way or another xD**


	12. It always works out

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:**

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: Anonymous reviewer: "** **Oh wowza did you see the electricity crackle between Helga and Zac? They were totally on the same wavelength on everything, she gets passionate when he gets close to her, and he's much more of a worthy challenge for her! Now that's what I'm talking about, real chemistry! Not Arnold , he makes Helga nervous when he gets close, and she sees him as a disinfectant. You're proving my point. Dig yourself a hole Arnold so that the real Helga can shine and be happy."**

 **I think I finally understand what you mean. You think that someone like Zac, who Helga instinctively wants to hit - like every other boy besides Arnold - would be better for getting her over her misandry? Ok, I see what you mean, sort of. That's one way of dealing with your hate, I guess. Expose yourself to someone who is willing to be your punching bag. May I just say how disturbing it is though that you called it chemistry? You know, maybe you should read my "Bad behavior" story. If violence and love is connected to you, I think you may enjoy that one :P I am telling you this one last time though: ZAC AND HELGA ARE NOT GETTING TOGETHER! This story clearly states "Arnold and Helga" as a couple in the description. Others have asked this as well: why the hell are you reading an Arnold and Helga love story when you clearly don't want them to be together? I mean, that would be the same as if I read an Arnold and Lila story x'D I just stay away from stories I don't like, but you seek them out – you a masochist? ;D**

 **Also, you do realize that the disinfectant part was a way for Helga to tell the viewers that Arnold is clean and pure to her while other men aren't, right? So you saying that her seeing him as a disinfectant proves they shouldn't be together makes zero sense xD**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 12: "It always works out"

" _I'll get my revenge on the world or at least 49% of the people in it_ —"

"Didn't take you for a plague rat." Zac's voice said into Helga's ear after he had taken the earbud out of her ear. She shrieked like a pig and threw her arm at him, successfully knocking him onto the ground next to her. He didn't fall far though since he had been kneeling next to her.

"For fuck's sake, you're worse than Arnold!" Helga cried out angrily. She pulled the earbuds out of her ears and sighed. "Wait, did you call me a plague rat? Are you an Emilie Autumn fan?"

"Oh, yeah." Zac answered while sitting next to Helga. "I didn't think you were the kind of girl who'd listen to her though."

"What did you think I would listen to, Nicki Minaj?" Helga asked seethingly.

"God, no, but I did imagine something more like… rock and punk?'

"I listen to that too… Emilie is just good for certain moods."

"And what certain mood would make you want to listen to _that_ song in particular?" Zac asked with one of those smug smiles Helga recognized from Bon-Bon.

"None of your business."

Zac kept smiling. "Trouble with Arnold?" he asked and that made Helga look at him. "Am I wrong?"

"You are, actually." Helga replied. "We've never been better."

"And yet you're singing a song about a girl wanting to murder all men in the world."

"That's a pretty one-sided analysis."

"I'm not wrong."

"You're not right either."

"Helga… come on. Arnold might not be the actual problem, but he has to do have something to do with it… and I bet I know what it is."

Helga sighed in annoyance and sneered at Zac. "Well then, come on, Mr. Know-it-all. What's wrong with me then? Give me your best shot."

"You miss fighting." Zac stated bluntly.

Helga couldn't help but look around in the school's hallway, just to make sure no one could hear him. She felt like a drug addict. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't give me that. I saw you fight those boys, like everyone else did! You _enjoyed_ that and not just because you hate boys."

"You don't know anything about me—"

"I know enough." Zac said and got so close to Helga that she could feel his breath on her face. "You're struggling not to hit me right now, aren't you?"

"Get outta my face." Helga ordered.

Zac looked down. "You're clenching your fist." He stated and the blonde immediately relaxed her grip. "Go ahead."

" _What_?"

"Hit me."

Helga scurried backwards. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Oh, look who's talking!" Zac said, smirked and pulled Helga back to him by her arm. She lifted her hand and smacked it across his jaw on pure instinct. He groaned and let go of her to nurse his sore chin. "Boy… you sure know to hit where it hurts."

Helga didn't say anything. She simply grabbed her bag, stood up and started walking.

"Helga." Zac said in a tone similar to a parent about to scold their child.

Helga considered walking away, but felt her feet get glued to the floor. "What?" she asked in annoyance.

"I can be your punching bag."

Helga turned around and watched while Zac stood up from the floor. "You're a masochist." She realized bluntly.

"I guess that's as good a word as any." Zac said and walked towards Helga.

"I'm not gonna help you get some sick pleasure out of—"

"You get sick pleasure from this too."

"Not the same kind, you freak—"

"Pleasure either way." Zac said and leaned down to Helga's ear. "You can take your frustration out on me whenever you want."

The shiver that ran through Helga felt like getting an electroshock. She felt cold, creeped out and in desperate need for a shower. She'd had a bad feeling about Zac for a while, but she hadn't been able to pinpoint her bad feeling. She thought it was simply because he was a strange boy for a long time. A boy she hadn't known since she was a kid, unlike Arnold and her other classmates, to make matters worse. Now she knew where the bad feeling had come from.

Helga started walking, feeling an odd spring in her step. She wasn't sure where she was going before she saw Arnold and some of the other boys sitting outside in the cold fall weather. She headed straight towards them and sat next to Arnold on the bench. He flinched in surprise.

"Helga, aren't you cold?" he asked in worry.

"Huh?" Helga muttered and looked at herself. "Oh, right, I wasn't planning on going outside, but then… kinda did. So my coat is still in the classroom."

Arnold processed the information for a moment before lifting his hand towards Helga's shoulder. She noticed it and leaned into him, letting him warm her up. Arnold smiled for a moment before he looked at Gerald, silently begging him to make the others stop staring at them so Helga wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

"Uh, Sid." Gerald said and swatted his hand on the big-nosed teen. "You were talking about the new South Park game."

"Oh, yeah! Uh, I played the demo last night and I'm telling you, it's gonna be sick!" Sid said excitedly and looked at Helga who looked back at him. "Did you play the first game, Helga?"

"Oh, yeah." Helga said with a smile. "Arnold and I played it together actually."

"You're kidding? _Arnold_?" Gerald said and sent Arnold a knowing smirk. The blonde boy rolled his eyes, not even trying to lie his way out of it.

"Yeah, took it like a real champ too." Helga teased. "He almost hurled at the abortion clinic."

The boys all groaned.

"Don't blame you, buddy!" Harold said and patted Arnold's back mockingly. "Those Nazi babies freaked me out too!"

"I think it was more when Arnold fucked up the part where you have to give Randy an abortion and he suctioned his balls." Helga corrected and laughed heartily when the boys all shivered and groaned in pain. "You should see your faces!"

"You're mean, Helga." Arnold whispered.

Helga shivered in surprise from hearing his voice so close to the same ear Zac has whispered in a few minutes earlier. "But not _too_ mean, right?"

Arnold and Helga snickered together and Helga forgot about Zac's offer. For now.

* * *

"What a rotten day!" Helga declared while throwing her apron in the washer.

"But you did it, Helga." Big Al complimented. "You didn't have to punch or kiss anyone today."

 _I can be your punching bag_.

"Yeah… that's something." Helga said, a forced smile on her face. "It's better when Arnold is here as a buffer though."

"I imagine." Big Al said, nudged his elbow against Helga's arm and laughed heartily. "Thank you for today, Helga."

"Thanks, Al. I'll see you tomorrow." Helga replied while putting on her coat. She waved Big Al goodbye and walked outside.

Helga took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm herself. It wasn't working very well. The whole day had been filled with rude customers who wanted special orders because they were special little snowflakes. Speaking of that, Helga wanted it to snow already so she could at least take her frustration out through a snowball fight. Zac's words filled her mind again, but she shook them off.

"Helga?"

Helga looked towards the voice and groaned.

"Wow, that's rude." Zac said, but laughed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm on my way to the mall." Zac explained and looked at the café. "So this is where you work… Bigal's café?"

"Big Al's café." Helga corrected. "It's a mistake on the window."

"Oh… You like it there?"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm talking to you."

"Well, don't." Helga sneered and walked past him. Zac grabbed her arm though and she instantly hit his hand. He pulled his hand back to himself and nursed it. "Stop touching me!"

"It's only when I touch you that your real self comes out, huh?"

"This isn't my _real self_!" Helga argued.

"You know what, Helga? Maybe it is." Zac said and put his hands in his pockets. "The whole fucking world will tell you that anyone can be a good person just because they try. They'll tell you that you can change just if you want to, but all you can really do is learn to pretend that you have changed. You can't change, Helga. No one can. All we do is bend and shape ourselves until people around us are satisfied and we can't even recognize ourselves."

Helga was in shock. To her, Zac hadn't seemed like the sharpest tool in the shed. Downright dumb even. What he just said sounded like something a psychologist would say. Helga couldn't be sure, but she had a feeling he had heard those words himself. There was more to him than what met the eye, but that didn't mean she had to like him.

"So now you're a pocket philosopher?" Helga asked sarcastically. Zac shook his head in disbelief. "I don't know what you want from me, Zac!"

"I want to help you." Zac insisted and looked towards a couple walking towards them. He got close enough to Helga to whisper. "And if I get something out of it too then so what?"

"So you admit it."

"I never tried to hide it." Zac stated and leaned away again once the couple had passed them. "Did you know that smokers who go cold turkey are more likely to go back to smoking than those who cut down on their cigarettes day by day?"

"What a load of—"

"Makes sense, doesn't it? In order to change your habits, it's definitely better to slowly get used to new ones. Seems healthier too."

"What are you, some kind of pusher?" Helga sneered and turned around. "I'm not interested."

"You're doing the same thing with kisses, you know."

"What?" Helga said and turned back around to scowl at Zac.

"You and Arnold kiss each other once a day, right? So you can get used to it."

"How do you know—"

"I overheard you two talking about it."

Helga thought about it for a moment and remembered her and Arnold having a brief discussion about their kissing agreement. It was a long time ago though, from way before she broke up with him. She sighed and looked at Zac. "For your information, that deal is over. We kiss more often than that now."

"Because you got used to it, right?" Zac said and smiled like he had just hit the jackpot. Helga didn't have anything to say to that. "See? Getting used to something does you wonders. This is the same thing. Slowly getting used to not being violent works better than just stopping and having to think about your addiction every day."

"I'm not _addicted_." Helga insisted. "I don't need to get small fixes like some kind of junkie."

Zac just smiled. "And yet you're itching to get your hands on me."

Helga looked down at her right hand which had curled into a fist. "Shut up." She hissed and turned around again.

When Helga didn't hear Zac call her name, she thought he would finally leave her alone. But suddenly, she was pulled to the side, into one of the small side streets. She barely got the time to process who it was before she saw a face getting uncomfortable close to her. She bit down harshly, heard a groan and then a yell when she punched whoever had tried to kiss her. She kept hitting and once the person was on the ground, she started kicking.

About 20 seconds lasted before Helga calmed down enough to lean back against the building behind her. Even though he was hiding his face, Helga recognized Zac's clothes. She was shivering from the adrenaline and realized to her horror that she still wanted to hurt him. His whimpers were like sweet music to her ears and she realized that she had just gotten her fix. With a new sense of power, Helga kneeled down to Zac's level. She took him by his hair and lifted him up so he could look at her. She looked him over, her eyes shining with hate and disgust.

"You aren't just a masochist… Even masochists wouldn't let someone abuse them this way."

"Was it good for you?" Zac asked smugly.

Helga shivered and threw his head away from her. "I feel guilty." She claimed and sat down next to him.

Zac laughed while he struggled to sit. "No, you don't… You're just saying that because you know that's how you're supposed to feel."

Helga didn't bother telling Zac he was wrong because he wasn't. Everything in her body was telling her how much he deserved it. How he had gotten on her nerves, how he had been such a pain in the ass and that he deserved every hit she had given him.

"I don't want to be like this."

"You think I do?" Zac argued and pulled a package of cigarettes out of his pocket. "An addiction like this should at least give me my own freaking parking place at the hospital."

Zac offered Helga a cigarette, but she instantly pushed his hand away, sending the package flying to the ground.

"You're not even holding back anymore, are you?" Zac said in amusement, picked up the cigarettes and lit one. He blew the smoke away from Helga and then looked at her. "Admit this made you feel better than going home and just boiling in your own anger for the rest of the night."

Helga didn't say a word. She didn't want to hear herself admit it, but she knew it was true. Every rotten thing that had happened today was completely forgotten. They seemed so meaningless now. Something still bothered her though.

"Why did you try to kiss me?"

"Because I knew it'd piss you off." Zac replied with hesitation. He looked at Helga. "What, did you expect a different answer?"

Helga was about shout, but he held up his hands.

"I'm kidding. I know Arnold has that privilege." Zac said and sucked from his cigarette again. "You know… I do think Arnold is good for you. It's good to have someone to hold you in the ears and try to help you get rid of your bad habits… but you also need someone who accepts you just the way you are."

"Arnold does accept me."

"Does he? He's trying to change you, isn't he?"

Helga shook her head. "He's not trying to change me… Trying to change me would mean to try and dress me up, make me stop writing or… I don't know, stuff like that. What he's doing now is helping me become something better, something I want to be. It's different."

"You sure you're the one who want to change?"

"Of course it is!"

"And for who?" Zac asked and Helga looked at him in confusion. "Who do you want to change for?"

Helga's lips turned into two thin lines. "Myself." She answered resolutely.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes. Arnold was the one who convinced me way back then, but… I'm doing this for me. I want to be able to handle rude-ass customers for a whole day without wanting to punch the living shit out of my classmate!"

"Fair point. It's not like you can carry me around for the rest of your life."

"As if I'd want to do that to begin with."

Zac laughed. "But my offer still stands." He said and got up from the ground. "It's not healthy to bottle it up. Until you figure out a better way to deal with your anger, I can be your punching bag."

Zac offered Helga his hand, but she just scowled at him. She slapped his hand away from her face and stood up on her own. She looked at Zac, at her new ally in crime so to speak. She gave him a small slap, just because she could and then walked away. To her disgust, but not her surprise, she slept better that night than she had in a long time.

* * *

"Is it just me or does Helga seem happier lately…?" Sid asked while leaning over the backrest of the crummy school seat. Gerald and Arnold turned to look at him.

"You know, I've been thinking that too, but I'd say she looks more relaxed than happy." Gerald commented and nudged Arnold's shoulder. "Kudos, Romeo."

Arnold gave a tense smile. "I don't think it's because of me."

"Who else would it be?" Harold asked after appearing from the seat in front of Arnold and Gerald.

"Who else would what be?" Helga's voice asked and the boys turned to look at her. The blonde girl quirked an eyebrow at them, waiting for an answer.

"Hey, Pataki!" Zac's voice interrupted like a bell saving the boys. He came jogging towards Helga with his palms directed towards her. "Come sit with me."

Without giving her a choice, Zac started pushing at her shoulders. She looked at him in absolutely annoyance, but let him lead her to the back of the bus. She sat down with her arms and legs crossed and ignored Zac when he sat down next to her.

"What the actual fuck?" Sid stuttered.

"What am I looking at?" Harold asked and blinked slowly.

"I'm considered." Stinky said while scratching his head. "Why isn't Helga sitting with us anymore?"

"Because something is seriously wrong here." Gerald replied and looked at Arnold. "What was that, a declaration of rivalry?"

Arnold shook his head. "I don't know… He's been showing up at work and he… he keeps provoking Helga. She looks really mad every time she sees him."

"Why the hell did she go and sit with him then?" Harold asked.

"Helga still doesn't know what to do…" Arnold explained. "Helga usually uses her fists to talk when she's angry, so now that she's stopped being violent she doesn't know how to say no."

"Oh, great…" Sid groaned.

"Have you asked Helga what the hell Zac is up to?" Gerald asked.

"She said she doesn't know…" Arnold explained, but the truth was that he had a feeling she just didn't want to tell him.

Gerald glared at Zac. "What's his game?"

Helga was thinking something similar, but she knew the answer. "I won't hit you again." She hissed at Zac and swatted his hand away from her shoulder.

"You said that the last couple of times too." Zac argued.

"Third time's the charm."

"Admit it; you feel better afterwards."

"Yes, but I'll never get better if I keep doing this."

"Arnold's idealism has rubbed off on you. No one gets better. You can't."

"Yes, you can." Helga insisted and thought of Olga's husband. "I know you can."

Zac looked Helga over. "Fine. Keep believing that. See how far it'll get you."

Helga sneered. "You really do have a talent for making people want to hit you."

Zac got up close and Helga instinctively clenched her fist. "Go ahead." He tempted, but she immediately moved to a different seat, leaving a chuckling Zac behind her.

* * *

"He's driving me insane!"

"What kind of insane?" Patty asked while she made notes on the exhibit they were looking at.

"What do you mean?" Helga asked.

"Well, Arnold drives you insane, but is it that kind of insane?" Phoebe specified.

"Hell no!" Helga reacted promptly. "Arnold's kind of insane is frustrating, but fun. Zac's kind of insane makes me want to hurl him down a volcano."

"Good. Just wanted to make sure." Patty whispered to herself.

"Make sure of what?"

"Nothing." Patty smirked and put her notebook away. "Look, Helga, unless you tell us what's wrong we can't help you."

Helga looked at Patty and Phoebe, both of them looking at her with worry. She sighed. "He's, um… Zac is kinda, um… He's my pusher."

Patty and Phoebe blinked in unison. "Your _what_?"

"Helga, are you doing drugs?" Phoebe whispered in shock.

"Of course not!" Helga hissed and looked around to make sure none of their classmates were nearby. "Zac is kinda letting me use him as a punching bag."

"A what?" Patty whispered.

"He lets me hit him…" Helga explained and realized once again how sick that sounded.

"Why would he do that?" Phoebe wondered.

Patty simply gave a stern look. "I had this weird feeling about him, but I couldn't put my finger on it." she said and shook her head. "I _was_ wondering why you seemed so calm lately! It's because you're taking your aggression out on him!"

Helga flinched slightly from Patty's harsh tone. "I don't know what to do."

"You need to _stop_!"

"I know! But he keeps pissing me off! He knows just what to say and do and—"

"Then stay away from him." Phoebe suggested.

"I've tried that! But he keeps bothering me! And I keep telling him to fuck off, but he just pushed all my buttons and whenever I look at him, I just want to plant my fist in his mouth until he stops breathing!"

Phoebe's eyes widened in fear. "Helga, that's… pretty grim."

Patty gave Helga's cheek a few pats. "You need to tell Arnold."

"What? No!" was Helga's natural reaction. "I—I can't do that! I feel so guilty—"

"Which is why you should tell him." Patty interrupted. "Look, just be honest with him. I think if you just admit to Arnold that you're having more trouble with this than he thinks, maybe it won't be so hard to actually stop doing it. You need his support, Helga. And he can't support you if he doesn't know you're struggling."

Helga scowled at the thought of needing anyone, even if that someone was Arnold. She knew Patty was right though. Arnold was brilliant at supporting people and keeping them motivated. Besides, dense as he was, even he must have noticed that she's been acting odd. He deserved an explanation and she needed him. So she turned around and headed straight towards him and his group.

"I didn't mean you should tell him right now—Oh, never mind." Patty said and smiled at Phoebe who smiled back.

Gerald was the first one in Arnold's group to notice Helga walking towards them. He nudged at Arnold and the blonde boy turned to see Helga coming towards them, an odd expression on her face. He turned away from the painting and waited for her to approach him. Someone else got in-between them though.

"Helga—"

"No, _not_ now." Helga said instinctively once she saw Zac's face appear next to her. She walked around him, but he grabbed her wrist and stopped her. "What the—"

"What are you doing?" Zac whispered.

Helga looked up and scrunched her nose. "Telling Arnold what's been going on."

Zac rolled his eyes. "Why?"

"Because—"

"Hey!" Arnold said behind Helga and she looked at him over her shoulder. "Helga, are you ok?"

"She's just fine—"

"He asked _me_!" Helga replied and whipped her arm out of Zac's grip. "You do _not_ get to speak for me!"

"Or what?" Zac asked and got closer to Helga, the same way he always did.

Arnold's eyes automatically went to Helga's fist, which was shaking with anger. "Helga—"

"I'm not hitting him. I'm not—" Helga insisted, but the words died in her throat.

"Go ahead." Arnold said resolutely.

Helga was too thrilled that she had gotten Arnold's permission to even consider being shocked. She whipped her arm back and punched Zac square in the face, resulting in him falling to the ground. Helga felt that same sense of satisfaction as she always did, but there was something else there; something she couldn't identity. She walked backwards until she felt Arnold's hand on her back.

A guard came to ask what was going on, but everyone in the room agreed nothing needed his attention. It was to Helga's luck that the only people in this particular room were people from her class and not other people visiting the museum. The guard looked suspicious, but when Zac simply stood up without disagreeing with his classmates, he decided to believe them and left. Before anything else could be said, Arnold took Helga's hand and pulled her away from the others. She followed him obediently for once, instead of complaining, and let him take her into one of the hallways.

"Why did you let me do that?" Helga asked before Arnold could ask his own questions.

Arnold blinked. "Because… in some situations it's ok to do that… if it's to protect yourself."

"He wasn't hurting me… not really, I mean." Helga corrected, but gave a smile. "Thank you for that though. I… really didn't know what to do."

"That's what I've been telling myself too." Arnold explained with a frown grazing over his features. "Helga, what's been going on between you two?"

"So you did notice…" Helga whispered and sighed. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I, um… Zac's kinda been… He's, uh—"

"Helga, if you…" Arnold interrupted and sighed anxiously. "If you don't want to tell me then you don't really have to."

"What?"

"I don't have the right to know what you do or who you hang out with… I'm just worried, that's all." Arnold said with a genuine smile on his face.

Helga felt an unfamiliar warmth inside herself and smiled back. "I know… but I want to tell you." She said and it was clear that while Arnold had meant what he said, he was relieved that she was going to tell him anyway. "I've been… using Zac as a punching bag. He offered himself as a way for me to… let me frustration out and… it's not like I've done it a lot or anything, but I have done it a few times."

Arnold wasn't sure how to react to that. "So… wait, then what was that just before?"

"Oh, he's been provoking me all the time to get me to hit him." Helga explained and Arnold quirked a confused eyebrow. "Don't ask."

"Ok, but… does that mean you've only ever hit him when he provoked you?"

"Well… yeah, but I don't get your point?"

Arnold rolled his eyes, a wide smile on his face. "Then you don't really need him, do you?" he asked and this time, it was Helga who quirked a confused eyebrow. "Look, did you ever go to him yourself?"

"No."

"Did you call him and ask him to let you hit him or anything like that?"

"No, but what—"

"He's been provoking you all this time to get a reaction out of you! Helga, not everyone in this world will annoy you as much as he has. If you just don't let people feed your anger then you won't feel the need to hurt anyone. Have you felt the need to hit anyone else besides Zac?"

"Not really, but he's been a real pain in my ass."

"See?" Arnold said and took Helga's hands in his own. "You don't need him for something like this. You've already changed a lot. He may have helped, I can't really say for sure, but… you don't need him, Helga. You really don't."

That swelling entered Helga's heart again and she leaned forward to press her lips against Arnold's before she could think about it. He flinched in surprise; Helga had kissed him before on her own, but it still sent his heart soaring out of his chest and back in again with a slam. He stayed still, as always afraid to scare her by kissing her back. They stayed like that for a moment before Helga leaned back and smiled at Arnold.

"Thank you… for always believing in me."

Arnold smirked. "Somebody has to."

"Jerk!" Helga said in shock and punched his shoulder. They laughed while walking back to their classmates who were looking in their direction before they even entered. "Wow, obvious much?"

Arnold chuckled awkwardly. "Well, they're worried about you."

" _Worried_." Helga repeated with a snort. "More like curious."

"She's right! We aren't worried." Sid insisted and then smirked. "Because we know it always works out between you two."

Arnold's cheeks turned into a solid color of red while Helga turned pale. They looked at each other, but didn't say or do anything besides that. When their classmates started laughing though, they slowly joined them.

"You know… maybe you should start doing kickboxing." Arnold suggested while they walked back to the others.

Helga hummed thoughtfully. "I'd be good at that."

"That's not why I suggested it."

"I know. Just stating a fact." Helga said playfully and looked towards Zac who was giving her a cold stare. "I can imagine he's the punching bag, right?"

"Be my guest." Arnold said and leaned closer to Helga to whisper. "Give it a few extra kicks from me."

Helga gasped artificially. "Arnold!" she said before laughing. "You know, Zac said you're rubbing off on me."

"Yeah?"

"But I think I'm rubbing off on you too."

"Oh, no…" Arnold said in despair and groaned theatrically.

Helga laughed happily at the display. She could still feel Arnold's breath on her neck and realized that the sense of goosebumps was there, the same way whenever Zac had gotten close to her. These were a good kind of goosebumps though. She almost liked them even. Maybe she was changing? And maybe it was even more and even faster than she realized.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Zac isn't over yet… but the worst of him is over xD So those of you who like him – that** _ **one**_ **person actually – won't get much more of him :P His purpose is over now xD**

 **How many of you realized that Zac had a different kind of interest in Helga than a romantic one? Because, and I'm just saying it to clarify it, he** _ **really**_ **doesn't like her romantically – he thinks she's really cool, but what caught his interest were her fists xD Zac and Zoe are part of this story to make obstacles for Arnold and Helga,** _ **not**_ **to give either of them other options besides each other xP**


	13. Tomato red

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After Zac found out Helga was growing frustrated and restless because she didn't get to use her fists, he offered to be her punching bag, which led to a series of events of Helga caving in and using Zac as a stress reliever. Arnold and the others noticed something was wrong though, but Arnold wanted to wait until Helga told him herself. She was about to when Zac once again did anything he could to provoke her. Without knowing what was going on, Arnold told Helga it was ok to hit him and she did.**_

 _ **Arnold convinced Helga that she still didn't need to get physical to get her frustrations out because not everyone was going to try and provoke her like Zac was. He also suggested she should start going to kickboxing and Helga agreed.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: One moment one or two people are complaining Arnold is a wimp and then they're complaining he is acting like Helga's dad… What do you want from him? To protect her or not? X'D**

 **Also, to guest reviewer calling themselves "Brian Johnson", I know several women, including myself, who'd rather have a boyfriend like Arnold than some macho man who just wants to "get us in the sack". Stupid teenage girls usually grow up and realize they want someone who treats them right and not someone who just wants to mount them. And referring to Arnold as the woman in the relationship, and implying that is a bad thing, shows me that you're one of those men. Keep belittling the sweet guys, buddy, one day you're gonna envy them.**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 13: "Tomato red"

"Find your center… find your inner peace… find your haven…" a calm and tranquil voice spoke while the sound of crickets filled the room along with the scent of lemon.

"I'd rather find the fucking door." Helga hissed under her breath while she stayed in the most uncomfortable position she had ever been in. "Remind me why I'm doing this?"

"Because," Patty whispered while she held the difficult position with more ease than her blonde friend. "while kickboxing is good for getting your aggressions out, yoga is good to help you keep calm."

"Oh, yeah! I feel real fucking calm with my ass sticking up like this!" Helga sneered and sat down in defiance. " _Downward facing dog_ is right, I've never felt more like a bitch. Also, why lemon?"

Patty sighed and sat up normally despite the yoga instructor giving them a bit of a look. "Lemon has a calming effect."

"There must be a better scent that does the same thing."

"Sure, but this one is the best one for anger management so _get in position_." Patty said warningly before getting back into position herself.

Helga groaned, but copied the yoga instructor again who smiled kindly at her. She smiled back, but scowled the moment the woman looked away. Helga had never felt more uncomfortable her whole life, but Patty had insisted that if Helga was going to do kickboxing, she should join her for yoga afterwards. Helga had just been at her first kickboxing lesson and it had felt so good, but now she felt angry again. Or at least frustrated. She kept looking at the clock and couldn't relax at all or find her center as the yoga instructor kept telling them to do.

 _This is total bullshit_.

After what felt like forever, the yoga instructor finally dismissed the class and Helga collapsed on the floor.

"How are you feeling?" Patty asked smugly.

"Dead… and I feel like I just discovered muscles inside me I didn't know existed."

"You feel like hitting anyone?"

"No, but I think that's because I'm too tired."

"Good enough." Patty said and pulled Helga up. "A few more lessons and you'll love it."

"I'm not doing that again." Helga declared, but she knew she didn't have a choice. Patty would shape her into the positions by force if she had to.

"Speaking of, uh, physical activity… how is it going with that?"

"What do you mean?" Helga asked while taking Patty's towel from her and wiping it across her neck.

"I mean, how is it going with Arnold?"

"Just fine." Helga answered in confusion. "I get more and more comfortable with him as time goes by."

"Good, but, um… what about the physical part?"

"Uh… I'm not following?"

"Wow, I thought Arnold was the dense one."

"Hey!"

"Helga! How much have you and Arnold done?" Patty asked bluntly once they had finally reached the changing room.

Helga felt her cheeks flare up and she looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Why the hell are you asking that?"

"Because isn't that your biggest problem? Are you even working on that?"

"Well—"

"That's a no then."

"We're getting there! I just… I mean, it just doesn't happen."

"What do you mean?" Patty asked in confusion and threw her towel into the locker.

"You make it sound like it happens all the time or that it's supposed to happen out of the blue, but it just… doesn't. Arnold and I are mostly the same as always, except for some kissing and, well, awkwardness sometimes."

Patty blinked and then snorted. "He's not trying anything?"

"Not really." Helga replied and looked at Patty who was struggling to keep her laughter down. "What?"

"The poor boy!" Patty declared and couldn't hold her laughter in any longer. "He must have the biggest blue balls by now!"

"He _what_?!" Helga asked in a mix of disgust and confusion.

"Helga, Helga, Helga. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be around the person you love 24/7 like Arnold is with you? And to not do anything about it _ever_?"

"No, I don't!" Helga replied in frustration and threw her t-shirt into the locker. "How the hell should I know?"

 _Ouch. Good thing Arnold didn't hear that,_ Patty thought. "Remember when I went on a two-week vacation with my parents last year?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"And when I came home, Harold just wanted to be alone with me, but all of you insisted on throwing me a party?"

Helga barely remembered the party. Except at the end of it when Harold seemed to lose his mind and throw them all out. Helga hadn't understood a thing, and it wasn't until now she figured out what the problem had been. It wasn't like she had asked anyone about it. She frowned.

"So, he threw us out because he wanted to—"

"Have sex with his girlfriend for the first time in two weeks, yes." Patty replied casually while slipping out of her shorts.

Helga shook her head as if she didn't understand, which wasn't completely wrong. Sex hadn't been something on her mind. Ever. To her, sex had always been this thing that boys wanted from a girl and nothing else. When the girls in her class started dating, she thought they had gone insane. Why subject themselves to someone who only wanted one thing from them? It took her years to accept that girls enjoyed sex too and dating someone didn't mean all you wanted from them was sex. There was one thing she still didn't understand though.

"Why is sex so great anyway?" Helga asked before she could stop herself.

Patty snorted in surprise. "What?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "I mean… it must be great, but I just don't get it. It seems like guys are obsessed with it and even some girls and I… I guess I just don't understand why it's so great?"

"You have never sounded cuter than you did just now." Patty cooed and Helga threw her bra at the taller girl who just laughed. She looked at the bra and put it up in front of her friend's breasts. "You know, I don't think this one fits you anymore."

"I know." Helga replied and took the bra back. "I've outgrown all of them. I just hate buying bras. Women who sell bras are always so pushy and touchy just because we're both women."

Patty laughed heartily, but got serious after that. "You really want to know? About sex I mean."

Helga shrugged and put the bra back in her locker.

Patty sighed as she thought about how to explain it. "Sex is great because… Or rather, sex is great when you're doing it with someone you like and trust. It's also pretty good if that person know what they're doing."

"Well, Arnold and I have the first two covered, but what about the last one?"

"Hey, when someone has been in love with someone as long as Arnold have with you then skills won't matter to him."

"And what about me?"

"Well, you're difficult like always." Patty said cheekily and Helga snorted at her. "Honestly, Helga, if you could get over your misandry, I think you'd be the kind of girl to love sex. Maybe even more than I do."

"What?!" Helga bellowed in shock while following Patty to the showers. "How so?"

"You'd _love_ to know you're in total control." Patty said and turned on the water. "Especially over someone like Arnold who'd probably kiss your feet if you asked him to."

Helga blushed at the image popping into the front of her mind. "Oh, come on."

"I'm serious. Hell, even with your misandry you'd love sex. Imagine it; Arnold doing whatever the hell you want?"

"I can already do that." Helga insisted with a smirk, but Patty shook her head.

"No, I mean to have him begging on his knees for you." She whispered and the drizzle from the shower drowned their voices from anyone else. "To have him totally at your mercy. Imagine that kind of power."

Helga felt a strange, unfamiliar feeling soar through her and she gulped. She turned her eyes away from Patty and continued her shower.

"Did I go too far?" Patty asked, but Helga just shrugged. Patty watched her friend, while she frantically washed her blonde hair, and smirked. _No, I took it just far enough_.

* * *

Once Patty and Helga had said goodbye, Helga felt an odd sense of both energy and exhaustion. She decided that wasn't normal so she took the long way home. She grunted at the feeling of her bra rubbing at a place it wasn't supposed to rub and she felt the instant urge to readjust it. Which she had counted she did about 20 times a day. She was audibly groaning when she noticed she had reached Hillwood mall. She thought about it for only a second before deciding that the continuous discomfort wasn't worth it and went inside. She hated the sales assistant in her favorite lingerie shop, but the shop always had so many different options so it was her preferred one. The shop was also quite big so it never felt too crowded and awkward.

"Helga, is that you?" a male, familiar voice called.

Helga turned towards the voice and smiled brightly. "Hi, Arnold!" she called and waved him over. He jogged towards her, gave her a quick kiss and smiled at her.

"How was kickboxing?"

"Kickboxing: great. Yoga: sucks."

"I heard yoga should be really good for you."

"Yeah, good for making you feel miserable." Helga retorted. "What are you doing here?"

"Doing some early Christmas shopping before the prices skyrocket." Arnold answered.

"Oh, always prepared for the jolly season, aren't you?"

"I have to be with such a big family."

"You trying to piss me off, Shortman?" Helga asked sarcastically.

"When am I not pissing you off?" Arnold argued.

Helga just stuck her tongue out and laughed with him. "I'm the lucky one, you know that, right? I just have to give mom, Olga, Phoebe, Patty and you. You have like three times as many people you have to find presents for."

"Are you also doing Christmas shopping?"

"No, I'm doing some p—personal shopping." Helga stuttered once she remembered what shop she had been headed towards before Arnold had seen her. _Criminy! He's gonna want to go together!_

"Well, want to walk around with me?"

 _Knew it!_ Helga thought and gave an awkward smile. "Well…" she said, but noticed the instantly disappointed expression in Arnold's eyes. She sighed. "M—My shopping isn't all that interesting, but I can go with you for yours."

"Uh, ok?" Arnold said, clearly happy she was going with him, but confused why she had hesitated.

Arnold wondered what kind of personal shopping Helga was going to do. Maybe she was shopping for his Christmas present? That could be it, but she usually wasn't very secretive about presents because she usually didn't care all that much. This year was different though, at least to him. He wondered if Helga was going to do something special for him this year too.

 _Probably not,_ Arnold decided, thinking he was being too romantic due to the holidays.

* * *

After about an hour of Helga following Arnold around, while joking around like they usually did, Arnold finally declared that he was finished. Helga had kept her eyes to herself and let him buy her present in peace. She hadn't even turned around to see what shop he had entered even though it had been difficult.

"So, where are we going next?" Arnold asked, hoping to finally convince Helga to let him go with her until she was done.

" _You're_ going home." Helga insisted. "I've still got business here."

"Oh, come on, Helga. Let me go with you. Why the secrecy? Are you buying my gift or—"

"No, I got yours ages ago." Helga replied automatically, cursing herself afterwards. Not only would that have been a brilliant excuse, she didn't want Arnold to know that she had been very prepared for Christmas this year. At least with his present, she still hadn't gotten anything for anyone else.

Arnold blushed slightly at the confession. "Then why can't I go with you?" he asked. "Are you ok?"

"What?"

"I mean… are you going to the pharmacy or something?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "Worrywart. No! I'm just, um…" she said and blushed herself. Arnold sighed and was going to tell her that he didn't want to seem pushy, but she spoke before he could. "Fine, but you're asking for it."

Arnold looked at Helga over his shoulder once she had passed him. He followed her as fast as he could despite the bags weighing him down and Helga practically jogging towards a shop. It wasn't until she stopped and turned to look at him, with her arms crossed, that he saw what shop they were at. He dropped his bags, and his jaw, while he stared at the frilly and lacy underwear in front of him.

"Oh…"

" _Oh_." Helga repeated mockingly. "Still want to be the good boyfriend and carry my bag?"

"I don't think anything you buy in there would be heavy." Arnold joked, but felt more awkward than he had his whole life. Nevertheless, he picked up the bags he had dropped and walked towards the shop.

"You're actually going in?"

"Am I allowed to?"

"You're with me so I think it's fine, but… really?"

"I mean… I get why you told me no, so if you still think that—"

"Hello, you two!" a young woman said energetically from inside the shop. "Are you coming in?"

"Uh, I—"

"This is your boyfriend, right? Don't worry, he can come in! Come on!" the woman interrupted and took Arnold's bags from him.

Arnold looked at Helga apologetically while she looked annoyed. That was the shop assistant she hated. Someone who was all hyper, eager and way too nosy. Someone who would get up close and personal. Someone who could make this whole thing even more awkward.

"Well, come, come!" the woman said and waved them inside. "What are you looking for today?"

"Some new bras." Helga said tensely and she could see Arnold closing his eyes in her peripheral vision. _Poor boy, this must be even worse for him than it is for me_.

"Oh, you have outgrown those you have?" the woman asked while pulling out a measuring tape from seemingly nowhere. "I need to take your measurements. Which size are you using right now?"

"36B." Helga answered and lifted her arms so she could measure her.

"Oh, yes, you've grown quite a bit then! You're a 36C now."

"I'm _what_?!" Helga bellowed and automatically threw her arms over her chest. "You must have made a mistake."

"Oh, but I haven't. See?" the woman said, showed Helga the number where her finger was.

"36C… that's the same as Olga." Helga muttered in horror. "I look like that doll more and more every day."

"You'll never look like Olga." Arnold comforted and pointed at a very frilly, white bra. "You'd have to wear that to look like her."

"How do you know what kind of bras my sister wears?" Helga asked with a smug smile and chuckled the moment the red blush spread on Arnold's cheeks.

"I was just—"

"Well, now, come on, Mr. Boyfriend! Let's find your lady some new bras!" the shop assistant said, took his hand and dragged him through the shop.

"What?!" Arnold bellowed and turned to look at Helga who looked just as horrified as he did.

"Um, shouldn't I be the one who—"

"No, no, you just stay over there! Your boyfriend and I will pick out a bra each and then we'll see which one you'll like better!" the sales assistant said eagerly. "It'll be a friendly little competition!"

 _Selling me a bra isn't a competition!_ Helga thought, but couldn't do anything but throw out her arms. _This is going to be interesting._

"Now then, we have some really popular bras over here. What kind does your girlfriend prefer?"

"I—I really don't know." Arnold stuttered. "I haven't—I mean we haven't—"

"Oh, it's a new relationship then?"

"I guess, I mean—"

"But you still know your girl, right?"

"Well… I should, we grew up together."

The woman cooed. "Then I have quite the challenge ahead of me. Would she like something like this?" she asked and held up a lime green frilly bra.

Arnold's face instantly scrunched. "Absolutely not. Frills isn't really Helga."

"Hm, that's one fact." The sales assistant said and hung it back.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I understand this, uh, game?"

"You tell me three things about what your girlfriend would or wouldn't wear. Then I go pick a bra based on that, and then you pick a bra you think she'd like as well. Ok?"

"Ok?" Arnold said unsurely.

The sales assistant asked a couple more questions before she declared it was time to pick out their bras. She went off to one section while Arnold stayed behind for a moment. When she was really gone though, he went back to where Helga was. As soon as she saw him, he heard the sales assistant's voice.

"You can't ask your girlfriend, that's cheating!"

"I wasn't going too—"

"Cheating!" the sales assistant warned and waited for him to step away from Helga.

"Just… do it, Arnold." Helga insisted. He looked at her in shock. "Trust me, this woman is pushy as hell."

"You don't say."

"So she'll never give up until we've done this so just get it over with. Choose whatever."

Arnold sighed and went back towards the bras. _I don't want to just choose whatever…_ He thought as he looked over the different kinds. _I don't want to lose to some weird sales assistant!_

To say that Arnold knew nothing about bras would be an understatement. It wasn't exactly useful knowledge to a guy after all. So all he could do was look at the different designs and pick the one he thought Helga would like. After a while, he forgot his embarrassment and his need to prove that he knew Helga better than anyone came to the surface. He found quite a few bras he thought Helga might like, but he knew he could only choose one so he spent a few minutes trying to figure out which one she'd like the best. He finally settled on a non-wired hot pink bra with what looked like black leaves sewn in on the cups, but leaving the upper part of the cups bare. It was Helga's favorite color with a bit of simple decoration; he had a good feeling about it.

"Finally picked a bra?" the sales assistant asked and looked at Arnold's choice. "Oh, a charming choice! I'm sure she'll love it!"

The sales assistant grabbed the bra from Arnold and walked back towards Helga. Arnold followed her, watching while she showed Helga the bras and asked her to choose her favorite. The bra the sales assistant had chosen was a light yellow push-up bra with some lace on it and a flower pattern in multiple colors. One look at it and Arnold knew that it wasn't going to be something Helga would like. He even wondered if she had remembered the things he had told her about Helga.

"That one, definitely." Helga said and pointed to Arnold's bra. He almost did a victory pose, but composed himself.

"Well, you win our little competition, Mr. Boyfriend." The sales assistant said before she walked towards the dressing rooms. Helga and Arnold followed.

"You chose that bra?"

"I wouldn't have picked that yellow thing for you!" Arnold insisted, almost insulted that she was surprised.

"Well, no, I know that, but the bra you chose was… I don't know, pretty close to something I would have picked." Helga said with an impressed smile.

"Yeah?" Arnold inquired proudly. "Well, I've known you since forever so…"

"Still, it's not like you've ever seen me in a bra."

Arnold almost corrected Helga, but kept the memory to himself. About a year ago, Helga had gotten drunk at one of his parties and he had put her in his bed so she could sleep there till the next morning. It had been summer though and Helga had declared it was too hot under his duvet so she had thrown it off and then proceeded to take off her top. It had taken all of Arnold's control to walk away, especially after seeing the dark purple bra she had worn. He could still see the black lace and the little black bow in the middle of the cups. That thing had haunted his dreams for a good week. Damn hormones.

"Now, you go and try it on and I'll wait out here in case you need help." The sales assistant said before pushing the couple into a dressing room.

Helga stared at Arnold, holding the bra the woman had just shoved into her embrace before pushing them. "Is she expecting you to be in here while I undress?"

Arnold immediately went towards the curtain to walk outside, but the sales assistant told him it was a good opportunity. She nudged her elbow at him, winked and pushed him back inside. Arnold officially hated her. She had been nosy and annoying so far, but this was taking it a step too far! He should have pretended to be Helga's brother, that would have made everything easier. She wouldn't have pushed him in there with Helga if she thought they were related.

"She won't let me out." Arnold said dumbly.

"I heard. Good opportunity, huh?" Helga repeated and made a face of absolute disbelief. She looked at herself in the mirror, holding a bra in her hands while Arnold was standing there awkwardly, unsure what to do. "Just… sit on the chair."

Arnold blushed bright red again. The awkwardness that had left came back with full force. He didn't have it in him to argue against her so he sat down and closed his eyes. Helga didn't have to tell him to do that last part. He had noticed something though before he sat down.

"Why is there champagne glasses in here?"

"Oh, um…" Helga muttered while she pulled the t-shirt off her body, trying to forget someone was right in front of her. "It's just this customer service thing. I mean, some girls come in here and spent hours trying on a million different bras so… I guess they try to get them drunk so they'll buy more."

"Oh, would you two like some champagne?" the sales assistant asked from outside the curtain. "I'm sorry, I completely forgot to ask!"

"Yes!" both blondes answered immediately. Arnold couldn't help but open his eyes in surprise. Helga had been about to laugh until his eyes opened. He closed his eyes again, apologized, and started hating himself. Helga had been wearing that same purple bra from a year ago. He'd recognize that thing anywhere.

Helga finished switching the bras and looked herself over in the mirror. She liked it; she _really_ liked it. Arnold had made a smart choice. She was about to tell him she was done until she saw him. He was just sitting there, dutifully like a little child, his cheeks flushed and his eyes closed. _Cute_ , Helga thought and glared at herself in shock in the mirror. _Cute? Since when did Arnold turn cute? Well, I guess he's always been sort of cute, but… No, wait, what the hell?_

Helga's new confusing thoughts didn't get much time to bloom before the sales assistant came into the dressing room. "Oh, you've finished changing! Well, what do you think, Mr. Boyfriend?" she asked while pouring champagne into the two glasses.

Arnold opened his eyes just slightly, enough to see if Helga was shaking her hands to stop him. She wasn't so he dared to open his eyes completely before they popped up wider than they ever had before. To say that he had made the right choice was an understatement; the bra didn't just suit Helga, it seemed to do everything right. Then again, he was seeing his girlfriend half-naked for the first time so she could probably have worn the color mess the sales assistant had chosen and he'd still feel just as overwhelmed.

"It suits her, right?" the sales assistant asked before she gave the blondes a glass of champagne each.

Arnold and Helga looked at each other, one more embarrassed than the other. "Um… y—yes, it r—really does, H—Helga." The boy stuttered.

"Thank you." Helga said as calmly as she could. After a second of awkward silence, they both chugged down their champagne and handed the sales assistant their glasses.

"It definitely does!" the sales assistant said and poured champagne into the two glasses again.

"I took some more bras that are similar to the one you're wearing so you can leave with more than just one. You need to get a bunch of new ones so you can get rid of the ones that don't fit you anymore."

"Uh-huh." Helga mumbled, gave a chuckle and chugged the glass down again. Arnold looked at her in surprise; he assumed she didn't want to stay in there any longer than necessary. Helga noticed his look. "Hey, it can't get more awkward than this anyway, right? And she's right; I can't own just one bra."

Arnold shrugged and chugged down his glass as well. _Why did I have to be so nosy? Then again, what am I complaining about?_ He thought and closed his eyes when Helga signaled for him to.

About a half hour later, Helga had finally tried on the many, many bras the sales assistant had insisted she tried on. She chose a few that she actually liked and told the sales assistant that she was done for the day, but she had other plans. She told her to please wait for her to go and get something special for Mr. Boyfriend as she had named Arnold. Both blondes had a bad feeling about that, but they didn't leave the dressing room.

"Ok, for this one, I think Mr. Boyfriend should come out here with me and wait. Just to make the surprise more special."

Arnold looked at Helga questioningly, but she simply shrugged so he left her with the sales assistant. He overheard them talking and Helga was clearly embarrassed about whatever the sales assistant was suggesting. He heard her say something about how she had never worn one before and had never planned to, but the sales assistant insisted it would suit her figure. It wasn't until she told Helga that Arnold's jaw would drop to the floor if he saw her in this that Helga caved in and decided to try it to both her and Arnold's confusion.

The sales assistant waited outside with Arnold while Helga changed. When she finally said she was done, the sales assistant pushed at Arnold's back and told him to take a look. Arnold felt like he was about to enter the twilight zone when he grabbed the curtain. He stated that it was him before he opened the curtain slightly and looked at Helga through the mirror. His jaw almost did drop to the floor; only his anatomy kept it in place.

Helga was dressed in a baby pink negligee, with black lace on the inner half of the cups and as a belt under the chest. The fabric turned see-through after the belt and went down just beneath her hips. A pair of matching panties covered her indecency along with her hands. Arnold wanted to ogle and yet he didn't. Helga looked as uncomfortable as she felt and despite how totally and utterly gorgeous she looked, her discomfort made him antsy.

Helga wasn't sure why she had agreed to it. Something about what the assistant had said about Arnold's reaction had triggered a reaction in her. She wanted to see his face when he saw her in this. She loved the faces he'd made while she tried on bras, she could only imagine his reaction if he saw her in an actual negligee. She didn't open her eyes to look at him through the mirror until about five seconds after he had entered. He had been so quiet that she almost thought he wasn't actually there, but the expression she was met with made her bug-eyed.

Arnold's expression was one of absolute adoration mixed with total embarrassment. He was awestruck and that was not an expression Helga had ever seen before, on Arnold or any other guy. It made her feel powerful somehow. Like she could probably make him do whatever she wanted. She felt like a queen. And something told her that was what Patty had talked about.

"Well, is it a buy?" the sales assistant asked outside the dressing room.

Arnold and Helga kept eye contact in the mirror. "Buy." They said in unison without any emotions on their faces.

Once Helga had gotten dressed and purchased the bras and negligee, she and Arnold practically ran outside to get away from the sales assistant before she decided to put Arnold in a pair of panties. They ran for a while, at some point grabbing each other's hand, and didn't stop until they were safely out of the mall. A fit of laughter overcame them and they doubled over, clutching their stomachs. They weren't sure why they were laughing as hard as they were, but they couldn't, for the life of them, stop.

About a full minute later, they finally calmed down. "I can't…" Helga panted. "I can't _believe_ that just happened!"

"M—Me neither! Are they all like that?"

"A lot of them are, but she's the worst I've ever met!"

"I hope so!" Arnold agreed and finished laughing. "That was… interesting."

"I bet." Helga joked, but coughed awkwardly right after. "I mean… you're not gonna see me in that thing anytime soon. Just so you know, I mean… today has taught me something about myself, but I still need a little more time."

Arnold wanted to ask what she had learned, but kept his nosiness to himself; they'd both had enough of nosiness for the rest of the year. "For what it's worth, Helga, I think I need some time too."

"Yeah?"

"I mean… I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember, but you're also my friend. All of this is still pretty new. We're in no hurry."

"Good because I wasn't going to rush." Helga replied with a smile. "You should have seen yourself though; your face was tomato red!"

Arnold pressed his eyes closed and scratched his head. "Do you blame me?"

"Not really. I probably looked the same."

"You looked like you were enjoying it."

"I what?"

"I mean, you had the same smile on whenever you've made a good prank or something." Arnold explained. "You didn't realize?"

Helga shook her head. "But that proves what I thought."

"What did you think?"

"Nothing important." Helga said with a smile. "Want to go and get something to eat before we go home?"

Arnold gave a wide smile. "Sure." He said and followed Helga. He was still curious about all of this and why Helga had seemed almost, kind of, not really ok with it all. And what all this meant for their future.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: For those of you who follow my tumblr, you may or may not know that I have tried yoga a few times in my life during this fall and have hated every moment of it. I think it's mostly due to the yoga instructor, so I got to take some frustration out in this chapter xD**

 **This whole scene of Arnold joining Helga's bra shopping is semi-inspired by what happened to me and my friend Olive recently. I needed knew bras because I had outgrown mine and the sales assistant was a little more "helpful" than we had foreseen. So she gave me bra upon bra after putting Olive into the dressing room with me. It wasn't incredibly awkward because, hey, both girls and been friends for 6 years so… x'D but it felt weird to have that sales assistant be all over me like that x'D**


	14. I feel different

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After starting kickboxing, Patty insisted that Helga should join her for yoga as well. After their first session, which Helga despised, Patty asked Helga the big question: how did she feel about Arnold physically? Helga admitted to have never thought about it and since Arnold never pressured her, she hadn't had the chance to consider it. Patty sparked some curiosity in her though when she told Helga that Arnold would be the kind of guy to worship her.**_

 _ **On her way home, Helga decided to hit the mall to get some new bras, but she bumped into Arnold who insisted on joining her before knowing what she was going to shop for. Their trip to the lingerie shop turned out to be very educational for the both of them. Arnold learning that while he definitely desired Helga, he was still too shy to act upon it, and Helga learning that Arnold's expressions made her feel things she didn't know she could feel.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I'm so glad I got to update this story before Christmas and the new year… I feel mentally exhausted, I really need to lessen my editing load because I have less time for writing when I decide to participate in a lot of projects. I can't help it though, I love editing so, so much. But I also love writing and I don't want to neglect either D'x**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 14: "I feel different"

It was like that dream where you kept running and running, but weren't going anywhere. Where you were being chased by some shadow or a monster you couldn't figure out what was. That feeling of fighting for your life, but it was useless. That's what this felt like. Helga's arms kept flailing around in the water, struggling to get her head above water. She could feel her lungs beg her to breathe, but if she did so, she'd swallow the water that was trying to kill her. She was screaming inside, pleading that someone would see her. She didn't know where she was, just that she was under water.

Finally, Helga could breathe. She inhaled with a scream and opened her eyes. She was met with the sight of her bedroom ceiling and the sound of her parrot squealing worriedly.

"Shut up, Shorty." Helga panted and sat up. She kept breathing even though she knew she had been breathing just fine and everything had just been a nightmare. She could still feel her lungs burning. "Shit… this is the third time."

"Third time! Third time!" Shorty repeated in its squeaky voice.

"Thanks for the reminder, pipsqueak." Helga said and opened the cage. The small parrot jumped onto her hand and let her place him on her lap. She started petting his head and he made a satisfied sound. "I need to find out what this means, Shorty."

Helga grabbed her phone from her night desk, never letting go of the parrot, and started typing. She searched _dreams of drowning_ and the first link she saw said that many people had asked the same question. That made her a bit relieved, until she started reading what the article said.

" _Because of the water, drowning depicts fear of being overwhelmed by difficult emotions or anxieties. But this might apply not to dangerous emotions or urges, but to natural urges such as eating, loving or sex_ —" Helga stopped reading. "—I'm done."

Helga let herself fall backwards onto her bed and Shorty jumped onto her chest happily. It kept bouncing around as if it had a song stuck on its brain.

"As always, you're useless."

* * *

"Did you sleep well, sweety?"

"Sort of." Helga lied. After reading what her dreams of drowning meant, it made her even more confused than before. It didn't help that she was going to spend the whole day with Arnold on a date he had planned. She looked to her left at her sister Olga. "When's Robert coming home?"

"Next week or so. Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair soon." Olga answered with her usual chipper smile.

"That wasn't why…" Helga insisted. "How's it going with him anyway?"

"Oh, just wonderful, baby sister! He thinks he might get a promotion actually and—"

"No, Olga. I meant how is it _going_ with him." Helga repeated, trying to stretch her words to help her sister understand.

Olga's chipper smile turned into a more serious one. "It's going very well, Helga. He hasn't laid a hand on me since then actually." She said proudly and smiled secretly. "Well, except for in the good way."

"That's good." Helga stated, ignoring her sister's side comment.

Olga and Miriam looked at each other in shock and then back at Helga. "Are you sure you have slept well, Helga?" Miriam asked worriedly.

The blonde teenager looked up in surprise. "Sure, why?"

"Well, usually, baby sister, you don't like me making those kind of comments." Olga pointed out.

"What comments?"

"About Robert's and my love life."

Helga looked at her family in annoyance. "I've just gotten older." She insisted, but even she knew what they were talking about. Her usual reaction to Olga making sex the subject, even as vaguely as she did, was to scrunch her nose in disgust and react like a 10-year-old child. This time, she had barely reacted. That just confirmed her dreams more, but she didn't know in what way.

"Helga, is there something you aren't telling us?" Olga asked with a bright, curious smile.

Helga looked up at their questioning looks; Olga looking much more curious than her mom who was more reserved and respectful of her daughter's privacy. "No, nothing…" Helga insisted even while thinking of Arnold. "I'm done. Thank you for breakfast."

"Baby sister!" Olga called even though Helga had already left the table and was running out in the hallway. She looked back to her mom. "Mother, she really is different, isn't she?"

"You know, I have been thinking the same thing, but… she hasn't told me what has changed." Miriam answered and recognized the look in her older daughter's eyes. "And we're not going to push her into telling us anything, understand?"

"But, mother—"

"Olga." Miriam said firmly. Olga pouted, but let Helga leave out the front door without another word. Miriam smiled at her daughter and continued eating.

* * *

Helga headed towards the arcade where she knew her male classmates would be for an early Saturday morning game. Arnold had told her to meet him there when she was ready to go without giving her a specific time of the day. She knew when they usually met up though and made sure not to get there too early so they could have their fun before she'd steal Arnold away for the day. She wondered when she started caring what the boys thought of her.

Helga found the boys in the arcade quickly and overheard a conversation between them. She wasn't sure how they had gotten onto that subject, but Sid, Stinky and Harold seemed to be teasing Arnold for his height. Unlike the other boys, he hadn't grown much taller than the girls in class. Except for Phoebe, he was about the same height as the girls. Not that the other boys were way taller than him in comparison, but next to Helga, he was about the same height.

It was playful teasing rather than bullying, but Helga could feel her anger rise anyway. She never understood why it was such a big deal. Arnold knew karate and was good at sports, what did a few inches mean? With a smirk on her face and an idea in her head, she went towards the boys.

"I mean, I know you're not short or anything, but still! How you can even play basketball is a shock!" Sid said and laughed with Stinky and Harold.

"Other things are easier though." Helga pointed out. Arnold turned around, surprised to hear her voice and even more surprised to receive a kiss on his lips in front of the boys. "Kissing for example."

Arnold had a very hard time wiping the smile off his face. Before, he had been wearing a frown. His height usually didn't bother him, but Sid usually knew how to push his buttons. He knew he didn't mean to hurt him and was only joking around, but when you were dating a girl who was in general pretty strong and masculine, you looked even weaker next to her. It may not have bothered him if he had fallen in love with someone like Lila; anyone looked masculine next to her, but he had fallen for Helga's independent and headstrong nature. It was what he loved so other boys thinking he looked silly next to her was a small price to pay to be next to her.

"You ready to go?" Helga asked, still wearing that knee-buckling smirk of hers.

"Yeah." Arnold said a little breathlessly. He felt Gerald nudge his elbow at him playfully and he grinned at the boys before following Helga through the arcade. Before they reached the exit, he saw Zac coming towards them. He had left them to go and buy something to drink. "Use your words, Helga."

"I know." Helga said with a smile when Zac was about to say something. "Fuck off, Zac."

Arnold turned around to look at Zac who simply laughed while continuing towards the boys. "That's not what I meant." Arnold pointed out, but couldn't help but chuckle at Helga's indifferent attitude.

Helga smirked. "I know."

* * *

"Shit, what the hell are all these people doing here so freaking early?" Helga hissed, trying not to step on someone's foot.

"I guess everyone is going the same place we are."

"And where is that anyway? It better be worth it!"

"Oh, just a Ronnie Matthew concert." Arnold said proudly. He himself wasn't a huge fan of him, but he knew Helga had become one since hitting puberty.

Ronnie Matthews had been the preteen hit for years before he made a huge change in attitude. From being just a pretty face plastered on the singles to attract girls, he started caring about his music. He started writing and actually singing himself and so, his old fans left and new fans appeared. While some said his music now appealed more to emo teenagers than party teenagers, it didn't matter to the new fans like Helga who knew that his music was simply much too honest for the world to handle. That's what Helga said anyway.

"Really?!" Helga asked and tried to turn around in her excitement, but ended up stepping over her own foot.

Arnold quickly caught her and helped her lean her back against his chest. "Yes, really. We need to stand in line to get good seats though—"

"I don't care! It's Ronnie Matthews! How the hell did you even score tickets to his concert?"

"I have my ways." Arnold said smugly.

"Ok, never do that again." The girl said with a grin. "But I'll accept it this time because we're going to see Ronnie Matthews!"

Arnold couldn't help but feel very proud of himself. He knew Helga loved Ronnie Matthews so he knew fighting to get those tickets would be worth it. That smile on her face was priceless.

Once they stopped at the next station, even more people entered the train. Helga groaned as she tried making room for them, but ended up stepping on Arnold's foot in the process. She was about to apologize, even though he had made no sound at all, but then almost tripped. Arnold managed to catch her again by putting his arm around her stomach and hoisting her back up, leaving her even closer to him than before.

"Uh, Arnold… this is a little too close for comfort." Helga insisted when all she could feel on her back was Arnold's sweater since they had opened their coats after stepping inside the train.

"I—I know, but we'll get off in 10 minutes." Arnold said and kept holding onto Helga to make sure she didn't fall. Besides, he couldn't move his arm anymore without hitting his elbow in someone's back.

Helga didn't say anything, but she clearly wasn't happy. She could feel Arnold's breath on her neck and it tickled so much that it sent shivers down her spine. His arm, which was only there to help her stand straight, held her tightly around her stomach and it was like all her nerve endings had moved there; his breath and his arm were all she could feel. Until she noticed that their left hands were barely grazing each other as well. They were both hanging loosely down their sides, but Helga felt tense knowing he was right behind her.

"Helga, did you sleep badly?"

"Huh?" Helga said in surprise and turned her neck to look at Arnold as much as she could. She instantly regretted it; it just reminded her how close he was. "Oh, y—yeah. I haven't slept well the last couple of days… how did you know?"

"You keep turning your neck." Arnold said and demonstrated. "Like it's sore, you know? I thought maybe it was because you slept badly."

"How oddly observant of you." Helga said suspiciously, but she knew that while Arnold was dense, he was very attentive when it came to her. Somehow the reminder made her cheeks warm.

"You can lean your head back if you want to." Arnold suggested.

 _Lean my head back?_ Helga thought and imagined feeling his shoulder at the back of her neck. "Um, it's ok…" Helga insisted, but she instantly got the urge to crank her neck.

"Helga, we're still gonna be here for a little while. You might as well try to be comfortable."

 _Comfortable?!_ Helga thought in incredulity, but caved in and leaned her head back to rest it on Arnold's shoulder. She almost wanted to sigh from feeling her neck relax, but while her body was relaxed, nothing else was. Her heartbeat was hurting her chest, her head was spinning and she could swear she could feel her fingers prickling.

The train started screeching as it did a turn and the floor became unsteady for a moment. While the moment was short, it was long enough to make Helga instinctively grab Arnold's hands and he grabbed hers as well. She cursed her own name and wondered why this had been her first instinct. She wanted to get out of the train already and make her heartbeat normal again. She still kept holding his hand though.

"W—Why are you sleeping badly?"

"What?" Helga whispered and shook her head, trying to get outside her own head again. "Oh, um… nightmares."

"About your dad?"

 _Overwhelmed by difficult emotions._

"I don't remember." Helga lied. "I just… wake up scared and confused… but I don't remember what I'm dreaming."

"I hope it'll pass soon." Arnold said worriedly and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Helga sighed, almost content with feeling his hand on hers. "Me too." she answered and squeezed back.

Right after, Arnold and Helga reached their station. Arnold held onto Helga's hand tightly while struggling to get through the hoard of people. Once they were outside, they both breathed a sigh of relief. The cold air soon hit them though and they closed their coats.

"Helga?" Arnold said and she hummed to tell him she was listening. "Did I make you feel uncomfortable?"

"What?" Helga asked in surprise. She really thought he hadn't noticed.

"I mean, you know I just wanted to make sure you didn't trip, right?"

"I know."

"But… I liked holding you like that." Arnold admitted. Helga gave him a look he couldn't quite describe, but it made him wonder if he should have kept his mouth shut. He decided he might as well continue to be blunt though. "Does that disgust you?"

Helga looked away and wrapped her arms around herself. "I can still fell your arms around me… and that makes me embarrassed." She admitted and walked past Arnold. "I don't think it's disgust."

Arnold turned around to look at Helga, but he felt frozen to the ground. That confession may have been small, but it was big coming from Helga. She turned around to look at him, a pretty neural expression on her face. She then held out her hand for him.

"I forgot my gloves." Helga said and Arnold knew what she was asking, but he got a different idea. He took off his left glove and handed it to her. She looked at it in confusion, but put it on anyway. "How is this gonna help? We'll just both be half-cold now."

"No." Arnold corrected and grabbed Helga's bare hand. "But you're gonna have to keep holding my hand."

Helga stared at their tangled hands for a moment before she glared at Arnold in shock. "Since when did you get so—"

"So what?"

"I don't even know! Whatever to call this!" Helga said in embarrassment, but didn't try to pull her hand out of Arnold's. And not because she'd be cold if she did.

* * *

"That was awesome!"

"You've said that quite a few times already."

"Well, it was that awesome!" Helga insisted with a wide grin on her face. "And thank god the train wasn't as packed on our way home."

"Uh-huh." Arnold said comically disappointed. Helga swatted her free hand on his shoulder and he laughed. "I'm glad you had fun, Helga."

"You did too, right?"

"Of course. I always have fun with you."

Helga rolled her eyes. "I think I prefer the shy Arnold who keeps his thoughts to himself." She said, but a loving smile stayed on her face. "What's made you so bold lately?"

"I guess I'm just getting more comfortable around you?"

"Shouldn't it be me?"

"You're getting more comfortable with me too, Helga." Arnold said and wiggled their tangled hands as proof. "You just show it differently."

"Things really have changed." The girl admitted as she remembered her dreams of drowning.

Helga couldn't help but wonder if her dreams were warning her… or if they were merely telling her that she was indeed changing. New feelings. What new feelings? It couldn't be just because she was getting more comfortable around Arnold, could it? It had to be more than that, but what more? Helga had never been good at recognizing her own feelings unless they were a kind of anger. She didn't know if she felt any different about Arnold now or if she was just getting used to being with him like this.

Helga made the cutest squeak Arnold had ever heard and he looked at her in surprise. "What was that?"

"Something tickled my nose." The blonde answered and scratched her nose. She looked up into the sky and was immediately met with something wet to her forehead. "It's raining!"

Arnold looked up and the sky was indeed very dark, but he hadn't thought much of it since they were getting close to winter. Suddenly, without warning, rain started drizzling down. It went from a small drizzle to practically a rainstorm within seconds and the blondes started running down the street.

"Where are we gonna go?" Helga asked, trying not to slip on the already wet ground.

"Mighty Pete is right over there!" Arnold answered and pushed Helga in front of him once they had reached the old treehouse. "Hurry!"

"I am!" Helga said, laughing from the adrenaline. She crawled up the ladder and opened the home-made door into the treehouse. She went inside and looked around in awe. "Wow, the next generation really upgraded this place!"

Arnold crawled inside and looked around. "Wow, it's actually warm in here." He said and noticed that Helga was taking off her coat. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, wet clothes off?" Helga replied in confusion. She didn't understand why he had asked so oddly before he took off his coat as well. She looked away, trying to seem casual even though she felt like she was drowning. She crawled over to the window and looked outside. "Wow, this is ridiculous… it should snow instead."

"It's not cold enough yet." Arnold replied and crawled next to Helga. "But this really sucks. I guess we're stuck here."

"I'm not running through that, that's for sure!" Helga laughed and looked at the sky. "You can really see the stars from here though."

Arnold laughed when a particular line entered his head. He knew he had to say it when Helga looked at him funny. "The only stars I want to look at are the ones in your eyes." He said, barely holding his laughter in.

"Criminy, what kind of cheesy rom-com line is that?!" the shocked blonde asked in disgust, but started laughing right after. Her stomach almost started hurting because of it so she went a couple of steps back and flopped onto the bean bag. When she opened her eyes, Arnold was hovering above her and she went completely still. There was something in his eyes she hadn't seen before, but he disappeared from her sight and lied down next to her on the bean bag. "You were thinking something."

"People usually do." Arnold dismissed, but he knew that Helga had probably seen right through him.

It was true when he told her that he was still getting used to being with her like this, but he had years advantage on her. He had been in love with her for as long as he could remember and once he hit puberty that innocent love turned passionate. He loved being close to her, he loved touching her and feeling her lips on his. He couldn't help but be curious how everything else would feel. He knew Helga had never gone through that part of puberty though so he didn't blame her for not understanding, and he didn't try to pressure her. She had never felt sexual desires before, not to his knowledge at least. Then again, why would she tell him if she had, best friend or not?

"Arnold!"

Arnold jolted in shock and turned to look at Helga only to see her much closer to him than before. _Too_ close.

"Don't ignore me. If something's wrong you have to tell me."

"Nothing's wrong." Arnold insisted and turned his head away. "You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"Excuse me? You're the one who is being weird! Well, weirder than usual."

"Helga, it's really nothing."

"Tell me already!"

"Drop it!"

"I won't!"

Arnold groaned and finally looked at Helga. "You really wanna know?" he asked in annoyance. Helga typically didn't know when to quit; just like him, so it was easy for them to push each other's buttons. Right now, he felt right on edge, but he didn't know on what.

Something told Helga she had pushed a button in Arnold. She had done that before, many times even, but something told her this was a different button. Ignoring the red-blinking warning sign in her brain, she nodded stubbornly, which made Arnold sneer in annoyance. Why did she always have to do this? He put his hand on the back of her neck and saw a glimmer of surprise in her eyes before he yanked her into a kiss. She gasped for a second and her hand landed on his chest to steady herself, but she didn't pull away.

Arnold felt so intoxicated the moment Helga's mouth met his, he had to wonder if her lips were made of wine. He opened his eyes slightly just to gawk her reaction as much as he could. When he saw that her eyes were closed rather than wide open or clamped together, he let his hand travel into the nape of her neck and pulls lightly on her hair. The action caused Helga to make a small, almost inaudible whimper and it was the sweetest sound Arnold had ever heard.

The blonde boy wrapped his arm around his girlfriend's waist and pulled her as close to him as he could. Being lost in desire, he opened his mouth slightly. He let his tongue touch Helga's upper lip, almost as if knocking on a door and asking her to let him in. The hesitation was clear, but she opened her mouth slightly. Both blondes shivered once their tongues touched, but only one of them wanted to pull away.

Stubborn as she was, Helga stayed put beside Arnold, even though she could feel every cell in her body screaming. The feeling wasn't just alien, it was downright weird. It didn't feel at all like she had imagined, but she wasn't sure if that was a bad thing or not. What she was feeling though, while their tongues were touching, was the shivers down her spine and her struggling to breathe through her nose. Arnold's hand came up to hold hers and she calmed down as he ended the kiss.

"That was what I was thinking about."

Helga blinked, huffed and smacked Arnold's chest. "You could have told me without making a point." She said and lied down next to him.

"Did I scare you?"

"No, that's not the word I'd use… I just get really nervous about it, it's not that I don't want to." Helga confessed and that alone should earn her a girl scout badge in her opinion. "And I guess I just feel a little alone in feeling that."

"You're kidding? I'm always nervous around you."

" _You_ 're kidding? You feel exactly the same as always."

"I've always felt nervous around you, Helga. Only got worse as we got older. Even now I can still feel my pulse in my throat." Arnold said jokingly. Helga moved her fingers towards Arnold's throat and pressed him into his flesh to feel it. That alone made his pulse go even faster.

"You weren't kidding." Helga stated monotonously and lied back down on the bean bag. She stared at the ceiling, considering her new discovery. "You were pretty good at hiding it. I mean, until you blabbered that night."

Helga chuckled and that made Arnold laugh as well. "It was probably bound to happen at some point… You're, uh… hard to resist." He said with flushed cheeks.

Helga snorted in shock and stared at him. " _Me_?"

"I already gave you my reasons for why you're amazing." The boy insisted and turned to lie on his side so he could see Helga properly. "I'm in love with you, Helga, that's why I think you're absolutely amazing and why I want to kiss you and touch you… but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy as we are right now. I like just lying next to you too and chat. Heck, even you touching my throat just before made me happy."

"Something that small?" Helga questioned and Arnold nodded.

The blonde wasn't sure why, but that information stirred something inside of her. It was something she had felt before, on that day when Arnold had joined her bra shopping. Especially when he saw her in the negligee. It was the thought of seeing him look at her like that again that made her buy it in the first place. This particular look in his eyes wasn't quite the same, but the adoration was there and it sparked something in her. Something that made her want him to look at her like that forever. Something that made her want to tease him. Something that made him look irresistible to her.

 _What the hell is this feeling?_ Helga thought while moving her hand to his cheek to caress it. He looked at her in surprise, which almost made him look like an innocent child. _No, seriously. What is this?_

Feeling a surge of energy, Helga leaned forward to kiss Arnold. Before doing so, she had lifted herself up from the bean bag quite a bit in order to reach him and was therefore hovering above him. It was Arnold's turn to gasp in the kiss and the vibration sent a tickling sensation down Helga's stomach.

"H—Helga?" Arnold questioned into the kiss and managed to push her a little bit off him since the bean bag was in his way. "I thought we were just gonna talk?"

"We were…" Helga admitted, still feeling the energy rushing through her. "But, I don't know, something changed my mind."

"What did?" Arnold asked, hoping to carve the reason into his memory for future reference.

"I just said I don't know." Helga said in impatience and went to kiss him again.

Arnold whimpered into the kiss and that made her groan. She wondered if this was how Arnold had felt when he kissed her before? The same impatience and the same need? The kissing definitely still felt weird, that hadn't changed, but what had changed was Helga's feelings. She liked hearing Arnold's small sounds and imagine his flushed cheeks. It made her want to do more.

Arnold's hand went to Helga's hip and it tickled her. It almost made her wish she hadn't taken off her coat, but the thought of shivering from the wet coat wasn't appealing either. He kept holding his hand there, occasionally making circles on her skin with his thumb. It wasn't unpleasant, but it tickled her and made her lose focus.

"Stop touching me there." Helga whispered in frustration and leaned up so she could see Arnold's face. His hair was tussled from her messing with it, his eyes were half-lidded and his lips were parted; He was perfection.

"Where do you want me to touch you then?" Arnold asked with a droopy smile, still high from the kiss. Now, _this_ face. This expression Helga didn't know how to deal with. So she looked away.

"I didn't expect that." She whispered, while feeling Arnold looking at her in confusion, the same way a puppy would.

"What?" Arnold asked, but Helga didn't answer no matter how long he waited. "After you just forced me to tell you what was on my mind, I think it's only fair if you do the same…"

Helga huffed in embarrassment and looked back at the boy beneath her. "You just looked kinda, um… what's the word?" she wondered, though she was mostly just trying to stall. She sighed. "You looked kinda hot there for a second."

Arnold's face turned deep red from the compliment. Helga snapped and pointed at him.

"See, that's the Arnold I know and can deal with; the cute one. Not that sexy thing from before."

"Sexy?!" Arnold repeated in shock and disbelief. " _Me_?!"

"I was just as shocked."

"Somehow I doubt that." Arnold said, his cheeks still as hot and red as fifteen seconds ago. When he felt a lock of his hair tickle his forehead, he looked up at the source of the tickling feeling. Helga was playing with a lock of his hair, caressing his forehead in the process. "You seem… different tonight."

"I feel different." Helga admitted. "I don't know how I feel about it, but… I think it might be a good thing. I just don't understand it yet."

"I'm… looking forward to finding out." Arnold said honestly. Something told him that Helga was starting to get curious about the same things he was curious about. What he still didn't understand was what had triggered it and what exactly she was curious about.

Helga smiled crookedly at the still cute boy under her. "Me too."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Anyone who can guess why the parrot is called Shorty? I guess it's pretty obvious; it's a reference to Arnold's last name Shortman :P**

 **Anyways, happy holidays and happy new year! Hope you enjoyed this last chapter for the year :)**


	15. Sweet on Helga

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After Helga started having dreams of drowning, she came to realize Arnold may have something to do with them. Those thoughts were confirmed when they had to stand pressed up against each other in the train and Helga didn't feel the usual disgust.**_

 _ **On their way home from their date, they made a stop to the old treehouse to take shelter from the rain. One thing led to another and Helga found herself kissing with Arnold, but it resulted in her getting nervous like always. After a talk though, where Arnold confessed how little it took for her to make him happy, something new sparked inside Helga and she kissed Arnold on her own. Little did she know that she had started something much bigger inside of her that night.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I have some sucky news in the second author's note so please make sure to read it :)**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 15: "Sweet on Helga"

"I can't believe I'm doing this. I look ridiculous!" Helga insisted while gesturing to the apron she was wearing. It was a true Christmas apron; green with reindeers on it.

Helga had expected it when she had agreed with Arnold to come to Sunset Arms to prepare some Christmas snacks. She was a pretty good cook, given that she had to cook for herself through most of her childhood, but pastries of any kind was not her forte. Neither was cutesy Christmas things.

"Well, we can look ridiculous together." Arnold insisted and gestured to his own apron which was light blue with white snowflakes.

Helga giggled. "But your outfits are _always_ questionable." She sassed back.

"I don't wanna hear that from a girl with pigtails." Arnold snapped back, wearing a similar smirk to the one Helga was wearing. She gasped artificially and threw some flour at the shorter blonde. "Real mature!"

Helga stuck her tongue out at Arnold and was rewarded with some flour on it. She coughed for a moment to collect herself, but threw some right back afterwards. A flour battle would have taken place if Miles and Phil hadn't come into the kitchen.

"Kids, kids, you're both pretty!" Miles laughed.

"What the hell?" Helga said in shock at the joke. Arnold took advantage of the distraction and pounced on her. She made a pterodactyl-like screech when he messed up her hair with the flour. "I'm gonna kill you!"

"Ok, Ohana, you two!" Phil said even though he was laughing heartily.

The two blondes continued laughing for a moment, Arnold hugging Helga from behind while catching his breath. "We are not family." he pointed out when he finally had his breathing settled.

"I feel more at home here though." Helga said and smiled at Arnold over her shoulder.

Arnold smiled back happily and sighed. "Your home is great too, Helga."

"Yeah, I know…" the girl replied seriously before her face broke into a grin. "And when Christmas is over and Olga is gone, it'll be even better!"

"Get back to work, you two." Phil said and patted Miles' shoulder to make him go back to the living room with him. "The cookies still need to be decorated!"

"I'll be right there, dad." Miles said before looking back at Helga, a serious expression on his face. "Helga, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Arnold let go of Helga's arms. "Should I leave?"

"No, no, it will only be a moment."

"You want to talk _to_ me and not _with_ me? That's never good…" Helga said and tried to laugh, but it came out rather hoarse. "Alright then. I'm listening."

"I have to be honest, Helga. Stella and I weren't very happy when Arnold told us he was in love with you and even less when you two actually started dating."

"Dad!" Arnold scolded, but Helga held her hand up.

"I think I understand why." the girl said calmly, but not rudely.

"But"—Miles sighed—"I have to admit that… you've changed quite a bit since you two started seeing each other. You seem less… I don't know, trouble-inducing."

Helga frowned. "I… guess I know what you mean." She said, but Arnold gave an insulted huff behind her.

"That sounded weird." Miles admitted. "What I'm trying to say is that we're really happy for the both of you. Arnold seems really happy whenever you're here and you… well, you seem a lot happier too. Or at least calmer."

Helga blinked a few times and felt her heart swell. "Oh, well… I—I mean, you're not wrong. I am trying to become a better person or… whatever."

"The change is clear." Miles encouraged and put his hand on Helga's shoulder. "We're really happy for you two."

"Thank you." Helga in astonishment.

Neither of the blondes had expected Miles or Stella to accept them anytime soon. They had never been afraid of showing their contempt for Helga, and they always firmly believed that she was a bad influence on him. Part of Arnold knew that still hadn't changed, but Miles seemed sincere when he said he and Stella were happy for them. Arnold hoped this would finally end the implied feud between them and his girlfriend. He wasn't about to give up his best friend for two people who left him alone for ten years.

Miles coughed awkwardly and patted Helga's shoulder a bit harshly. "I'll let you two get done decorating." He said and practically jogged out of the kitchen.

Helga blinked. "Did I just get your dad's blessing?"

"I think so." Arnold said in equal shock before he grinned brightly. "This is great, Helga! Even my parents can see how much you've changed!"

The blonde laughed shyly and tightened her pigtails. "I guess so. That's pretty big." She admitted and put on the oven mitts. "Let's not cry snot about it though, alright?"

Arnold watched while Helga took the cookies out of the oven and placed them on the counter. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around her and hug her tightly. "I'm really happy." He whispered near her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

Helga could feel herself blushing and she refused to do that, so she took off the oven mitts, grabbed a cookie and shoved it into Arnold's mouth. "How do they taste?" she asked with a smirk.

Arnold smirked back and took a bite before grabbing it. "Sweet, just like you."

Helga snorted in disgust. "Don't tell me you're gonna start with the pet names now that we've been blessed?" she asked before walking past him to grab the icing tubes and decorations.

"I think _sweety_ is cute though."

"Nuh-uh, absolutely not. If we absolutely _have_ to be one of those couples, I refuse to be called a lie."

"What? You're sweet." Arnold insisted and was sent a slanted look. "Alright, point taken… Would you really let me call you a pet name though?"

"Well…" Helga mumbled unsurely while placing the stuff on the counter next to the cookies. "It depends on the name, I guess. Sweety and sweetheart are out of the question. Too cutesy."

"Honey?"

"Too generic." Helga said while placing a hand on each side of the counter, trapping Arnold inside her arms. "And darling is—"

"Way too formal."

Helga nodded. "I kinda like it, but if we're gonna have pet names, I want them to make sense… I don't want to use pet names just because."

Arnold nodded. He could definitely see Helga's point. It wasn't that he was particularly fond of pet names as such, but suddenly the idea just excited him. Something only he got to call Helga, a pretty possessive thought, but he liked it. He just couldn't figure out what he wanted to call her. He thought about all their memories together, but the ones at the front of his mind were the ones around Christmas. And while thinking of one particular memory, it hit him.

"Angel."

"Hm?" Helga said, who had been thinking hard on her own what she'd feel comfortable calling Arnold.

"Angel." Arnold repeated with a sober smile.

Helga blinked a few times before she bend over his shoulder, laughing. "You can't be serious! That's even worse than sweety! And it makes no sense!"

"It does make sense. You're my Christmas angel." Arnold insisted.

Helga stopped laughing and leaned back to look at him. "Your what now?"

"Remember some years ago when I tried to find Mr. Hyunh's daughter? And how I just couldn't get the city archivist to help us unless we did his Christmas shopping for him?"

"Mr. Bailey is still such a Scrooge."

"But we were missing one thing; Nancy Spumoni snow boots."

Helga sighed dramatically. "The most wanted Christmas present that year."

"And that's why we couldn't get them and almost gave up… until you gave us yours." Arnold explained and Helga finally stopped interrupting the story. She couldn't help but listen in awe as if this was the first time she was hearing the story. "Thanks to you we got to find Mai and give Mr. Hyunh his daughter back. It was the best Christmas ever for all of us. And you know what Gerald said while you were talking with Mai and Mr. Hyunh? He called you my Christmas angel."

"He must have been joking." Helga insisted halfheartedly, but she couldn't help but let her heart swell inside her chest.

"That was the moment I realized that… that what I felt for you wasn't going to change. It wasn't just some childish crush or puppy love that I was going to grow out of. I was in love with you and… and that's why you're a Christmas angel. _My_ angel."

Helga couldn't hold it in anymore; the blood she knew had been trying to travel north finally reached her cheeks and she flushed bright red. She hoped Arnold wouldn't notice, that his denseness would save her, but no such luck. When he saw it, he flushed bright red as well.

"You're b—blushing!"

"You're the one b—blushing, Football Head! I am _not_ blushing!"

"Yes, you are!" Arnold insisted and turned her head so she could see her reflection in the small mirror hanging on the wall.

Helga realized to her horror that her face was too red to deny. "Alright, fine, I'm blushing! But how else am I supposed to react to that?!"

"I wasn't insulting you!"

"It is insulting! My feelings are showing on my face, that's horrible!"

"Thank god they do or else I'd never know what you're feeling!"

On the other side of the door, Arnold's family could hear the teenagers yelling. They couldn't hear what they were yelling about though. Stella looked worriedly at Miles.

"Did we give them our blessing too soon?"

"I don't know…" Miles insisted and was about to stand up, but Stella stopped him.

"My turn." She insisted and went towards the door. She opened it, peered inside for a moment and then closed it silently. Her face was slightly flushed, but very much expressionless while she jogged back to the table. "We must have misunderstood what the yelling was about."

"What's happening?" Miles asked.

Stella gave an awkward smile. "They're kissing… quite passionately I'll add."

"I did not need to know that." Miles said while scrunching his face.

"Arnold has better moves than you ever did, Miles!" Phil mocked and laughed heartily.

* * *

"Angel?!" the girls all shrieked in unison, some on disgust, but most in excitement.

"That is so cheesy!" Rhonda said while sticking out her tongue and Nadine nodded her head in agreement.

"I think it's sweet, just ever so sweet!" Lila said with stars twinkling in her eyes. "Ooh, what have you decided to call him?"

Helga kept resting her chin in the palm of her hand, wearing as casual a smile on her face as she could muster. "I've decided to keep calling him Football Head for now. One step at a time, girls, and… I kinda just want it to come naturally. Same with Arnold."

Phoebe nudged her shoulder against Helga's. "You seem really happy, Helga."

"I… feel really happy, Phoebs." The blonde admitted and the others cooed at her. "No, I refuse that. No cooing, no cheering and no going _aww_ either."

"One step at a time." Patty teased. "There is something I want to ask you though, Helga… but I don't know if you want to talk about that with _all_ of us."

"I'm fine." Helga said with a shrug, but regretted that answer when Patty asked her question.

"How's it going with you two physically?"

"Oh… I, um… Uh…" Helga mumbled and looked to Phoebe for help.

"Well, don't ask me!" Phoebe giggled.

Helga rolled her eyes and then her shoulders. "That's a hard question… I feel like I'm more comfortable with kissing him, but… something weird happened after we went to the Ronnie Matthews concert…"

"I thought you said you just went home?"

"I lied." The blonde admitted and the other girls instantly moved closer to her in curiosity. "We… kinda ended up going to Mighty Pete because it started raining."

"Oh, is it as great as I remember?" Sheena asked.

"Better!" Helga laughed. "Those kids can really decorate."

Patty coughed.

"Anyways… Arnold and I started kissing and… I got nervous so he stopped, but then we talked and, um…" Helga said nervously and sighed before she sent a knowing look at Patty. "I suddenly understood what you meant."

"Wait. What does that mean?" Rhonda asked. "What did you tell her?"

"I just told Helga that there's no better feeling than knowing a guy wants you." Patty replied as vaguely as possible. "Whatever Arnold said must have sparked something in you."

Helga nodded awkwardly. "I don't know what happened, but… suddenly, I just really wanted to kiss him… even though I was the one who stopped it just a minute before."

"I really wanna know what Arnold said." Nadine giggled.

"Not important." Patty insisted. "What matters is that you finally seem to get it."

"I sorta do, but not really… I don't know what changed. All I did was get on top of him and—"

"Too much info!" Rhonda said and held her ears.

"No, wait. Helga?" Phoebe asked and the blonde looked at her. "Got on top of him? Have you always been under him before?"

Helga thought about it for a moment and then nodded.

"Well, that makes sense!" Sheena said with a bright smile.

"Yeah, if you're the one on top you're in more control." Nadine added.

"And he is at your mercy. You got it, Helga!" Patty cheered. "It's less scary like that. That's why you need to be on top. I'm sure Arnold doesn't mind."

"Could something that stupid really solve everything?" Helga asked in disbelief, but she had to admit that if she put the two scenarios up against each other, she definitely preferred the one where she was hovering over Arnold.

"No, no, it's not gonna solve anything, but getting more physical with Arnold will be easier this way." Nadine corrected.

Patty smirked. "The best thing is when you're _sitting_ on top of him." She said and that got the blonde girl's attention.

"Oh, yeah!" Sheena said with an innocent giggle. "On a couch is the best."

"Chair works too." Patty said and leaned back in her chair for emphasis.

Helga looked at nothing in particular for a few seconds before she stood up. The girls watched while she left the classroom without a word.

"Where's she going?" Nadine asked in honest confusion.

"I think she's going to check your theory." Phoebe said with an innocent smile while looking at Patty.

Patty stretched her arms and put them behind her head. "All in a day's work."

Helga jogged straight towards the cafeteria where she knew Arnold was with the boys. She found them quickly, they always ate at the same table after all. It didn't take Harold long to notice her and he patted Arnold's arm to make him look up. When he saw Helga, he smiled and was about to say something, until she grabbed him by his hand and made him stand up.

"Wow, Arnold. Your girlfriend pulling you away for a secret make out session?" Sid asked and laughed heartily with the other boys.

Arnold blushed and sent a scowl their way. "Very funny!" he said sarcastically and looked ahead of him again. "Helga, what's going on? Are you ok?"

Helga didn't answer; she just kept pulling Arnold with her until she decided on a classroom and went inside. Arnold looked around; if he remembered correctly, this classroom wasn't going to be used again for the rest of the day, but that didn't explain why Helga had pulled him in there. He followed her, even after she let go of his hand, and watched while she pulled out a chair.

"Uh, Helga?" Arnold asked before he saw her eyes. There was a certain fire in them he couldn't recognize and it rendered him unable to resist when she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down on the chair. "Helga…? Did, uh, Sid guess correctly or…? N—No way."

Arnold chuckled awkwardly, but went dead silent when Helga sat on his lap with her arms over his shoulders. His hands automatically went to her hips to steady her, but besides that, he didn't dare move. Helga kept looking at him, studying him almost. He could feel her breath on his face getting stronger and one of her fingers was playing with a lock of his hair. When Helga leaned down to kiss Arnold, he couldn't help but flush bright red.

"Seriously?" Arnold got to whisper right before Helga demanded his lips in a passionate kiss.

The boy couldn't help but gasp into the kiss and that made the girl whimper in need. There was something so undeniably delicious about that sound and she was determined to make him keep making it. This time, she decided to remember all his reactions so she knew what made him make that sound and what didn't. She tried to memorize everything; the way he tightened his hold on her hips when she bit on his lip, the way he shivered when she dragged her nails down his neck, the way he moaned when she moved her hips. She suddenly understood how people could addicted to something.

"H—Helga, stop." Arnold panted, completely out of breath already. The girl on top of him only moved about an inch away to give him room to speak. "I—If we keep going, I think I'm gonna—"

Arnold's sentence was cut off by Helga's impatient lips. She didn't know what this feeling was, but it was driving her crazy. There was something about that pleading look in Arnold's eyes. They both told her to please show mercy and please never stop. It was such mixed signals and it made him seem so pure. A kind of purity she couldn't resist.

"H—Helga!" Arnold attempted in-between the kisses, but she was too insistent and he was too mesmerized to put on a real fight. "Wait… You're turning… me on… too much."

Helga gave a shivery whimper from the info. Something like that, a comment like that, would usually have earned the other person a slap if they were lucky. But there was something about the voice Arnold had used while saying it. There was something sweet about it rather than vulgar. Something that made her proud rather than disgusted. Like he really couldn't help himself.

Arnold really couldn't help himself. Last time, after the concert, they had been kissing a bit before-hand so he had been warned. He had been warned about this Helga; the Helga who apparently was an amazing kisser. But now he had been taken by surprise. He'd been talking and eating lunch with his guy friends only two minutes ago before his girlfriend had dragged him away for no other reason than because she wanted to do _this_. Make out in an empty classroom while sitting on his lap. So Arnold really couldn't help himself.

The blondes parted with a moan when they heard the bell ring. Helga almost kissed Arnold again when she saw how disheveled he looked; mussed hair, slightly swollen lips and those half-hooded eyes. She wondered if she looked the same. After one last kiss, the woozy blonde stood up and smiled at her boyfriend. He wanted to smile back, but didn't get the chance before she looked at his pants and put her hand to her mouth. Arnold immediately closed his legs and put his hands over his lap as nonchalantly as he could. Needless to say, that task was almost impossible.

"I did that…" Helga whispered in awe. Arnold looked up with apprehension in his eyes. The blue orbs were totally unreadable. Until their owner started laughing in disbelief. "I did that… Oh, criminy. What do we do?"

Arnold would have laughed if he didn't feel so awkward. "Uh… well, I can't go to class like this so… I—I have to go to… the restroom."

Helga looked confused for a moment, but then realization dawned on her and she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. "S—Sorry…"

"No, it's ok." Arnold insisted and stood up while trying to hide his embarrassment. "It wasn't… unwelcome or anything. I was pretty surprised though. What got you… uh, in the mood?"

"I can't remember." Helga said and it was the truth. All she could recall was talking to the girls and then suddenly, it was like a magnet was pulling at her.

Arnold didn't believe her, but he didn't have time to question her. "It's gonna be hard trying to hide this."

" _Hard_ trying to hide this…" Helga mumbled and giggled to herself. She looked at Arnold who looked back at her in annoyance. She started unbuttoning her shirt to the surprise of the already disheveled boy. After taking it off, and revealing the tank top underneath, she threw it at Arnold. "Wear this around your waist to hide it."

"Good thing you weren't wearing pink." Arnold commented, mostly to mask his own embarrassment.

"I think you could rock pink."

"The guys would never let me forget it."

"Oh, who cares what they think. It just proves how fragile the male ego is if they can't even handle a guy wearing pink."

Arnold gave a lopsided smirk at that. "I wish more people thought like you."

"Me too, it would make everything so much easier." The blonde replied with a smirk.

After a final kiss, Arnold and Helga left the classroom only to be bombarded by the students heading back to class. It was to their luck though and Arnold could easily slip into the restroom without being spotted. Helga went to class, hoping he'd have enough time to do what he had to do. Frankly, she didn't know how long something like that took, and now that the moment of passion was gone, she really didn't want to know. She had a feeling though that she'd get curious again soon enough.

All eyes were on Helga when she got inside the classroom. She didn't spare any of them a glance and simply went to sit at her desk. Curious eyes were on her and it didn't take long before someone commented on her lack of shirt. Despite claiming she was hot, the others pointed out that it was finally snowing outside so how could she be cold? Helga had dismissed them casually, but had a feeling they didn't believe her either way. That didn't mean she had to admit it. She wanted them to keep guessing. But when Arnold finally entered, just in time before their teacher did, he wasn't very subtle. Handing Helga her shirt discreetly was an impossible task, so Helga simply slipped it on like it was nothing. If the teacher hadn't started the lesson immediately, the blondes would have been in a third degree interrogation.

* * *

"He's really changed…" Harold said with his eyes wide open. The other boys nodded in sync with each other, never taking their eyes off Arnold's cousin.

"Lulu breaking up with him really changed him…" Arnold said with concern in his voice.

"Hey, he changed for the better! He's not so boring now!" Sid laughed.

"Don't say that! That's what Lulu said when she broke up with him."

"What were her exact words?" Gerald asked.

Arnold groaned. "She told him he was more boring than the lint he was collecting…"

The other boys laughed heartily.

"Come on, you guys! He's my cousin. I have to feel bad for him." Arnold said, but he was secretly trying to hold back a laugh of his own.

Arnold's cousin Arnie was indeed the biggest Average Joe anyone in the class had ever had the displeasure of meeting. When he was a kid, his biggest hobbies were counting things, reading ingredient labels, collecting lint and chew plain-flavored gum. Despite that, Lila had a huge crush on him in fourth grade, but he broke things off with her because he fell for Helga to her complete and utter disgust. When he was about 10 though, he got together with a girl named Lula with an uncanny resemblance to Lila. At least looks-wise. Arnold never understood why Lulu or Arnie liked the other enough to date them for as many years as they did, but they actually lasted 6 years. Until recently when Lulu broke up with him quite harshly.

When Arnold had gone to pick up Arnie, his jaw had almost dropped to the floor when he saw his cousin. Everything about him had changed; his hair was slicked back, he had dumped his cap and was wearing what could only be described as Grease clothes. A more modern, acceptable version, but nevertheless a leather coat and everything. Arnie had told Arnold about the breakup on their way to Sunset Arms and told him he was going to try and turn a new leaf. He didn't want to be this dull person anymore that scared everyone away. He thought Lulu was different, but even she got sick of him at one point. So he had made the decision that if he ever wanted to get some new friends and maybe a lover again, he had to try to widen his horizons.

"So, Arnold." Helga's voice spoke behind the blonde boy and he leaned his head back to look at her. She chuckled at the cute gesture and kissed his forehead. "When's Mr. Dull gonna come for Christmas?"

"He's already here." Harold chortled.

"Where?" Helga asked and looked around the arcade.

Arnold grabbed Helga's chin and directed her towards Arnie. "Right there."

"Leather jacket?"

"Yep."

"You're kidding!" Helga said in shock and her jaw dropped the same way Arnold's had. "Did he have an aneurism or something?"

"Lulu broke up with him."

"Good riddance!" Helga replied and sat down next to Arnold. "Is this what they call a midlife crisis?"

Sid snickered. "He's sure acting like it!"

Helga shook her head. "Does Lila still have a huge crush on him now that he's more, uh—"

"Normal?"

"Fun?"

"Human?"

"Yes, all of those." Helga grinned. "Or has he lost his charms now?"

"Look for yourself." Gerald replied and gestured towards Arnie who was playing a game against Lila who looked utterly bored. "I think she's finally over him."

"Good riddance!" Helga repeated and laughed heartily with the boys.

The sound caught Arnie's ears and he looked towards them. Arnold was the first one to notice and he waved him over. Arnie talked to Lila for a moment before he jogged towards Helga and the boys. He slicked his hair back before he approached them.

"Hey, Helga."

Helga turned around, still grinning from before, but it disappeared when she saw Arnie up close. "Wow, you changed even more than I thought."

Arnie gave a nervous chuckle. "I look a little more interesting now, huh?"

"Um… Honestly? You couldn't have gotten duller."

"Helga!" Arnold scolded, but Arnie just laughed.

"No, she's right, cuzz. Lulu helped me figure that out." He said and then coughed awkwardly. "Uh, Helga? The boys said you're really good at the shooting game. Mind if I challenge you?"

Helga couldn't help but frown. This was still Arnie after all and part of her couldn't forget how much he creeped her out when they were kids. He wasn't particularly vulgar or aggressive, but he had followed her like a puppy when they were kids.

Seeing Helga's hesitation, Arnie put up his hands. "I promise not to talk about lint or ingredients."

"If you do, I'll hit the gun on your head." Helga joked and got up from the chair. "Fine. One game."

Arnie had a hard time hiding his smile while he and Helga went towards the game. Arnold smiled as well; it made him happy to see his cousin and girlfriend getting along. Whether Helga got along with his family and friends didn't matter much to him when they were just friends, but it was different now. Now he wanted all of them to love her and her to love all of them. Getting his parents' approval had gotten him even more positive than before.

"Uh, Arnold?" Gerald said and snapped his fingers in front of the green eyes. "Are you ok with that?"

"With what?" Arnold asked in confusion.

"Arnie and Helga playing together?"

"Why is that a problem?"

"Arnold!" Sid bellowed in disbelief. "You know Arnie's always been sweet on Helga! Doesn't that worry you?"

Arnold couldn't help but chuckle even though he felt mean for it. "Oh, come on. Arnie's always creeped Helga out even before he told her he liked her."

"Yeah, _old_ Arnie." Stinky pointed out. "He's a changed man, Arnold. Helga might actually like him now."

Arnold shook his head. "I'm not worried."

"I think you should be." Harold said while staring to his side. The other boys looked in the same direction and saw Helga and Arnie bantering while playing the game. Helga clearly just lost a round and pushed at Arnie's shoulder playfully. "He's, uh… doing pretty well."

Arnold wasn't really sure what was happening. He didn't want to look, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Helga was laughing with Arnie, playing with Arnie and touching Arnie. It wasn't romantic, not in the slightest, but she was touching him. More than she touched the boys in class. She was grinning wildly, clearly having fun even though she was losing her favorite game to the country bumpkin. She was usually too competitive to see the fun in that. What the hell was going on?

"She just laughed at something he said." Harold said in shock and that triggered Arnold into action.

"Criminy, you can't be serious!" Helga laughed while wiping her eyes free of tears. She noticed Arnold and grabbed his hand when he got close enough. "Come, listen to this. Arnie, tell that story again."

And Arnie did tell that story again, and Arnold listened. Arnie's story was nothing like Arnold had imagined, nothing like his old stories about gum and counting things. This story was told perfectly with just enough hand gestures and voice acting. It was interesting and even though he didn't want to, Arnold laughed at the punchline. And so did Helga. And the worst part was that enough though Arnold was still holding Helga's hand, her other hand kept pushing playfully at Arnie.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: And, uh, this is the sucky part… School just started for me again and these next months are going to be really hard on me. I have five subjects and ten exams to look forward to. And I hate four of those subjects and don't have an opinion on the fifth one yet. I knew this year was going to suck, but there's more than that.**

 **I auditioned for an editing competition on YouTube a couple months ago** _ **before**_ **I knew what my schedule was going to be like. I got in, and it's such an honor to be one of the 16 editors out of 52 who auditioned. I've wanted to participate in this annual completion for years and finally, there was a theme I adored. I'm confident in my editing skills, but the problem is the stress. It's a very intense competition with a lot of planning, plotting with other people and of course a bunch of editing. That, along with school, is going to be a bitch.**

 **To make matters worse, my poor 60-year-old mom just broke her ankle and is strapped to a boot for the next six weeks. That means I have to take care of her, which I of course want to, but the timing couldn't be worse for either of us.**

 **This means I have to make some sacrifices. I can't very well quit school, I can't** _ **not**_ **take care of my mother and this competition is too big a chance for me as an editor. So what's left to remove from my schedule? My writing…**

 **I have to go on a hiatus. If I don't, I'll go down with stress and probably a depression again like I have before. I might not even be able to keep being in the competition if it comes down to it, but I will damn well try. If I leave the competition, I want it to be because the others are better, not because I gave up. So, for the sake of my mental health, I have to give up on the few things I can and unfortunately, writing is one of them.**

 **It breaks my heart and it sucks, for you as well as me, but I have little to no choice in the matter. I want to keep writing, and this is a sucky place to stop it for… who knows how long, but I can't help it.**

 **I'm really sorry about this, but this story is officially on a hiatus until further notice. The longest it should be would be until I'm done with my exams… which won't be until summer. It's going to be hard on me as well not to be able to write because it's the hobby I go to when I am stressed. It helps. But I think it'll only become yet another stress factor if I don't decide right now to leave the story as it is for the time being.**

 **I'm really sorry and I hope you guys will still be here when I come back :)**


	16. My feelings are weaker than yours

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **While baking Christmas treats with Helga, Arnold remembered and reminded her of the time she helped with getting Mr. Hyunh find his daughter, once again making her understand that she wasn't as cruel as she thought. In fact, he decided to start calling her angel so she would never forget.**_

 _ **While talking with the girls, Helga's curiosity got sparked from a comment Patty made about making Arnold putty in her hands. She led Arnold away from the boys to test the theory and found herself uncharacteristically excited from her boyfriend's reaction while she was kissing him. Despite the awkwardness, Helga felt proud for having such an influence on him.**_

 _ **Arnold's cousin Arnie came to visit for Christmas and after his girlfriend Lulu broke up with him, his whole demeanor changed. While Helga was still uncomfortable with him at first, she soon warmed up to him, more than Arnold liked. And she's only continue to warm more up to him.**_

 _ **Trouble is in the horizon.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I MISSED YOU ALL! And I missed this story, and I missed writing and just, ugh x'D I hope the usual "in the last chapter" above is enough to help you guys remember what happened last time. Given it's been seven and a half months I don't blame people if they don't remember that well, so I made a more thorough** _ **in the last chapter**_ **this time for the sake of people not having to go back and reread the former chapters xD**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 16: "My feelings are weaker than yours"

" _Longhorn Saloon_?" Helga read aloud and felt the hair on her arms bristle. "Arnie, you do realize we're city kids, right?"

"That's exactly why I think you should try it!" Arnie said excitedly.

"Come on, guys." Arnold said in his usual chipper manner, looking at his friends who all looked ready to bail. "This could be fun."

"It's not very Christmassy." Sheena said in displeasure, but forced a smile. "But you're right, it could still be fun."

"That'll do." Arnie said before leading them towards the saloon.

Helga smiled awkwardly at Arnold before they follow him inside. "Sheena is right, it does feel a little weird to go to a cowboy bar this close to Christmas eve."

"It could be an adventure?" Arnold suggested lamely.

Helga snorted. "My very own Mr. Bright side." She teased and followed Arnie inside.

After they had all put their coats and jackets in the wardrobe, they walked into what could only be described as an assault of the smell of whiskey and the twangy sounds of country music. Helga halted immediately when a novel cowboy hat was thrown onto her head. After glaring at Arnold for a moment she turned on her heel. Arnold had foreseen her reaction though and had grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving the saloon.

"Please, Helga?" Arnold begged before he got a cowboy hat thrown onto him as well.

"Fine, but only because we all look equally stupid." Helga sneered, watching as her friends put on their cowboy hats as well. "This place is a joke."

"Please try to have fun. Not for me, but for Arnie. He's really trying." Arnold begged, his lip twitching from the contradictory feelings roaming around inside of him.

Helga hesitated, but then readjusted her hat. "Yeehaw or whatever."

Arnold chuckled and followed Helga back to the others. Arnie was currently leading them all through a sea of Stetson hats, and over to a bar decked out in Western décor.

"If he orders moonshine, I'll murder him." Helga whispered to Phoebe who chuckled at the comment.

"I will have to decline if he does. I can barely handle a simple beer."

After a few minutes, the bartender had finished several non-alcoholic drinks and put them on the counter for the teens. They were shaped like cowboy boots, the orangey cocktail inside topped with a novelty cactus-shaped garnish.

"You best be joking." Helga said with a tired voice. "I have never wanted a shot more in my life. What even is this?"

"Longhorn Texas Sunrise." Arnie answered and clinked his glass against Helga's. The blonde girl pushed away one of her pigtails and tried the drink. Her nose scrunched from the taste, but she smiled politely at Arnie anyhow. The moment he turned away, she stuck her tongue out in disgust.

"Angel." Arnold scolded lowly, but couldn't help but chuckle.

"What? I was nice to the country bumpkin, wasn't I?" Helga pointed out, blushing from the new nickname. She stuck her tongue out at him again, this time playfully, which just made him laugh.

"Hey, guys. Ever ridden a mechanical bull?" Arnie asked the gang and gestured towards a small arena with a big, red mechanical bull in it. A crowd was standing around it, cheering on a man who was holding on for dear life. "Wanna try?"

"How about absolutely not?!" Rhonda suggested in horror, cringing visibly.

"I have to agree with my sweetiepoo, the only animals I'll ride are real ones! Big ones!" Curly said in his usual eccentric voice.

"Sweetiepoo?" Helga repeated with what could only be described as a shit-eating grin while she quirked an eyebrow at the black-haired diva.

Rhonda growled. "You got something to say, _Angel_?"

Helga made a sound of utter horror and then sneered at Arnold. "This is your fault."

The blonde boy mouthed an apology, but couldn't help but chuckle. "You should try the bull, Helga."

"You've ridden bulls?" Arnie asked while some of the gang went towards Ol' Red.

"Well, I—"

"You wanna try, girlie?" a man, who looked exactly like that rich Texan from Simpsons, asked Helga.

The blonde sneered at the name and then smiled sweetly. "Yeah, I'll get it a shot." She answered and grabbed ahold of the bull.

Arnie stepped closer. "Hang on with one hand and put the other one up for balance. You should hold on with your heels, but keep your torso loose so you can move with the bull."

Arnold tried to hold back a snicker while Arnie instructed Helga on how to ride the mechanical bull. Helga noticed and snickered herself.

Arnie looked between them. "What's funny?"

"You'll see." Arnold said and pulled his cousin back. Helga winked at him before signaling for the man to start the bull.

The machine hummed to life and Helga felt the seat rise, rotate and start undulating back and forth. Her hips moved gracefully even when it started jerking violently to the side. The people watching started hollering and cheering for her. So was Arnold until he felt a weird sensation in his stomach. His eyes caught sight of her thighs and remembered the feeling of them around his hips. He felt a blush spread on his cheeks, but managed to make it disappear just in time for Helga to get thrown off the bull.

"Three cheers for our little cowgirl!" the man yelled and people cheered for Helga while she curtsied sarcastically.

"How the heck did you do that?" Arnie asked impressed when Helga joined them again.

"My mom was a state bull riding champion so she's taught me a few thing."

"You're kidding. No wonder you were laughing at me." Arnie said in embarrassment.

Helga chuckled before looking at Arnold. "Your turn, Football Head."

"Oh, I don't know…"

"Oh, come on, if you can ride a donkey, you can ride a mechanical bull."

"Glueboy wasn't this aggressive." Arnold insisted even while walking towards the bull. "And that was years ago!"

"It's like riding a bike!"

"I seriously doubt that." Arnold retorted before jumping onto the bull. He signaled the ok to start and Ol' Red roared back to life. It soon picked up the speed, bucking and spinning unpredictably, until Arnold was thrown off. He stood up, dusted himself off and wished he could dust away the shame he could feel as well.

"Smooth." Helga bullied.

Arnold sighed and blew a lock of his hair away from his face. "Told ya'."

"That you did."

"Ok, my turn." Arnie said, jogged towards the bull and jumped on it with practiced ease.

"Wow!" Helga bellowed and started hollering while Arnie rode on the mechanical bull like it was second nature to him. The others watching started whistling and cheering as well.

Arnold couldn't believe it. Was this really his weird, kinda dumb cousin? That dude up there, getting hollers and whistles, couldn't be the same guy. But it was and that was hard to accept. Especially when Helga seemed to start liking him. Which was fine, really. He wanted her to like his family. Of course he did. There was nothing wrong with that.

So why did he feel so panicky?

* * *

"Why do you keep winning?!" Sid hollered in frustration while he threw his Uno cards on the table.

"I guess it's my lucky strike." Helga said cockily while collecting the dollar bills. Arnold started banging a rhythm on the table and she recognized it immediately. " _My lucky strike_!" they sang together and started laughing.

Harold groaned dramatically. "You guys are becoming _that_ couple."

"To be fair, they've always been that couple just without the couple part." Gerald teased and nudged at Arnold's arm.

Arnold knew he was supposed to feel happy right then. He was having fun with his friends and he and Helga were getting along more than ever. He'd swear he could feel some flirting in the air. It felt natural even. So why did he keep having this terrible feeling in his gut? Like something bad was going to happen or that it was already happening behind his back? Every time he saw Helga and Arnie together, it didn't matter what they were doing, he could feel the knot in his stomach get tighter.

Helga didn't laugh with the other boys that much. She didn't touch the other boys that much. She didn't even look at the other boys that much. This was jealousy and he didn't need Gerald to tell him that. It wasn't something Arnold had ever been met with before. Helga had never been around other boys besides him, she had never had any interest in other boys. She hated men and he was the exception, he'd always been. She had started getting more comfortable around the other boys, sure, but it wasn't the same. It just wasn't. He didn't feel this way when she talked to Sid, Harold, Stinky or anyone else. He only felt this way when she was talking to Arnie.

And he hated it.

"Ok, I think it's time to get creative!" Curly said before he took his glass. "Make me laugh within a minute or I win!"

And with those words, he took a chug of his soda and waited for his friends to try and make him laugh. When Stinky reached out to tickle him, Curly moved his flattened hands in front of each other to form an X.

Rhonda hummed thoughtfully. "So we have to make Curly laugh… but we can't touch him."

And so the _don't laugh_ game began. Curly was an impossible nut to crack, but the others eventually lost until it was Arnold's turn. He was doing pretty well, until Helga decided to interfere with the boys' attempt.

"No one says he has to _laugh_ , right? He just needs to spit out the soda?"

"That works." Gerald said curiously and watched as Helga crawled closer to a very apprehensive Arnold. She whispered something in his ear and he immediately spit the soda out. He started coughing while staring at her in utter shock. She and the others laughed heartily at his flushed cheeks. "What the hell did you say to him, Pataki?"

"Not telling." the blondes agreed in unison.

"Ok, it's your turn, Helga." Arnie said and gave her the soda. She chugged from it, but spit it out only a few seconds later when Arnie told her a joke.

"That is _so_ bad!"

"But it got you!" Arnie laughed proudly. Helga's shoulders were shaking with laughter as well.

"I don't get the joke." Stinky admitted.

While Sid and Harold started explaining it to Stinky, Gerald nudged at Arnold. "Dude, she just laughed at his joke. It's not a big deal."

"Of course it's not a big deal. Who said it was a big deal? I didn't say it was a big deal." Arnold speed-talked before taking Gerald's drink from him. He knew it had alcohol in it and that's why he wanted it. He took a very long, way above average sip of it. He felt its affects almost immediately. Damn, why was he such a lightweight? Gerald gave him a tired, knowing look and he sighed. "Why am I such a mess over this?"

"Arnie is _not_ competition, Arnold. But I get why you think that."

"I don't think he's competition! I'm just—"

"Ok, everyone has tried now." Eugene interrupted excitedly and started looking at the games pile. "What do you guys wanna play now? How about an old classic?"

"Twister!" Gerald said before Eugene could grab any other game. "We need to move around after sitting on our asses!"

"And if you're lucky you can get close to Helga." Sid whispered in Arnold's ear. His face flushed immediately and he pushed at his friend's shoulder. The other boys grinned widely at him, knowing exactly what Sid had been whispering about.

"You guys are in cahoots." Arnold mumbled, took another swig of Gerald's drink and helped spread the Twister sheet.

By popular vote, Arnold, Helga and Arnie were to start the game. It was going well with them all playing around and teasing each other. At least until Arnold noticed that Helga's competitive spirit was taking over any other instinct she had. Which wasn't a surprise, she could be extremely competitive, but when she was starting to graze him every time she moved, it was turning into a problem.

"Sorry, Football Head." Helga said before she was about to move again.

"That's just fine—" Arnold barely managed to squeak before he felt her stomach colliding with his. She was now hovering above him, and if he hadn't been very solidly planted with his right ligaments on one color and his left ligaments on another color, he would probably have tumbled in shock.

It was at that moment that Helga realized what position they were in. She could feel his thigh between her own and whenever she exhaled, her stomach and chest touched his. All blood rushed to her head and she got extremely dizzy. Before she knew it, she lost her footing and crashed on Arnold who also fell to the floor. The others laughed while Arnold took Helga's arms and helped her up.

"You, uh, ok?" he asked and Helga stuttered an awkward reply while she got up. "I guess I'm out then."

"What? I was the one who fell down." Helga countered.

"But I touched the ground so… I—It's ok, Helga, keep on playing." Arnold insisted and crawled towards Gerald, making a secret sigh.

Gerald gave him his newly-filled cup. He watched while his blonde friend drank eagerly from it. He knew he probably shouldn't be enabling his friend's sudden interest in getting wasted, but he knew Arnold wasn't stupid. He wasn't going to get fucked up beyond all recognition, as Helga liked to call it. If it could numb his jealousy a bit that would be the best for everyone involved.

"You sure it's ok with you that those two are playing?" Gerald whispered while gesturing at Arnie and Helga who were back in position.

"I just had to take a break." Arnold whispered, but he knew what Gerald meant. And he regretted it more and more while he watched Helga and Arnie get into increasingly more awkward positions. What bothered him the most was that Helga seemed to be fine with it. She didn't try to get away, she didn't even seem awkward. She was joking and laughing like before. She wasn't like that with him or the other boys.

Arnold felt dizzy, but he kept drinking anyway. He wondered if Miriam ever missed drinking. But maybe it was different if there wasn't anything you wanted to forget.

Helga wanted to slap Arnie, run away and never look at him again. Having him so close to her made her uncomfortable in ways she couldn't describe. She could feel herself shiver even, and not in that ticklish way Arnold made her shiver. But she stayed cause she knew how much it meant to Arnold that she got along with his family. She'd be damned if she wasn't at least going to try for him. So she kept smiling, kept making jokes, and tried to subtly move away from Arnie whenever they were forced to get closer. It wasn't that he in particular freaked her out anymore. If anything, she was actually getting more comfortable with him than her classmates. Being close to him just made her nervous.

She had an idea why.

"Ok, my legs are giving out." Arnie laughed before falling to the floor with a thud. "Good hustle, Helga."

She laughed while standing up. The others cheered sarcastically while she bowed. She and Arnold smiled at each other for a moment, until Helga turned around and held her hand out for Arnie to take. Arnold's hands curled into fists as he watched Helga and Arnie hold hands long enough for her to help him up. What only lasted 5 seconds felt like an eternity to Arnold.

And he couldn't take it anymore.

Even though Arnie and Helga had already let go of each other, Arnold still stood up to walk out of the room. He heard Helga call his name, but he pretended not to hear it. He knew he was being ridiculous. That's what he told himself at least, but somewhere deep inside him he couldn't help but feel unsure. What if this nagging feeling in his gut was right? Arnie and Helga seemed to have so much in common now that he had changed. He could make her laugh so easily, they seemed to have started to think alike and now that Arnold thought about it, their families had certain things in common.

Helga could talk to Arnie about these things if she wanted to. And he would understand. Not just understand the way Arnold did because he knew Helga, but understand because he had similar experiences. That wasn't something Arnold could ever do. Maybe it was healthy for Helga to have someone like Arnie in her life. Maybe he could do more for her than Arnold could. Maybe Arnie could actually help her with her misandry.

"Ok, what crawled up your ass and died?"

Arnold screamed at the top of his lungs. He stumbled around and saw Helga staring at him in shock. She started laughing.

"Oh, my! How the tables have turned!"

Arnold wanted to laugh. He really did. But all that came out of his mouth was a dissatisfied grunt.

"Ok, this is weird." Helga stated while she approached Arnold. He didn't look at her so she jumped onto the kitchen counter.

Arnold finally looked at her when she touched his cheek. She looked a bit blurry to him, but she was giving him such a nice smile that he almost got butterflies in his stomach. But they weren't fluttering. His heart clenched as he moved his face away from her hand. The way she looked at him stung.

"Wow, um… I guess I understand how that feels now." Helga muttered and looked away. "Why would you do that? You know how hard it is for me to do things like that."

Arnold couldn't help but sneer at that. "Maybe you shouldn't do it then if that's hard for you."

"That's not what I meant!" Helga bellowed in shock and glared at the boy next to her. "You know I'm not good at showing affection. It's like that with everyone!"

 _I know_ , Arnold thought, but kept quiet. _I know how hard it is for you. I know how hard you're trying_.

"You still don't have to force yourself."

Helga sighed in annoyance. "I just wanted you to feel better."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Then"—his voice broke—"kiss me."

The blush spreading on Helga's cheeks was evident. Arnold almost never asked for anything, not anything like that at least. She stuttered for a moment, at a loss how to react, but then she gave a weak smile and leaned down to kiss him. He pressed his lips closer to hers, wanting to feel every inch of them. He could taste something on her lips that he couldn't put his finger on. Her hand went to his shoulder, but whether it was to get him closer to her or keep him at a distance, he didn't know. He put his own arms around her waist, wrapping her legs around him. They quivered against his sides.

When Arnold felt Helga about to pull away, he remembered what he would usually do; let go of her reluctantly, caress her cheek and maybe just give her one more kiss. He skipped the first part this time and dragged her back to him before she could get away. She gasped against his mouth, surprised at his sudden forcefulness. When he grabbed her around her legs, she thought he was simply going to help her down and that would be the end of it, but he just pulled her all the way to the edge of the counter, putting her in a position where she had to hold onto him or else she would fall down.

Helga tried saying Arnold's name, but his tongue in her mouth shut her up. But only for a moment. She slapped his cheek gently. Gently being the keyword. It felt more like a pat, the same kind of pat you would give a newborn puppy. It made Arnold come to his senses though and he pulled away, looking up at Helga in surprise at his own actions. She was breathing heavily, her chest pushing against his with every breath she took. He almost kissed her again, but she moved backwards before he could.

"Arnold!" she scolded, but gave another weak smile. "Seriously, what's going?"

Arnold didn't answer, he just hid his face in her chest. He could feel it jump against him, probably because she was surprised at his action. He inhaled deeply, noticing a scent he hadn't smelled on her before.

"Are you wearing something?"

"Huh?" Helga stuttered, wondering how long it would take before her heart would calm down after this.

"You smell of something… and yet you smell the same as always."

"Smell… How the hell do you—"

Helga was cut off mid-sentence when Arnold kissed her neck. "I noticed it when I was kissing you before too. You taste so good."

Helga was sputtering total nonsense at this point. _What the hell is going on?! Is he drunk? Wait, did he drink? He did, didn't he? He must have_. She could feel her brain short-circuiting while trying to figure out how to feel about this.

"It tastes like…" Arnold hummed, his breath tickling Helga. "What's the best way to describe it… Maybe… honey?"

Helga jolted violently when she could feel Arnold suck on the skin on her neck. She shut her eyes tightly and her stomach clenched.

"No, not honey." Arnold stated matter-of-factly. "How about a little lower."

 _How about no?!_ Helga's mind screamed, but said nothing when Arnold kissed the then skin on her clavicle. _What is he trying to do; give me a heart attack?_

"Strawberry maybe…"

"I—I'm allergic to strawberries!" Helga reminded him, embarrassed at the sound of her own voice. It was uncharacteristically shaky. She didn't like not being in control in this situation. She had no idea how far Arnold was going to go and she felt trapped on the counter.

"Not strawberries then." Arnold muttered before kissing her a bit lower. He was right at the edge of her top and she could have sworn she felt him moaning against her breasts. "I don't know how to describe it… It's just so good… It's so you…"

His voice sounded more and more drunk to Helga. Or maybe her ears were just ringing because of her heartbeat. Her nails were digging into his shirt and she was sure that if he hadn't been drunk, she would be hurting him. He didn't seem to notice anything else around him except her skin and smell. His breathing got deeper with every insistent kiss he placed on her. She could feel his teeth scrape against her skin from time to time as if he wanted to bite her. There was a sense of desperation she hadn't felt before and she didn't know whether to be scared or flattered so she just kept clinging to him.

"Fuck…"

"Arnold!" Helga gasped.

Arnold didn't curse. Never. Not unless he was extremely angry and that was _not_ what he was feeling right then. That breathy curse he had just moaned against Helga's skin was testimony to how far gone he was in his actions. But they would never know how far this would have gotten because someone interrupted them right then.

"Guys, we're gonna pretend we're back in seventh grade and play Truth or Dare. Do you want to join us or—Wow!"

Arnold's eyes were full of hatred while he looked in the direction of his blushing cousin. Arnie stuttered an apology before he left the kitchen, still mumbling until his voice faded. The blondes still left in the kitchen were staring at the now closed door. One of them was embarrassed and the other angry.

"Of course it's Arnie who ruins everything." Arnold muttered hatefully and helped Helga down from the kitchen counter.

"What do you mean?" Helga stammered, still breathing hard from her boyfriend's ministrations.

"He always ruins everything. He was lame when we were kids, but I preferred that to the jerk he is now!"

Helga's blue eyes popped. "Ok, you've had way too much to drink. You're shit-talking your cousin now."

"Because he's a turd."

"Arnold!" Helga scolded. "Look, I don't know what's crawled up your ass and died, but your cousin is finally worth hanging out with. You should be happy about that!"

"I'd rather he'd be the same lame-ass than"—Arnold gestured at Helga—"whatever this is!"

"Why are you pointing at _me_? What did _I_ do?"

"As if you don't know." Arnold scorned and went towards the door.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Helga shouted and ran until she was in front of Arnold, stopping him from leaving the room. "You've been grumpy all day, and you've been a real bitch to your cousin for whatever stupid boy reason. I want to know why. Right now!"

"Great! It's just one thing after another, isn't it!" Arnold complained, throwing his arms out and hitting the wall, but not noticing it. "First he one-ups me over and _over_ again, and now you're defending him?"

"One-up you? When—When has he even done that?! What are you talking about?"

"Oh, Arnie is suddenly so cool!" Arnold said in a high-pitched, obnoxious voice. He kept talking, not noticing the way Helga's face faded into one of understanding. "Arnie can ride a mechanical bull! Arnie is so funny! Arnie is so nimble! Arnie is so exotic!"

"Exotic?"

"You know what I mean!" Arnold yelled and shook his head, trying to steady his eyes. The room really was starting to spin. He focused his eyes on Helga and noticed the odd way she was looking at him. "What?"

"You're jealous." Helga stated numbly. Arnold snorted extra loudly. "Oh, criminy. You actually are."

"I have _nothing_ to be jealous over! He can change all he wants, I'm still the better-looking cousin!" Arnold said, stumbling over his words. "I'm the one who's friends with everyone! Even people I've never even met! I know what I want to do with my life! I'm the one who has a big loving family and am dating the sweetest, most beautiful girl in the world! Why would I have to be jealous?"

Despite Helga's anger, she felt a hint of a blush spread on her cheeks. She didn't speak a word, just kept looking at her boyfriend until he looked uncharacteristically annoyed with her.

"You're not gonna say anything?"

"You didn't ask anything." the sober one of the blondes replied while the drunk one went to sit down on one of the bar stools. "Arnold, you just listed a bunch of very valid reasons for why you shouldn't feel jealous of Arnie."

"I know."

"So why are you jealous?"

"I don't like the way you're so… comfortable with him." Arnold explained, almost calmly, but then felt the anger boil inside him again. "He's always had a thing for you!"

"And a bunch of girls are always flirting with you!"

"That doesn't matter. I've always been in love with _you_!" Arnold yelled while gesturing at Helga who threw out her arms as if she had just proven something. She was clearly trying to make a point, but he disagreed. "It's not the same thing."

"Oh, and how is it different?"

"Our feelings aren't the same." Arnold said and bit his lip thoughtfully. Helga stared at him while he spoke. "I get it. I accepted it a long time ago… that you are never gonna feel the same way about me. And if you did then it wouldn't be as deeply as me. You'll never be as in love with me as I am in you. The level of our feelings will never be the same."

"Level…? You're comparing our feelings for each other to some RPG?"

The monotonous tone in Helga's voice made Arnold look back at her. And that was when he saw that look in his eyes. That look he had never seen before. She was angry, that he could recognize, but there was something else. A sense of hurt and disappointment he had never seen before. And the worst part was that he was the cause of it. He knew it too well and he hated it. But he couldn't help how he felt. He wanted to rise above it, to trust himself and Helga, but ever since Arnie had arrived, it had just been one thing after the other. Every moment since he had arrived had been one of humiliation, jealousy or insecurity. All in one night.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that this was a contest of who loves the other one more."

"Helga—"

"I wasn't aware that when I said yes to dating you that it would turn into a race where I have to keep chasing you until you think I love you enough. I'm trying. I really am trying and you knew that. You said you knew that! I thought you knew that!"

"I do! I—"

"You've been in love with me since always, and I always saw you as a friend. My only _male_ friend. Despite what Bob did to me, my mom and sister, despite Olga's shitty marriage, despite all of those things, I trusted _you_. I had every reason and every right to never look at men with anything but hate, but then there was you. And you're sweet, honest and you… _care_. You care so much. And don't think for one second that I don't know that. Don't you dare think I don't know how much you care for me, and how much you've done for me every single day I've known you. And don't you dare think that… that my feelings for you are weaker than yours are for me just because they aren't the exact same."

Arnold wasn't sure when he had stood up from the barstool, but he was walking towards Helga at this point while she was backing away. When he stopped moving, so did she. The way she looked at him was stiff and emotionless. Those usually kind and mischievous bright blue eyes had turned cold as ice. She turned her back to him and opened the door.

"You want to know why I'm _pretending_ to be comfortable around Arnie?" Helga asked seethingly, not even looking at Arnold over her shoulder. "Because it meant a lot to you that I was."

Helga let the door stand wide open behind her while she jogged towards the front door. She heard her friends' voices call out to her, at first happily, but then in confusion when she walked past them. She barely managed to open the front door before Phoebe and Patty were behind her, trying to keep up with her steps. Gerald watched the girls walk out into the night before he headed for the kitchen, knowing his friends were right behind him.

"Arnold, what—" Gerald spoke before he saw the shining green eyes on his friend's face. Even though he wasn't speaking, he had a sob in his voice. "Oh, no…"

"I fucked up, Gerald. I fucked up again."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: I know it might be hard to sit and read an author's note after this chapter – and this type of ending #sorrynotsorry, but I'm gonna talk a bit about my future fanfictions in this note so please do read.**

 **If you follow me on tumblr, you might already know that I was accepted into my dream school which is a sign language school. For the next three and a half years, I'll be taking a bachelor education as an interpreter. A minimum of 37 hours of my every week will be spent at the school and that isn't counting travel time, homework, eating, sleeping and everything in-between. This of course means that my free time is now way lower than it has been before and that means less time for hobbies.**

 **It's mostly my editing hobby that will suffer from this though. The truth is that editing, while I love it, is a totally useless skill for an interpreter, so whenever I will edit in the next three years, it will be 100%** _ **for my own fun**_ **. Fanfiction though? That's a little different. As an interpreter, at least where I live, it's an important skill to be fast on a keyboard, which I luckily already am. This means that writing stories actually helps me with my education because it keeps my fingers fast and nimble. So while I won't be able to post as often as before, then fanfiction is the hobby I'm going to have to "choose" over editing because writing is beneficial to my career as typing practice. This doesn't mean I won't post videos on YouTube at all, but I won't be able to post nearly as much as I have done till now.**

 **I just wanted to explain why - despite me being able to write again now - I can't go back to posting as often as I did before. I simply won't have as much time to do things for just myself anymore. It's time to get serious about my career ;)**


	17. You're still his person

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **Arnold's cousin Arnie came to Hillwood to celebrate Christmas with the boarding house family. The usually dopey cousin had recently changed though and was quick to make friends with everybody in the class, even Helga. To Arnold, it felt like everything Arnie did made Helga more and more interested in him, and since Arnold never had to deal with jealousy before, he dealt with it poorly.**_

 _ **Drunk or not, Arnold knew he had made a huge mistake when he compared his feelings to Helga's, saying hers weren't on the same level as his were. This resulted in a very bitter argument between the two blondes.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I have officially started sign language school and it's mind-blowing. It's really challenging, but just so much fun. It's demanding a lot of concentration and time so I'm happy if I get to write just 100 words a day honestly xD But hey, a little over a month isn't** _ **too**_ **bad… all things considered xD**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 17: You're still his person

"Who does he think he is?!" Helga hissed while she threw a rock, successfully making it skip across the pond. "Acting as if his feelings are above mine or something! Is this some sort of competition? Like who loves the other one more? I didn't sign up for that! If that's what a relationship is like then no thank you!"

Phoebe and Patty looked at each other, silently asking the other what they should say. By now, everyone in class knew what had happened between Arnold and Helga at Rhonda's party. And there was mixed opinions, which didn't help Arnold or Helga.

"I don't blame you for feeling hurt." Phoebe finally replied.

Helga snorted while flicking a rock on the water harshly. "Hurt? What do you mean by that? You think Arnold could hurt me?" she asked and looked at her friends over her shoulder. They gave her a knowing, skeptical look. Her lips twitched before she threw a final rock at the water. "Stupid Football head."

Helga sat down on the ground which had been ripped of anything green since winter had started. It hadn't begun to snow yet, but Jack Frost was starting to nip on her nose and she wished he'd fuck off. She held her arms as close to her body as her thick coat allowed her to as she watched the water slowly calming down after her attack on it. What cut through the silence was her phone ringing from her bag, which she had left with Phoebe and Patty. She knew who it was so she didn't bother turning around, even when she could hear her friends rummaging through her bag to find her phone.

Patty and Phoebe looked at each other after reading the name on the phone's screen. They looked at Helga expectantly, but she didn't turn around. "Your phone rang." Phoebe stated numbly once it had gone silent.

"It wasn't important."

"How do you know?"

"It was from Arnold."

* * *

"You know, it's not that I'm not happy to just be stinking it up like real men, but, uh, Helga was fun to have around." Zac pointed out before munching on his sandwich.

"Tell me about it." Harold agreed and looked at Arnold who was staring glumly on his own food. "It's a good thing Arnie isn't actually in our class or else this'd be even weirder."

"Why don't you call her over?" Sid suggested.

"She wouldn't come. She still won't answer my calls either. I tried yelling her name during recess, all I got out of that was a teacher thinking I hurt myself." Arnold replied.

"Helga's being as prickly as a cactus!" Curly said and shook his head.

"I like cactuses." Arnold mumbled and slowly let his head fall to the table as he talked. "They're tough and independent."

"This is pathetic." Zac said, unknowing that his twin had just told Helga the same thing over at the girls' table.

"I agree!" Nadine said. "Just call him over. Have him sit with the girls for once. It doesn't always have to be you sitting with the boys."

"No way!" Rhonda disagreed. "If you call him over, you're letting him win. Let him come to you, he's the one who's wrong."

"Is he though?" Lila wondered. The girls looked at her in shock. "Oh, don't get me wrong, Helga, I'm on your side! But… I do understand how Arnold feels. He's finally with you and you're starting to open up more to boys so of course he's gonna start worrying. He's never had to worry about that before. He messed up, yes, but he cares for you ever so much. You know that, right?"

"I do." Helga answered and looked towards the boys. "I wonder if he'd actually sit with us if I asked."

"Try!" Sheena encouraged.

"Oh, sure. You might as well hand him your tits on a plate." Zoey sneered. The girls looked at her in confusion. "If boys can use _balls_ for their dignity, girls can use tits."

"Helga!" Arnold's voice yelled across the cafeteria. "Can you please come over here?"

"If you go over there, you're admitting you're the one who was wrong." Rhonda whispered in a sing-song voice.

Helga's eyebrows furrowed. "Why don't _you_ come over _here_?"

Arnold looked confusedly at Helga. Was that all it would take? For him to join the girls for lunch? He could do that! He could do that easily! And he would have, if Zac hadn't interfered.

"Don't, Arnold." he said, making the blonde boy look at him in bewilderment. "She's testing you."

"Testing him?" Gerald repeated sarcastically.

"Yeah, if you go over there, you won't be apologizing, you'll be groveling."

"I can grovel!" Arnold insisted, but Zac shook his head.

"Then it never ends. She'll keep punishing you until she has your balls on a plate."

Arnold would have said he knew better than to trust anything Zac said. But he couldn't deny that he and Helga had shared some weird bond that he hadn't known about while it was going on. Perhaps Zac might know what he was talking about. Deciding he couldn't possibly make things worse, he tried to do like Zac suggested.

"Can't you just please come over here?" Arnold asked across the room.

"Is he serious?!" Rhonda bellowed in an offended way. "Don't let him win, Helga!"

"Because I'm asking you to come over here!" Helga yelled, but frankly, she didn't want him to come over there anymore. How dared he? He was the one who was supposed to be apologizing, wasn't he? And he was trying to make _her_ come over to him when he could just get off his ass and do it himself?

"You come over here!"

"No, you come over here!"

"You—"

"Arnold!" Gerald interrupted.

"What?" Arnold asked with a frown gracing his features.

"You're starting to sound like Tommy and Maria." He pointed out with clear contempt on his face. Arnold's frown got deeper and he was about to argue against him, but Gerald pointed towards Helga. "You go over there!"

Deciding that he, once again, had taken stupid advice, Arnold did what Gerald told him to do. He got up from his chair and walked towards the girls' table despite noticing that Helga had turned her back to him. The girls either looked at him encouragingly or begrudgingly when he finally approached.

"Um, Helga? Can we please talk? I want to—"

Helga turned around in the chair quickly, stood up and then scouted over Arnold's head. "Hmm, that's weird. I thought I heard a voice, but I can't see anyone." She said thoughtfully and Arnold growled in annoyance. "Was it my imagination? Or is there a guy about 1 inch tall hiding somewhere around here?"

"Ok… I deserved that. Now, please, let me apologize again. I—"

"I'm leaving. I've suddenly lost my appetite." Helga said, ignoring Arnold while she grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

Arnold looked at the other girls. "You don't have to say anything."

"We weren't gonna. We know you know you fucked up. _Again_." Nadine groaned. "You need to fix this, Arnold. She's _really_ pissed."

"How? At this point I'm willing to listen to anyone… Just not Zac. Never again."

"You listened to Zac?"

"I'm desperate."

"Yeah, I can smell it." Rhonda said jokingly. "We can't tell you what to do, Arnold, no matter how much I'd _love_ to. You know Helga better than anyone else."

"That's what worries me… I don't think this is easy for her to forgive." Arnold sighed. "Thanks… I guess I'll just have to keep thinking about what I can do."

"So you're not gonna do something before Christmas?" Sheena asked.

"This _was_ me trying to do something."

"I can't believe you two are still gonna be fighting during Christmas."

"You only have today left, Arnold! We're going on holiday after lunch, and if Helga keeps ignoring your calls—"

"I know! But… maybe she just needs space. I don't know what else to do." He confessed before nodding goodbye at the girls and then returning to the boys. "Happy holidays, you guys. I'm gonna go home."

"Now? Arnold, after lunch we were gonna—"

"I—I know, but… I'm just not in the mood. Sorry." Arnold said apologetically.

"At least eat your lunch first, you haven't eaten a single bite!" Eugene said worriedly, but Arnold was already out of his hearing range. "He didn't lunch yesterday either. He's gonna get sick that way."

"I hope he's eating at home at least." Gerald said worriedly.

* * *

But Arnold didn't eat dinner that day. Nor did he eat the next. He didn't have the desire to, he wasn't even aware that he wasn't eating. He couldn't feel it. All he felt was a sense of numbness and wondering how he managed to mess up the best thing in his life. Everything had been going _so_ well. How did things go from 0 to 100 so fast?

Before he even noticed, Christmas eve was near, and to his dismay, Helga still refused to take his calls. So, he had resorted to texting her just once more, telling her merry Christmas and that he had put her Christmas present in their mailbox. He wondered if it would still be in there once the new year had enrolled, or if he would see her wearing it as a peace offering at the New Year's eve party.

Arnold could hear his family singing Christmas carols, but he didn't register it. It didn't occur to him to join in. And it definitely didn't occur to him to open any of his presents. Arnie had tried to talk to him, he could remember that. He had asked about Helga, wondering what was going on between them. Arnold hadn't answered, but something told him that he actually knew the gist of it already. His family knew about it at least and he assumed they had told Arnie about it as well. Before this, Arnie didn't even know he and Helga were dating. Arnold had no idea what Arnie thought of the situation or if he was thinking about it at all.

Before it'd be time for dinner, Arnold went to his room just so he could be alone for a bit, but he barely got to do so before someone knocked. He could hear it was Arnie talking.

"Arnold, can I come in?"

Arnold wanted to say no, and he wanted his voice to boom so loudly that it'd blow the door off its hinges. But he knew it was time to talk to his cousin about the situation. Frankly, he wasn't even sure how much Arnie knew. So, Arnold told him yes and watched while the gazelle entered the fallen lion's den.

Arnie sat on Arnold's bed, across of him. "I'm sorry about all this."

"Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong."

"Kinda feels like I did." Arnie said with a crooked smile. "I thought I was getting along with everyone, even Helga, but now she doesn't even want to talk to me."

Arnold let his head fall. "I'm sorry. That's my fault."

"So, it _was_ you she was talking about?"

Arnold's head raised. "You two talked about me?"

"Sorta." Arnie said, making the symbolic gesture. "I asked Helga if she wanted to go see the Ronnie Matthews Christmas concert with me. She knew it was gonna be just as friends, but—"

"What? How did you even get tickets to that?" Arnold asked disheartened. He had been trying to get tickets for that concert since last year, but to no luck.

"One of my dad's friends was planning to take his girlfriend, but she broke up with him and then he gave me the tickets." He replied, shrugging sympathetically. "Anyways, I know she loves him so I asked her and she said that she'd love to, but if she went with me someone would get really hurt. I'm guessing she meant you?"

"She missed out on the chance to go to a Ronnie Matthews concert… for my sake? When did you ask her?" Arnold asked, feeling incredibly guilty. Helga couldn't care less about any celebrities other than Ronnie Matthews, so for her to say no that opportunity was shocking. He assumed it must have been before their fight.

"Right before you went on holiday I think. On the same day actually."

"What?!" Arnold shouted, unable to hide his shock. "Why would she… I mean, she's pissed at me and for good reason! Why would she—"

"You don't stop caring about someone just because you're mad at them." Arnie interrupted. "I kinda… I kinda have feelings for someone back home, but we had a fight before I left. But I still care. That hasn't changed."

Arnold looked thoughtfully at his cousin. "Yeah? Who's the lucky girl?"

Arnie made a short laughed and started scratching the back of his neck. "Um… maybe I'll tell you someday. For now, I'd rather keep it to myself. Is that ok?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, of course." Arnold answered and forced his curiosity to go away. "But I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything."

Arnie smiled brightly. "I know. And you'll be the first one I tell. Well, except for Helga, she already knows." He pointed out. "Or she figured it out."

"Yeah, she's always had a knack for figuring out people. Most of the time anyway."

"I kinda want her to tell you instead of me." Arnie chuckled awkwardly. "Saves me the weird conversation."

"Ok, you can't just keep saying stuff like that. I'm gonna die from curiosity."

"Then die."

"Harsh!"

The two boys laughed together, for the first time in what felt like forever. The laughter subsided when Phil called the boys down for the Christmas dinner. Arnold couldn't help but check his phone just once more. His face immediately went sluggish and it didn't go unnoticed to Arnie.

"You have to eat _something_ , ok?"

Arnold gave a halfhearted smile, but despite feeling a bit better, his thoughts had drifted straight back to Helga. And they stayed there through dinner.

Arnold was picking at his food, still refusing to eat. If he had thought about it, he would have realized that he couldn't remember the last time he ate. And maybe that would have worried him. But not right then. He was picking at his food, considering going to Helga's place as a last desperate attempt, when his ears picked up on someone saying her name.

"When will Helga come home, Arnold?" Phil asked, trying to get his grandson to say something to him for the first time in days. It didn't work.

"Uh, I think Helga said she'd by home on the 26th or something." Arnie answered on Arnold's behalf.

"Right." Phil said, frowning.

"Um, where did she go anyway?" Stella tried, but Arnold still didn't say a word, even though he was clearly listening now.

"To visit some of Miriam's family I think." Miles replied curtly, clearly growing annoyed. Stella gave him a patient look, silently asking him not to say what he clearly wanted to say. "Have you heard from her?"

Stella kicked Miles under the table.

Arnold shook his head, and hoped that would be the end of the topic. But he was never that lucky.

"Well, I hope you won't continue being glued to your phone for the rest of the holiday."

"If he wants to wait for Helga to call him, let him." Phil said in a calm voice, but his eyes had daggers in them. Stella and Gertie looked at each other, a silent conversation about how they were hoping their husbands wouldn't start fighting on Christmas eve. Stella's opinion of Helga may be the same as Miles' was and Gertie's was the same as Phil's, but neither were interested in starting a huge discussion. Again.

But the men didn't agree on that unfortunately.

"Arnold shouldn't spend his holiday waiting for that girl to answer him. If she calls she'll call. Until then, please just hang out with your cousin and your friends."

"He also shouldn't force himself to do something he doesn't want to do. If he wants to talk to Helga, he should keep trying!"

"To call her over and over again like some lovesick school girl isn't gonna make her talk to him anyway!"

"Would you please stop?" Arnie asked and looked worriedly at Arnold who was chewing on his lip.

Stella sighed. "Arnold, dear? You know that your dad is just trying to help, right?"

"By doing what?" her son finally spoke, but kept looking down at his plate.

"By"—Stella stuttered unsurely—"By encouraging you to just… move on."

That made Arnold's eyes meet his mother's. "Move on…? You're saying I should just forget her?"

"No, I didn't mean it so bluntly—"

"But you _are_ saying I should move on? Just give up and forget that I've been in love with her my whole life? Seriously?"

"Arnold, you have to admit that she's hurt you a lot—"

"So have you two!" Arnold yelled. "You hurt me when you left me as a kid! You hurt me when you didn't return until I came to get you by searching for you through a freaking jungle! And you keep hurting me by never really giving Helga a chance! Didn't you accept our relationship a few weeks ago? Was that just empty words?!"

"Arnold, please calm down." Stella begged.

"You are being way out of line." Miles added.

"So are you!" Arnold retorted and stood up from the table. "Helga has been walking on eggshells around you two ever since you came back, trying to get you to like her and that wasn't for her own sake! She couldn't care less if any of you like her! But she did it _for me_. She has done so many things just for my sake, and it's not fair that you're not even trying to see that!"

Stella and Miles looked at each other, not noticing Arnold swaying. They sighed and looked back at him, and he grabbed the table to keep himself steady. "Arnold." they both started.

"We are still so sorry that we left you." Miles said.

"But we didn't want to, you know that, right? We had to save the Green-Eyed people. They have saved our lives so many times! We wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for them. _You_ wouldn't be here." Stella continued.

"I get that! But you can't just expect me to do, and agree with, everything you do!" Arnold shouted and then grabbed at his head.

Last time he checked, he had two parents. Not four.

"We're not expecting that!" Stella insisted. "But we'd like to think you'd trust us sometimes. Helga hurts you all the time."

"So do you." Arnold insisted, willing his legs to stop shaking. "When you talk badly about Helga, that hurts me. And it hurts me even more because she's one of the reasons I even found you. That I dared go on a journey, risking my life to save you. And she did the same thing. Why doesn't that matter to you at all?"

"Of course it matters." Miles argued. "But you can't let one good deed—"

"She's done plenty of good deeds! Just cause you're too blind to see them, you… you—" Arnold tried grabbing at his chair, but it wobbled under his shivering hands and he fell.

"Arnold!"

* * *

Far away from Hillwood, Helga was sleeping a restless sleep in her bed. Like Arnold, she kept thinking about their fight, but her subconscious had taken it in a completely different direction. Never had she had a dream like this, a dream she could feel deep within her body despite being in total REM sleep. She could feel her pulse in her throat, the tickle run over her body and the sweat dripping down her skin. Her knuckles were turning white from gripping onto the sheets as tightly as she was. Her hips were moving on their own and she was gasping in her sleep.

It was the ringtone from Helga's phone that woke her up from the unfamiliar type of dream. She opened her eyes with a mix of a moan and a gasp caused by the sudden change of situation. She kept staring at the strange ceiling above her for a few seconds before she grabbed her phone.

"Phoebe, are you out of your mind? It's in the middle of the night! But you know, I just had the most fucked up dream."

"Arnold's in the hospital."

"I was… with Arnold…" Helga's sentence hung unfinished in the air while she processed her friend's words. "Hos… Hos-what?"

"Hospital. Arnold's in the hospital." Phoebe repeated, a bit out of breath. "But it's not—"

Helga left her phone on the bed and jumped out of it, not listening to Phoebe anymore. She ran out of her room and down the stairs, causing her sister and brother-in-law to walk out of the living room. They watched her in shock while she grabbed her coat and tried to slip it over her pajamas, but her hurry made the coat keep slipping out her hands.

"For fuck's sake!"

"Baby sister, what's going on?" Olga asked worriedly, trying to grab the frantic blonde's shoulder, but to no luck.

"Arnold's in the hospital. I'm taking your car."

"What!" Olga bellowed in shock and grabbed her husband's collar. "Darling, you have to drive her there. She's in no condition to drive right now."

"Sure." Robert replied immediately.

"You'd better drive fast." Helga snorted and threw Robert's coat at him.

After a quick kiss goodbye, Olga promised to tell the rest of the family about what had happened and then Robert and Helga took off. The car ride was in total silence, with Robert doing his best to both drive fast and carefully in the dark of the night, and Helga staring out the window. She was biting on her thumb and you'd be able to see the teeth marks on her skin for quite a while.

After what felt like years, Helga and Robert arrived at Hillwood hospital. Helga jumped out of the car, leaving Robert behind to find a parking spot. Or whatever he wanted to do, she couldn't care less. After asking for Arnold's room number, Helga didn't bother with the elevators. She jumped every three steps until she was out of breath, but at least on the right floor. It didn't take her long to find the right door, she could recognize some voices down the hallway.

"Arnold!" Helga screamed at the top of her lungs before she punched the door open. "I'm here! What the hell—"

Helga stopped talking when she saw a sight she hadn't been expecting; Arnold was sitting upwards on a hospital bed, staring at her in genuine shock. He had a few tubes attached to him here and there, but besides that, he was conscious and totally aware that she had just barged in. Around him was his parents, grandparents, Arnie, Gerald and Phoebe. They were all staring at her like she had two heads.

"What the hell? He seems fine. Why are you fine?" Helga stuttered, gesturing wildly at him.

"You didn't let me tell you what was wrong." Phoebe pointed out and Helga gave her an angry look that reveal her thoughts completely, so Phoebe started talking in her usual, teacher-like voice. "Sleep deprivation as well as added pressure lead him malnourished. If he eats properly and gets plenty of rest, he should be just fine."

"Mal… nourished… You weren't eating?" Helga asked in a voice totally lacking any sort of emotion.

Arnold shrunk back in his pillow, knowing what was coming. He nodded anyway. They all watched as Helga walked towards him, the room in total silent anticipation. Once she was right next to him, they looked each other in the eyes for a moment.

Then Helga lifted her hand and slapped Arnold.

While Stella and Miles' jaws dropped in shock, the others simply flinched. The slap echoed in the room and Arnold sighed from the sting. He looked back up at Helga, opening his arms just in time for her to fall into his embrace.

"I'm sorry."

"Why is _he_ apologizing?" Miles asked in shock. "What was that even supposed to be?!"

"A love declaration." Phil answered his son, while smiling secretly at his wife. "Let's give them some space."

"I'm not leaving my son with her after she just slapped him!"

"She won't hurt him."

"She already did!"

Despite their complaining, Stella and Miles were ushered outside and soon followed by the others. Arnold and Helga were alone for the first time since the fight and neither knew what to say. So Helga said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm cold." she stated bluntly, crawled into the bed and Arnold put the covers over her. They stayed like that for a long moment until she decided to add to her former statement.

"I'm not wearing shoes."

"You put on a coat, but not shoes?"

"Shut up."

Arnold chuckled for a moment, letting his chin rest on her head. "Don't tell me you left your family without a word?"

"No, Olga and Robert saw me running down the stairs. Olga promised to explain tomorrow."

"You were running?"

"Arnold, I am shoe-less. Of course I was running." Helga snorted, but her voice grew somber again. "That was the longest drive in my whole life."

"I'm sorry—"

"You'd better be. Robert had to drive me."

"Oh, that couldn't have been fun."

"Honestly… I couldn't care less. My mind was somewhere else." Helga replied, holding him tighter for emphasis. "If you do this to me again, I'll kill you."

"I'll try."—He was given the eyes of death from Helga—"I definitely won't do this again." He corrected quickly.

"Good."

Arnold looked over Helga's face. It was red from the cold and she had deep bags under her eyes. He couldn't imagine what it must have been like in her shoes, not knowing what to expect when she'd walk into the room. He knew if it had been the other way around, he would have lost his mind.

"Helga, I really am so sorry. Not just for this, but for everything."—Helga started shaking her head—"No, seriously, listen—"

Arnold was silenced when Helga pulled him into a kiss, a different type than the one he was used to. He had felt the desperate passion, and the nervous anxiety before, but he had never felt something so undeniably filled with love. He closed his eyes, put his hand to her neck and pulled her closer. She nestled against him without any apprehension, like a kitten would. They kept pecking each other for a few minutes, basking in the unquestionable sensation of being home. When they let go of each other, they were both breathing heavily even though the kiss had been so sober.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's skip the apologies and explanations." Helga insisted and snuggled against Arnold again. "Fuck, I'm tired."

Arnold snorted. "I can imagine."

"Phoebe woke me up from some… dream-mare."

"A dream-mare?"

"A dream or a nightmare, I'm not sure."

"Want to talk about it?"

A hurricane of images flooded Helga's brain. "Absolutely fucking not!" she answered loudly, her face turning deep red. Arnold stared at her in shock. "Not… right now anyway. Maybe someday."

Arnold didn't believe that, but now that they had finally made up, he couldn't care less about some dream-mare as Helga had called it. She was back in his arms; that was all that mattered.

"I need to apologize to Arnie too." she changed the subject. "I started ignoring him when all the drama started."

"Yeah, he said you didn't want to go to a Ronnie Matthews concert with him." Arnold remembered, unable to hide the smirk on his face.

Helga sat up and pointed at his face. "Don't get cocky. I just didn't want to add fuel to the fire. I didn't do it for your sake or anything." She insisted, but he knew her too well to believe it. No matter the drama, Helga would never miss out on that kind of opportunity.

"Whatever you say, Angel."

"That's right. Whatever _I_ say, Football Head." She agreed and snuggled into the crook of his neck. "Has Arnie said anything about me ignoring him?"

"Sort of. He also said you know something about him I don't?"

"Oh, um, not my secret to tell, Arnold."

"He said he'd prefer if you told me actually."

Helga lifted her head. "Yeah?" she made certain before giving a thoughtful look. She truly believed Arnie should say this himself, but if he preferred that she did it, she was happy to. Deciding that Arnold probably hadn't misunderstood him or anything, she replied.

"He's gay."

Arnold blinked a few times. "Oh! Really?"—Helga nodded—"Huh. Why couldn't he tell me that himself?"

"You and I are the only ones who know, Arnold. He's taking it slow. Only reason I know is because I figured it out myself."

"How?"

"You don't wanna know." The blonde said, wiggling her eyebrows meaningfully.

"I still wonder why Arnie wouldn't tell me this himself."

"Are you jealous of _me_ this time?" Helga asked in disbelief.

Arnold scratched his head. "A bit, I guess. I'm happy for him, but I would like to be there for him. Especially since I've been such a sucky cousin lately."

Helga sighed and sat up. "Football head, except for this whole thing, you've always been the best cousin for Arnie. You were one of the only people who never let him creep you out when we were kids. You were always on his side, and he knows and remembers that. Don't worry, you're still his person."

"His person?"

"Yeah, you know, the person you can go to with anything."

Arnold thought for a moment. "Aren't I _your_ person?"

Helga flicked his forehead. "'Course you are, but you're Arnie's too. And Gerald's. And so on." She explained and lied back down.

"How come you're so… ok with it though?"

"With Arnie being gay? Why wouldn't I be?"

Arnold tried to find the right words. "Cause men?" was all he could come up with.

"Hey, if guys stay away from my ass, I'm a happy camper. Except that I hate camping with a burning passion." Helga joked. "Besides, Big Al is gay too, and I love him, you know that."

"I never thought I'd hear you say those words about a man."

"I don't mean it in that way!"

"Hopefully not." Arnold chuckled, his cheerful smile reaching his eyes. Once he stopped laughing, he noticed Helga glancing at him with a thoughtful look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I missed you." The blonde answered after a moment's hesitation.

Helga might as well have clenched his heart. "I missed you more."

"Ugh, no, we're _not_ becoming that couple."

"I was just stating a fact!"

"Are you competing with me again?"

"What? N—No! I didn't mean it like—"

"I know, you big idiot." Helga interrupted, smirking.

"Not ok!" Arnold complained while throwing his arms around Helga's, both of them laughing happily. He tickled her for a moment, but she told him to stop for his own sake. They breathed heavily for a moment before he smiled earnestly. "I really did miss you."

"You big dope." Helga said, sticking out her tongue at him. "I won't repeat myself."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Whew! The drama has ended… for now. We're not even halfway through this story, so there's plenty more to come! Stay tuned and stay patient! My education comes first and learning not just a new language, but a whole different communication form takes a lot out of you xD**


	18. Sausage and eggs

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **After the fight between herself and Arnold, Helga refused to speak to him, which led to Arnold becoming so depressed that he forgot to eat and eventually collapsed. Helga, being far away from Hillwood to celebrate Christmas with her family, was asleep and having what she would consider a very disturbing dream, when Phoebe called her to tell her Arnold was in the hospital.**_

 _ **Olga's husband drove Helga to the hospital only for her to discover that her boyfriend's situation wasn't nearly as fatal as she had thought. When she found out he himself was the cause of the entire situation, her feelings welled up and she slapped him. Even though no one else but Phil and Gertie understood it, they did understand that Helga and Arnold were about to make up and left the blondes alone to talk it out.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I, uh… experimented quite a bit in this chapter with my writing style and… "the atmosphere" in a certain scene. You'll know what scene when you get there, if you know my way of writing a little bit at least xD I think what "inspired" this way of writing that particular scene was probably the fact that I was writing it while being at my dad's place, so his presence affected me xD**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 18: Sausage and eggs

"Everything settled, Short man?"

Arnold looked around. The rooftop was decorated with fairy lights and yellow Chinese lanterns. A boom box was neatly placed near the stone fence, playing some mainstream 'Murica music appropriate for New Year's eve. The buffet was a few feet away from it, different appetizers and some light alcohol placed around the table. Arnold knew that Helga was going to bring some more hardcore alcohol, but this way he could at least pretend he had tried to keep the alcohol intake low tonight.

"Yeah, think so. Thanks for the help, grandpa."

"No problem, Short man. I hope you kids have fun."

"Where are you adults going?" Arnold asked jokingly.

"Circle theater, Short man. That's where all us old coots go!" Phil said in a gnarly voice, before cackling.

"Have fun."

Arnold followed his grandpa into his room. When he left, Arnold went to his closet. He was in a vest-type of mood, so he put on a white dress shirt, a gray vest with a black tie and black pants. He considered his hair for a moment before deciding upon sleeking it back. Remembering how much Helga hated hair products, he used as little as possible.

 _I'm so whipped_ , Arnold thought, but with a wide smile on his face. _Well, if I'm gonna be whipped anyway, I'm glad it's by Helga._

Hearing some voices above him, he knew some of his friends were arriving by the fire escape. He figured that would mean it were some of the boys, since most of the girls wore heels and wouldn't dream of climbing the ladder like that. Not that he blamed them, they seem difficult to walk with in general. He readjusted his tie and crawled up to join his guests.

It didn't take long before the party was in full swing. Arnold had invited most of the teens around the neighborhood, as per usual, so he got to talk to people he hadn't talked to in a while, like Iggy and Lorenzo. He was so busy mingling that he didn't notice Helga arriving with Rhonda and Nadine. If he had, he would have wondered why she was even with them to begin with. Usually, she would have arrived alone or with Phoebe and Patty, but Nadine and Rhonda had shanghaied her this time around. And her outfit made that obvious.

"I hate everything about the way I look."

"Don't say that about my masterpiece." Rhonda whined. "You said you wanted to try something new, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but I didn't mean I wanted to look like a bimbo."

"You look _hot_!"

"And I hate that." Helga groaned and tried to pull her dress further down her thighs, but to no success.

"Come on, make an effort."

"Making an effort shouldn't mean to change who you are."

"It's too late now anyway." Nadine said and put an encouraging hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Just try and make the best of it. You really do look great."

"I'm gonna get hammered." The blonde stated matter-of-factly and wiggled her bottle of rum for effect.

Rhonda rolled her eyes before dragging Nadine towards some of the other girls, leaving Helga behind to grumble. She leaned up against the railing, taking a big swig of the rum. She hissed for a moment, the familiar taste burning her throat. It had been a while since her last drink.

"Hey, babe. What has 30 teeth and is holding back a monster?"

"Someone _else's_ zipper.." Helga retorted without a second thought and turned to see who the pig was. "Oh, shocker. The biggest pig I know."

"Helga?!" Sid shouted in shock before his mouth was covered by a pair of hands.

"Why don't you try and keep your mouth shut for once?"

Sid swatted Helga's hands away. "You look _hot_! Arnold is gonna love it."

"Problem is he's not the only one."

"Imma go get him!" Sid declared and ran off.

"And he's gone."

"Helga?" Phoebe's sweet voice asked behind the blonde. She turned around and saw both Phoebe and Gerald looking at her. "Wow, you look beautiful. Like a real lady!"

"I look more like the tramp. Or what do you think, Tall hair boy?"

"I think Arnold is gonna—"

"He's gonna love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Actually, I think he'll—"

"Where are you taking me, Sid?" Arnold's voice interrupted.

Sid was currently leading him towards Helga, covering his eyes. "To your New Year's eve present!"

Helga visibly cringed at being referred to as a present. She pulled her dress down once more, just in time before Sid let Arnold open his eyes. The green eyes blinked a few times before they brightened at the sight of Helga.

"Helga! Your hair, it's curled!" he exclaimed in excitement. She often wore her hair in a ponytail, but he had never seen it curled. It was a completely new look and it was fun to see her like that. "And you're wearing makeup? Your eyes are sparkling. And your dress is—wow."

The _wow_ had been said in a much different tone than the rest of the sentence. Arnold's expression changed completely as his eyes traveled over Helga's body. She was wearing a simple black dress with thick straps over her shoulders and a sweetheart neckline, but it was the length of it that caught her boyfriend's eyes. The last time he saw that much of her thighs, was when she had been trying on that negligee.

"Why are you wearing that?" Arnold asked without thinking first.

If it had been any other girl, she might have been insulted, but not Helga. "It was the princess' idea, not mine." She hissed and handed her bottle to Phoebe.

"Helga, is that you?" Harold asked, approaching with the rest of the gang.

"That's quite a dress!" Stinky commented with a goofy grin.

"You mean it's _barely_ a dress." Helga retorted.

"You're almost as fine as my sweet cheeks! _Almost_ being the important part." Curly complimented, making goo-goo eyes at Rhonda who rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, the girl got hot!" Sid laughed and that was the last drop to Arnold.

"What the—" Helga stuttered when he took her hand and led her towards the skylight. He jumped down, taking her with her.

"What just happened?" Sheena asked in confusion.

"I knew he'd hate it." Gerald replied, smirking at his girlfriend who had seen it coming as well.

Inside his room, Arnold had let go of Helga and subjected himself to rummaging through his closet. "You look great."

"O… k?"

"No, seriously, you really do. I don't want you to misunderstood what I'm doing."

"I'd need to know what you're doing before I can misunderstand what you're doing."

"I… I don't like the thought of other people seeing you like that." Arnold confessed and turned around, showing the wild look in his eyes. "Did you see the way Sid was ogling you?"

"I think the fucking aliens could see it." Helga said with horror in her voice.

"You're uncomfortable with it too, right?"

"Yes, I—"

"So, this is ok." Arnold stated, clearly transcended into a world of his own. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Helga quirked one of her dark eyebrows. "Are you being possessive?"

"Yes!" Arnold admitted before he could stop himself. "I'm being possessive and I'm sorry, but I just—"

Before the frantic teen could continue his apology, a slender hand was placed on his neck and it pulled him into a passionate kiss by its owner. He gasped at the sudden contact, but settled into the familiar feeling quickly. The feeling of her fingers lightly pressing into his skin blew his mind. She would usually wrap her arms over his shoulders, he couldn't remember her ever touching him like this, but it was a very welcome notion.

They separated with a sigh, and Helga showed a knowing smile. "It's fine with me if it means that I won't have to wear _this_." she decided and approached the closet.

Arnold let himself finish his shivering before he responded. "I don't know what to lend you though."

"I have an idea. Give me the white shirt."

Arnold was about to help her put it on, but she turned her back to him. He only got to be confused for about two seconds before she pulled the straps from her dress down and exposed her back to him. Despite his shock, he held the shirt for her while she snuck her arms into the sleeves. Once her arms were covered, she pulled the dress down until her thighs were fully covered and then she tied the shirt around her stomach, hiding the straps of the dress so it looked like she was wearing a pencil skirt.

"Smart." Arnold praised in a voice with a much higher pitch than usual. He coughed awkwardly while Helga smiled at him over her shoulder.

"You know I am." She joked and turned around to show off her handiwork. "I feel a lot more like me now. Minus the freaking glitter."

"It's very New Year's Eve though."

"And that's the only reason why I'll accept it." Helga retorted and flipped her ponytail.

Arnold looked at her hair once more, admiring the curls. "You know, the curls do suit you." He commented and looked a bit closer. "And I see you got my present."

Helga smiled while touching the pink pearls which decorated her ponytail. "Why would you buy me a pearl necklace though?"

"Because it's pink and I knew you could be creative with it."

"Well, it was perfect to make the ponytail extra fun." Helga snickered. "Wanna go back and join the others?"

 _Not really_ , Arnold thought, but kept that confession inside his mind and followed his girlfriend up on the rooftop.

"What did you do?!" Rhonda's shrill voice shouted.

"I let myself get more comfortable in my own skin. I'm technically still wearing the dress." Helga pointed out.

"But you're not sexy anymore."

"I think she's still pretty hot." Sid interfered, earning a glare from Arnold. "But like, not so that I wanna stare at her or anything."

"That was the goal." The blonde happily commented.

"I'm standing next to a poor excuse for a girl." Rhonda sighed.

"And I'm standing next to a poor excuse for a—"

"Ok!" Arnold interrupted, laughing. "Come on, guys. Let's just enjoy the evening, ok?"

"I give up!" Rhonda shouted dramatically. "I throw out my hands and jut out my hip."

"That sounded like a joke I'd make." Helga pointed out and did the posture Rhonda described before.

"Oh, the horror!"

"Let's get this party started!" Helga yelled, stole the bottle of rum from Phoebe's hand and took a swig.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Sid yelled and started chanting. "Chug, chug, chug!"

* * *

"Chug, chug, chug!"

Arnold was put down from the keg stand and he bowed dramatically. And clumsily, since this was his third keg stand that evening, plus the water he had been drinking with the food to keep the intoxication to a minimum.

It wasn't working very well.

It was New Year's Eve after all, there was this unspoken rule that it had to be the party of the year, the one night where you let loose and went crazy. Arnold loved New Year's Eve for that reason. He usually kept calm and tried not to go crazy at most parties. But tonight, he was at home and it was New Year's Eve. He had no reason to hold back, at least this one night. And he wasn't going to.

Arnold stumbled over to his girlfriend and picked her up. She squealed while he carried her to the keg to make her drink from it. The others laughed while she clapped at his thigh, asking him to put her down. He placed her on the floor gently, laughing hysterically while she pulled him down with her.

"No more keg stands for you!" Gerald laughed.

"Fine!" Helga agreed and pulled Arnold with her. "Dance with me, Football Head."

"Fine, but no stepping on my feet!"

"Same to you! You have two left feet!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"I'll prove I don't!"

"Bring it!"

And bring it, he did. Arnold had no idea what he was doing 99% of the time he was dance battling Helga, but neither did she. It was fun and that was all that mattered. Even when their little competition was over, with no winner crowned, they continued dancing. They started slow-dancing, mostly because they were a little tired after the intense dance battle.

Arnold was the first to liven back up and swung Helga under his arm. "What did you say about having two left feet?"

"Even someone with two left feet can swing their arm." Helga retorted and twirled around Arnold. "But you're doing splendid, good sir."

"Why, thank you, milady." The boy replied elegantly, causing the girl to laugh. He pulled her into a more proper dancing pose and gently swayed from side to side with her. "This is the first time we're dancing like this since Rhonda's class party."

"It still feels a little stiff."

"Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle." Arnold sang playfully while shaking his hips.

The blonde girl laughed heartily. "Yeah, that makes this less weird."

"It's not that weird, is it?"

"No… guess not." Helga answered and smiled genuinely.

An urge overcame Arnold, one he'd usually ignore, but the alcohol made him brave. He pulled Helga close to him until their stomachs were pressed together and kept swaying. Helga looked surprised for a brief moment, but kept smiling.

"There's that bold kid everyone knows and loves." She teased.

"I can get a lot bolder than this."

"Oh?" Helga doubted, silently challenging him.

Arnold considered his next to move before deciding upon twirling Helga under his arm and letting her back rest against his chest.

Helga snorted. "We were standing like this on the train to the Ronnie Matthews concert too, this isn't new."

"Yes, it is." Arnold insisted and let his chin rest on her shoulder. "You were really uncomfortable back then."

"Still kind of am."

"No, you're not."

"Excuse me?"

"I know you, Helga, I know when you're uncomfortable and this isn't it." Arnold insisted, turning his mouth closer to her ear so she could hear him over the music without him yelling. "I make you nervous, but not uncomfortable."

Helga twisted her body so she could look at the boy behind her. "How the hell do you know that?"

"I know _you_ , Angel."

The nickname made Helga shiver, and she chuckled awkwardly. "Whatever you say, Football Head."

"That's a pretty big promise coming from you."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it."

"I wouldn't dare." Arnold joked back.

The music increased its speed and so did the blonde couple. The intimacy was forgotten for a moment, but that didn't mean the flirting was over. Every chance he got, Arnold would make a move or a comment that would make Helga embarrassed or excited, sometimes both. The alcohol was making them both braver and it didn't take long before Helga was starting to remember the dreams she had been having ever since the night she and Arnold had made up. She wasn't dreaming about drowning anymore, but these dreams were a different kind of disturbing. She still hadn't talked to anyone about it, not even Dr. Bliss. And now she wished she had because the feeling was reappearing, but this time she was awake.

"You _are_ making me nervous." Helga confessed so suddenly that the person in question stopped dancing to look at her. "You've done that before, but… not like this."

The corner of Arnold's mouth lifted into a crooked smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah…" Helga reaffirmed and looked towards the others. "Did you mean to lead us so far away?"

Arnold looked in the same direction, noticing how far away they were from everybody else. "I… honestly didn't notice."

"Uh-huh."

"I didn't!"

"Sure." Helga prolonged the word in a knowing tone.

"I really didn't!" Arnold insisted, laughing. "But I'm not complaining."

"Me neither." Helga answered honestly, but then coughed. "I mean, we're close to midnight and the whole New Year's Eve kissing is weird in front of other people anyway."

"Uh-huh." Arnold replied in disbelief, earning a rude gesture from his girlfriend. "What kind of nervous?"

"What?"

"You said I make you nervous, but I don't get what way." He lied through his pearly white teeth. He knew what kind of nervous, he just wanted to hear her say it. And she knew that.

"Like… it feels weird to look into your eyes…" Helga started, earning an encouraging smile from Arnold. "Or that I might say something stupid… and my heartbeat actually hurts right now."

Arnold couldn't help himself; he instantly got the urge to lean down and listen to her heartbeat. So he did. Helga squealed in embarrassment from feeling the head against her chest so suddenly. She put her hands to his cheek, giggling awkwardly while he listened to her heartbeat.

"Yeah, it really is going really fast."

"Really-really?" Helga asked mockingly.

Arnold chuckled and leaned up to cup Helga's cheeks in his hands. "Want to hear mine?" he asked, but pulled her head down to his chest before she could answer.

Helga listened to the rapid heartbeat for a moment. "Very nice." She joked and leaned back up.

"Ready, everybody? There's 20 seconds till midnight. Find a smooching partner!" Gerald yelled across the rooftop and grabbed a giggling Phoebe by her waist.

"Got her!" Arnold said goofily and wrapped his arms around Helga, trapping her in his embrace.

"Oh, no. _I_ got _you_!" the girl corrected and threw her own arms up until they were free to wrap themselves around their partner.

People started counting and the blondes joined in. Right before it chimed midnight, their lips met. People were shooting off fireworks and wishing a happy new year while the blondes remained in their own little bubble. The sounds of other people was dull in comparison to listening to the other's breathing. They weren't sure for how long they kept kissing only that they didn't know what happened in-between that and when the guests had left. Whether that was due to a blackout or a total lack of interest, they didn't know.

At around 3am, Arnold and Helga had said goodbye to their friends and tumbled into Arnold's bed. He covered himself and his giggling girlfriend with the duvet, feeling more than content being able to do such a simple task.

"Sing me a lullaby." Helga demanded suddenly.

"A lullaby?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine, but… remember I'm no Dino Spumoni." He pointed out a bit shyly and cleared his throat. " _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…_ "

Helga giggled happily and snuggled closer to her singer. Her smile fell through when he sang a particular line and she stopped him from continuing. "Don't sing that one. It's sad. No one is taking me away anyway."

Arnold chuckled and kissed her head. "Um… _I pray for all your love. Girl, our love is so unreal. I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you. Somebody, pinch me_."

"I don't know that one." Helga mumbled thoughtfully.

"It's, uh… kinda always reminded me of you." Arnold confessed and Helga immediately nudged at him to make him continue. " _This is something like a movie, and I don't know how it ends, girl, but I fell in love with my best friend_."

"Cheeseball." Helga muttered tiredly before she drifted off.

" _Your_ cheeseball." Arnold yawned, tangled their limbs and fell asleep himself.

* * *

Helga woke up a few hours later, needing to go to the bathroom. She had stumbled down the stairs, groggy and still drunk, but managed to do her business and then crawl back into bed with Arnold. She had been planning to go straight back to sleep, but something was poking at her thigh. She tried nudging it away with her thigh, but it just bounced back.

"Stupid Abner. I should make sausage links out of you." Helga hissed, expecting to see Arnold's very old pet pig under the duvet. What she saw wasn't Abner, but something other people may compare to a sausage as well.

At first, Helga wasn't even sure what she was looking at. She looked back at Arnold who was still sleeping peacefully and then back at the bulge near his legs. She put the duvet down, staring into the darkness thoughtfully. Maybe it was because she still had alcohol in her system, but it took her a few seconds too long to realize what was going on in Arnold's pants.

Helga wasn't naïve, she knew what it was once she had realized. What she didn't understand was why. It couldn't have been because she was sleeping next to him, right? Maybe he was dreaming something. But what was he dreaming then? Something like what she had been dreaming? Or something else entirely? Maybe she wasn't even a part of this dream. Maybe he wasn't a part of it either. Maybe life just wasn't what she thought it was. Maybe she should go to bed and just put her leg somewhere else.

Then again…

When was Helga ever gonna get this kind of opportunity again? It had been in the back of her mind since she had first felt it back in the empty classroom. But it had truly been in the _back_ of her mind, and she hadn't considered indulging in these new curiosities. She was too embarrassed at the idea of having Arnold watch her, or do anything else while she was doing this, intimidated her. But that was why it was so tempting to indulge right now. The guy was asleep. But who knew how long that would last? He had been drinking so maybe he was sleeping lighter than usual, but frankly, Helga had never noticed if Arnold was a light sleeper under the influence. But usually…

He was a deep sleeper.

The mere thought of just going ahead and doing this gave her a sensation of hormones being overproduced in her system. It also gave her the sensation that perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe she could just pass out and then she wouldn't have to make the choice at all. Her pulse was definitely on the verge of being at the same level as whenever she saw a rat. Not that Arnold's junk reminded her of rats. She hoped it wouldn't remind her of rats once she saw it.

She realized she had called it _once_ she saw it rather than _if_ and that clearly meant she had made her decision.

After one last look at her sleeping boyfriend, she put her hand on his thigh. She looked at him once more, confirming that he was still sleeping and then moved her hand towards what felt like a hill she wanted to climb one day. Since she had never climbed a hill before, she couldn't really say how big this one was… but it felt big. To her, at least.

Why was her brain comparing Arnold's groin to hills?

With a determined sigh, Helga tightened her grip and earned a small gasp from Arnold's otherwise silent mouth. She didn't loosen her grip, she didn't dare until a few seconds later. She breathed a sigh of relief with him. She swallowed whatever guilty lump she had in her throat and made a massage-like motion with her hand.

Was this how you did this? Was this how other girls seduced boys? By playing with their junk like you played with clay as a kid? Was this why you played with clay? Was it some kind of twisted practice for kids who would grow up to be attracted to humans with this appendage?

Helga shook her head, her mind was definitely going weird places, and not the kind of weird place she was actually in. There was _jerking-your-boyfriend-off-in-his-sleep_ weird and _Alice-in-Wonderland_ weird. Her body and mind clearly didn't agree what kind of weird they were in. Perhaps that was a defense mechanism. She was pretty sure that was how Olga survived being, well, Olga. No way could she live inside her own brain.

Opening Arnold's zipper and sneaking her hand into his pants kinda felt like the first time you put your hand in those slime cups. It was snuck, uncomfortable and you had no idea what you were about to feel. She prayed it wouldn't make the same sound though. The actual feeling of it was way different, she noticed that fast enough. It was warm, had smooth skin and was hard as hell. She hadn't expected the feeling of a boob of course, but this was surprisingly rigid.

Feeling her curiosity surpass her wariness, she wrapped her hands around the fleshy rock, earning a high-pitched gasp from its owner. She couldn't be bothered with anything else but the appendage though and started kneading it. She looked at the way the duvet was moving along with her hand, creating waves across the cover. Without a second thought, she kicked the cover off them and looked at her handiwork. And what a sight it was.

Her brain was short-circuiting. What was she doing? How did she get into a situation where she was groping her sleeping boyfriend? Something about rats and hills. She couldn't remember anymore.

 _What is happening?_

Unbeknownst to Helga, the boy she was currently molesting was not currently sleeping. When he woke up, he wasn't sure, because he wasn't sure if he wasn't still sleeping. He had been in the middle of one of his usual Helga-based dreams when something had pinched him and woken him up. He had woken up with a boner before, but never with someone touching it. Not even himself. Not _right_ when he woke up at least.

Arnold couldn't figure out whether this was a dream turned nightmare or some cruel joke the universe had bestowed upon him. Here he was, in a situation he had imagined more than he could count on his fingers and toes and hair strands, and the only reason he was in it was because Helga thought he was sleeping… How was he supposed to keep pretending to be asleep when she was doing… what she was doing.

Helga continued to have no idea that she was no longer the only one awake this cold January morning. At least not in this room. She briefly wondered what time it was, they had gone to bed late after all, maybe it was actually almost morning. Was this morning sex? Did this count as sex? Not really, or did it? Helga wasn't sure how she would categorize groping your lover's flesh bag penis without their verbal consent at the beginning of a new year.

 _Crap, Helga, please loosen your grip a little bit!_ Arnold begged inside his mind where Helga couldn't hear him anyway. She wasn't hurting him, quite the contrary, that was why he wanted her to loosen her grip. At a particularly hard motion, he groaned longingly. He kept his eyes shut, but he felt Helga's hair tickle his stomach as she turned to look at him. She slowed her hand, but only for a few seconds before she returned to pumping.

Arnold could feel the muscles in his thighs tightening as he struggled to stay still and pretend to still be asleep. He couldn't control his voice though and he noticed how it seemed to egg her on. Perhaps she was so caught up in what she was doing that she didn't consider he was actually awake. Terrified of the result, but equally curious, Arnold moved his hips encouragingly. To his surprise, Helga picked up the speed.

Then Arnold felt her hair tickle his chest rather than stomach and he knew she had moved closer to his face. He couldn't help but briefly open his eyes in shock, but closed them again right after. He was in a total panic, but Helga didn't slow down. In fact, she started kissing him. Arnold considered not reciprocating, but wondered if Helga had found out already. He couldn't refuse the temptation; despite keeping his body at bay, his lips joined Helga's and he had to curl his tongue inside his mouth to stop it from joining.

Arnold wasn't sure if he had busted himself at the peak of his arousal, but part of him didn't even care. He was on such a high and the glory of the aftermath clouded his mind enough to allow himself to smile. He felt Helga shift on the bed and mumble to herself.

"It's warm… well, I guess the container is too."

Arnold's snicker came unexpectedly and he couldn't have stopped it if he had seen it coming. Helga looked towards him, having heard the sound. She stared at him for a moment, letting the thought that he might have been awake linger in the back of her head while she got up.

After a second trip to the bathroom that night, Helga climbed back into bed with Arnold. She pulled the duvet over them again, put her chin on his chest and gazed at him. Through the last minute or so, she had been fixated on his face. Her eyes had gotten used to the darkness and she saw expressions on his face she had never seen before. Expressions she had only seen a hint of during their makeout sessions and on that day where she had pulled him into the classroom. She had also seen it when she was trying on that negligee, which had been folded uselessly into one of her drawers, forgotten until this moment.

Perhaps she wanted him to look at her that way again sooner than she thought.

* * *

Helga woke up the next morning, alone in Arnold's bed. Whatever alcohol that was still in her body made her woozy, but she remembered very well what she had done just a few hours ago. If she had been in a different state of mind and in her own bed, she would have curled up like a cocktail shrimp and refused to leave until the next new year. But she got out of the bed, put on the shirt Arnold had given her last night and walked downstairs.

The soft sound of some New Year's day music came from the kitchen and Helga walked inside to see Arnold wearing pants, but no shirt. Her eyes widened a bit, her cheeks feeling suddenly warm, which was stupid cause she had seen the stupid Football Head's upper body a million times before.

"Hi."

Arnold screamed at the top of his lungs and almost dropped the pan he was holding. He turned around, his blonde locks hanging down his face in a way that gave Helga butterflies.

Helga snickered. "The tables have turned."

"I was just, uh… about to make us breakfast." Arnold explained and then chuckled awkwardly. "Though I guess it's actually lunch."

"Oh, ok."

Arnold and Helga looked at each other, looking for signs that the other knew what they knew. A small, trusting smile between them made everything clear. There was a silent agreement that they wouldn't talk about this. Not just yet at least. But they were both aware of the change in their relationship this morning.

"So…" Helga started while walking towards the kitchen. "Sausage and eggs?"

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: So… you're probably thinking "what the fuck" right now xD Yeah, that scene was one huge ass experiment. When I first started writing on it, I was at my dad's place and I think his presence may have influenced my writing cause I started writing whatever weird shit that came into my mind and… I let it stay.**

 **I figured it suited the surreal situation anyway. But Helga is gonna have to deal with it much more seriously in the next chapter! So stay tuned for that, happy holidays and a happy new year! :D**


	19. Breakfast tacos

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter:** _ **At New Year's Eve, Arnold held a party at his rooftop as usual. What wasn't usual though was that Helga had let Rhonda dress her up for the night, which had Arnold realize he was a bit more possessive of her than he thought. Luckily, Helga felt no need to show that amount of skin to anyone else and let him cover her up in one of his shirts.**_

 _ **After a night of partying and drinking, Helga stayed over at Arnold's place. During the night though, Helga woke from her slumber and discovered something under the blanket that made her curious. While Helga allowed her newly-developed hormones to take over her brain, Arnold did the same and pretended to still be asleep while his girlfriend touched him.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I'm sorry for being such a slow writer. I have so many other things going on with my new education that I knew it was bound to happen, but I'm sad to see how little time and how little creativity I'm feeling these last months. I hope people won't lose complete interest in my writing, but I unfortunately do have to focus on my school :P**

 **WARNING: Like in the former chapter, there's a scene in here with dubious consent.**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 19: Breakfast tacos

The silence in the room was palpable. Helga was looking far away from her psychologist with a look of horror on her face. She had been babbling non-stop for 10 minutes straight, confessing everything that had happened New Year's Eve. Given that this secret and her hidden, developing feelings had been building up for a whole week, she had needed this rant badly. But now that it was done, she wanted to take it all back. She didn't care that Dr. Bliss was her psychologist and that everything she said was going to be kept in confidence. Having heard herself put the incident into words had made how fucked up it all was even clearer.

Dr. Bliss coughed, making sure Helga was going to hear her. "I have just one question before I—"

"Yes, I know it was wrong to do it without his spoken consent."

"Very well then." Dr. Bliss said in relief and adjusted her glasses. "And you and Arnold haven't actually spoken of this?"

"No…"

"Are you certain he was awake?"

"Like I said, there was this… feeling in the air the next morning."

"A feeling isn't proof that he's aware what you did, Helga."

"How about the fact that he opened his eyes in the middle of it all?"

"That is a little better. Assuming he did in fact wake up and pretended to keep being asleep… how does that make you feel?"

"Ugh, feelings…" Helga groaned and threw her legs up on the couch. "I guess… I'm grateful that he just let me do whatever I want, I guess. If he had said something I would probably have panicked."

"Have you talked normally since then?"

"We did…"

"Did? Why past sense?"

"Well…" Helga muttered, a deep blush spread on her cheeks. "Let's just say Arnold got back at me at Rhonda's after New Year's party."

"An after New Year's party?"

"Arnold's always hosted the official New Year's party, but the princess is never gonna let him steal away her title of being the class' party queen."

Dr. Bliss folded her hands. "What do you mean that Arnold got back at you?"

Helga's blush flared back up. "Um… ok, so I was the designated driver for this party so I wasn't drinking… but I encouraged Arnold to do so."

"Would you say that you might have done that to try and make it up to him?"

"Fuck if I know."

"Continue the story, Helga."

Helga took a deep breath and started explaining yet another embarrassing escapade between herself and Arnold. She didn't look at Dr. Bliss even once while talking and she left out any unnecessary and inappropriate details. So her retelling only had about 25% of the original story in it.

* * *

"Uh, Helga. Take your boyfriend home. I'm begging you." Rhonda said at around midnight, about a week after New Year's eve. The blonde turned around to see her boyfriend slung over Rhonda's shoulders with a goofy smile on his face.

"Helga!" he said excitedly and reached for her.

"Arnold!" she said in exaggerated excitement to match his and caught him just in time. "How much did he drink?"

"Enough to think it was ok to start doing the chicken dance."

Helga laughed at the mental image and smiled at Arnold. "Ready to go home, Football Head?"

Arnold groaned unhappily. "Can I come home with you?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess it's time that you slept at _my_ place for once."

"Yay!" Arnold squealed happily and threw his arms around her neck, almost knocking them both over.

Helga sighed. "I regret everything."

Despite Helga's reluctance, she stayed true to her words and took Arnold home with her. Through the entire ride, he had been uncharacteristically obnoxious. Well, he could be obnoxious often, but not this way. He kept trying to touch her, tickle her, kiss her, whatever to get closer to her. Helga finally had to let him put his head on her lap. He was an accident hazard, but Helga was a focused driver. At least until he bit her thigh and broke through the stockings, which made her squeal and almost crash into the apartment complex she and her mother lived in.

"Criminy, Football head, how sharp are your teeth? I know the stockings are thin, but come on." Helga groaned while stretching the hole at the inside of her right thigh. It was dangerously close to an area you would usually cover, but her dress could cover it up easily. But the feeling of her stocking-clad right thigh scraping up against her naked left thigh was weird.

"But you should give air to your legs!" Arnold insisted while stumbling up the stairs with Helga's hands against his shoulders to stop him from potentially falling to his death. And pulling her with him.

"Not in freaking January!"

"Touché, my dear."

 _Dear?_ Helga cringed on the inside and pushed at Arnold until the wall was supporting his weight instead of her. He looked at her with those drowsy, half-lidded eyes. For the first time, that made her skip a heartbeat.

"You know how I've been in love with you for like 15 years?"

Helga almost dropped her keys. "Yeah, I vaguely remember you mentioning that. You were drunk back then too."

"It's harder now than back then." Arnold drooled. " _Way_ harder."

Helga unlocked the door and let the door slide open. "Oh? How so?" she asked, wondering if she should just dismiss everything he says as part of his drunken stupor. But she was genuinely curious what he meant by that.

"Well, because—"

"Arnold!"

It was well-known that men were supposedly not very good at multi-tasking. Talking while trying to hug Helga was apparently too much for Arnold's drunken male brain, and he tumbled into her back, forcing her into a crouched-over position to keep them from falling.

"Criminy! Lay off the raspberry pies, will ya?" Helga ordered while walking into the living room, kicking the front door closed. "And be quiet. Miriam's sleeping."

"It's hard being around you." Arnold repeated in a mumble.

Helga sighed while continuing her way towards the couch, hoping to relieve herself from Arnold's weight soon. Once she was close enough, she grabbed the drunk boy by the arm so she could pull him around and let him fall on the couch. Unfortunately, before she could go through with her plan, Arnold took a step forward and made her lose her balance. She landed face first into a pillow with his limps sprawled unceremoniously over her entire body. Helga lifted her face from the pillow, breathing hard.

"Why is it hard?" she decided to ask while wiggling her hips to coax him into moving so she could get up and get a blanket for him. But she felt something rubbing against her, something she was sure wasn't the remote because she could see that, resting near the TV, in the corner of her eye. It couldn't be his phone either because she had left that in the car along with their coats. But now that left her with the question; _Why is it hard?!_

"It's hard because…"

Arnold now had Helga's full attention, but clearly his focus had never been on sleep. She might have only felt this once, and then a few sleazy guys who would have tried rubbing against her before she decked them, but what she could feel pushing against the hem of her dress was unmistakable. She knew it was just a matter of her putting her foot down. Literally. She just had to put her foot down on the ground, push herself up and then he'd tumble off her. But for some reason, she stayed put while Arnold kept talking.

"It's hard 'cause you kinda lemme kiss you, but not really… and you kinda lemme touch you, but not really. And I really… really… wanna do a lot of dirty stuff to you."

Helga skipped another heartbeat that evening. She made a half-assed mental note to never let Arnold drink again. Every time he was drunk around her, he would say or do things he'd never dare when he was sober. Well, she supposed that was the point of alcohol. He had told her he was in love with her, tried to find out what it was her skin tasted like, and now he was confessing the sins crawling on his back.

Helga stood at a crossroad. To let him tell or not to tell, that was the question. It was an easy choice. She didn't want to hear Arnold speak of his dirty thoughts. It was his dirty thoughts that scared her the most. More so than her own cause those were hers and she knew those. But would Arnold's thoughts seem less scary if she knew them or would they only confirm what she wasn't ready to know? She figured she wasn't. Her own dirty thoughts scared her enough, she didn't need to have to think about his as well.

"Like that?"

So _why the hell_ did she hear herself ask him that?

"Like… what you did to me New Year's eve."

Helga's brain did a backflip. She laughed nervously. "I thought we made a silent agreement not to talk about it?"

"We're not. We're talking about that I wanna do it to you too."

"That's a distinction without a difference." Helga insisted and tried wiggling her hips again, more than ready to stop the conversation.

"I wanna touch you like that too…" Arnold continued, his girlfriend giving up on wiggling him off her. "Wanna hear you moan… maybe even moan my name."

Helga could feel her cheeks flaring at the thought. "Never gonna happen." She whispered stubbornly.

Arnold didn't hear her. "I want to give you goosebumps."

"Already done that, loads of times."

"Not that kind of goosebumps, Helga!"

 _I know, you idiot,_ Helga thought, willing her cheeks to stop being so red. It was dark so he probably couldn't see it, but still, she didn't want to play Rudolph right now.

"I want to touch every inch of your body… _lick_ every inch of your body."

 _Ok, brain, those images aren't welcome_ , Helga thought, now shifting her focus on trying not to imagine what her boyfriend was describing to her.

"I could make you feel good too."

"I'm sure you could, Football Head." Helga replied dismissively.

"No, seriously. I could." He replied, his voice still slurred, but having an almost sober undertone to it. He kissed her neck sweetly, making her jolt.

"G—Get off, Arnold. Don't make me push you to the floor."

"Don't wanna." Arnold gave as an answer and let a lick on her neck accompany it.

Helga's entire body twitched from the contact. With a determined hiss, she pulled her knees up to her chest, successfully pushing Arnold upwards. He didn't move away from her back though so she started crawling towards the armrest with every intention of jumping over it, throw the blanket over his stupid football-shaped head and then go to bed and forget this whole night. With a shriek though, Helga was pulled back until she could feel Arnold's thighs against her own. He put his mouth at the crook of her neck, making a low hum of content.

Helga whispered his name in a voice akin to the one you'd use to scold a naughty child with. He ignored her, letting his arms travel up to her stomach, hugging her silently. She sighed, trying to calm herself before making another escape attempt. She was trying to conjure up a way to get out of this situation without Arnold hurting in the morning when she felt him start to kiss her neck. She made a small gasp, not used to that sort of affection yet.

Arnold chuckled lowly. "You like that, don't you?"

"Do _not_!" Helga's pitch got higher when his tongue tickle her earlobe. "Don't do that…"

"Why not? You like it."

"Do not."

"Do too." Arnold and bit her ear for emphasis. He chuckled victoriously when she moaned. "See?"

"Arnold, you're drunk."

"So? I think about doing this when I'm sober too."

Helga didn't know how to argue against that because she figured he was probably telling the truth. Drunk or sober, she knew Arnold's mind was always filled with her. Even before she knew how he felt about her, she knew she was always his first priority. He always made sure she was happy, that she felt appreciated and loved, that she never got to doubt her worth or never had to wonder if she wasn't good enough. She could thank him for being who she was today. Or that she at least didn't turn out worse.

The ill-timed tender moment Helga was feeling was taken away from her when Arnold tried to do the same with her dress. "Hey!" she bellowed and grabbed at her strap.

Arnold shushed her. "Your mom is sleeping."

"Yes! S—So stop whatever it is you're doing. I don't wanna wake her."

Arnold halted to Helga's relief, but it washed away soon. "So it's ok as long as she doesn't hear?"

Helga felt her cheeks go ablaze. "You just interpret everything the way you want, don't you?" she hissed and turned to glare at him. He gave her a boyishly naughty smirk before he kissed her now naked shoulder, which Helga immediately gave the desired reaction to.

 _You could just push him away, you know?_ A voice inside Helga's head suggested to her. _He's drunk and you're stronger than him. It wouldn't take a whole lot to stop this. You just need to decide to._

"Easy for you to say…" Helga whispered to which Arnold hummed, his way of asking her what she was saying. "I—I said you're tickling me!"

"You're not laughing."

"Cause it's not funny." Helga stuttered and felt the strap of her dress fall down her shoulder again. She knew it was because she was shivering at this point. She felt hot and cold at the same time and her mouth was dry.

Arnold was both keenly aware and yet totally oblivious to how Helga was feeling. He noticed the things she didn't want him to notice; like how she hadn't tried to push him off yet. Helga wasn't afraid to get physical if she felt the need to, not even with him. That told him that no matter how little she wanted to admit it she was enjoying this. Perhaps she wasn't quite ready to admit that her view on physical affection was changing. Even though she had been exploring him on her own New Year's Eve, she could easily blame it on the alcohol. But so could he, didn't he?

But these were all thoughts that were lost in the drunken haze Arnold was in and all he really knew was that Helga tasted and smelled good and he really liked the sounds she was making.

"Arnold!" Helga shrieked when his hand found its way into her dress, gently groping her breast. He kept showering her neck and shoulder with kiss, licking and occasionally biting softly as well.

Helga noticed something about her hips, which she had noticed New Year's Eve as well; they were moving. Somewhere, subconsciously, she was trying to move her hips against Arnold's and that was an absolutely humiliating thought. But she didn't try to control herself. She gasped when Arnold put his free hand on her thigh, grabbing at the inside of it. He massaged both her breast and thigh, humming against her skin as if he was having the time of his life. Helga couldn't help but wonder how many times he had imagined doing this to her? How many times he had touched himself to the thought of her?

Very suddenly, Arnold's hand left Helga's breast and she sighed in equal relief and disappointment. That soon changed when both of his hands were suddenly near the tear he had made in her stockings earlier. She mumbled his name in confusion, before he very deliberately pulled at the hole, making it bigger.

"Arnold!" Helga screamed, her hand immediately struggling between deciding whether to cover her mouth or grab his hand. Figuring she could just keep her mouth shut, she settled on grabbing his hand. "What do you think you're doing?"

"They were broken anyway."

"Not the point! W—What are you trying to do here?"

Arnold let his hand answer for him and slid it into the hole, touching her panties. Helga was officially panicking. She had expected this turn of events, but was still completely cut off guard. His weight on her suddenly made her feel like she couldn't breathe and she put her foot down on the floor. After a moment to steel her nerves, she used all the strength in her leg to push herself up. She managed to get them up in an upright position, but lost her footing and crashed into Arnold's chest. With a small thud, he landed on his back on the couch with her on top of him.

Helga realized, as she felt Arnold's hand still tugged inside her stockings, that all she had accomplished was changing their position. It gave her more room to breathe and that made her calm down significantly. Feeling Arnold move his free hand up to her breast again though turned her heartbeat back up again though.

"If you wanted to be on top, you could have just said so." Arnold chuckled and bit on her neck once more.

"That is _not_ what I was trying to do, and you know it!"

"Whatever you say, Helga."

It really hadn't been what she was trying to do, but she couldn't deny that the desire to get away had lessened now. It was still there though, so she tried to move her legs so she could close them.

"Nuh-uh-uh." Arnold reprimanded jokingly and moved his own leg so her leg was caught between his and the couch.

"Arnold!" Helga scolded, almost impressed. He was never this stubborn nor did he ever go against her wishes this adamantly. It pissed her off. But that wasn't all she was feeling. "You are so fucking dead tomorrow."

"Better make it worth it then."

Helga had to bite her lip not to let out the scream Arnold almost had her make. The hand he had near her crotch, his dominant left hand, had just started rubbing against her panties. It was a weak feeling, but enough to make her whine. The on her breast was much rougher and she put her own hand over it, intending to push it away. She didn't though, and just let it stay there uselessly, while her hips kept twitching against his hand.

"Move up a bit, Helga." Arnold said, his voice suddenly sounding very hazy.

"H—Huh?" Helga muttered, but he didn't ask her again. He wiggled his head under her arm, grabbed her around her waist and hoisted her up until her back was on his shoulder. He put his hands back in place and let his mouth join the manhandling. He bit on her breast through the dress and she gasped in shock. He tried to pull it down, but Helga's arm kept the strap up.

"Help me get your dress down."

"D—Do it yourself!" Helga insisted stubbornly, unwilling to help him, but also unwilling to try and stop him.

With an impatient grunt, Arnold moved his hand away from her legs and grabbed it at the strap of her dress. He pulled it down eagerly, exposing her bra to him. He kissed the side of her breast hungrily while pulling the strap from that down as well. It took some effort, but he eventually got the bra strap all the way off her arm. He pushed the cup of the bra down enough for him to expose her breast to him and licked at her nipple.

Helga grit her teeth, trying to figure out how she ended up in this position. Was this really Arnold? Her meek, sweet, gentleman of a boyfriend? Was he the same guy who didn't just want to, but was in fact doing this to her? Was he really making her feel equally horrible and amazing at the same time? And more importantly, was she even herself right now? She could sit up and stop it so easily, she would have done that not that long ago, what had changed? Why was she letting him do this? Why did she want to know what it would feel like? Why did she want him to continue?

"What are you doing to me?" Helga panted, her voice slightly on edge, her hand twisting into his hair.

"Want me to stop?"

 _Yes!_

"No."

 _Fucking what?!_

Helga could feel the shit-eating grin Arnold was making against her breast before he opted the intensity. He finally snuck his fingers inside her underwear, rendering her ability to keep her voice down to practically zero. She put her hand over her mouth, managing to cover most of the sounds spilling from her lips. She thanked her lucky stars that her mom was a heavy sleeper.

Arnold's focus was still mostly on Helga's breast, licking, kissing and sucking vigorously, but he was slowly shifting more of his attention towards her crotch. He had been simply caressing with a flat hand so far, letting himself get a feel of her. When her breathing slowed down though, he started moving his middle finger vertically. She gave a gasp and the tension in her body returned. He wondered if he was twisted for not wanting her to relax in his arms. He enjoyed feeling her writhe against him, almost as if she couldn't contain herself and stay still. He wondered if that was a thought only drunk Arnold had and not sober Arnold.

Or maybe he wasn't really wondering anything at all except what to do next.

 _This is it, this is how I die_ , Helga thought dramatically, feeling her lungs demand air. She kept taking quick breaths, never truly getting enough oxygen with either of them. The sense of fear mixed with the lust was taking over once again and she didn't know what to do about it. The voice in her head that kept insisting she could stop it at any time had faded away into nothingness and she was left alone with no thoughts at all. Only two contradicting desires.

"What's happening?" Helga whispered, opening her eyes to stare at the dark ceiling above her. "What are you doing to me?"

"The same thing you did to me, right?"

"This isn't the same… you were sleeping."

"You can take a nap if you want."

"Hardy-har-har." Helga fake laughed, thankful that Arnold was making jokes for whatever reason. "Please just… just…"

"Just what?" Arnold asked, his voice changing into an octave lower. "What do you want?"

Helga couldn't take it anymore and shook her head violently. "Please just do it already!"

Helga's reaction to Arnold moving his finger according to her wish was speedy. She gave a high-pitched moan and her entire body went rigid. She had never felt anything like this before and the embarrassing part was that she knew he wasn't doing much. And what he was doing was clumsy and inexperienced. She had never felt true sexual desire, never acted upon it if she did feel it, and she didn't know what to do with herself. She was still horrified of all the new feelings, but wanted to know what else she could feel. She kept wanting to push herself, almost like a masochistic adrenaline junkie. The way her heart was beating, it felt like it was trying to escape her rib cage and it hurt. She could barely breathe and was gasping for air, but was willing herself to faint just so she wouldn't have to deal with all of this.

Suddenly, it all stopped. The hungry mouth, the insistent hand, everything. Helga took a few short breaths, feeling as if her soul was returning to her body. She looked to her side at Arnold in confusion. He was looking at her with a pair of eyes she had only seen a few times before. This look full of lust, but also sincere love. It was mesmerizing. He smiled at her before stretching his neck and kissed her. She was frozen in place, the suddenly tender kiss feeling so unfamiliar to her in the midst of the passion. What she noticed though was that her heart seemed to settle in place. It was still beating, but now at a comfortable pace.

After a short moment, Helga kissed back, very softly. Her hand, which was still woven into his hair, caressed his head softly. She'd noticed she liked touching his hair ever since the first time she touched it, but even more so after she made a habit of it while they kissed. It was oddly soft and the familiar smell of coconut calmed her. He kissed her sweetly, licking and biting her lips gently. It was almost frustrating after the turmoil of feelings she'd just experienced. She was unfulfilled and she knew it. Why had he stopped to do this instead?

Then, Arnold started again. Helga made a muffled gasp, the suddenness of it taking her completely by surprise. The automatic coiling in her body returned and moans were spilling out of her mouth again. Her heart picked up its former pace and she felt the lust return to her. But not the fear. Feeling something build up inside of her, Helga grabbed ahold of Arnold's hair desperately, forcing his head down to her shoulder. She could feel his teeth bearing against her shoulder, probably because of the pain she was inflicting on him. She couldn't bring herself to care because every fiber of her being was quickly set on fire.

As quickly as it had begun, it didn't end as fast. Helga stayed in the peaceful afterglow for a few minutes, the shivers still occasionally making her twitch. The voices in her head seemed to have finally been turned off and she marveled in the comfortable silence. Arnold was breathing calmly into her neck and it tickled slightly. It also brought a weird sense of safety with it, like if he was keeping her aware that this was real and that she wasn't about to slip into madness. She held onto him as much as she could. His arm went over her chest, covering her while hugging her. It was an odd sensation.

* * *

Dr. Bliss blinked. One, two, three times, in total silence, while Helga's entire face kept staying tomato red. She of course hadn't told of her every sleazy detail, but she had never been good at keeping things vague.

The psychologist cleared her throat. "What happened… afterwards?"

"I… put a blanket on him and went to bed. Pretty sure he was sleeping before I was even gone."

"You didn't talk at all? About this… development?"

"Not a word."

"And in the morning?"

Helga gave Dr. Bliss a look of absolute shame. "We had breakfast tacos."

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: Some of you more perceptive people might be able to notice that this chapter is slightly shorter than I usually let my chapters be. It's not by a lot though, only like 100 words. I usually try to keep the chapter at 5k at minimum cause I personally think it's a good length, but sometimes I can't fill my own quota, so sorry about that xD**

 **I hope the next chapter won't take me this long to write…**


	20. Your hands are cold

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the last chapter: _After what happened New Year's Eve, Helga decided to talk to Dr. Bliss about it. But New Year's Eve wasn't the last time she and Arnold were physical and she had to tell Dr. Bliss not just one, but two embarrassing stories about their sexcapades. While drunk, Arnold had become more aggressive in his flirting with Helga and that had resulted in him returning the favor she did for him on New Year's. Despite Dr. Bliss' words, the blondes still haven't talked about the new development in their relationship._**

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I want to regard the theme of dubious consent I've had in the former chapters. Obviously, an author doesn't always condone nor encourage the behaviors of their characters in their story and I hope people understand that while I've written the last two chapters with engagement, I do in fact not condone Helga or Arnold's actions. Their situations are gray areas in the fictional world, but not in the real world. If your partner is asleep, drunk, or at all incapable of giving proper consent that means NO. But this is a world of fiction and their situations, in my opinion, are gray areas. As long as it stays fiction.**

 **The reason why they're gray areas is because Arnold and Helga both give a sort of consent to each other. Arnold woke up during Helga's ministrations, which Helga realized, and Helga could have easily stopped Arnold's ministrations at any point, which I did my best to show through my writing. Neither of them wanted to stop what the other was doing on either night, but were in precarious situations.**

 **This whole thing will of course be dealt with in due time, but I want to portray Arnold and Helga also being stupid, awkward teens who make lots of mistakes. With themselves AND each other. So please be patient with our two favorite blondes :)**

 **ATT: IMPORTANT NOTICE IN THE SECOND AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 20: Your hands are cold

"I don't need you guys to judge me too."

"We're not judging _just_ you…" Patty insisted.

"Don't judge me at all!"

"Kinda hard not to…" Phoebe muttered and started playing with her ponytail just so she could distract herself from the conversation. "I hope you understand that what you and Arnold have done to each other isn't exactly considered healthy."

"Oh, gee whiz, Phoebe, I had no idea!" Helga said and threw her arms out in mock realization. "You think molesting each other in our sleep and while drunk is something I think would be _good_ for us?! Even if I was that fucking stupid, the way Arnold and I are acting around each other right now would have proved I was wrong."

Patty sighed. "When you said you wanted to talk to us, I was hoping for something about sex, sure, but not like this."

Helga leaned back in the much too uncomfortable classroom chair. "At least Arnold and I are both on shaky moral ground."

"Well, more so you than Arnold."

"What?! Why?"

"Because while Arnold _did_ … do what he did without your full consent, he was drunk. And you let him do it, knowing he might not remember it in the morning. And you're the one who did something to him at New Year's Eve, so—"

"Wait, hold on! Why the hell am I to be blame for what Arnold did to me?"

"He was drunk, wasn't he? And you could have stopped it at any time, we all know that, since you're stronger than he is, especially because you were sober. There's no possibility that you would have let him do those things if you had truly not wanted him to."

"But isn't he the one who did something to me?" Helga asked feebly, even though she knew it was a lost cause.

"If a person can't be considered eligible to give consent while drunk, a person also can't be blamed for their actions while drunk. It's one way or another."

"I didn't expect that opinion from you, Phoebe." Patty said in surprise.

"It's hypocrisy! I can't count how many articles I've read about a poor little girl who was"—Phoebe used citations marks—" _taken advantage of_ because she was drunk and therefore couldn't give consent. But somehow, the boy is to blame even though he was drunk as well. You can't say that one person can't be held accountable for their actions while saying the other is a poor little lamb. It's one or the other!"

"I guess Helga being the sober one _should_ have stopped Arnold."

"I get it!" Helga groaned. "I'm the big bad wolf!"

"I'm not saying Arnold is innocent in all this, but it is 2 to 1."

Helga slid off the chair dramatically. "What am I supposed to do?"

The girls hovered above Helga. "You could talk to him about it?" suggested Phoebe innocently.

Patty gave her a pointed look. "Yeah, cause that's gonna happen."

"Agreed." Helga replied with an equally pointed look. Phoebe threw out her hands in surrender. "Have you guys noticed that Arnold spends our breaks just… running around?"

"Yeah, he puts on his coat and then just runs around outside the school." Patty described, noticing Arnold running by outside the window.

"Perhaps he is channeling his frustration into physical activity." Phoebe suggested with a crooked smile.

"Why the smirk?"

"You do realize what type of frustration she's talking about, aren't you?" Patty added and wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

Helga could almost literally feel the blush spreading on her entire face. "Oh, shut up!"

"Maybe all they really need to do is just act on these new urges." Phoebe suggested.

"You're saying you think they don't need to talk?"

"Well… Arnold and Helga have always been more about actions than words, haven't they?"

"I guess." Patty admitted and looked back at Helga who was staring out the window. "Checking out your boyfriend?"

"He's showing off on purpose." Helga stated off-handedly.

Phoebe and Patty both looked out the window and noticed that Arnold had stopped his goalless running about and replaced it with doing sit-ups.

Patty snickered. "You like?" she asked, but Helga just shot her a glare. "He really _is_ sexually frustrated."

"How are you so sure that's what it is? Maybe he's angry with me."

"Doubt it." Patty answered Helga and leaned back in her chair. "He's probably doing his best not to do something to ya' and scare you off."

Helga frowned. "Scare me off? What am I, a deer?"

"You _do_ have a history of freaking out at romantic and sexual advances." Phoebe testified.

"If you're calling what those sleazebags hitting on me in bars do as _romantic advances_ , you have a problem."

Phoebe laughed. "You know what I mean. Perhaps Arnold is worried that despite your recent actions, he'll somehow ruin it all if he acts on it?"

"Sounds like something a worrywart like him would do."

Patty snorted. "You're gonna have to do something about this. Waiting for that guy to make a move is like going fishing in a pool."

Helga turned back to the window, watching her boyfriend continuing his workout. He had always been a fan of sports, but she couldn't remember him ever deliberately choosing to work out just for the sake of working out. He cared about his health, but not his physique, so this was a new, unexplored area. Hit with a sudden rush of curiosity, Helga grabbed her coat and left her friends in the classroom.

Taking advantage of her long legs, Helga hurried outside while putting her coat on. It only took her about 10 seconds before she was approaching Arnold. He didn't notice her at first, his back turned to her while he was doing push-ups. She watched him for a few moments, repeating Patty's question in her mind.

 _I don't… dislike._ She thought with a smirk and stepped in front of Arnold's head.

With a gasp, he dropped to the ground and tried to look up at her. When his neck refused to bend the way he wanted it to, he turned around until he was lying on his back. He watched Helga smirk, leaning forward with her arms connected behind her back.

"This your way of taking a break?"

Letting himself pant for a moment, Arnold slowly broke into a smile. "It's healthy."

"Mhm. And since when have you cared _this_ much about your health?"

"Since… a few weeks ago."

"Since Rhonda's party?" Helga asked bluntly.

Arnold showed a crooked smile. "Yeah."

Helga couldn't help but smile. "Anything I can do to help?"

Blonde eyebrows arched at the question. "What do you mean, help?" he asked, but all he got as an answer was shrugging shoulders. He thought for a moment, contemplating the many things he could answer. He smirked and gestured towards his legs. "Sit on my knees."

Helga did as told despite being confused. Once she was seated on his knees, Arnold put his arms behind his head and did a sit-up. When he reached her, he pecked her lips and fell back down. Helga immediately started chuckling when he kissed her again.

"That is the dumbest thing!" she exclaimed, but pressed her lips against the approaching mouth nevertheless.

"Hey, it's great motivation."

"Oh, really?" Helga teased and let him kiss her one more time before she put her hands on his shoulders. "Let's make it harder, shall we?"

Arnold huffed while trying to push against her, but had to realize he wasn't quite that strong yet. "Let me bend my knees."

Helga pondered his request for a moment, but moved like asked. She felt him bend his legs behind her, pushing her to sit on his lap. She kept her hands on his shoulders while he struggled to sit up. This time, he reached her and it was the most satisfying kiss he had gotten in a long time. He leant back down reluctantly and struggled once more to sit up and kiss her. He did that a few times before Helga suddenly threw her arms around him, stopping him from falling back down. She deepened the kiss and he immediately responded, despite his surprise.

To Arnold's dismay, the kiss didn't last very long. His girlfriend smirked knowingly at his disappointed face before she removed herself from him completely. She lied down next to him, her knees bend and slightly spread apart.

"Push-ups this time."

Arnold smiled while crawling between her legs. She was giving him a look he hadn't seen on her before, and he wondered if she had looked that way during New Year's eve too. He could still remember everything about that night, still remember feeling her touching him, those unexperienced and yet confident movements. He could still remember hearing her pants in his ear every now and then, and feeling her react when he himself moaned. The only thing he couldn't remember, because he hadn't experienced it, was the way she looked. He would give anything to see what expression she had during that moment. He hoped he would get the chance to see it again soon.

Arnold bend his arms and kissed Helga before pushing himself back up. Every time he reached her, his kiss was met with enthusiasm and she would smirk knowingly every time he grunted. "Struggling a bit, are we?"

"You're killing me." Arnold mused before allowing himself to fall onto her chest.

The blonde girl laughed heartily, adjusting her legs to give him more room. "Are you really giving up already?"

"Yup, I'm surrendering."

"To me?"

Arnold leaned on his arms so he could look at her. "I did that a long time ago." He owned up in a somber mutter.

The target of his confession turned red-faced, and the hot breath leaving her created a small puff of hot smoke between them. They met in yet another kiss though this one was very different. There was an unspoken feeling of inappropriate desire on the school grounds. It was akin to what they felt when Helga had pulled Arnold into a classroom to make out with him. Despite Arnold's romantic nature, he was also very much a slave to his desires towards Helga. And it had become more and more apparent since he got his first taste of what it would be like to completely surrender to them. And Helga was starting to feel her curiosity take over as well. She had never felt this way before, didn't even know she could. And now she wanted something unexplored, something she had no idea what really was. Something that could change their relationship forever.

The truth of that suddenly hit Helga like a truck and she felt a sense of panic spread in the pit of her stomach, replacing the tingling warmth. Her body went rigid and she stopped reciprocating the kiss. Feeling the change in her body, Arnold sat up and gave her room to breathe. A shaky gasp left her and somehow, this puff of smoke wasn't as warm as the former.

"What did I do?" Arnold asked, hoping not to repeat whatever he had done to make her like this.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Helga answered with nothing but honesty before she nudged at him to move.

"Really?" Arnold asked while moving to the side, allowing her to get up.

"Really-really." Helga promised, but left him without another word.

Arnold held his hand against his forehead, as if doing that could help him go through what just happened. Helga had seemed almost aggressive in her flirting, at least compared to what she was usually like. He had initiated the small pecks, but she turned them heated. He had been the one to start kissing her while he was hovering above her though. Was that it? Did that still freak her out, having him be on top of her?

Unable to reach a certain conclusion, Arnold made a mental note to avoid being above Helga in any way in the future.

As Arnold began working out again, Helga walked back into the classroom, once again joining Patty and Phoebe who were both smirking at her.

"That got hot quickly." Patty teased.

"Went cold just as fast." Helga sneered and sat down.

"What happened?" Phoebe inquired worriedly.

The blonde hesitated for a moment. "I'm not sure… I think… the whole thing still freaks me out."

"I told you so."

Helga stuck her tongue out at the comment. "Arnold's making me feel things I didn't know I could feel. I'm really confused."

"Well, what is he making you feel?"

Helga closed her eyes, thinking deeply before answering. "He makes it hard to breathe… sometimes I get dizzy and… my heart beats really fast." She listed, noticing how these exact feelings started stirring in her. "And he gives me this feeling of wanting… _more_ of something."

" _Something_?" Patty provoked.

"Shut up." Helga huffed. "But that's what scares me, I didn't think that was something that was in store for me. I was planning to live my life as forever single. I didn't think I was going to have to deal with… urges."

" _Urges_ , you are so cute!" Patty bellowed, unable to keep quiet anymore.

"Fuck off, I'm doing my best here!"

"Helga, all this means is that you're falling in love with Arnold." Phoebe interfered, smiling brightly. "It might be a little scary, but this is a really good thing! Both for you and Arnold. You don't need to be worried."

"You're saying that like it's no big deal."

"It _isn't_ a big deal. This is Arnold we're talking about. We all know he's been in love with you since always." Phoebe assured, but her best friend still didn't seem convinced. "Helga, you could propose to him and you'd still have the upper-hand."

Helga officially hated herself. Because that one piece of information made her feel so much better. Knowing she would always have the upper-hand, knowing she would never be truly vulnerable around Arnold, knowing she had absolutely nothing to worry about, but he did, all those things made her feel confident and secure. Why did she feel this utter need to always be on top?

Even while asking herself this, she knew the answer. Her mom never had the upper-hand in any of her relationships. Until recently, Olga didn't either. Helga had grown up, watching her two female role-models being at the mercy of someone else, being helpless in everything they did. She saw what it did to them and it terrified her to think she'd ever be the same way. Being told she had nothing to worry about reassured her much more than she liked to admit. She hated that she needed the guarantee that she wasn't weak and vulnerable, it ironically enough made her feel exactly those things.

"Helga," Patty whispered and gained the attention of the blonde. "you should tell Arnold how you feel. It would make you both feel so happy."

Helga opened her mouth to say something, but then hesitated for another moment. "I can't do that. It scares me."

"It's ok to be scared." Phoebe comforted. "Just don't let it get between you."

* * *

Despite Phoebe's reassurance, Arnold and Helga went straight back to avoiding each other. They had their own feelings to deal with and sort out, but it was mostly Helga who needed the time alone. She almost became a lone brooder during this time and before they realized it, the snow had melted and the first signs of life were blooming.

It was still far too cold to be outside without a coat on, but Helga was happy to leave the huge winter coat in the closet. She preferred her purple trench coat. On her way to school, she passed by Mrs. Vitello's flower shop. At the sight of a familiar flower, she stopped to admire it. The pink and yellow colors were still mesmerizing and she couldn't help but reminiscence how far she had gotten since Arnold first compared her to that flower.

"How come it's in bloom?"

Mrs. Vitello looked up at Helga and smiled. "Hibiscus plants actually bloom all year, dear."

" _All_ year?" Helga repeated in surprise. "But it's just been winter!"

"Tell that to the flower." Mrs. Vitello laughed and carried a potted plant inside the store.

Helga stared at the little flower in shock. Blooming all year, she had never heard of anything that did that. Didn't someone once made a poetic statement that humans shouldn't feel pressured to be perfect and happy all year around because there was no flower that bloomed all year either? Way to say _screw you_ , Gumamela flower.

If they could bloom all year despite the hard conditions though, maybe Helga could too.

* * *

Arnold noticed something different about Helga on this early spring day. She didn't say anything special, didn't do anything special, but there was a special glint in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to approach her and ask her if something good had happened, but he decided to let her be the one to approach him. With everything that had been going on, he wanted her to do things her way and in her own time. If that meant to ignore his utter curiosity and need for updates on her life, so be it.

By the time lunch enrolled, Arnold's leg was giving away his worry. It kept bouncing on the floor, driving the boys around him crazy.

"Just talk to her already!"

Arnold flinched at the sound of his best friend barking at him. "No, I'm gonna wait until she's ready."

"Then stop bouncing your goddamn leg!"

Arnold did as told and forced his leg to still. He took a bite off his sandwich, trying to occupy his thoughts with the taste of the baloney inside. All that did was to make him scrunch his nose, there was a reason the students never thought too hard about the cafeteria food.

"I don't get it." Sid began. "I thought you and Helga were getting along. More than ever."

"Me too." Harold agreed. "What happened?"

A blush immediately spread on Arnold's face and he looked to Gerald for help. He was the only one he had told about the updates on his and Helga's relationship. He didn't need the other boys' comments on the newly-developed sex life. Especially not Sid's.

Catching onto Arnold's silent plead for help, Gerald coughed. "Leave him alone, you guys."

The boys were quiet for a moment. Then they continued to ask Arnold questions.

"That was the most half-assed thing, you've ever done." Arnold deadpanned.

Gerald smirked. "You're worrying too much. As always. Things will work out, it's you and Helga after all."

"What, are we untouchable or something?"

"I mean… you _have_ stuck with each other despite everything so far. I don't think this is what's gonna tear you apart."

Arnold understood what Gerald meant, and he agreed. But it still wasn't an easy situation he was in and he continued to doubt everything he did. Maybe he should just talk to Helga on his own. Maybe she was waiting for him? Maybe she was testing him? Maybe she was doing and thinking so many things he would never find out about? Maybe he should just relax and do something unrelated to Helga?

Probably.

"Hey, Arnold." a soft, familiar voice spoke behind Arnold. He choked on his sandwich for a moment, took the quickest slurp from his soda he had ever taken and turned around to smile casually at Helga. She gave him an unsure smile. "Can we talk?"

Arnold's smile immediately faltered.

"Ooh…" Sid cooed in a worried tone of voice. "Is she about to break his heart?"

"Y'all had a good run, Arnold." Stinky drawled.

"Is this the end for Shortaki?" Harold asked dramatically.

"Shortaki?" Helga repeated in confusion.

"Some… weird mix of our names." Arnold explained in embarrassment.

Helga's eyes squinted, almost as if she wanted to say something more, but then shook her head. "Walk with me?"

"Uh, sure." Arnold agreed and stood up, only to remember his sandwich and put it down on his trey. Gerald patted his hand.

"Good luck."

Arnold knew Gerald was mocking him for being anxious, but his comment only served to make him more nervous. The infamous _can we talk_ line was infamous for a reason. It could mean a million different things, both good and bad.

There was a chance that Helga just wanted to talk about her feelings. That she wanted to talk about everything that had happened, and wanted to be open and honest about what she wanted to do from now on. There was a chance that she had been just as insecure about all of this as he had and finally wanted to move forward together.

There was also a chance that frozen pigs had started flying in Hell.

Arnold wasn't usually a pessimist, but he wasn't unrealistic either. No anymore at least. If Helga wanted to talk to him, and it wasn't something she wanted to say in front of others, it was serious. He probably wasn't going to like it. It wasn't unlikely that them taking their relationship to the next level had made her realize that she couldn't be with him. After all, it was the sexual and trusting part of their relationship that scared her. She didn't like being vulnerable.

Arnold chuckled awkwardly. "The guys were being real jerks just now, huh?" he tried clumsily. "Talking about how you're gonna break up with me. They're probably just teasing me, but it still makes me a little nervous. So… could you just tell me what we're going to talk about? Just, the overall theme? Or if I should be nervous? Or relieved?"

Arnold had expected something along the lines of Helga snorting and calling him a worrywart. He had expected her to ease his worries, tell him he was just being paranoid. But she didn't say anything, just continued walking down the hallway towards wherever she had deemed appropriate to break his heart.

Arnold could feel the panic rise in him. This couldn't really be happening, could it? After everything they had gone through the last seven months, this couldn't be the end. After how far they've gotten? Helga didn't like doing things halfheartedly, despite every fall, she had always gotten up again. This couldn't have been the final kick, there was no way. But what if it was? What if she told him she wanted to end this once and for all? What should he do then?

He contemplated going down without a fight. Perhaps if he didn't fight her on this, could she change her mind later on? If he didn't push her to be with him, maybe she'd understand once again that she could trust him? Was being passive or aggressive the right move in this situation? Was accepting her choice and allowing her to slip away the right thing to do? Or did he need to take charge and show her he wanted to be with her more than anything? Was that what she needed, him to prove to her he wanted to be with her more than anything? Or did he need to keep his mouth shut for once?

But Arnold couldn't keep quiet. He couldn't pretend the thought of them going back to being friends wouldn't hurt him. He didn't want to risk her leaving his life completely, but becoming her friend again would kill him after experiencing what being her boyfriend was like. Sure it had its ups and downs, but he loved every moment he got to hold her hand, kiss her, touch her in ways he didn't get to do as her friend. He loved their banter, the flirty tone their conversations sometimes got, that proud smirk she would show him when she knew she was driving him crazy.

"Don't give up yet." Arnold finally spoke when they had gone inside a classroom. It was the same one Helga had pulled him into, back when all she seemed to want to do was kiss him. He had a feeling that wasn't her goal this time. "I know that I've messed up. I—I know that we're both still trying to figure all of this out, but we're getting there! I know it might not feel like that right now, but we've been through worse, haven't we? E—Even before we started dating. No matter what happened, no matter who came between us, my parents, Zoe and Zac, anyone! We're not going to be the reason this doesn't work, I won't let that happen! I promise to be better. I promise to try to understand how you feel. I promise… to do whatever you need, just don't end this now!"

"Arnold." Helga whispered as she turned around to look at him, but he couldn't bring himself to look back at her.

He was being pathetic and he knew it. He just didn't care. He needed Helga to know how much he needed her, how much she meant to him, how much he wanted this to work between them. He was willing to do and say just about anything if he believed it would make her stay.

"Arnold." Helga repeated.

"Please, just tell me what to do!"

"Arnold!" Helga finally screamed at the top of her lungs, the windows behind her almost breaking from the sound.

Arnold flinched and forced himself to look at her. The intensity of those blue eyes never ceased to amaze him. How was there room for so many feelings swiveling around inside something so small? Arnold let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, continuing to wait for whatever she was going to say. When she sighed, the fear returned to him.

"You are… insufferable."

Arnold swallowed a lump in his throat. "I know."

"So am I though." Helga said while smiling softly. "Why are you so insecure, I don't get it? I mean, I do, but not really. I get that our situations are different. And I know that you… probably have more to lose than I do… but what makes you think that you're gonna get rid of me that easily?"

Arnold's shoulders stiffened.

Helga took a deep breath. "Let me make just one thing perfectly clear, Football Head." she chided. "There's nothing you can do at this point that's going to make me leave you."

Arnold's shoulders slumped in shock.

"What I mean by that isn't that I won't ever get angry with you. I'm still a human, but I can't imagine not having your near me. We grew up together after all, and you've helped me through so much. I always felt really alone, but since this whole thing happened, I've slowly realized that I never really was alone… You were always there, even if I didn't want you to be. When I was trying to get Miriam to divorce Bob, when she finally did and I almost choked him, when she had to fight for custody of me… You were there, every step of the way, and you're still here. I don't get why, but I know that you're a constant in my life. And that makes me feel… safe. I probably trust you more than Miriam or Olga."

Arnold didn't know what to say. Helga had never spoken so openly and honestly before. He had no idea she felt that strongly about him, no idea that she trusted him that much. Luckily, he didn't get the chance to speak at all.

Helga scratched her neck awkwardly. "I love them, but… they're not the most stable people. And I'm not either. But you _are_ … Despite all the shit you've been through, you've never changed. You're still the annoying, idealistic boy I met when we were kids. And you still drive me insane, but you also keep me calm." She took a deep breath once more and exhaled slowly. "What I'm trying to say is… I need you, Arnold. So… stop worrying that I'm going to leave you."

Arnold had never felt more choked up. What could he even say after all that? She had done the one thing he thought she would never do; opened up to him completely. She had even told him she trusted and needed him more than her family, she might as well have told him she loved him. She hadn't, but it was there, in-between the lines. He couldn't help but let out a sob, and he put his hand up to his eye to stop the tear threatening to fall.

He could hear Helga chuckling as she approached him and wiped away the tear falling down his other cheek. "You are _such_ a girl."

"And you are such a boy!" Arnold cracked, but the aggravation in his voice surrendered to his sobs.

Helga laughed heartily while she wrapped her arms over his shoulders. He wrapped his own arms around her waist and cuddled his face into the crook of her neck. He inhaled her scent, still unsure what exactly it was she smelled of. Maybe she didn't smell of anything else besides Helga.

"I missed you, Angel."

Helga sputtered at the nickname and leaned back. "I'm never gonna get used to that."

"Pretty sure you've thought that about a lot of things." The blonde boy argued and kissed her to prove his point.

Helga kissed back for a moment before she remembered something. "Oh, right!" she said with her lips still against his and went to open his shirt.

"H—Helga?" Arnold babbled in shock, but made no move to stop her. He was confused, but not an idiot.

Once Helga had open the shirt, she stepped back to look at his torso. "Wow… just how much have you been working out for the last month?"

Arnold wasn't exactly toned. Not quite yet. But there was a clear difference from the simple thin torso she remembered to what she was looking at now.

Arnold crossed his arms, feeling suddenly embarrassed at the physical proof of his recent sexual frustration. "I don't want to answer that…"

"Fine, I'll just keep staring at you then." Helga teased. "I never thought I'd like looking at someone's body, but wow."

Arnold chuckled awkwardly. "Ok, ok, can I button my shirt now?" he asked, but started buttoning it without an answer.

"You don't know how to take the chance when you get it, do you?"

"Huh?"

With a smirk grazing her features, Helga stepped up to Arnold until she was inches away from him. While looking down, so her blue eyes were hidden behind her eyelashes, she placed her fingers on his stomach. She felt his muscles twitch, but he didn't move away from her.

"Your hands are cold."

"Warm them up then."

"Helga!" Arnold laughed at the flirtatious tone in her voice and let her kiss him. He put his hands on her arms, feeling her move her hands up and down his chest as if trying to remember every inch of it.

If this is what he'd get for taking a chance when he got it… maybe he could learn to take more chances.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: There's about two, maybe three, chapters left for this story. It was originally going to have about six chapters more, but I'm going to have to be very honest and admit that I'm not as inspired for this story as I have been. While the main reason is of course school, a big reason for the slow updates is also due to my lack of inspiration. So I decided to cut anything away from the story that wasn't necessary. This may disappoint some and relieve others. I've chosen to do this because I'm honestly afraid of never finishing this story if I try to force myself to write every single idea I had for this story. I'd like to try and finish this before my third semester starts by September and to do that, I felt like I had to cut off some stuff. I hope people understand and will still look forward to my new stories in the future :)**

 **My next story will, by the way, be something totally new from me. Which I know some people will be excited about (because I've actually had several people suggesting writing something with this couple to me) and others will of course be disappointed that it's not a new Shortaki story. Don't misunderstand, I'm not leaving Shortaki behind, but I do want to experiment with other ships and I feel like it's time I do just that :)**


	21. I know I don't need you

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the former chapter:** _ **After Arnold and Helga's most recent sexual development in their relationship, the blondes needed some space from each other in order to get their minds back in order. In early spring, Helga had finally started to understand just how much she had changed and was continuing to change. So she told Arnold that he couldn't do anything at this point that would make her leave him, she simply needed him too much. And so the blondes entered the most happy and comfortable period of their relationship. Or so it would seem.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note:** **Ey, two months later people get another chapter x'D I promise the next chapter, the ending of this story, will be done faster :P**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 21: I know I don't need you

"I finally got to send my college applications yesterday." Sheena sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I'm so glad that's over."

"Yeah, but now it's a waiting game. I'm so nervous." Nadine muttered.

"I just hope I get in _somewhere_." Harold muttered while Patty smiled at him. "Are you sure you want to go to a community college with me?"

"For the last time, yes! Too late now anyways." Patty chuckled.

"Hey… what have you two done about colleges?" Gerald asked the two blondes.

That caught the attention of everyone. There had been this unspoken rule that since Arnold and Helga themselves hadn't been talking, no one else talked about them either. No one really knew about Arnold and Helga's college plans either. And now they wondered, did they know each other's college plans? After all, their silent treatment of each other had been around the time when college applications were top priority. The blonde couple looked at each other, neither of them wanting to be the first to admit what they both knew.

"I mean… you _are_ going to the same college, right?"

No, they weren't. And that had always been the one thing they couldn't talk about. It had been this black cloud hovering above them since they were old enough to know what college was, and to appreciate what living in the same town meant for their relationship. They had grown up together, being right within walking distance of each other their whole lives. The thought of that changing scared them both equally and so, they had silently agreed to never talk about it. That time that sorrow.

Unfortunately, time had caught up to them and was showing its ugly face. In just a few months, it was time to move to college and while they had no idea where the other one was going, they knew they weren't going to the same college. They had very different career goals and while they might have been able to find a college they'd both like, they hadn't been in a position to talk about it when the deadlines for college applications were approaching.

"Never mind that!" Nadine insisted and turned his attention to Rhonda. "Weren't you, uh… gonna have a party or something?"

Rhonda was confused for a moment before she understood what her best friend was trying to do. "Oh! Yeah, of course, always!"

Never had Helga felt grateful towards the self-announced party queen. She and Arnold sent each other one last look, agreeing to deal with the situation later.

"It's gonna be this Saturday and it's gonna be spring-themed! So, wear your frilly skirts, girls!"

"Not happening." Helga dismissed bluntly. "I can wear my new leather skirt, but it's not getting any better than that."

"Ooh, leather skirt, huh?" Sid cooed and nudged his elbow against Arnold. "We're _all_ looking forward to that, aren't we?"

"He's already seen it, bucko."

Sid looked at Arnold with betrayal in his eyes. "Lucky bastard!"

"I _am_ her boyfriend." Arnold pointed out with a glimmer of pride in his eyes.

"Helga." Sheena whispered and just like that, the classroom was gender-divided. "Do you think this is you and Arnold's chance to take things a step further?"

Helga blushed at the blunt question. "Wow, Sheena, you sure don't beat around the bush, do you?" the blonde asked to which the tall brunette simply shrugged. Helga looked over her shoulder towards the boys, specifically the blonde one. "I… think I'm just gonna focus on getting drunk. It's been a while."

Rhonda cooed dramatically. "Careful. Maybe Arnold will take advantage of you." She joked, laughing heartily at the absurdity. It was only Patty and Phoebe who knew the details of the blondes' recent situation, and they helped each other keep their snickers down.

Helga's small, sweet blush developed into a tomato red color as the events from the last party spiraled through her head. She could suddenly remember everything so clearly. Arnold's warm, big hands on her, his breath tickling her neck, the way he had made her feel. Those feelings she'd never had before and she didn't know how to deal with. Dr. Bliss' suggestions had only served to confuse her more. Attempting to watch gentle, sweet, love-making scenes from movies only made her feel this awkward tension that much stronger. Her imagination had kicked away her logic and she got vivid images in her head of her and Arnold in those situations. And that made her feel even stranger.

"Having an internal battle?" Patty's voice asked, pulling Helga out of her web of dirty thoughts.

"I'm still balancing on a thin line here, but… I think I'm slowly starting to tilt to one side."

"My, Helga, are you saying that something might actually happen between you two? Do you finally trust him?" Phoebe asked excitedly.

Helga looked towards Arnold again. "He's never given me a reason not to trust him."

Patty and Phoebe looked at each other, silently questioning whether a certain event shouldn't have made her trust him a little less. But the fact that it didn't was a good thing, an amazing thing even. It proved how far Helga and Arnold had gotten. And that they would soon get even further.

* * *

Helga kept the promise to herself and let loose at Rhonda's spring party. Despite her mother's former alcoholism, Helga did enjoy the feeling of being drunk. The taste of alcohol, the buzz, the warmth in her chest, the odd feeling of everything being alright. It helped her forget the college situation between her and Arnold. The thought of spending the next few years away from him was enough reason to drink as much as she could that night. They were finally at a really good, comfortable place. Why did graduation have to approach so quickly?

"You having fun?"

Helga leaned back in her seat, all the way, until she could see Arnold upside-down above her. She gave a goofy grin. "Are you?"

Arnold gave an awkward laugh, his own intoxication shining through, though he wasn't as drunk as Helga was. "Yeah, but I'm also getting a little tired."

"I'm not tired at all…" Helga drawled thoughtfully before her smile turned into a wicked smirk. "But dance with me one last time and we can take a cab together."

Arnold chugged down the rest of his glass, put it away and took her hand. "Deal." He agreed while she chugged down the rest of her glass as well. After putting it next to his, she jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around him. Laughing, he led her to the dancefloor and they swayed around for a bit.

"I like this song…" Helga whispered in Arnold's ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

"Yeah? I haven't heard it before."

"I hadn't either, until recently." Helga chuckled and started singing along. " _I know we've been friends forever, but now I think I'm feeling something totally new_."

Arnold snorted in awkward happiness. "And you call _me_ cheesy?" he joked, trying to ignore how happy it made him hearing her sing those words.

"I'm only cheesy when I'm drunk!" Helga insisted with a signature giggle she only ever made while intoxicated.

The blonde kept singing along softly to lyrics that seemed to hit closer and closer to home. Arnold was staring at her, but at some point she started to find his tie more interesting than his eyes. She kept singing, but refused to meet his eyes, her flushed skin turning redder from the attention she knew her singing these lyrics were getting.

" _Could it be you, and I never imagined? Could it be suddenly I'm falling for you? Could it be you were right here beside me, and I never knew? Could it be that it's true that it's_ —"

At some point during the last lyrics, Helga had shared eye contact with Arnold. It had been for a brief moment, but it didn't take any longer than that for him to understand that she was hearing the similarities between the lyrics and their own relationship too. She meant every word she sang and that knowledge sent a myriad of intense feelings through him that all manifested into the urge to kiss her. She gasped at the interruption, but put her hand on his neck and pulled him closer. She reciprocated the kiss with equal fervor and somehow, he could feel a hint of a promise in there. She was the one to stop the kiss, and he reluctantly pulled away, until she whispered in his ear.

"Take me home."

Arnold just nodded. The blondes waved goodbye to their friends, absentmindedly, and left Rhonda's house. On the way, Arnold had contacted a cab and they only had to wait for a few minutes before it was there to pick them up. Even though they wanted to, the blonde couple didn't give into their urges while in the cab. They kept touching each other, but kept it to a minimum. The occasional fingertips on the thigh, hot breath on their neck or a small peck kept the flame going while they waited to reach Helga's apartment.

Helga stepped outside into the lukewarm air which was a stark contrast to how hot she felt. She cast a seductive glance over her shoulder, hurrying Arnold in paying the cab driver. After telling him to keep the change, cause he really didn't have the patience to wait much longer, Arnold jumped out of the car and followed Helga up the stairs. She had gotten a head start and was already unlocking the door. He snuck up on her, causing her to giggle when he started kissing her shoulder.

"I really do like that skirt…" Arnold whispered while putting his hand on her stocking-clad thighs.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Helga panted and turned around, pulling Arnold into the apartment with her.

The blonde girl kicked the door closed, flexing off her sandals in the process. The blonde boy followed suit, kicking off his shoes while trying to continue kissing her. She stepped away from him though, swaying her hips while getting her coat off. Arnold made a sound that could only be described as audible manifestation of sexual frustration while he took off his own coat. While trying to wiggle out of it, Helga put her hands on his cheeks and kissed him, thoroughly distracting him from his initial task. With a drunken giggle, she pulled his coat off and his hands instantly went to her hips. She dragged him with her to the couch, but turned them around and pushed him. He landed on the couch with a soft thud, watching her hungrily while she sat on his lap.

The kiss that followed was softer somehow. Arnold tangled his fingers into Helga's hair, massaging her scalp and neck while biting her lip sweetly. Helga played with the buttons on Arnold's dress shirt, opening them one by one, while willing herself to breathe slower. When the air hit his stomach, Arnold flinched in surprise, not having noticed that she was opening his shirt. Tender fingers caressed his chest, tips trailing along the muscles underneath. Despite every fiber of his being telling him not to worry, Arnold put his hands on Helga's arms and pushed her back gently.

"Helga… how, uh… how far exactly are you planning on taking this?"

Blue eyes blinked slowly, a reminder of the intoxication behind them. A languid smile spread on Helga's face, and she looked at him through her eyelashes. "All the way?" she suggested and pecked his lips. Arnold's eyebrows furrowed and he forced himself to push her away once more. "Come on, Arnold, shouldn't we do this while I have the guts?"

That made up Arnold's mind and he shook his head vigilantly. When Helga was about to look away, a hurt look in her eyes, he brought her back into a kiss. They parted after a long, tender moment and Helga blew a raspberry at him.

"You're sending mixed signals, you know."

"Helga, I… I want to do this, of course I do."

"Then why—"

"But you're drunk. And so am I, and… I don't want to do it like that. We only have _one_ first time, I don't want to mess anything up."

Helga looked away, a pensive look on her face. "I'm scared of that too…" she finally confessed. "I'm still scared of things changing."

Arnold opened his mouth, but shut it again, changing his mind on what to say. "Everything has been changing all year."

"Yeah, but we're still together… What I'm most afraid of is not having you in my life. I can live with everything else, but not that."

"You're not going to lose me."

"You can't promise that."

"Oh, yes, I can."

"Arnold—"

"Did I tell you that I tried falling out of love with you at one point?" Arnold interrupted. The blonde girl, still sitting on his lap, stared at him. "I tried… I really did. When I couldn't, the other boys told me to stop being friends with you. But I just couldn't… and I realized that my friendship with you, my entire relationship with you, it wasn't a matter of romantic or platonic feelings. I… _need_ you. No matter what kind of relationship we have, I need you in my life. Nothing means as much to me as that does."

"Me too!" Helga cried and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I need you too, Arnold! More than anything. I really, really do!"

Arnold sighed happily and put his hands on her back, holding her closely. "You really are drunk."

"This isn't the alcohol talking!" Helga insisted, but her voice was still slurred. "I keep hearing these horror stories about best friends who have sex and then they can't be normal around each other anymore, and I was so scared of that, but… I don't think I am anymore. We're not just best friends, we're Arnold and Helga!"

Arnold laughed heartily at that. "Yeah. We're Arnold and Helga." He agreed and let her sit back. She started kissing him again and despite the moan of pleasure that immediately escaped his lips, he nudged her away from him.

Helga shook her head in disbelief at his actions, but grinned at him and pecked his lips once more before getting off the couch. "You want to stay over?"

"Uh… I probably shouldn't."

Helga nodded in understanding, a knowing smirk gracing her features. She watched as he got up and started buttoning his shirt again. She kept stalking him with her eyes as he got his coat and shoes, getting ready to leave. She had the words on her tongue, she was just waiting for the right moment. When he opened the door, she called his name. He turned around, already in the hallway, and was met with her lips once more. She held herself against the doorframe, still smirking.

"Just so you know… I didn't just want to have sex tonight because I'm drunk…"

Arnold blinked. _Am I an idiot?_ He asked himself just before she pulled him by his neck, giving him one last kiss-goodbye and then closed the door gently. _Yes, I'm an idiot._

* * *

"What do we do about this?"

The almost graduated high school seniors were all huddled together inside the classroom, looking at an article on Rhonda's phone. The headline had caught her attention and she had read the article out loud for them, resulting in the current conversation.

"We can't let her see this." Sheena insisted, referring to the one classmate still missing.

"She's gonna find out about it herself, isn't she?" Nadine asked. "It's better if she finds out with us than, you know, she finds out on her own."

"I agree with Nadine." Patty concurred. "Better she finds out while we're here."

Phoebe hummed thoughtfully. "What's your take on this, Arnold?"

Arnold took Rhonda's phone, eyes scanning the headline once more. "I—"

"I'm sorry I'm late, I'm—Oh, thank fucking god, he's not here." Helga said, stumbling into the room, but calming down when she saw the teacher hadn't arrived. "Three cheers for alcoholic teachers. Better than parents at least."

Helga didn't notice the tense atmosphere in the room until she had put her bag on the ground and turned to look at her classmates. She quirked an eyebrow, looking from one face to another. She noticed Arnold holding a light pink in his phone she recognized as Rhonda's. His eyes caught hers before she approached them and took the phone. Something had told her she should mentally prepare herself, but when the headline jumped at her on the screen, she felt herself stop breathing. Everyone waited while she kept reading, but when she was done, all she did was return the phone to Rhonda. She was about to head towards her seat, but then changed her mind and looked at the others again.

"What am I supposed to think right now?"

"Nothing." Patty didn't hesitate to answer. "Now you know and that's it. You don't need to do anything else."

"I agree, ever so much." Lila said, nodding eagerly. "It's not worth thinking about."

Slowly, one by one, everyone agreed with Patty's statement. All but one. The two blondes looked at each other, one awaiting the other's reaction.

"I think you should go."

A domino-like effect spread amongst the teenagers. Everything ranging from shock to anger to utter confusion filled the room as they disagreed with Arnold, insisting Helga shouldn't do anything about the new information, that she should just forget about it and keep living her life. While this was happening, the girl in question kept her eyes locked with her boyfriend's, as if sharing their thoughts with each other.

"Why do you think I should go?" Helga finally asked, willing her classmates to be quiet.

"I think it would be good for you." Arnold answered honestly, earning some groans and disagreement from the others. "I'll go with you if you want."

"She'd better not go alone!" Sid insisted, wide-eyed at the thought of the alternative.

"She shouldn't go at all!" Harold insisted. "This is a bad idea."

Despite her friends' words, Helga nodded slowly. "Come with me…" she agreed. "But let me be alone with him. If I'm going to do this… I need to do it myself."

"This is madness!" Gerald keened, holding his hands against his head.

"Helga," Phoebe called gently and put her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Are you sure about this?"

Helga nodded. "Arnold's never been wrong about this. If he thinks it would be best for me to go…" she explained and looked at him. "I trust him."

Arnold gave an encouraging smile, but it was met with a tense one. She trusted him with all her heart… it was Big Bob Pataki she didn't trust.

* * *

"Gerald's right; this is madness." Helga said, tightening her grip on Arnold's hand as she looked at her destination in front of her. "I can't believe this is happening… and it's so close to Hillwood too."

"It's going to be fine."

"The last time I saw him, I tried to kill him. Like, not just something you say, but actually tried to _kill him_."

"You weren't _really_ trying to—OK, I take it back!" Arnold corrected when he felt Helga glaring at him. "Either way, you're here now. It's time to end this. You sure you don't want me to go in with you?"

Helga nodded and gave Arnold's hand one last squeeze before she walked towards the electronics store. She focused on her breathing as she read the big sign above her that made her want to throw up. _Big Bob's Business, he's still as pigheaded as ever_. There were banners hanging around, declaring the upcoming grand opening in just a few days. There were workers around her, finishing the last details of the shop, and one of them called out to her.

"You lost, sweetheart?"

Helga didn't even have it in her to get angry. "I'm looking for Big Bob."

The men snickered. "What, you want to mooch off a cheaper price?"

"I'm his daughter."

"Daughter?" one of the men repeated. "Didn't know he had one."

"I'm shocked. Now, where is he?" Helga asked, this time angrily. The men immediately all pointed in the same direction and Helga walked past them, ignoring the comments about how she definitely had the same scowl as her dad did.

Helga heard him before she saw him; Big Bob Pataki. His voice unmistakable; loud, booming, throwing orders left and right. She took a deep breath, but it didn't help. She put a hand over her heart, clenching her blouse. Despite the anxiety seeping inside her, she kept her determined stride towards the barking man. Her hand felt clammy against her chest so she wiped it on her pants before she finally had to make herself stop. She was right behind him, staring at his broad shoulders. He was as burly as ever, his hair grayer than she remembered. The neck she had tried to strangle the last time she saw him seemed thicker somehow. The morbid part of her brain wondered if she could still wrap her hands around it.

"Uh, sir?" one of the workers said and pointed in Helga's direction.

"What?" Bob growled and turned around.

He looked down at Helga, practically jumping backwards at the sight of her. She flinched herself when she saw him. Her eyes landed on the throat she had tried to strangle, and she wondered if her brain was playing a trick on her or if there really was a light scar on his neck. She forced herself to look into his eyes, his big blue eyes, just one of the features she had inherited from him. She looked less like him, now that he was older, but the similarities were still there; she couldn't deny he was her father, try as she might. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stood up straight as much as she could, kicking herself that she wasn't as tall as he was, so she had to look up at him, and he down at her.

"Helga, what… are you doing here?"

 _I guess that's as good a question as any._ She thought and rolled her shoulder. "I saw the article…"

"That… doesn't explain why you're here."

"I… don't know why I'm here. I can't remember." Helga answered half-truthfully. Seeing him again drew forth a lot of old, buried feelings and she couldn't help the sneer that spread on her face. "No, I really can't remember why I came here. Goodbye."

"Wait, Helga." Bob said, successfully surprising and stopping her in her stride. "Since you're here… want to see the place?"

Helga stared at him with eyes as wide as tea cups. _What is this?_ She thought even as she nodded and followed him. Bob spoke awkwardly for the first few minutes, but eventually relaxed as he showed Helga around, telling her about the place. Sometimes he sounded like a salesman, other times like a distant relative showing off. Helga wasn't listening though, her mind was too baffled by the surrealism of the situation. This was a man who had made her life a living hell, one of the biggest reasons for her anxiety and misandry, and she had tried to strangle him the last time she saw him. Now she was strolling around his shop, almost being friendly and casual with him. And she couldn't figure out if it was because she had changed… or he had. _What is this?_

"I tried killing you the last time I saw you." Helga interrupted, unsure what Bob had just been saying.

Bob's features became expressionless. "Trust me, I remember." He said as his hand automatically went up towards his neck. "Gave me a helluva bruise too."

"Then why are you… Why are we…" Helga stuttered and finally shook her head in frustration. "Why are we just walking around here, looking at your new shop? What the actual fuck is this?"

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!" Bob said in a voice Helga knew too well. "Who taught you to talk like that? It couldn't have been Miriam, she never swears."

Helga gawked at Bob. "I'm… so confused." She admitted. "Why are you being so… and why am _I_ being so… why are we being so normal? Nothing about this is normal, why are we talking like nothing ever changed?"

"What did you expect, Helga? A changed man?"

"No, I expected a _reaction_. A… You know what, I don't know what I was expecting. I just know that I didn't expect to feel so… normal with you. I've hated you for so long."

Bob didn't do anything for a long moment before he nodded softly. "I know that."

"Uh… good on you." Helga mumbled and started massaging her temples. _What am I supposed to do here…?_

"How is… How are they?" Bob suddenly asked. Helga looked at him in confusion. "Miriam and Olga?"

"Oh… Miriam is sober. And has a job." Helga explained and Bob nodded attentively. "And Olga is married to a man who beats her up."

Bob's eyes widened. "What?! And you're letting that happen?"

" _Me_?! Why are you blaming me?!"

"You've always been the one to steer us all in the right direction, Helga! I could count on you to take Miriam's bottles away from her, and keep Olga off bad men!"

"Like her dear daddy?"

"Yes!" Bob shouted. Helga reeled back in shock. "You were always the sane one in our family, you're not actually letting her stay with that man, are you?"

Helga had to force the shock away so she could answer. "No, I was half-lying… He _was_ hurting her, but she had an accident and that woke him up. He hasn't hurt her since."

Bob sighed in relief, running his hand through his hair. "For a moment there, I thought you lost your touch, Helga."

"What touch?"

"You know."

"I don't."

"Your touch!"

"What touch? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know, your touch with people." Bob stated and Helga stared at him as if he were insane. "Like I said before, you have a way with people. You… keep them real."

"Are you mixing me up with Arnold now?"

Bob shook his head. "Naw, that kid is good and smart enough, but he's _too_ good and smart. You tell people it like it is and don't sprinkle sugar on it like he does."

"Are you… Are you actually complimenting me?" Helga asked, but then put her hands up in defense. "Don't answer, this is too weird to begin with. I'm… I'm going home before I pass out."

"You still do that sometimes?"

Helga opened her mouth as if to answer, but she just couldn't. Somehow, for some reason, she hadn't expected Bob to remember anything about her. Everything had always been about Olga, she was his precious baby and Helga was always cast aside. She didn't think he ever cared enough to remember those things. He never remembered her strawberry allergy, but for some reason he knew about her fainting tendencies and could compliment her on something? This was all too weird, and she wanted to go home. She could actually feel herself getting a bit dizzy as they walked towards the street.

"He didn't dare let you go alone, did he?"

Helga looked up, her eyes catching Arnold on the other side of the street, waving meekly at her, reminding her he was right there if she needed him. She smiled. "He's the one who convinced me to come here. So be grateful."

"I am." Bob replied, but coughed awkwardly right after. "It was good to… get an update on you all."

"Right…" Helga muttered, unsure what to do now. Shaking his hand felt weird, and hugging was out of the question. What was left, finger guns? She lifted her hand, making an awkward wave. "Good luck with the store…"

"Yeah, right, uh… Good luck with the exams." Bob replied, equally awkward, and looked away as Helga started walking across the road. "Helga!"

The blonde girl flinched as her name was called. She turned around slowly, still standing in the middle of the road, but kept her ears perked so she didn't have a repeat of her accident back in October. Even without looking, she knew Arnold was keeping an eye out for cars as well. She stood there, caught between the man who gave her life and the boy who made her want to live. Caught between polar opposites, one with only bad memories and another with only good. Still in the middle of the road because Bob was taking his sweet time saying whatever he wanted to say.

"Do better than your mom and sister." Bob finally said, a weird type of hurt in his eyes.

Helga felt her heart clench, despite her not understanding why. All the hatred she'd bottle up inside her, for all these years, only to be shown that even he could change. At least enough to have made these few minutes tolerable. Or perhaps she had changed? What he just said, his last words to her, from father to daughter… She couldn't help but think that even when he was encouraging her, he was pushing his ambitions on her. He wouldn't be Big Bob Pataki if he didn't though and so, she gave him an assured smile.

"I already did." She promised and then walked the rest of the way back to Arnold, taking his hand for good measure.

Both blondes looked back towards the store, towards the man who was just standing there, his hands in his pockets. He gave a nod and Helga responded the same way. He then turned around and walked back into his store, and left his daughter with a strange type of closure she never thought was possible.

"How are you feeling?"

Helga took a deep breath. "Confused. Relieved. Disappointed. A lot of things." She whispered and looked at him. "But happy that I did this. You never fail to make me do what I need to do."

Arnold smiled relieved and started walking with her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I wouldn't know what to say. Let me collect my thoughts first and I'll tell you later…" Helga replied and looked up at the sky. "What am I gonna do when we go to different colleges and you won't be there to guide me?"

"You talking to me or God?" Arnold joked.

"Naw, if that was the case I'd be looking down." Helga jeered and turned her head downwards, causing her boyfriend to lift her chin up in an almost-panic.

"Helga!" he scolded, but couldn't help but laugh with her. "You can make your own choices, Helga, you don't need me to guide you."

"I know I don't _need_ you… except I do."

Arnold smiled warmly. "I thought we made a silent agreement not to talk about college yet?"

"I know… I just… wanted to say that I think it's going to be weird. Even if this year hadn't changed us, we've still always been together and now we… won't. It's hard to wrap my head around that."

"Then don't try to. Not yet." Arnold insisted.

"But—"

Arnold hushed her and pulled her in for a kiss. She sighed through her nose, tangling her fingers in his. She put her other hand on his scalp, grabbing his locks. He groaned against her lips, thoroughly enjoying the rough treatment.

"Finally something normal today." She whispered against his lips. They chuckled together and went in for another kiss, pushing the college talk away yet again.

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note:** **I'm trying to figure out whether the final part of the story should be one "long" chapter or two smaller ones. My usual quota on a chapter is a minimum of 5k, and I have a hard time imagining limiting myself to 5k with the finale of this story, but I don't think 10k is realistic either, so I'm wondering if one long chapter or two shorts ones is better x'D I think I'll try writing the whole thing and then decide after that.**


	22. I dare you to love me

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story.**

 **They all belong to their rightful owner: Craig Bartlett.**

 **Title: "Lovely misandry"**

 **In the former chapter:** _ **Prom is on its way and that means college applications have officially been sent. Due to their silent treatment of each other, Arnold and Helga were unaware which colleges either of them had sent applications to. Despite the urgency of the situation, they decided to leave the college talk for later.**_

 _ **When her classmates found an article of her dad's new grand shop opening, Helga were encouraged by Arnold to go and see him for the first time since her parents' divorce. The lack of drama confused Helga and she returned to Arnold, after talking to her dad, confused, relieved and disappointed all at the same time.**_

 **Author's 1** **st** **note: I am so sorry that this has taken so long, I can't even blame it on the length of the chapter, I've just been REALLY unmotivated to write this final chapter. I hate to admit that, but I'd rather be honest about it than give some half-asses, fake excuse. I'm glad this is finally finished, I hope the conclusion is satisfactory to people even though I experimented with a different way of handling certain scenes ;)**

 **[Please notify me if you notice any grammar mistakes. This isn't my first language, so there's bound to be mistakes.]**

* * *

Chapter 22: I dare you to love me

"You know… most people are _happy_ after the exams are over."

"Yeah, and when prom is so close too."

"But then there's you two…"

The gang were currently at the park, in the middle of a one-way conversation with the blonde couple. They were trying to cheer them up, but failing miserably. Exams were indeed over, and while both blondes did well, exams being over meant school was practically over. Prom and graduation were approaching and while happy events, it also meant the end of a chapter in their lives. And the end of life as they knew it. That was scary for them all, but especially for the two blondes who still didn't know how to tackle being away from each other on their designated colleges. They had yet to approach the subject, procrastinating to the best of their abilities.

Arnold was probably the one who felt the most torn; he had been dreaming of attending prom with Helga as his girlfriend since he even knew what prom was. That was finally coming true, and she had even agreed on his idea about him wearing a pink tie and her wearing a blue dress. He and Helga had never been better, except for this black cloud constantly hovering above them. And that led him back to why he was torn; the thought of being away from Helga, his best friend, was downright surreal. It was a painful thought and he couldn't shake it off no matter how hard he tried.

"You know…" Patty whispered to Arnold and he looked up at her. "Sometimes it's not the butterflies that yell you that you're in love… but the pain."

Arnold blinked. "That's… beautiful… and really sad."

"I can't remember who said it, but it really resonates, right?" Patty asked with a sympathetic smile.

"Uh-huh." Arnold huffed and sighed, earning a pat from Patty. He then frowned determinately. "I'm not gonna spend my last days in Hillwood moping."

Helga overheard Arnold's small outburst. "Yeah, no, that seems more like my thing than yours."

Arnold gave the best smile he could muster. "Come on, Helga. Is this really how we want to end this?"

"The key word is _end_ , Arnold. This is truly the end."

"Oh, what a drama queen!" Rhonda bellowed ironically dramatically.

Helga blinked, her eyes growing almost twice in size. "Did Rhonda just call me a drama queen?" she asked, earning nods from her peers. "Fuck it then, I'm not moping anymore."

"There you go!" Gerald praised and held out his fist for her. Helga bumped it semi-awkwardly and smiled.

"Actually… can I talk to you boys? Without you, Arnold."

"Uh… ok?" Arnold answered and watched as his girlfriend left with the other boys, leaving him alone with the girls. He looked at Phoebe. "What was that about?"

Phoebe shrugged innocently, but something told him she knew. She did indeed know, but had promised Helga to keep her mouth shut. And it wasn't in Phoebe's nature to reveal secrets about Helga, not unless it was to the blonde's own benefit. This was a good kind of secret though. She just hoped that the boys could actually help her.

"So, what's up, Drama Queen?" Sid asked, earning a smack on the back of the head from the drama queen in question. "Ow! Chill!"

"Shut up, Sid, I need your help, so don't make me regret this."

"Our help? With what?" Stinky questioned.

Helga sighed, clearly uncomfortable. "I can't figure out what to give Arnold as a graduation present… I want to give it to him on prom night because I want to give it to him alone, and we all know the graduation party is gonna be bananas. So… any ideas?"

Gerald didn't hesitate. "The thing Arnold would want the most—"

"Yeah?"

"Is for you to say you love him."

The blonde girl blinked, silent for a few seconds. "What would be second best?"

"Helga, really?"

"Yes, really." Helga said dismissively and looked at the other boys. "You got anything?"

Gerald rolled his eyes. As far as Helga had gotten, it didn't seem like she was ready to take that step yet. She loved him, they all knew it, she just couldn't bring herself to be quite that vulnerable yet. Gerald understood her, he really did; it wasn't like saying _I love you_ wasn't the most natural thing in her world. He honestly had to wonder if she had ever told or heard it from someone. Arnold hadn't told her he loved her, Gerald knew that much. But Helga knew he loved her anyway, so there was still an imbalance there.

"Well, it _is_ prom night." Sid said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Helga scrunched her nose. "What are you getting at?"

"You know what I'm getting at."

"You're voted off the island. Go join Arnold and the girls." Helga scolded, pointing towards the others.

"Oh, calm your tits, Helga." Sid joked, resulting in Helga shaking her chest violently.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

The boys laughed heartily. They couldn't believe how fun Helga was once she was comfortable with them. Which took some time, mind you, but she really had made a huge progress in the last 9 months. More than she had since they were kids. Arnold was to thank for lightning the flame, but Helga was the one who kept it going and kept pushing herself. She had done this on her own and she was at a much happier place than she ever had been before.

Sid, as requested, joined Arnold and the girls. "Your girl kicked me out of the meeting."

"What did you do?"

"Sorry, dude, can't say. Helga is being secretive for a reason."

Arnold smiled. Sid could be a real slime ball, but he was a good-hearted, loyal slime ball. "Fair enough."

"Speaking of secrets… you, uh, got anything special planned for the special night?" Sid asked, earning eyerolls from the girls.

"You mean prom?" Arnold confirmed and Sid nodded. "Well… I just want to make it a really good night for me and Helga."

"And how are you gonna do that?" Sid pressed.

Arnold's eyebrows knitted together. "I think I know why Helga kicked you out."

"Oh, come on, Arnold! It's your man Sid, you can be honest. You've fantasized about doing it on prom night, haven't you?"

Arnold didn't answer. Mostly because he didn't have a very gentlemanly response. Sid was right; prom night was, for many couples, the perfect excuse to have sex. It was a big party, you'd have a lot of fun and then go have a different kind of fun later. It was kind of romantic if you did it right too. And with the way things were going, there was a pretty good chance at it happening. Helga had outright said she was comfortable with it now, and Arnold had been comfortable with it for years. Fantasizing was very different than actual doing though and there were so many things to consider, so many things that could go wrong, and despite Arnold's usual optimism, he couldn't help but worry a lot when it came to Helga. And if this was going to be one of their only chances before going off to college, he didn't want to end it on a bad note.

"Anyway," Sid interrupted Arnold's thoughts and stuck his hand inside his pocket. "I want you to have this. Think of it as a graduation present."

Sid took Arnold's hand in his, and Arnold immediately felt something in his palm. Discreetly, so the girls wouldn't see, he took a look at it and flushed bright red. "Sid, take this back!"

"What, you're not planning on _not_ using one, are you?"

"No, but just… take it back!"

"I did this out of the kindness of my heart! This is a good brand, dude. Lots of lube—"

"Sid, I swear—"

"What the hell are you two doing?" Helga's voice cut through.

Before either boy knew what was happening, she was already right in front of them. Despite his attempt at keeping his hand closed, Helga saw Arnold holding something and grabbed it. She held the small pack between her index and long finger, eyeing it thoughtfully.

"I didn't buy that." Arnold insisted. "I'm not… assuming things."

"You usually sweat like a sinner in church when you lie, so I believe you." Helga answered with a smirk and looked at the pack again. "Though this really _is_ something we need I guess… This is the wrong size though, Sid. They're too small."

Shocked expressions stared at Arnold.

"Wait, how does Helga know that?" Harold asked, tilting his head in a mix of curiosity and confusion.

Now, that surprised Helga. She thought for sure Arnold had told the boys about her little experiment on New Year's Eve. Perhaps only Gerald knew? His face didn't give anything away, so she wasn't sure if even he knew. Either way, this was a good opportunity for her to both tease and give Arnold a little ego boost at the same time.

"Yeah, these are too small." Helga repeated, being very sincere and casual in her comment. She gave Sid the pack again. "If you're gonna give us condoms, do it right."

By now, Arnold knew what Helga was doing and was sending her a glare mixed with genuine amusement. She winked at him before she joined the girls, leaving him to battle off questions from the boys. Both about Helga's knowledge of this and just how big he really was.

* * *

"You two will just look _so_ adorable!" Olga squealed happily, holding a camera in her hand, bouncing on her leg.

"Careful, sweetheart." Robert warned, putting his arm over her shoulders. "You should still be careful on your leg."

Olga rolled her eyes good-heartedly, but she smiled brightly. "You're such a worrywart."

Arnold couldn't help but smile at the display. Knowing how rotten and abusive their relationship had been, he couldn't feel happier for them now. Both of them. Robert had been more serious than anyone had ever thought when he started seeing a therapist and took anger management classes. He had made excellent progress and even though he still had a temper, he never laid his hand on Olga again. Or anyone else for that matter. It was a miracle. A very rare one, but then again, miracles usually were.

Arnold just hoped it lasted, and that nothing was happening behind closed doors. Though Helga would probably find out if something was going on. But now she was going away to college, who was going to notice if Robert started going backwards? Surely not Miriam. With Helga gone, what if Olga ended up getting tangled into the abusive pattern again?

 _Great, I've made myself depressed now_ , Arnold scolded himself. _Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!_

"Well, here she is." Miriam's voice said, causing all of them to turn towards her.

Behind Miriam, stood Helga with her arms awkwardly in front of her lap and her eyes turned away. The blush on her cheeks wasn't makeup and her eyes seemed sparkly even without the slight hint of silver eyeshadow on her eyelids. She was wearing a blue gown with a sweetheart neckline, a silver belt under her chest and the skirt going all the way past her ankles. Somehow Olga had convinced Helga to wear a ballgown type of dress though the skirt was as small as absolute possible. Helga had refused to look fluffy, as she had called it. Miriam had tied her hair up in a messy bun, some of her blonde locks slightly curled to give some bounce and volume.

She looked perfect.

"For crying out loud, someone say something!" Helga's voice cut through the silence, looking pleadingly at Arnold.

The blonde boy immediately stood up from the couch and approached her. "You look beautiful, Helga." He praised earnestly. She rolled her eyes, her expression giving signs of the embarrassment flooding through her. Before she could argue, he showed her the corsage he had gotten her. It carried the flower they had admired together when they first got together; the Gumamela flower.

"Ugh, you absolute dork." Helga groaned, but smiled brightly as he fastened it on her wrist. Once it was secured, he lifted her hand and kissed the back of it gently. The hint of pink on Helga's cheeks grew into a dark red, and her expression was a mix of surprise and glee. A bright light broke the moment and she scowled at her sister. "Olga!"

"You will thank me when you're older and have these kinds of pictures, baby sister." Olga insisted, their mother nodding in agreement. "Now, pose this time!"

"Olga, I swear—"

"It would be nice to have these pictures in college." Arnold interrupted, giving Helga a hopeful look.

"Oh, low blow, Arnold…" Helga mock scolded, rolled her eyes and put on her best toothpaste smile.

"Oh, come on, you can do better than that! Arnold, make her smile for real." Olga requested, readying the camera.

Arnold thought for a few seconds before he simply went to kiss her on the cheek. She snorted through her nose, but a happy giggle left her and Olga snapped a few pictures. Despite her utter shame, Helga kissed Arnold's cheek as well, listening to the clicks from the camera taking pictures. Now that they were both more comfortable, they made some more traditional poses and Olga took quite a few more pictures.

"I'll make sure to send these to you as well, Arnold."

"Thank you, Olga."

"Yeah, hugs and kisses, can we please just go now? Before I regret even telling you guys about Arnold and me."

"We always saw it coming, dear." Miriam asserted with a secretive smile she shared with her oldest daughter.

"Say what now?"

"Let's just go, Helga." Arnold laughed and dragged her by her hand.

"Son of a bitch, how they did they know something I _didn't_?!" Helga complained, but followed Arnold out of the door anyway, right after grabbing her coat. Once they were outside, she stopped him though. "Hold on, I have something for you."

"What?" Arnold said in surprise and watched as Helga lifted up her skirt. "Um… Helga, I'm not opposed or anything, but—"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Football Head." Helga teased playfully.

The blonde pulled out a flower she had hidden safely inside one of the layers in the petticoat. It was a tiger lily, sprayed pink. Arnold stared at it in wonder.

"I asked the boys what you'd like as a graduation present, but"—Helga remembered Gerald's suggestion—"they were all useless. So I asked Nadine and she told me about this flower. It's kinda fake, obviously, but… the sentiment is real." She explained and started putting it into the chest pocket of his coat. "Apparently it means… _I dare you to love me_."

"Well, look at you, Miss Pataki…" Arnold mused, a dazed look on his face. "You can be romantic when you want to."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell anyone and you're dead."

"So, what am I supposed to say when people ask about the flower?"

"That Fairy Fuckmother gave it to you." Helga laughed.

Arnold frowned unamused. "And the moment is gone."

* * *

That moment was indeed gone, but many more were to come that evening. The blonde couple spent their prom mostly hanging out with their friends. Every once in a while, they'd go dancing on their own, chat for a few minutes or sneak out to get some air. But most of the evening was spent reminiscing the years they had all shared, walking down memory lane and being nostalgic. A few games were played and some traditions were followed while others were ignored. The dark cloud hovering above the couple was still there, but it was forgotten for tonight. Especially considering what the end of the evening had in store.

"Goodnight, you guys. Thanks for a great evening." Arnold gushed.

"You too, man." Gerald replied, doing their signature handshake. "Have fun."

Arnold understood the implications of what Gerald said and gave him a crooked smile. "Yeah, you too." Gerald laughed heartily at Arnold's comeback and patted his back.

"Be safe, kids." Sid hooted as he gave Arnold a new pack of condoms.

"Thanks, Sid…" Arnold sputtered, on one hand honestly and on the other hand… very much not.

"Ey, Helga, I got the dotted ones for ya'!"

"The what now?" Helga asked and took the condom pack from Arnold. " _Ribbed for her pleasure…_ Uh, appreciated." She immediately put the condom pack in Arnold's chest pocket. "We're out before Sid gives us more weird shit."

" _Useful_ weird shit!" Sid argued.

"Fair point. Goodnight, guys!" Helga waved at the others and then took Arnold's hand to leave. "What does it mean by _dotted_?"

"Um, it means it has like little… dots or something, I think."

"Yeah, no shit, I mean—"

"It literally means small dots on the condom. It's like… stimulating or something." Arnold explained to the best of his abilities. He wasn't exactly a condom expert. In a way, he was kinda happy Sid had gone out of his way to give them these. Arnold would of course have gotten some himself, but he was grateful he didn't have to.

"Huh." Helga muttered, deciding not to press the subject.

It suddenly felt very real. They were just walking down the street, hand-in-hand, as if nothing big was going to happen soon. But something big was going to happen, and they both knew it. And while the feelings floating inside them weren't the same, they could agree on one thing; they wanted to make this good. If this was going to be their last chance, if this was going to be their only shot, they wanted it to be perfect.

It seemed the weather gods had other ideas though as rain suddenly started pouring down without warning. Helga squealed in equal annoyance and joy. Looking at Arnold who had a shocked expression on his face, she took off her coat and put it over his head. She took his hand and started running with him, laughing as they did so. They found shelter under a bus stop and their laughter slowly subsided as they shook off the water in their hair.

Arnold let Helga's coat fall to his shoulders. "Feels like you're always the one who protects me."

Helga looked at him, panting a bit from running so fast so suddenly. "You protect me too." She insisted, but he didn't seem convinced. "What's so wrong with me protecting you?"

"Nothing!" Arnold insisted, but his face gave him away. "I guess it just makes me feel a little… useless sometimes."

 _This sweet idiot_ , Helga thought while she put her hands on his shoulders, clasping her coat in the process. "Would you call me the protective kind?"

Arnold couldn't help but snort. "No… with the exception of a few people maybe."

"And why is that?" Helga questioned, causing Arnold to look at her pensively. "It's because I only protect the people I really, _really_ care about."

Somehow, someway, Arnold knew Helga was about to say something. Maybe it was the way her eyes were glistening, maybe it was the way she was holding his shoulders so tightly, maybe it was just something in the air along with the rain. Somehow he knew what he was about to hear and he couldn't ever have prepared his heart for it. No matter how many times he had dreamt about it.

"I love you."

Helga felt Arnold's shoulders slump under her hands. A breath, he didn't know he had been holding, left him. He breathed a few times, willing himself to calm down so he could answer her. She just stood there though, smiling sweetly at him. Completely confident and comfortable with what she had just confided in him. To believe she had been so against saying it just a few days ago. Perhaps the words had been roaming around in her brain long enough for them to feel natural.

"I…" the boy whispered, trying to put words into how he was feeling. "I've been planning the perfect way to say it since I was 13 years old, waiting for the perfect moment and then you end up saying it first."

Helga blinked in confusion. "Uh… sorry? Want to pretend I didn't say it?"

"No way!" Arnold raved before he threw his arms over her shoulders, trapping her in a soaring kiss.

Helga barely got to gasp before her mouth was covered by his. She wrapped her arms around his waist, clutching his coat in her nails and feeling a sense of thrill travel through her whole body. She could sense the hormones being overproduced in her system, and all it took was a kiss with so much promise and love in it. Part of her wanted to bask in that feeling a little longer, but her pride and stubbornness made her pull away just a little bit.

With a smile, she whispered: "If you think you're gonna get out of saying it back—"

"I love you too." He interrupted before pulling her back into a kiss. "I love you."

Those words were so natural on his lips and so completely foreign in her ears. He had said sweet things to her before, romantic even, but this sent a shiver through her. She knew he meant it, she knew he meant it before he even said it. She wondered how long he had loved her, when a simple crush turned into undeniable love? When did he know he was always going to see her as not just a girl, but _the_ girl he wanted to spend his life with? How and when did he know all those things, while she was living unaware?

"Let's go to Sunset Arms." Helga whispered against his lips. She felt him nod, his damp hair tickling her face as he did so, before he took her coat off his shoulders. He helped her put it back on, before he took her hand in his and ran down the street.

The boarding house was uncharacteristically quiet. Everyone was sleep from Arnold's parents and grandparents to presumably Mr. Smith. All except for the two blondes, who were now heading up towards Arnold's room. At least until Helga stopped walking. When her boyfriend turned around, she was looking at the bathroom door.

"Can I… be a real girl and care about a stupid thing like showering first?" Helga questioned, refusing to look at Arnold as she did so.

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course… I actually think I might want to be a girl too." Arnold laughed tensely.

"You trying to join me?" Helga joked and headed towards the bathroom.

"No, not as such—"

"Not as such?" Helga repeated, quirking an eyebrow at him. She looked away again, opening the door. "I don't mind."

The words had come out as a whisper, but Arnold heard them just fine. He followed her into the bathroom, only letting go of her hand when she did. A heavy feeling of anticipation hung in the air as the blonde girl turned her back and started undressing. He copied her, lifting his coat off his shoulders and letting it slide down his arms. He hung it on the rack, seeing Helga's hand reach out the same time. The thin straps of her dress allowed it to hang next to his coat and he couldn't help but look at her, while loosening his tie. His hand stilled though, one finger hooked inside his tie, when he saw what she was wearing under her dress. What she had been wearing under it all night, without his knowledge.

"When else am I going to wear this?" Helga chuckled, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I wasn't sure about wearing the negligee, but your face makes it worth it."

"Well… now I can't get my clothes off." Arnold breathed, his eyes scanning that negligee he bought with her around Christmas. "My hands are shaking too much."

Helga looked at his trembling hands. "No kidding. You're shaking more than I am." She observed before approaching him and taking over the task of undressing him. "Since we're gonna shower together… I guess the point of wearing this negligee is kinda… moot."

"I… think it's done its job though." Arnold joked.

"Oh, yeah? And what was its job, Football Head?"

"To… make me excited?" Arnold suggested lamely, trying to pull forth some of that boldness he knew was stored in him. Somewhere.

Helga looked up at him through her long, black eyelashes. "I have a feeling I don't need the negligee for that." She mused before pushing his now opened dress shirt off his arms. She let it fall to the floor, giving him a few small kisses on his lips before turning towards the shower. "Doing this all slow and sweet is just making me more nervous. So get your ass out of those pants and join me in the shower."

Arnold obeyed immediately, in even more hurry once Helga let her negligee fall to the ground. His eyes kept going back and forth between watching the not particularly interesting bathroom floor to her naked form. His heart was hammering in his chest and he knew despite the brave way she had delivered her words, she felt the same way. She stepped into the shower, turned on the water and let the water clean her of any sweat she could have produced during the evening. She closed her eyes, painfully aware of Arnold's presence as he entered the shower as well. After a deep breath, she stepped backwards, letting her back touch his chest.

 _Ah, hell. I had almost hoped his heart was beating faster than mine…_ Helga thought as she felt their hearts start to sync their rhythm. _Well, I'm just going to have to make it beat faster then._

"Arnold, can you wash my back?" the words left Helga's mouth before she even thought about it. Only once they had echoed in the bathroom, did she feel the shame rise up in her.

Arnold chuckled awkwardly. "If I do that… I'm not sure if I can keep my hands to myself."

"I know."

 _OK, where the hell is this coming from?_ Helga thought, the proof of her embarrassment showing as a red tint on her cheeks. _Am I trying to make it worse for Arnold so it's easier for me?_

She could hear Arnold gulp behind her before he went to grab the loofah pad. He put some of the body wash in it, stuck his hand inside it and then started washing Helga's back. She shivered when he first made contact, but relaxed quickly under his tender touch. She made a happy sigh, enjoying the contrast between the rough fabric of the loofah with Arnold's gentle motions. She closed her eyes, sighing once more through her nose and almost felt a little dizzy. She put her hands on the wall, steadying herself.

"You ok?" Arnold asked softly.

"Yeah… it feels really good." The girl chuckled.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm." Helga moaned, sighing once again.

The change in the washing on her back was obvious, its executor encouraged by her compliment. She smiled secretly, enjoying how a few words from her could make him so eager to please her. Was this also one of those things Patty had talked about? The control? Helga enjoyed it, she couldn't deny that. The blonde gasped a bit when the loofah touched her lower back and she took a step closer to the wall. She felt him walk closer to her, since she had stepped away, and she almost felt trapped against the wall. It wasn't a bad feeling though, it almost excited her a little bit that Arnold, in his enthusiasm, would forget himself. She felt him put a hand on her shoulder, presumably to steady himself a bit while the loofah kept roaming around on her back. She looked down at his hand and kissed it softly, causing him to look at her. When their eyes met, she sent him an alluring glance. He whimpered at the lewd sight, smiled and stepped forward. Their lips met in a kiss, the washing briefly forgotten.

Arnold leaned back, smiling at his girlfriend before he wrapped an arm around her waist. He made her step away from the wall, giving him room to put the loofah on her stomach instead. With a gulp, she put her hands on his arms, feeling his travels in the palm of her hands. He kissed her neck and she stretched it delightedly, giving him more room. While continuing slow, stimulating strokes on her stomach and chest, Arnold kissed and sucked the skin on Helga's neck, taking his time to explore, taste and remember every little curve or bump he'd come across. He wanted to be able to close his eyes and imagine every part of her effortlessly.

Especially if he wasn't going to get another chance like this again.

Arnold shook his head, tickling his hair against Helga. _No, don't go there,_ he scolded his brain and gave the neck in front of him a very aggressive lick to pull himself back into the moment.

One of Helga's hands soared back and grabbed him at his thigh, causing him to bite her neck in response. She gasped and dug her nails into his flesh, subconsciously avenging the bite even though she knew she was the one who had caused it. While the loofah got more chest-oriented, Arnold's free hand started roaming more around her lower stomach. He could feel the muscles under her skin, marveling at how strong he knew she was. His hand traveled to her thigh as well, touching as much of it as he could while standing up. He looked at her, wondering why she was so quiet. The face he saw was better than anything he could have ever imagine; parted lips, red, flushed cheeks and he had a feeling it wasn't because of the heat. He licked behind the shell of her ear, successfully drawing out a small whimper from her.

"OK, I think I'm clean." Helga hissed and turned around, grabbing the loofah in the process. "Your turn."

Before Arnold could protest, not that he was planning to, Helga started scrubbing his chest, a bit too roughly. He gasped in surprise and with a small _sorry_ , she calmed her strokes. She washed his chest slowly, watching as the suds spread over his skin, almost as if hypnotized. The way she was looking at him didn't go unnoticed, the way her eyes seemed to be taking mental pictures of his newly muscular chest, how her loofah-less hand seemed to be subconsciously massaging his shoulder. He coughed awkwardly, causing her eyes to drift up towards his face.

"You, uh… you're staring."

"I'm not gonna apologize for that." Helga dismissed and looked back at his chest. "How come… you continued to work out even after we were ok again?"

Arnold chuckled breathlessly. "Probably because of the way you looked at me when you caught me working out in the school yard."

Helga blinked a few times, trying to remember. "How did I look at you?"

"Like… I don't know."

"Yeah, you do."

"Just like… you thought I looked good, that's all."

"I thought that before too, you know."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I'm not blind. You've always been a cute guy."

"That's… not the type of look I meant."

Helga blinked. "Ah… _that_ look. Yeah, I've seen you give _me_ that look too."

"Like I am right now?

"Probably!" Helga giggled though she didn't dare look at him to confirm. "I can't believe I never noticed it."

"I hid it pretty well I guess."

"I'm… sorry you had to do that. And for so long."

"It's alright, Helga. I… never thought I'd get to where I am right now. So, you were worth the wait." Arnold confessed happily.

A big grin spread on his face when he saw how flushed he had made her cheeks. She looked up at him once more, looking more tantalizing than ever to him. He leaned forward and, to his surprise, she was quick to close the space between them. Her hand stilled on his chest, her lips nibbling sweetly on his. They'd had many kisses at this point, many different kinds, everything from passionate to gentle, but this was different. There was a sense of promise in it, urgency, but compassion and tenderness as well. The kiss was somehow very childlike with the same nervousness, but happiness from feeling someone you love's lips on you. Their hands went into each other's hair, her combing his wettened locks and him massaging her scalp. The loofah fell to the floor, neither of the blondes noticing it.

"Are we… Are we done showering?" Helga asked.

"Are we?"

"Yeah."

"OK." Arnold agreed and gave her chin one last kiss before he turned off the water.

The blondes stepped out of the cabin, the male one handing the female a towel. With a meek smile, she put it over her head and gestured for him to dry her hair for her. With a chuckle, he did exactly that, enjoying the way she was practically purring from his touch. She did the same for him and they dried each other off lazily.

"What… do we do now?" Helga asked, causing Arnold to arch an eyebrow. "I mean… do we… just walk to your room in our birthday suits or…?"

"Oh! Uh… if someone wakes up and sees us that'd be pretty awkward, so I guess we should just… take a towel?"

"Yeah, sure. Oh, and bring our clothes of course."

"Yeah."

And with that, the blondes scrambled to wrap their bodies in towels while carrying their clothes to Arnold's room. Once inside, Helga felt a bit unsure about where she should put her clothes. And should she fold them? She wasn't a particularly neat person, but she felt uncharacteristically awkward in the unfamiliar situation.

"You can just, uh… put your clothes on my chair if you want."

"Gotcha." Helga responded, happy that Arnold seemed to have read her mind for once. She put her clothes on the chair, not bothering wasting time folding them, but not just throwing them unceremoniously either. _When in doubt, settle for a compromise._

 _What now?_ Arnold thought, sensing the utter stiffness in the room. Helga was still standing near her clothes, pointlessly readjusting them, probably trying to figure out what to do herself. He looked towards his bed, smiling. "Remember the last time you were in that?"

Helga looked over her shoulder, seeing his bed. "I've been there a lot of times, they all start to blurt together."

"Oh, really?" Arnold implored, not believing her for one second. She shrugged, giving him a sideways glance that told him he was right. "So the last time was just as uneventful as ever?"

"I don't remember anything interesting happening."

Arnold sputtered before resolving to scratching his neck. "Not interesting, huh?"

Helga hummed in mock thoughtfulness. "Let's see… we were totally wasted."

"Cause it was New Year's eve."

"It could have been a school day for all I cared." Helga snorted. "We fell asleep… I woke up in the middle of the night and…"

Helga pondered what to say next. Or whether she had the guts to spill the sentence that was just itching on her tongue. The silent agreement to not speak of this was clearly moot now so…

"I jerked you off."

"Ah, so it wasn't a dream." Arnold concluded after the few seconds of shock at the way she had phrased it. His response earned him a playful glare and he laughed clumsily. "What made you do that anyway?"

"Morbid curiosity." Helga dead-panned. "You were… already like that so, it was just me being, well… curious, I guess."

"Morbidly?"

"Well, what I did was kinda morally gray, so—"

" _Gray_?"

"Don't you dare judge me, Shortman, you haven't exactly been a saint yourself."

Arnold put his hands up in surrender. "I admit that I've been morally gray as well."

"Yeah, for like… _one_ night." Helga huffed, suddenly feeling oddly imbalanced next to him. It wasn't anything new that she was permanently on shaky moral high ground while he was placed safely on a freaking hilltop or something. That had never bothered her, but maybe it did bother her now. Just a little bit.

"I wouldn't say just _one_ night." Arnold confessed. He almost regretted it when Helga sent him a curious stare, but he decided he might as well end the confession. "I… may have thought about both those times… a lot."

"Oh… Yeah, that makes sense I guess." Helga concluded, letting the information process in her mind for a bit. "That reminds me… I think I've asked this before or… maybe I just thought I did, but you've thought of me while you've… you know… right?"

 _What kinda question is that?_ Arnold thought in horror, feeling his cheeks heat up. He sat down on the bed, holding his towel securely to his waist. "Well… I'm a teenage boy and I, uh—"

"Just answer the question, Arnold."

Arnold looked up, surprised by the heated tone in Helga's voice. The eyes she was sending him were intense and he felt like he didn't have a choice in answering, so he nodded.

"I want—No, I need to hear you say it."

Struggling to breathe, Arnold curled his hands into fists and willed his heart to calm itself. "I have thought about you when I… I—I touch myself."

"What do you think about?"

"Nothing. Everything."

"That's not an answer."

"Have some mercy, Helga, you're asking about something that I've kept secret for many years." Arnold pleaded and Helga kept quiet, but still looked at him in a way that made him feel naked. Well, more naked than he already was. "I think… sometimes I just think of you without it being anything specific. I don't… really, I mean… I—I don't think about anything special, I think."

Helga blinked. "You're lying, I can see it."

"Goddammit." Arnold sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, what do you want me to say, Helga? That I imagine you under me? That I would give anything to hear you moan my name because I'm making you feel good? Is that what you want me to say?"

"Well, is it the truth?"

"Yeah!"

"Then yes!" Helga hooted. She held her stomach, continuing to laugh at the childish sourpuss face her boyfriend was making. "Arnold, I'm just… I don't know, this is really new for me. I mean, it's not that long ago that I was thinking of you as a monk. I thought you just weren't interested in love and all that crap, I didn't know it was cause you were crushing on me."

Arnold smiled. "I would probably have stayed loyal to you my whole life if you never found out."

"I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad about that."

Arnold chuckled. "Me neither. I guess I should just be happy that it didn't turn out that way."

"Me too." Helga answered with every ounce of honesty. She truly meant it, she couldn't imagine this not having been the turn of events, no matter how shocking or rocky it had been. Every little event had led up to this point… the point of no return. She couldn't imagine not being with Arnold like this and go back to being friends, it would feel too surreal.

Speaking of surreal… Patty had taken the liberty of having the sex talk with Helga a few days ago. Well, not the traditional kind, Helga didn't need that. But Patty had decided to take it upon her capable shoulders to teach Helga what she knew her friend would enjoy, and what Arnold would enjoy. Patty had managed to convince Helga that the one thing she had promised herself to never do was actually something she really wanted to do. Patty's description of it made it very appealing and Helga couldn't wait to try it… no, really, she didn't want to wait anymore.

Helga took a few quick strides towards Arnold, causing him to flinch when he suddenly saw the white towel in front of him. He looked up at her, smiling in slight confusion. She smiled back at him before she leaned down and planted her lips on him. Her hands landed on his naked thighs, causing him to jerk in surprise before he reciprocated the kiss. He let one hand stay on the towel, feeling a bit anxious about risking it falling down, but used his other hand to caress her cheek. He could feel her going down to her knees though and followed her for as long as he could until he was too confused and had to open his eyes. Helga was indeed on her knees in front of him, her hands still resting on his thighs. He blinked in surprise, his brain reeling from what he couldn't help but assume.

"Uh, Helga?"

"I've never done this before… obviously." Helga started, her eyes shifting between looking at him and at the towel.

 _No way!_ Arnold's mind was truly reeling now, his face blushing scarlet red. He was thankful they hadn't bothered turning on the lights when they talked in cause he really didn't want Helga to see how much even the thought turned him on.

"So… no complaints if I suck, OK?"

"Heh."

Helga rolled eyes, but smiled good-heartedly. "You know what I mean!"

"Sorry, sorry. It's just… Helga, just the thought of you doing this is… turning me on."

Helga's eyes darted towards Arnold's lap, noticing the small bulge growing under the towel. "So I see…" she scoffed with a smirk.

And with that, Helga leaned up to kiss Arnold once more. She put her hand over his, the one that was holding the towel, and rested it there while she kissed his chin. She left a trail of small, sweet kisses from his throat, down his chest and when she reached his waist, she helped him pull away the towel. She wasn't sure where the towel ended, she kept her eyes closed and continued kissing downwards. It wasn't until a gasp hit her ears that she knew she had reached her goal. She kept kissing, unsure where she even really was kissing, until she felt something twitch against her lips.

 _Wait… did that thing really just move?_ Helga thought in confusion, slowing down her kisses as she kept thinking. _I mean, I guess that makes sense… It can't really stand up without moving, can it? Stop thinking so much…_

And that's what Helga did as she kept kissing the area, sneaking one eye open so she knew where she even was. She knew what it looked like, of course she did, but it wasn't like she had actually seen one for real before. So maybe it wasn't that surprising that her eyes sprung open at the sight of Arnold's flesh standing at attention in front of her.

 _Stop staring at it_ , Helga told herself and kissed it again, eliciting a small moan from Arnold. _Yeah, that's what I need to focus on… whatever makes Arnold make those noises_.

Helga did her best to listen to every single noise Arnold made, good or bad, and used them to guide her through this experience. She experimented like Patty had suggested, switching between using her hand or scratching his stomach, trying to both use tongue and moan so she would vibrate around him. It was surprisingly fun to experiment and listen to what Arnold liked and disliked. It was like she was getting to know him a little more, which was a strange thought since she had known him all her life. Part of her thought there wasn't possibly anything she didn't know about him.

"H—Helga, wait!" Arnold groaned and put his hand on her head, causing her to look up at him in mild irritation at being interrupted. "If—If you keep that up… I'm not gonna last long."

Helga sprung up to his eye level. "Really?!" she asked in excitement.

Arnold couldn't help but laugh. "Y—Yeah… you're, uh… really good at it."

"Naw, you're just saying that cause you love me." Helga joked, caressing her nose against his. Despite her words, she seemed formidably happy with herself. "So, uh, what do you wanna do—"

"What do you—"

The blondes looked at each other in surprise before chuckling.

"In sync again, huh?" Arnold noted, scratching his head.

"Well, why stop now?"

"Speaking of…" Arnold whispered gently, putting his hand behind Helga's neck and pulling her into a sweet kiss.

She smiled against his lips and crawled up on the bed with him. He leaned down, pulling her with him, but carefully so she didn't slip. She sat on his lap, and almost immediately flinched at the feeling if their crotches touching. Arnold reacted the same way, but went to grab her towel nonetheless. She let him take it off her, exposing the last part of her he had yet to see properly. He didn't spend long just watching though, throwing the towel away on the floor and pulling her down to his level. She had expected the kiss, but not its location. She made a high-pitched gasp when his mouth touched her breast, kissing and licking it lovingly. He could feel her breathing hard against him so he started caressing small circles on her back to calm her down. She did, but her breathing was still labored.

"A—Arnold!" Helga gasped in a warning tone. "Can we… Shit, can we just please get to the… the, uh—"

"The main course?"

"That's as good a metaphor as any." Helga chuckled and sat up, their crotches connecting again. She clenched and he jerked, their eyes meeting awkwardly. With a gulp, she moved her hips forward in a smooth motion, eliciting a deep groan from the boy underneath her. She did it a few more times, loving the feeling of Arnold digging his fingers into her hips, encouraging harsher movement from her.

"H—Helga, how are we gonna do this?"

That made Helga stop altogether and look at him in confusion. "Uh… don't we only have one way to do this?"

Arnold chuckled. "I mean… do you want to stay where you are or…?"

"Oh, position! Um…" Helga started mumbling to herself thoughtfully. "I think… I think I trust you more than I trust myself right now so… l—let's switch."

"Wow."

"Don't get mushy on me." Helga warned and grinded aggressively on him. "I'll go get the condom."

And with that, Arnold was suddenly left alone and felt very cold without his girlfriend's presence. He watched her trudge towards his shirt, pulling out the condom from his chest pocket and then she was back with him as quickly as she had left.

"Can I do this?"

"Uh, sure. Do you know how?"

"I mean… in theory, yeah. You're not the only one who knows how to use Google."

Arnold rolled his eyes good-heartedly, but his expression changed drastically when Helga opened the condom wrapper with her teeth, ripping it open. "Oh, my god…"

"What?" Helga asked with little interest as she pulled the condom out of the wrapper. "That… is weird-looking. Must be the dots."

"How can you see anything at all in this darkness?"

"Your eyes haven't adjusted yet?" Helga asked while fiddling with the condom.

"Not as much as yours apparently." Arnold retorted, watching as Helga held the condom rather confidently. Within a few seconds, she was testing the fit by stroking him roughly, causing him to gasp in surprise. "Yeah, that feels right."

Helga huffed proudly. With yet another snicker, Arnold pulled her into a kiss and gently maneuvered her around him. He lifted her by the thigh, making sure not to squish it as her back hit the bed. They kissed for a few minutes, letting the feeling of what they were about to do sink in. It was intense and yet reassuring, it was rather indescribable really.

"OK…" Arnold whispered against Helga's lips, causing her to shiver. "I'll go _really_ slowly, ok? I'll go little by little, stop and then continue when you tell me to, ok?"

"OK."

"OK…" Arnold reassured, gave her one last kiss and positioned himself on his knees. They both looked as he used his hand to guide himself towards her, but nodded at each other quickly before he went any further.

Helga took a deep breath when she felt his skin touch hers. She exhaled slowly and when she started to inhale again, he inched inside her, causing her to tense up. She furrowed her eyebrows in determination and nodded. Little by little, literal inch by inch, she could feel him entering her, stretching her in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable way. She willed herself to relax, reminding herself that tensing up only made it worse. Her feet lifted slightly off the mattress when he moved once again and she grimaced.

This was… _not_ pleasurable, but not painful either.

"Alright…" Helga sighed. "You can move again."

"No, I can't." Arnold answered, causing Helga to open her eyes for the first time in the last few minutes. "I'm all the way in."

Helga blinked. "Oh, thank God!" she cried in relief and then her body finally, fully relaxed. They both laughed, tension in the air ebbing away with every breath. "How are _you_ feeling?"

"Overwhelmed." Arnold confessed, a big smile on his face. "I'm… in disbelief."

Helga sighed happily and nodded. "OK, Football Head… Give me all you got."

Arnold arched a curious eyebrow and made one solid thrust, causing Helga to tense up again. He smirked knowingly at her and she looked away in shame.

"After a few minutes of still being gentle." She corrected with a pout.

"There's no rush, Helga." He reminded her, kissing the top of her head. She smiled up at him, nodded and took one more deep breath before he began moving.

The next few minutes were a myriad of feelings and thoughts. Eventually, Arnold and Helga found a steady rhythm and everything became natural. Once in a while, either one of them would do something to break the rhythm, like kissing or touching the other, but mostly they couldn't handle more than what was already happening. When Arnold had called it overwhelming, he hadn't exaggerated. Everything about what was happening was awe-inspiring; they had been best friends since before they could talk, they'd had their ups and downs, but after a long time of struggling and fighting in their own ways, they had finally reached a point where they were so unbelievably happy together, happy enough to share this wonderful, one-of-a-kind experience with each other.

And it was possibly the last time.

After tonight, after all these months, college was right around the corner. The next few months would be dedicated to the big move. Getting the things they'd need at their designated colleges, rooms, perhaps cheap apartments, books, computers, everything a college student would need. There would be little time for anything else and they would only get busier once college truly started. And to make matters worse, they would be far away from each other. They had never not been more than 10 minutes apart, never not been able to come if they other called. This next chapter of their lives was overwhelming enough as it was, but the fact that they couldn't be there for each other the same way they had grown accustomed to… was heartbreaking.

Neither was sure when it had happened, but they had at some point pulled each other into a hug and were sitting on the bed rather than lying down. The steady rhythm had turned into the occasional thrust from either of them, but something had changed. Rather than feeling connected, they had never felt further apart. Their hearts were reaching for each other, unable to reach. It was Arnold who first felt tears running down his cheeks. When he felt them, he gasped in shock. How long had he been crying?

"Oh… I—I'm sorry, Helga." He whispered when he felt Helga shake in his arms. "I—I… I just… I didn't want to think about it, but I—"

"Arnold…" Helga whimpered and pulled away slightly, her hands still digging into his back. Her cheek touched his and he felt it very clearly; their salty tears mixing.

"Oh, Helga…" Arnold sobbed, unable to hold back his tears knowing she was crying as well. She wheezed when he pulled her into a strong hug, holding onto her for dear life. She let out a loud sob and cradled him in her own arms.

"I don't want to leave!" Helga wept, failing miserably at keeping her breathing steady.

"Screw college." Arnold agreed, breathing harshly through his nose even though it was getting stuffy. He hid his face inside his hair as they laid back down on the mattress, letting each other and themselves cry to their hearts' content.

* * *

"Well… that was a bust." Helga whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. She could feel Arnold nodding, his chin bumping the top of her head gently and his hand running up and down her arm soothingly.

"I guess we're too caught up in our emotions." Arnold agreed, his eyes bloodshot rendering him still rather blind in the darkness.

A knife could cut the silence between them. Despite their words in the heat of the moment, they knew they couldn't drop out of college before they had even begun. Both of them had dreams, career goals, that needed a college education. As much as it killed them, not going to college wasn't an option. Going to the same college wasn't an option either. So what was even left?

Helga took a deep breath. "OK, so I hate mushiness."

"Could have fooled me." Arnold joked, despite feeling too emotionally exhausted to actually laugh at anything. The half-hearted slap on his chest told him Helga felt the same way. "Let's get this over with."

That didn't sound good; Arnold immediately felt very much awake.

"Clearly… we can't live without each other." She stated matter-of-factly. The sigh of relief leaving Arnold's mouth was so loud that Helga almost thought he was being sarcastic, but the nod she felt on her head told her otherwise. "So… how about we actually talk about this like grown-ups?"

"Do you… have a grown-up solution?"

"Maybe." Helga declared and lifted herself up so she could look at him. "How about we find an apartment between our colleges?"

Arnold's eyes couldn't have gotten bigger, they were almost bulging out of his eye sockets. "Helga Pataki… are you asking me to move in with you?"

"I did no such thing!" Helga yelled out of mere habit, but then bit her tongue. "Well… guess I am, yeah. I mean, we've slept over at each other's places like a lot anyway and we know each other's living habits and… the alternative is, what, stupid phone calls and seeing each other maybe once a month if we're lucky? I'd rather live with your annoying habits than that."

"And _you_ don't have annoying habits?"

"One of my annoying habits is being annoyed by your annoying habits!"

Arnold laughed heartily and pulled her down to his chest again, feeling her snuggling closer to him. "Are you serious?"

"No, I just wanted to break your heart a little bit more."

"There's a special place in hell reserved for people like you."

"Good. I hate standing in line."

Arnold rolled his eyes at the familiarity of their banter; he couldn't believe how brokenhearted he was just a minute ago. And now, here he was, about to move in with Helga.

"So, this will still really suck, like _really_ suck." Helga huffed. "Most days we might not even see each other until like… before we go to bed."

"But we'll know that when we come home, the other will be there."

"Except on days when we can't make it home. And we'll probably be in the crappiest of crappy apartments that we can barely afford even with part-time jobs. That is if we can find jobs… or an apartment to begin with."

Arnold smiled, knowing full well that despite her words, Helga was as excited about this development as he was. "Why do you do that, Helga? Why do you always have to look on the dark side?" he asked, knowing what she would say.

"Somebody has to."

 **The end**

* * *

 **Author's 2** **nd** **note: IT'S DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! Be honest, how many of you forgot about this fanfic cause it's been so long? Hahahaha… I'm so sorry about that, like really. But I hope the conclusion was to most people's liking despite the long-ass wait.**

 **And as a reminder, my next long fanfic will NOT be a Shortaki one. Some of you might already know exactly who the next fanfic will be about, I've been posting hints here during autumn x'D I can't say when I'll be able to start it because my life is changing (yet again) in 2019, so I need to have all that settled before starting any big fanfiction projects again. I also want to be sure I have time to go back to a more regular updating schedule, I have been failing miserably at that this past year and I want to get back on track.**

 **That's all for now, folks! Stay tuned :D**


End file.
